Sheer panic arose at feeling water hit her face, eyes wide, frantically looking around, the sight of her mother standing over her filled her vision. Lying in a bathtub with merlot between her thighs, she looked back up watching the reason she was wet kneel beside her. "You are an evil woman." Only the older blonde could get away with turning the shower head on while she slept. Rubbing her tired eyes, she allowed her head to fall back against the cold tile wall staring into the blue that mirrored her own.
"You missed your coming home party." Speaking casually didn't hide the hurt disappointment she knew was there. How long had she planned this party? Since agreeing she would stay a summer with her two months before? "I know you are the last person on the planet to have social anxiety, what's wrong with you?" The tone was quickly changing and she very much felt like a scolded child. "And you pull up drunk? And your driving drunk? How could you after what happened-"
"I do it all the time." Disaster, everything seemed disasterous, now she was hurting her mother even more with a topic sensitive to both of them. "It's fun." How ridiculous she sounded but her pride refused to hear anymore, and her heart felt the same. Wanting to avoid the subject, she hated the sadness that came along with it, she would say anything to end the drinking and driving conversations. "Why did you want me here so badly?"
The silenced stretched as she recalled being begged by her determined mother to come spend a summer with her. It was a request that took her completely off guard, she had never asked her to come back since she left, and one day out of the blue she was being begged back to Mississippi, to her childhood home. "I'm dying, Spencer."
Deflating, the attitude disappeared and as she observed her mother, looking for any trace of a sick joke or lie, even when she didn't see one, she refused to accept what she was hearing. "There must be a mistake."
Shaking her head from side to side, in a very calm casual way, the older blonde patted her hand. "I'm not scared. I'll enjoy heaven, and enjoy being closer to God." The optimism seemed genuine, but it didn't fix anything for her. "I'll enjoy being reunited with your brother and father."
"Let me fly you back to California with me." The pleas came out as quickly as the wheels could turn in her head. "I'll get you the best treatment-"
"It's too late."
"No." Why was she giving up so easily? She couldn't accept that. There must be something on the planet that could help her. "I want a second, third, fourth opinion. Let me take you out of the country somewhere. I can afford anything, Mother. Absolutely anything out there. We just have to..." She trailed off as an impulsive finger touched her lips.
"I don't want treatment. God has a plan for everyone, my baby, and if this is mine, so be it! I want to spend the rest of my life healthy, happy and with the many people I love." The finger fell to her hand, and once again she was patted there. "And that's why I wanted you here so badly."
Laying awkwardly in the tub, she leaned forward into her mother's arms. They had plenty of ups and downs and probably didn't talk as much as they should have, but they always reached a good place in the end and always loved each other dearly. "You're all I have left."
A kiss was placed in her hair. "Don't worry sweet baby, I'll come back as an angel and make sure to visit you in your sleep." She pulled away and cupped her daughter's cheek. "Is sleeping in bath tubs something you do normally?" Her mother always found a way to lighten the mood. "I wasn't expecting to have this talk with you in a bathroom like this."
"How do you think I feel?" Allowing her head to fall back, eyes landing on the shower head, she imagined the water falling onto her face and body, drowning everything out. "I wasn't expecting to have this talk at all."
"I did a lot of research on how to tell you." She admitted with a chuckle. "And I was on a cancer forum reading all these other parent's expierence just getting myself ready for what you might ask, I have note cards sitting in the other room."
"You should have gave me a heads up." Their eyes met as she turned her head, a smile corrupting the frown on her lips. "I would have prepared a power point presentation." The smile turned into a small chuckle. "I know some good medicinal marijuana dispenseries."
That got her mother laughing, "I have the bible, Spencer. I don't need marijuana." She became a bit more serious but kept a smile. "Do you want to ask me anything?"
"Is my room prepared?" In the back of her mind, she remembered the hotel reservation she made a week earlier. All the discomfort that revolved around being home didn't matter anymore. "I'm going to be here awhile."
"How long?" The excitement was easily seen in older blue eyes. "This isn't going to ruin your... Work, is it?"
Work. Spencer was always vague with her mother when it came to her career choice. Declaring herself a porn star, was entertaining, but there was so much more to it than that, and her mother would never, ever, know the depths and details of her work. "I can take as long as I'd like."
"Good!" The excitment grew and Spencer was finding it contagious. "I'm so happy you're home, my baby. We'll have so much fun out here, swimmin and pickin berries in the garden- Oh! Ashley's gettin married!..." Everything after that wasn't heard.
"Ashley's getting married?" She repeated slowly with fragments of the other night coming to mind- The word fiance didn't pop up anywhere, neither did an engagement ring- What did come to mind she really didn't want to think about... Of all the people in the world, she had to run into Ashley fucked up. And Ashley was... "Seventeen. She's seventeen and engaged?" Although she didn't know anything about Ashley, she knew there was something very wrong with the whole scenario. Most seventeen year olds couldn't decide who to take to prom, much less, know who they were going to spend the rest of their life with.
"They became engaged about two years ago." Paula explained casually as if fifteen year olds becoming engaged was an ordinary everyday thing. "She's marrying a really sweet boy named Levi James. Have you ever heard of him?" A head shake was her no and she was reminded of a hang over only bound to get worst. "He's her age moved here when they were about 12 and Raife has taken him under his wing. You should hear them two boys perform. They're good."
"Yeah. That could be fun." Las Angelas was seeming more and more inviting. The day had left her exhausted on top of already being exhausted. Her mother was sick and she was stuck in what seemed like the world's smallest town with a girl she had been a complete dick to moments before who she later found out was the same little girl that melted her heart over a decade ago. "I'm really tired, Mother. I'm going to get out of this tub and find somewhere to properly pass out."
With final good nights to her mother, and with her help, she left the safety of the bathroom and found her room untouched. There was a moment where she paused staring at her old computer before giving into her body's demands for sleep.
The internet had become her escape. During the day, at sixteen, everyone knew her as a sweet Christian girl. But at night, when everyone was lost to a world of dreams, she remained awake until the sun came up.
The hours were spent only on one website, after awhile, she forgot where she even stumbled upon the link, but it kept her captivated.
Mesmerized.
All of the live shows starred a tall beautiful woman with light hazel eyes and jet black hair. Her outfits were always dark, powerful, and her victims always screamed.
Voices drew her out from a deep sleep, it took a second for her mind to catch up with her suroundings. Her old bedroom. She never imagined herself 28 years old sleeping in her old bed, with her old sheets. The feeling was as bizarre as the last couple of days.
Maybe today would be slower paced.
Normal.
Dragging herself out of bed, into the hallway, she walked into the kitchen eager to quench her thirst. The glass of ice water was downed with a quick series of swallows. As she placed the glass down, she could see the living room from where she stood.
Ashley sat with her mother and a small group of children on the massive floor rug. They all had the same colorful book in their lap, Spencer recognized it remembering the days where she and her mother did the very same thing. Five mornings out of the week Paula ran a small daycare that she helped with whenever she could. They would read biblical stories formatted for children in a special colorful book.
Watching Ashley teach a group of children the bible felt strange. It seemed like yesterday she was just a child herself listening to her read story after story. And now she was older, on the brink of adulthood, engaged, taking care of her mother like her mother had taken care of her as a small child.
Glassy blue eyes opened, the strain on her face appeared out of the darkness and she stopped. "No!" The brunette pleaded moaning, she continued pumping her hips at her pleas slowing down a bit.
The cross sprawled across her naked chest captured her attention. She stared at it carefully the ecstasy enhancing its golden hue. The resemblence to the one she used to wear was uncanny. Her hand came up, the moans that weren't her own became more persistent. Unconsciously, she moved a bit quicker taking the golden charm between two fingers.
A final moan was heard and the legs tightly wrapped around her body began to quiver unrelentlessly. She released the charm as if it burned, staring strangely at the girl underneath her.
Her breathing was fast and uneven, and with closed eyes she continued to quiver. Spencer ran her fingers through the many curls, watching the girl slowly come down from a height her body had never expierienced before.
Their eyes met, and she fell deep into the brown orbs, stroking her face delicately, a couple of tears rolled down her cheek and she caught them never looking away. "You're magnificent." She kissed the flush cheek and allowed her head to fall onto her shoulder. "Striking."
The memory came out of nowhere and she wanted to deny the night ever happened. Wanted to deny that in the middle of fucking someone she thought was a hot stranger, fucked out of her own mind, she discovered Ashley, and as her foggy mind began to clear, and the night reappeared to her, she began to remember everything and decided, she needed to take a drive.
The front door opened and a giddy red head appeared. Sarah was her southern best friend since she could remember. They grew up together, briefly dated in high school, and kept in touch over the years. She had a husband and three kids but he didn't seem to mind when they occasionally hung out or had sex.
He was never invited.
Spencer never dealt with men after her first early expierence. "Spencer! You gonna stick around this time?" The blonde laughed feeling a bit guilty for abandoning her friend the night before.
"Sorry." She greeted her in a hug and brief kiss before stepping inside. "You know I can't have a night out without something crazy happening." Walking to the kitchen, she opened a cabinet feeling arms wrap around her from behind. "Uh oh. Going straight for the liquor. Something must be wrong."
Downing a shot of vodka, she poured her friend a glass and then poured herself another. "My mother is sick." She took another shot drinking the poison like water. "Dying, I'm not sure from what. Cancer, I think." The woman kissed the top of her head holding her closer, she gave an apology. "She's in good spirits about it, actually. Said something about seeing my father and brother." She took another shot. "And that girl from the bar, the one I ditched you for, we know her." Facing her friend, bottle in hand, she watched green eyes move up in thought.
"I don't know." She gave up looking to her for answers.
"Ashley Davies." Saying the name sounded strange, and her friends eyes all of a sudden turned into giant saucers.
"Bull shit." She offered Sarah a swig of the bottle, taking one herself when declined. The blonde found herself wishing it was bull shit. Wished she had some kind of compulsive lying disease. "You kissed her." Sarah reminded reflecting on the night Spencer, her and a few other friends were supposed to have a good time in the French Quarter, let loose before she went to visit their old hometown. "And then brought her to the diner the next mor- You slept with her!"
Her eyes somehow managed to grow bigger than before, Spencer finished the vodka off already thinking of the next bottle... "I didn't sleep with her." She was starting to feel the alcohol, starting to notice her friends alluring body so close to her own. "Gabby did."
Green eyes rolled as she was pulled into the blonde's wanting body. "You're a mess, Spencer." Insistent lips traveled down her neck as skillful hands explored her body. "I thought she was engaged." Spencer didn't stop ripping her clothes off as she answered, "she is." Cupping a full breast, she captured her friends lips. "To Levi James." She answered the question she knew would come next. "I don't know who he is." Sarah loved knowing details.
"That makes no sense." She heard her friend say as she began kissing down her body. The blonde stilled in her movements and then stood up, going back to the liquor cabinet. "Why would she sleep with you if she's engaged?"
Leaning back against the kitchen counter, she opened a bottle of rum. "I'm not sure. I haven't spoken to her since I dropped her off." She poured the liquor into a taller glass this time. "I ran into her at my coming home party, and couldn't speak. I fled to the bathroom and passed out in the tub." She took a couple healthy swallows waiting for another onslaught of questions.
Sarah nodded in thought, looking down at her half naked body, she quickly looked back up at her. "Why'd you stop?"
Spencer closed the distance between them, luring her into the guest bedroom, she thought of all the different ways to keep her friend's mouth too busy to ask anything else.
She was done talking about Ashley for the day.