A/N I just want to thank everyone for their amazing reviews. Those reviews is what keeps me going. I seem to have gotten a second wind on this fic so here is another update. Thanks again everyone.
"Surprised to see you here is everything ok?" She nods at me and walks slowly into my office. She just stands in front of my desk and stares at me. "Is there something I can do? Is the situation not under control?" She just shakes her head.
"I came here to speak with Mellie." I'm shocked by that response.
"Why?"
"I wanted to explain to her that nothing was going on with us. I know you don't want her to know specifics, but I just felt the need to tell her." Olivia sits in the chair at the side of my desk.
"How did it go?" She takes a deep breath and looks away.
"I didn't get to talk to her. She was busy." I don't like the look on her face.
"Busy doing what?" She seems to be having an inner battle. "What's going on? What was Mellie doing?"
"Talking to Andrew." My heart starts to speed up.
"How do you know that?"
"They left the door cracked. I heard them." I can tell from the look on her face that I won't like what she has to say next.
"What were they talking about?" I say softly.
"Fitz I really shouldn't be telling you this." I slam my fist down on the desk.
"Damn it Olivia tell me what were they talking about!"
"She's pregnant Fitz. She's having your baby and hiding it from you. She wanted Andrew to pretend to be the father." My heart drops into my stomach. I stand from the desk and stare out the window. I can't believe that this is what she's been hiding from me. Andrew knows and she wanted him to pretend to be the father of my child.
"Fitz?" Olivia lays a hand on my shoulder and I shrug her off.
"Is that all you came here for?" I hear her let out a slow breath.
"Yes."
"Well I have some work to get done." I don't turn around again before she leaves my office. I lay my head on the cool window still in shock about what I'd just been told.
I'm on my way up to the residence. I've had a long day full of boring First Lady duties. I am just about to our bedroom when Fitz comes around the corner. It's something about his body language that causes me concern. He is stiff and appears to be clinching his jaw. He stares at me as he comes closer. Before I can react he grabs my arm and practically drags me into our bedroom. I nearly trip and fall a couple times.
Once we are behind closed doors I snatch away from him. "What the hell is your problem Fitz?"
"When were you going to tell me that you're pregnant?" My eyes widen. My worst fears are confirmed someone overheard Andrew and I.
"Fitz."
"No! Don't Fitz me when were you fucking going to tell me Mellie!" He advances on me and gets in my face his blue eyes blazing. I shake my head unable to speak. Fitz grabs me by my upper arms. "Answer me!"
"Fitz please." I'm scared I don't like when he's like this. Fitz has never hit me, but his anger is scary nonetheless.
"And then you were going to pass my child off as Andrew's? What kind of monster are you?" I've had enough and I snatch away from him.
"One that needed to be away from you! I would do anything to get away from you including passing this child off as someone else's. That's how much I loathe you." He steps back and clutches his chest like I hit him.
"That doesn't give you the right to keep this from me."
"Who told you anyway?"
"That's not important. The important thing is it wasn't you. It should have been you the moment you found out. I have pleaded with you for weeks to tell me what was wrong and you refused. You had no intention whatsoever of telling me that you were carrying my child! That's sick and it's cruel. I've never done anything to you so badly to warrant this type of treatment!"
"In fucking denial again. You have treated me like absolute shit Fitzgerald. And you act like you don't know why I wouldn't want you in this babies life. You talk about having two kids with your whore and living in Vermont. What about the kids you already have? Yet you stand there acting like your kids are the most important thing to you when that is the furthest thing from the true. Your imaginary kids with your whore is more important than the kids that you actually have!"
My eyes widen at what she's just said. I don't even know how she knows about Vermont, but now is not the time to open that Pandora's box.
"Deflection isn't going to make this better Mellie." She walks away from me and then suddenly turns around.
"If you hadn't brought her into our lives our son would still be alive. But it's almost poetic justice that Gerry died since you've been trying to erase our kids from your life ever since you met her."
I can tell that I've made a deep wound in him. From his reaction I know that he's had the same thoughts. Fitz swallows hard and sits down heavily on the bed. His face starts to collapse like a building being demoed I wonder if I've gone too far. Why do we always have to hurt each other so? This is why I need out we are toxic to one another. I go and sit in the chair by the fireplace. We sit in silence for what seems like hours.
"Were you going to tell me Mellie?" Fitz speaks softly all the anger drained out of him.
"Yes I wanted you to sign the papers first." He doesn't respond. "Who told you Fitz?"
"Olivia." I snatch my head his way.
"What?"
"She came to talk to you to tell you that nothing was going on between us and she overheard you talking to Andrew."
"Oh that's rich. Can she ever stay out of our business? It's not her place to tell you these things just like it wasn't her place to tell you about my rape." I can tell she is beginning to get upset again. "I will never forgive you for bringing her into our lives. She's caused nothing, but devastation and destruction to our family."
"That's not fair Mellie." She scoffs and shakes her head.
"Of course you'd say that. You benefited from her being around."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I don't even know why I'm asking, but we need to get everything out in the open.
She looks at me and arches are perfectly manicured eyebrow. "She's fucked and sucked you into oblivion the past five or six years or however long this has gone on. You've been able to check out of reality and live in your fantasy while everyone else has had to go on and clean up after you namely me. You've benefited and you've been the only one that has. Everyone else is living in misery and hell."
"Mels let's not."
"Now you don't want to, but when you were ragging on me you were all in. Typical Fitz. I really don't know how I've put up with this for so long."
"I don't think it's healthy for you to be getting this upset."
"Oh it's healthy for you to grab me up and drag me around?"
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that I was just so angry with you in that moment. I'm desperate here Mellie. I want you to want to be with me. I want you to stay and I know every day that you are slipping through my fingers like sand through an hourglass and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I feel like I'm drowning here and I can't save myself. I know you're going to leave me and I'm just prolonging the inevitable. I'm not saying I deserve you because God knows I never have, but that doesn't change the fact that I love you and I want you to stay my wife."
I am shocked by his words. Fitz hasn't been this open with me in a long time.
"We are toxic to each other Fitz can't you see that?"
"I keep thinking that we can make it right Mels. We used to be so happy and we're having another child, we're getting another chance to fix this mess. I don't want to squander it."
"Too much water underneath the bridge Fitz, I don't trust you anymore." He shakes his head and runs his fingers through his hair before standing from the bed. He looks exhausted and seems to have aged ten years in a span of thirty minutes.
"I'm going to go sleep…..elsewhere." He says pointing toward the door. Fitz makes a move to exit the room, but turns around and walks over to me. He pulls me into his embrace and kisses the top of my head. I resist at first, but my resolve melts away and I wrap my arms around his waist and lay my head on his chest. We just stand there holding each other, not speaking. He finally breaks the embrace. He steps away and takes my face gently in between his hands.
"I love you whatever that means to you at this point. I've never stopped and I know I haven't been the husband you deserve, but I'm going to fix that from this moment forward." He kisses me softly on my lips before stepping away and leaving the room.
The torrent of tears comes soon after the door clicks closed. I hold my stomach as the emotions overcome me. I don't know what to do. A part of me wants to leave and the other wants to stay. I'm so confused. I don't know if I want to leave just to spite him or if I want to leave because I truly no longer want to be his wife. I close my eyes tightly trying to get my emotions under control. I strip out of my clothes and lay down in bed in just my underwear, too tired to go get my nightclothes. I cover myself with the bedding and lay on my side staring at Fitz's empty side. My hand rubs his cold pillow and my heart constricts as I imagine living the rest of my life like this.