a/n: This chapter was hella fun to write tbh. very sorry about the lack of recent updates; I am slowly losing the will to continue this fic weh. It will be finishing soon. BUT HAVE NO FEAR MORE FICS SHALL APPEAR (yay it rhymes). Like, I am not even joking, I have like FIVE NEW ONES. The summary of them all are up on my account/profile if you'd like to see what they're all about! STEAL THE IDEAS AND I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN; I AM AUSTRALIAN THAT'S HOW WE GATHER FOOD...BY HUNTING.
I'm joking omfg but okay! so the tense is messed up in this chapter, I can only apologise, meep.
Um so yeah, time to get some more sass in with these characters!
Enjoy!
You can find me at ant1ers. tumblr. com (the L is a 1)
Emma xo
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It was getting to the end of term and I was done; so done with these stupid children and stupid Blue and stupid need to wake up at some crazy hour in the morning because I was now living with fucking Regina who got to school at like, the crack of dawn. Some mornings Regina left without me, some mornings we'd leave together and then some mornings, like this morning, Henry would wake us up because we had such a vigorous session of sex the night before, we both crashed. Henry was never subtle when he woke up; no light tap on the door to see if we were awake or dressed, just full on, throw the door open and throw himself onto the bed.
"Jesus Christ," I gasped as his knees collided with my stomach and the top end of him hit Regina in the hip.
"Get up, get up, and get the hell up,"
"Five more minutes," Regina rolled onto her side and pulled the covers up around her chin.
"Regina, get up, you have work," Henry curled his fingers around the edge of the blanket and yanked it down. Praise the Lord that Regina had actually gotten redressed after last night because that would have been embarrassing. One of Regina's eyes popped open as she curled up into ball,
"Mr Swan, put the covers back on me or so help me, I'll give you two weeks of detention," Henry clambered on top of Regina and wrapped himself around her like a human blanket, "Emma, get this thing off of me,"
"Mm, nah," I scooped up her portion of the blankets and made myself a grand nest that I nuzzled into while my girlfriend fended off my child.
"Emma… if you don't, you get two weeks of supervised work with Blue Superior,"
That got me motivated. I tackled Henry so hard that we both fell off the bed and onto the floor with a loud thump while Regina hummed with glee as she readjusted herself for another twenty minutes of sleep.
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"Why does Regina get to sleep in and we don't," Henry whined as I pulled into the school car park.
"Because Regina's boss; how many times do I have to explain that to you kid," I glared at Blue's car as I parked my bug next to Regina's spot.
"But I want to sleep in,"
"I think we all want to sleep in," I slammed the door shut and locked it as Henry pulled his school bag onto his back.
"Bring it in kid," I wrapped my arm around Henry's shoulders just as a wild Blue appeared pacing into the car park.
"Morning Ms Superior," Henry chimed as he peeled himself off of me. Blue sneered at me as per usual but let loose a sickly sweet smile at Henry,
"Good morning Henry, nice to see you bright and early,"
I've come to the conclusion that Blue was definitely more annoying before eight in the morning; I probably found her even more annoying than usual because I had to leave the house without a coffee. No thanks to Regina.
"Oh you know, Mum drops me off," Henry shrugged casually but Blue's eyes almost doubled in size.
"I'm sorry; your Mother drops you off?"
"That'd be me Blue," I wrapped my arm around Henry's shoulders again and gave them a slight squeeze. Blue's eyes narrowed immediately,
"You're Henry's Mother?"
"Well, yeah. I thought the last name was a dead giveaway,"
"But…but…but," Blue was struggling for words but my darling son stepped in for her,
"Mum's gay, yeah," Blue's cheeks turned bright red as she cleared her throat, "she didn't used to be, but now she is. Does that concern you Ms Superior?"
Jesus my kid had balls of steel.
"No, nope of course not Henry, I was just a little…confused, that's all,"
Henry nodded, "Well now we've cleared things up. See you later Miss," My son stormed off in the direction of my staffroom and I had never been prouder.
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"Shit Hen, are you nuts?" I squeaked as he stood outside the door to the staffroom. I typed in the code and he followed me in,
"What?"
"Superior will have your ass,"
"No she won't; she's scared of Regina,"
"Everybody's scared of Regina," I clarified as Henry sat down on my chair and started spinning around.
"You're not,"
"Yeah," I grabbed one of my energy drinks from the fridge and cracked it open, "I'm not,"
The bell rang loud and clear, and Henry groaned.
"Come on Mister, you've got class,"
"So do you," he pointed to my schedule which I had taped down to the desk, "you've got History,"
I sneered at that word, "Gross, History,"
Suddenly the staffroom door banged open and a very happy looking Ruby burst through,
"Guess who got fucking laid last night!"
"Jesus Christ Ruby, there is a child in the room," I sipped at my drink as Henry zipped up his bag,
"Oh, hey Henry,"
"Hey Ms Lucas," Henry rolled his eyes as Ruby scratched her head awkwardly, "see you in Art Miss,"
"Uh, yeah, see you then,"
"You could've bloody warned me," Ruby growled as Henry left the room.
"…Genuinely didn't think you'd come in here announcing it to the world," I got together my stuff for my next class as a slow stream of teachers entered the room. Everyone else didn't have class except for Ruby and I this morning so we left together; Ruby yakking in explicit detail of her sexual adventures last night.
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"Emma, you've got a special delivery!"
Mary Margaret waggled a pink envelope in my face as I stepped back into the staffroom after a horrendous History lesson with the children from Hell. I sighed and snatched the letter from Mary's hands just as Regina came through the doors.
"Morning dear," Regina kissed my cheek as I grunted in response, "have a good lesson?"
"Nope, have a good sleep in?"
Regina grinned ear to ear as I dumped my stuff onto my desk, "of course; once you two Swans left, there was some peace and quiet,"
"I feel like that was an insult; should I be insulted?"
"Yes,"
I sat down at my table and flipped the letter over, reading the scrawl on the front.
"What's that?" Regina ran her fingers over the front of the envelope before Leroy crashed through the door, scaring the pants off of everyone.
"Sorry guys,"
"Regina! Can I talk to you for a sec?" Astrid kind of appeared out of thin air and before Regina could object, the woman grabbed her bicep and pulled her out of the staffroom. Mary Margaret scooted her chair over and smiled as I tried to decipher the writing on the front.
"What does it say?" I mumbled as I brought the letter real close to my eye,
"It's a swan,"
"Oh," I pulled it back and yes, Mary Margaret was correct; a very shit drawing of a Swan graced it.
"Well, open it,"
"What if it's like a bomb or something?" I said as I ripped open the top.
"Too late now…"
A brown and green card fell from the ripped envelope; it was covered in different species of birds and I thought it was pretty nifty.
"Read it, read it, what does it say," the tiny brunette woman practically begged me as I flipped the card open. It took me a few seconds to adjust to the fact it was written in an entirely different language; French.
'To Swan, I don't know if your last name is spelt with one N or two N's but anyway, I would just like to say that I am thankful you turned up at Story Brooke College; I'm very glad you're here. Love from a secret admirer'
"Oh shit," My eyes widened, "holy shit," I reread the card. I didn't recognise the writing and it certainly didn't have any sort of flow like an average teacher's handwriting should. It was a student.
"What does it say?" Mary Margaret scrunched up her nose, "I can't read French,"
"It…it says…" I heard Regina huff behind me and Mary Margaret beat me to the punch,
"Emma's got a secret admirer!"
The Principal plucked the card from my fingers and read it.
"It's in French dear, do you mind translating…"
I cleared my throat as the staffroom door swung open. The overly large head of Ms Blue Superior and the smallish pretty one of Ruby appeared briefly over the shoulder of Leroy and disappeared around the corner to where I suspected their desks were.
"Um, it says 'to Swan, blah, blah, blah, very thankful you are at Story Brooke College, love from a secret admirer'",
"Hmm, it seems that Ms Blanchard is correct," Regina handed the card back.
"Wait, what's happening people?" Ruby plopped herself down on the edge of my desk and stole one of the mints I stashed behind my books.
"Emma's got a student crush!" Mary Margaret repeated,
"Oh how charming; if it's a girl this school is definitely going downhill," Blue rolled her eyes and fetched her tuna sandwich from the fridge,
"Shut it Superior," Ruby snapped as she snatched the card from my hands. Her eyes flicked over the writing and her face crumpled.
"Fuck,"
"Ruby," Regina chastised, "you have a mouth of a sailor,"
But it looked like Regina's insult fell on deaf ears. Ruby's eyes scanned the note again, her eyes looking slightly wild and crazed.
"Oh no, oh no, no, no,"
"What now?" Regina sighed as Blue made a point of un-wrapping her sandwich loudly and biting into its obviously crisp lettuce based goodness.
"Tom wrote this,"
"What!" Mary Margaret, Regina and I screeched.
"You've got to be joking Ms Lucas," Regina seethed. Ruby locked eyes with me,
"Who's Tom?" Blue piped up,
"Shut your pie hole Blue and go back to your damn fish sandwich," I was rather surprised when that statement fell from the very lips of Mary Margaret Blanchard. Regina smirked slightly at the blushing pixie haired teacher and then turned her attention to Ruby who was now in what looked like the beginning stages of a mental breakdown.
"So you're telling me, Tom, your brother, likes me?" I whispered but Ruby shook her head.
"No, no, that's not it," I had never seen the woman so pale in all my life…and I mean, Ruby was a pale kind of gal in the first place anyway.
"Okay," I slammed the card down and threw my hands out to clear the space, "Can someone please explain what the hell is going on because I am confused as fuck; how many other Swans are there at this damn school?" I stared at Regina, who was already trying to figure out the answer to that question,
"It's only you and…Henry," she said my son's name in a breathy whisper and if it was humanly possible, Ruby went whiter as she nodded solemnly.
"I am still really confused, why would Tom send a message like this to Henry, I mean… oh," a tiny light bulb went off in Mary Margaret's head.
"Tom…Tom he's still curious and he told me he liked Henry but I didn't say anything because I was worried how you'd take it and anyway, he and Henry were fighting over that Claudia girl and I don't know man, everything's confusing," the words tumbled out of Ruby's mouth before she could put a filter on them.
"Henry knows French?" Mary Margaret tilted her head,
"No, that was all Google Translate; he just wanted to impress..."
"Wait, wait, wait; are you saying your brother Tom, has a crush on Henry?" I was so confused.
"Yes,"
"Great, so there's more of you disgusting individuals in this school," Blue shoved the corner of her sandwich into her mouth and before I even realised that was offensive, Ruby spun around and punched Ms Superior so hard in the jaw, her tuna sandwich flew out her hand and splattered against the back wall.
Blue tumbled out of her chair and I quickly raced forward and wrapped my arms around Ruby's chest before she could do any more damage,
"You fucking bitch, that's my brother you're talking about! How fucking dare you!" Ruby screamed. Blue wiped the blood from her mouth and looked up at Regina for support,
"Aren't you going to do something Regina? Arrest her! Fire her, do something!"
But Regina – bless her cotton socks – stood with her hands on her hips and glared down at the pitiful excuse of a teacher,
"You insulted my girlfriend's child and one of my best students in this school. On the day of your arrival, I stated that this was an open minded school, so no, I will not arrest Ruby nor punish her for her behaviour," She squatted down to Blue's height, "You, on the other hand, can get the fuck out of my staffroom because I do not, and will not, tolerate bullying like that,"
Blue scrambled to her feet and fled the room like her Nun-like skirt was on fire.
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a/n: kinda just made this bit up for shits and gigs because who doesn't like a little bit of confusion omfg. plus, angry regina...