By the next morning, Clarke was a mass of emotions. The memory of Bellamy's arms still lingered upon her, clouding any rational thought she might have had. There had been no screams from the Grounders' camp which could only mean Finn had died easily, painlessly.
As Clarke had implored Lexa when they sent her away.
She had to be honest, she never expected the commander to actually listen to her but at that stage of the game, begging seemed like the only option.
Of course, it was only hope that kept her so optimistic about Finn's death. For all she knew, he could have hung his head high while they tortured him in ways unimaginable to a rational human being. The mere thought brought tears to Clarke's blue eyes and she blinked them away forcefully.
On top of everything, Raven was absolutely angry with her, and the blonde didn't even know why exactly. What could she have done, to save Finn's life?
Because sure as hell she suffered just as much as Raven did, no matter how long she knew Finn.
That didn't stop Clarke from feeling a horrible pang of unexplainable guiltiness. It was something horrible that made her want to vomit her guts out.
The alarm went off.
Her mind still on Finn, Clarke hurried to the gates, already knowing who the uninvited visitors were. In front of a few muscular men stood Lexa, high up on a horse, her back straight and her eyes vicious.
The broken girl swallowed agitated, trying to calm her nerves down. What did this woman want more from them? Maybe she had changed her mind, Clarke thought, and was now ready to take her as well.
Somewhere in the chaos that had created, Bellamy ended up next to her, so close she could almost hear his heartbeat rhythmically moving along with hers.
She gulped and forced her mind to focus, forced her legs to get her to the opening gate.
"What do you want?"
Any form of politeness or fake respect was gone from Clarke's voice, but the strength still made a powerful impact. The commander's icy eyes didn't soften as she gave the blonde girl before her a mere, unimpressed look.
"We want nothing more but to bring the body of one who had killed many of our own and to discuss further the transformation of the Reapers."
Clarke barely gave any notice to the second part of that sentence as she hurried towards the back of this riot, towards the place she though she had caught a glimpse of a body. Someone was hot on her heels but she didn't bother to find out who.
Clarke's heart froze completely.
Before her very eyes stood Finn's dead body, covered in blood.
Clarke's heart broke completely just as she could feel the world coming down onto her. She started shaking so badly, so horribly she was afraid she was going to crumble.
She didn't. Her whole body was too numb for it.
Somewhere far in the distance came a piercing scream of grief as Raven let herself yell the pain away, something Clarke couldn't find herself able to do.
She was completely frozen into place.
In the end, she had no idea who carried her away from the scene or who took Finn's body from the Grounders. All she knew was that a few hours later she found herself wrapped in blankets in the small room her mother used for healing.
Somewhere in the room, Raven was there as well.
Clarke could hear her muffled cries and as she dared look around, she met those brown, red on the edges eyes.
The blue eyed girl could feel the tears threatening to come again just at the sight of this girl who was going through the exact same thing she was.
And God, was it horrible.
There was a moment when Clarke considered saying something but words seemed to fail her. Her mouth would simply refuse to move and even if it did, what was there to say?
She tried instead to smile but that simple task was as much of a failure as the first.
In the end, she resigned herself to being quiet.
The silence was deafening, and when, finally, someone stepped in, Clarke could not be more glad. Until she actually saw the person coming to rescue her from this horrible state she found herself in.
"Bell-" His whole name couldn't be said in a bare whisper that came out of her mouth. The blonde discovered her voice was not to be trusted. Apparently, Raven could not even dare to speak.
"Hey, Princess." His smile was sweet and caring, almost resembling the ones he sometimes threw Octavia. There was something else in that smile, as well and when Clarke couldn't point it out, she found herself convinced it was pity.
She hated pity.
There was silence once again, and Clarke knew she would be going crazy if no one said anything any time soon.
"What's been happening outside?" She meant to sound strong and confident. Unhurt. She failed miserably.
"Nothing spectacular. Everyone is still talking, mainly. I also thought you two should know, Griffin-" Bellamy made a pause, unsure whether he should be calling Clarke's mother so impolitely in front of her girl but decided the blonde wouldn't care. "said Finn had died immediately. No pain, really."
He was horrible at giving news but even more dreadful at comforting words and he knew that. His announcement had sounded like an awkward conversation with a stranger.
None of the girls were strangers to him, though he wasn't ashamed to say that he cared about one more than another.
He advanced towards Clarke, cautiously as not to disrupt her. The last thing he wanted was to make her even sadder. Her eyes red with dried tears and her body shaking, she already looked horrible enough without one of his idiotic blunders.
"You should get some rest." He tried, though he already knew the outcome.
"We should." Said Raven.
"I'm fine." Answered Clarke at the same time.
"I doubt that you are but I'm too tired to argue with you. See you in the morning."
And with that, Raven moved her legs around ungraciously and exited the room. After the brunette girl left, Bellamy gave Clarke his full attention.
"Your mom was here earlier." He said, trying to keep an easy conversation flowing. He wasn't going to be let off the hook that easily.
"I saw his body. I saw how they tortured him." Tears were already in her eyes and Bellamy found himself unable to recall when Clarke had ever cried in front of him.
"I know."
It was a stupid thing to say. But words just were not his speciality.
Instead, he chose to repair his blunder by setting himself close to Clarke, letting one hand rest on her shoulder. He dared nothing more.
"I'm sorry." She said, in such a fragile whisper, the man sitting beside her found it unable to correlate with the tough girl he was used to.
She fell asleep in his arms, whether willingly or unwillingly, he did not know.
"They sent us here to die." Clarke exclaimed, in a heated argument with the few other kids around. They were all trying to formulate a plan to get their people out of Mount Weather.
"But we're not dead." Bellamy protested, moving his hand just a little towards Clarke's. In all means possible, he felt like an idiotic teenager with a stupid, passing crush. Only he wasn't a teenager and he was smart enough to know this was not a passing crush. It actually scared him how tactless he seemed to be around her.
"Exactly. So we have to fight." She made a pause, in which her hand flew off the table to set the map on the table. "I've been thinking. So I believe they must have at least doubled the security at those exists-" She pointed at the map. "But there is still this one-" Another point on the map drawn by her. "And I think this might be our way. It's the least accessible and I've never seen anyone come out of it."
"Fine. We get in, then what?" Asked Octavia.
"It's a big institution. They can't possibly have everyone know everyone."
"So what you're suggesting is disguise ourselves?"Mel asked, a little unsure.
"Actually, I suggest creating an ambuscade. Some of us let ourselves be found, while a few progress to getting everyone out."
"It won't work. If we reach them, what will happen then? They might not even listen to us." Bellamy stated, his hand moving once again.
"Yes, well, I trust that Jasper and Monty have figured it out by now." said Clarke, her mind obviously fussing over what would happen if they didn't agree.
"Even if they do, how the heck are we supposed to be getting them out?" Bellamy asked.
Clarke couldn't help think that it was incredible how he found every flaw in her already stupid plan. It almost felt like he was completing her plan, like he was completing her.
"That's when it gets messy."
"It already was." Octavia stated.
"Messier. The ones who were captured have to create another diversion, giving them time to escape the way I did. Meanwhile, our people could help from the outside."
There was a short pause.
"It won't work." Lincoln said, a scream almost covering his voice.
The Reapers, Clarke reminded herself.
"There are too many ifs. If they get distracted. If they agree. If they all come. You're dangling too many maybes."
And Clarke knew Octavia's boyfriend was too right for her own liking. By the looks of everyone else, it seemed that Lincoln had spoken for everyone.
With a little bit of dignity left, Clarke left the table, back arched and head high, as if the imposing position she had adjusted her body in could stop the tears from flowing.
This time, Bellamy didn't follow.
He doubted she would want him to.
So instead, he looked around the camp, trying to decide what to do next when suddenly, a silhouette caught his tired eye.
It, she was heading straight into the fence, and would have probably collided with it had she not slipped past it.
It took Bellamy one more second before he decided to follow, the lack of an any worthwhile activity combined with curiosity getting the very best of him. It was, after all, illegal to go out unauthorized.
Moving swiftly across the camp towards the place the shadow had escaped, already knowing whom it was, he tried not to attract too much attention.
As soon as he reached the forest, however, the attention was no longer something to worry about. Gripping the gun he took in case of anything, Bellamy advanced in the forest, following the brunette.
"Raven!" He yelled at the girl when his patience was lost. For someone with only one good leg, she didn't manage too bad at all.
The girl gripped the gun in her hand and turned, pointing it towards the intruder.
"Bellamy!" She exclaimed, completely surprised as the weapon went down beside her.
"You know, you would have been killed had it been a Grounder." Bellamy stated emotionlessly, leaning against a tree.
Raven rolled her eyes.
"Don't blame Clarke for this." He said, in as much casualty as he could muster.
"Of course it's about Clarke! What else would it be? You know, as much as it might surprise you, I loved him equally much!" She was loosing her temper, not that it could really be helped. Raven felt awful and no amount of anything could fix the pain and the emptiness she felt. It was horrible, more than horrible. Worse than death, she thought.
"Go to your blonde friend, Bellamy. I'm not the one you love."
It took the man completely by surprise the words spoken towards him. What was she talking about? He couldn't honestly be that obvious, could he? And if he was, how many people had noticed? Had Clarke seen?
Shaking any more questions off his mind, Bellamy headed back to the camp in almost a rush.
"Be careful." He told Raven as they parted.
His mind kept moving around the word Raven had used: love.
Ok, so first of all, I want to apologize for my lateness. I guess, I have engaged in too many activities.
Second of all, don't kill me for taking it slow to mend Clarke's heart. I think she deserves the time. Not to mention I'm moving a lot faster than the writers.
And third of all, I hope you enjoyed this chapter :-) Feel free to give me any kind of feedback you think I deserve( positive, negative, whatever).
Also, anyone else really noticed how while Clarke was standing tall after she killed Finn, Raven was breaking down? I think that was a really nice demonstration of how strong Clake Griffin really is.