"Oh my God!" Cooper squeals with delight. Charlotte turns around to find Cooper sitting on the floor with an open photo album in his lap.
They're leaving tomorrow, and Charlotte has recruited her husband and son to help pack up everything in her old room that she wants to take home. "That does not look like helping to me," Charlotte drawls. Her accent has gotten thicker since they've been here. Cooper smiles, looking down at the photo of teenage Charlotte again – he is now imagining the young version of his wife with her impossibly adorable Southern twang.
Mason looks over his dad's shoulder at the picture. "You won the science fair, Momma?" Mason asks, glancing at Charlotte.
"Mmhmm." Charlotte had won the state science fair in her junior year of high school – a time when she had been sporting a spectacularly voluminous perm and clothes with shoulder pads.
Charlotte walks over to peek at the photo, and her suspicions are confirmed. She had teased her hair out extra large for the occasion and is wearing a flowery dress with some of the worst shoulder pads she has ever seen. Cooper smirks at Charlotte. "Do not laugh at me Cooper Freedman. I have a whole box of photos of you doing magic tricks and playing the tuba." Cooper's mother had brought the photos to show Mason when she had visited last month, but Charlotte had definitely been more excited about the pictures than her son had been.
"I would never laugh at you," Cooper reassures, but he can barely get the words out with a straight face.
Charlotte glances down at the picture again. Big Daddy is standing next to her, beaming with pride. He may have never told Charlotte that he loved her, but she certainly knew he was proud of her.
Charlotte had been fascinated by science since she was young. In junior high school, when her friends were signing up for home economics, Charlotte had insisted on taking extra science classes instead. She had been one of three girls in her physics class and had always prided herself of receiving top marks. Big Daddy had noticed that his little girl was really talented, and he had encouraged her to sign up for summer classes at the community college and to start doing research with faculty there while she was in high school.
Big Daddy could tell that his daughter was far too curious and intellectual to be satisfied without a career. Since she was small, Charlotte had dreamed of being a doctor. She hadn't shared in her friends' fantasies of big weddings and homes full of children. Charlotte knows that part of her aversion to that life had been that it was the path her momma had taken. Momma, who was one of the smartest people Charlotte knew, had spent her life at home while her husband was out in the world. Augusta had made no attempt to hide her dissatisfaction with where her life had led her, and Charlotte would not repeat her momma's mistakes.
Charlotte had become determined not to turn into her mother, so she had done her best to emulate her father instead. Charlotte learned his stoicism, his ambition, his perfectionism, and his desire to control everything in his life. Those traits had served Charlotte well in her career. They had guided her life until a few years ago when Cooper had come along and been so damn unrelenting in his love for her that Charlotte had started to wonder whether there could be more in her life than her accomplishments and her perfect sense of control.
"Think we can save show and tell until we get back home?" Charlotte asks, reaching down and snatching the photo album out of Cooper's hands.
Cooper looks at his wife with his best pout and whines, "but Momma!"
"I swear Cooper," Charlotte says, doing her best to look angry instead of amused.
"You going to punish me later?" Cooper asks, raising a suggestive eyebrow.
Charlotte's eyes dart to Mason. The innuendo has clearly gone over his head though, and he is still looking through the contents of Charlotte's bookcase. Charlotte gives Cooper a playful slap on the arm before joining Mason and looking through her old books.
Charlotte pulls down a few favorites that she can't bear to part with and leaves the rest of the books for her niece when she gets old enough to appreciate them. Landry and his family had decided to move into the house. All three siblings had wanted the house to stay in the family, and when Charlotte had declined the offer to move back to Alabama with a little chuckle, Landry had happily decided to move in.
"Any other books you want, Mase?" Charlotte asks, getting ready to tape up the cardboard box that she plans to ship to LA.
"Nope," Mason tells Charlotte, hopping on the bed and laying down. He puts his arms behind his head and watches his parents work. Charlotte looks at Mason and grins.
Somewhere along the line Charlotte had started to think that she was far too much like her momma for comfort. They were both honest, sarcastic, tough, and addicts. Charlotte hadn't been able to imagine herself as a warm, loving mother, and the best strategy Charlotte could think of to keep herself from turning into her momma in the mothering department was to not have kids.
Charlotte had only been married to Billy six months when he had cheated on her, so they had never broached the subject of children. Charlotte had married Cooper despite knowing that he was dead set on kids, and she supposes that she would have given into his insistences eventually, but she just never had been able to imagine herself with children before. Now, though, she can't imagine herself not being Mason's mother.
Charlotte seals up the box. "You two want to come with me into town to mail this?"
"Can we get ice cream after?" Mason asks.
"Absolutely," Charlotte agrees.
"Then yes, I want to come with you," Mason says getting off the bed. Cooper picks up the box, and they all make their way to the car.
Box in the mail, ice cream cones in hand, Charlotte, Cooper, and Mason settle themselves at a table just outside the ice cream shop on the main street of town. Cooper watches his wife, hair pulled up and off her neck, licking her ice cream. He swears, she should not be allowed to look this hot when they are with Mason. It just isn't fair. Cooper reaches a hand out and turns Charlotte's face to him. She smiles at him amusedly, as if she knows exactly where his mind is, before leaning in and kissing her husband.
Charlotte scoots her chair next to Cooper's and wraps her arm around his shoulders. The air is thick and hot again, and sitting in the shade with ice cream makes the heat just bearable. She's enjoying her ice cream – an obscenely decadent chocolate with brownie and fudge that is definitely going to necessitate an extra long run tomorrow morning. Cooper and Mason are each eating a strawberry cone with rainbow sprinkles. There are a lot of ways that Mason takes after his daddy – from his taste in ice cream to his musical skills to the goofy look he gets on his face when he's trying to keep a secret.
Charlotte is only fully realizing now how much fear had played into her resistance to having kids. She knows that genes aren't destiny, but she was more than a little uncomfortable with the lot she had gotten. Between that and the less than ideal role models she had, the idea of Charlotte being anything but a terrible parent had seemed absurd.
The crazy way that Mason had come into her life hadn't given Charlotte a choice. This kid had been dropped in her lap, and he had needed her. And, God, did Charlotte love Mason and want to help him so badly. She had followed her instincts, and somehow, they'd led her in the right direction. Charlotte had been able to be the mother that Mason had needed. She would never have believed she could be that person, but she is. She is a good mother, and that is the thing in her life that Charlotte is the most proud of.
"It's going to be time for back to school shopping when we get home, Mase," Charlotte says between licks of her ice cream cone.
"Don't remind me!" Mason whines.
"You need some new clothes, Mister. You're growing like a weed; all of your pants are going to be too short."
"Shopping's fine," Mason tells Charlotte, "It's school that's the problem."
It surprises Charlotte too, how much she likes the comfortable domesticity of her life. She looks forward to family game nights and back to school shopping – things that Charlotte would have turned up her nose at a year ago – because she gets to do them with her family.
"I remember you telling me not so long ago that biology was 'absolutely the coolest thing in the world,'" Charlotte reminds Mason.
"It is, and I like spelling and reading. It's just school that I don't like," Mason tells his parents, making what he thinks is a pretty obvious distinction.
Charlotte and Cooper both chuckle. Cooper suggests, "Maybe you'll have a really good teacher this year."
"Maybe," Mason says skeptically.
Charlotte hears her brother's voice from behind her: "Well look who it is."
Charlotte turns around to see Landry, his wife Jenny, and their daughter Anne. "Hey! Want to come join us?" Charlotte asks.
Jenny glances at her watch and tells her sister-in-law, "Just for a few minutes. We have a bunch of things to do before we come over for dinner."
Landry grabs two chairs, and Jenny pushes the baby carriage over to the table. Charlotte coos at her one-year-old niece. "Hello there Annie," Charlotte says tickling the baby. Anne starts giggling, and Charlotte reaches into the carriage to pick her up.
Charlotte is bouncing Anne on her knee, and Cooper wonders briefly when his wife became a baby person. He distinctly remembers her not liking babies, but he's seen her finding find excuses to play with Henry and Lucas lately. Cooper wonders if this is Mason's doing, or if Charlotte has just changed as she got older. Doesn't matter, he decides. It's cute to watch his wife cooing at babies, regardless of the reason.
"You know," Landry says, "Anne just loves her Aunt Charlie. It isn't fair to the girl to be coming around so infrequently."
Way to lay on the guilt, Charlotte thinks. "We'll try to get down here more frequently, I promise." It feels more important to Charlotte now that she has a kid that she visits her family more. She wants Mason to grow up with uncles and aunts and cousins, and since neither Cooper nor Erica have any living siblings, Mason should at least get to know his Uncle Landry and Uncle Duke.
Landry, Jenny, and Anne leave a few minutes later so they can finish running errands. "Want to go to the park for a little while Mase?" Cooper asks. They're almost all packed, so there's no point in going back to the house just yet.
Mason shrugs. "I guess."
Mason's quiet on the walk to the park, and when they get there he doesn't look like he's having very much fun. Cooper gets a call from a patient's parent and walks away to take it, leaving Charlotte sitting on a bench and studying her son. It's a balancing act of when to leave him alone and when to push him to talk to her. Right now she's leaning towards pushing. There had been such an abrupt shift in Mason's mood that Charlotte thinks that something must have set him off. Sometimes little things will remind Mason of Erica, and all of a sudden he'll go from happy and upbeat to sullen. Charlotte's still working on cataloging all the things that upset Mason, and right now, she doesn't have a clue what got to him.
Mason's sitting on a landing on top of the swing set and staring into the distance. He's facing away from Charlotte, so she can't read his face, and swinging his legs back and forth. Charlotte walks over to the swing set and climbs up the wooden stairs to the platform. Charlotte sits down next to Mason, who doesn't say a word. They sit for a minute before Charlotte asks, "What's wrong, honey?"
"Nothing," Mason tells her.
Charlotte raises an eyebrow at Mason. "Remember our deal?" They had agreed that if Mason was upset and really didn't want to talk about it that he could tell Charlotte that, but that he was never going to lie to her about what he was feeling.
Mason doesn't say anything; just keeps staring straight ahead. "Are you thinking about your mom?" Charlotte asks. Mason shakes his head and stays silent. "Please talk to me," Charlotte urges. "I can't help you unless you tell me what's bothering you."
It takes another minute, but Mason finally breaks the silence. "Are you and Dad going to have a baby?"
"I don't know," Charlotte tells Mason honestly. She and Cooper hadn't had a conversation about the topic for quite a while. And then Mason came along, and they are both still getting used to and enjoying having him in their lives. They definitely haven't started discussing possibly having another kid yet.
"How would you feel about having a little sibling?" Charlotte asks. She thinks based on Mason's demeanor that she knows where the conversation is heading, but she decides it's better to let Mason lead before she jumps to any conclusions.
Mason shrugs again, but the way his eyes suddenly fill with tears tells Charlotte everything she needs to know. Charlotte puts her hand on Mason's back, but he keeps his eyes fixed straight ahead. "Look at me," Charlotte tells her son, giving his back a little rub.
Mason takes a ragged breath, tries to keep tears from spilling onto his cheeks, and looks at his momma. Charlotte tells him firmly, "I love you more than anything in the world, and that will never change." She takes a breath, hopes her statement sinks in and that Mason believes it. "If your daddy and I have another kid, that would never change how much we love you."
"Maybe," Mason replies quietly. "But the baby would be yours."
Hearing Mason say that – hearing her son imply that he isn't really hers – hurts in a way that catches Charlotte off guard. Charlotte looks Mason square in the eyes, and tells him, "You are my son. It doesn't matter for a second that I didn't give birth to you. I love you just the same as if I had."
Mason's about to object and point out that Charlotte really can't know that since she's never had a baby and been able to compare, but then he notices that his momma's eyes are wet and she looks like she's trying to hold back tears. "What's wrong?" he asks.
Charlotte shakes her head, annoyed that she got so upset and let this conversation turn to her. She's about to say 'nothing' and return to talking about Mason's feelings, but then she realizes that being honest here might actually help. "I'm sorry, sweetie," she tells Mason, pushing his bangs back and smiling at him. "It just makes me upset to think that you don't know how much I love you. I don't ever want you to doubt that I love you just as much as I would a child that I gave birth to."
Mason thinks about this. He knows that his momma loves him. "But it would be different if you got pregnant and had a baby."
"Yeah. Some things would be different," Charlotte tells Mason, and the acknowledgement makes him feels a little reassured that his momma isn't lying. "But how much I love you and the baby would be exactly the same. Everyone is different, so if I had another kid I wouldn't have the exact same relationship with him or her that I have with you. But that would be true for two biological kids too. Different doesn't mean better or worse."
Charlotte watches Mason as he takes a breath, and he looks like he's really thinking about what she's said. "I love you so much, Mason," she tells him again, softly. Mason looks at Charlotte and nods, and she appreciates the acknowledgement that he knows she loves him.
Charlotte moves so that she's leaning against the wall of the swing set. "Come here," she tells Mason, and he scoots so that he's sitting next to Charlotte and leaning against her side. Charlotte wraps her arms around Mason and kisses his head. "I'm your momma, forever. Nothing will ever change the fact that you are the most important thing in the world to me."
Mason doesn't say anything, but he snuggles himself in a little closer. "Thank you for talking to me about this Mase," Charlotte says. "I'm really happy you didn't keep everything you were feeling to yourself." Charlotte thinks of Cooper, who spent his whole life wondering if he was a replacement for his brother, a fear that bred so many insecurities but that he has never talked to his parents about. Charlotte had grown up being taught that you do not give voice to your feelings, and she recognizes now how harmful that mentality can be. She wants her son to feel like he can talk to her and Cooper about anything.
Mason looks up at Charlotte a little worried. "I love you Momma," he tells her. Does he think she doubts that after this conversation?
"I know that. You can tell me anything, and it won't change out relationship." Charlotte gives Mason's arm a little squeeze and tells him jokingly, "You're stuck with me, kiddo."
Mason grins and tells Charlotte, "I'm ok with that."
"Good," Charlotte tells her son with a smile. "Want to play a game of catch? Your daddy's on the phone, but you and I can start and then he can join us."
"Sure," Mason says. "You're better at throwing than Dad is anyway."
Charlotte chuckles, before getting on the windy silver slide and making her way back to the ground. Mason slides down after her, and she wraps her arm around his shoulder and pulls him against her side. She and her son are building their relationship together. Maybe that's different from parenting an infant, and maybe it isn't what most mothers do. But she loves this. She loves getting to know Mason, growing closer to him everyday. Mason's her son, and it doesn't matter how he got to be that way. All Charlotte knows is that she could not possible love this little boy anymore.