Tirion's POV
My mother looks out through the layer of coal dust settled on the window at the just-risen sun making its way up in the brightening blue sky. "Who is that – This early?" she mutters to herself. She is puzzled for a moment until she remembers the only person who could be visiting us this early in the morning. I smile, for real now, because I knew right away.
"Hello? Tirion, Liana; are you home?"
My mother and I exchange satisfied looks on hearing her voice. I answer her call, "We're in the kitchen, Kaia. You're just in time for a little breakfast."
"Much more than a little," my mother says, also smiling. "Come on in."
She pokes her head in the doorway, brushes away the dark tan hair that had flown into her face, and when she sees the food on the table, her gray Seam eyes widen and she draws in an audible gasp.
"Well, I see someone had a good morning," Kaia says, walking in and admiring the bounty on the table, then turning to smile at me. "How are you both?" she asks, looking from me to my mother.
"Fine." I say tersely. Considering the circumstances, I am, but it's reaping day. Nobody is really fine today.
"Are your mother and Rowan coming?" I ask in a more friendly tone, to ease any remaining tension in the air. Kaia nods. "I just wanted to make sure you were here."
"Good," my mother says brightly. "We'll eat together."
I inwardly frown. Does she mean she wanted to know if I was home, or if my mother and I were awake and ready for visitors? Somehow I want to think that she meant she wanted to see me. I wonder, does she enjoy my company the same way I so deeply enjoy hers?
I silently watch her as she examines the meal fixings on the table. I've known her since we were five years old, and the years passed and our friendship deepened and we came to know each other better than we knew ourselves; and I became surer and surer that we would always remain the closest of friends.
But although I was right in my prediction, for the past few years, my feelings have changed, and I'm not sure it's for the better. When I look at Kaia now, I notice things I never did before. I notice how lithe and beautiful she is. I notice how smooth and fluid her movements are, and how lovely her light, sweet voice is. I notice the balance of light and dark – silver and deeper gray – in her irises, which are an almost flowerlike shape.
I especially notice how pleasant she is to be with, how bright and optimistic she'll be even when things are so difficult and terrible. She can make anyone feel nice, even if it's only a little bit. But it always, always counts.
Even at those times when all the pain and fear and sorrow and anger in me rush up on me all at once, and I feel so weak and helpless, like I'm drowning and suffocating in despair and there's nothing, absolutely nothing I can do about it, she can bring me back. She can make me feel like there is use in going on in my life. She can put her arm over my shoulders, and remind me of things like the promise I made to myself to protect and support my family, my own strength of spirit that she knows can bring me through anything, and the love she and the rest of my family have for me.
She never knew how it made me feel to hear her say that she had love for me. It made everything that hurt wash out of me to hear her tell me that, even if her love is only that of a friend for a friend or a sister for a brother. But my feelings are different. As we have grown and matured, I noticed something in myself as well. Something different in how I felt towards Kaia.
I started to see her in a different light. At first I didn't know how to describe this change in myself, couldn't make sense of my new, complex, powerful emotions. All the thoughts and feeling flying around in my mind and heart were foreign to me but still strangely pleasant. I tried hard to work out what I was feeling every time I was around Kaia, and there was only one conclusion that I kept coming back to and finally had to accept as true.
I came to realize that I had fallen in love with Kaia. It's an indescribably beautiful feeling, to love someone with all your heart. But I can't bring myself to let on at all. We've been friends for so long, it almost feels awkward to have my best friend become the object of my romantic affection. Never having been in love before, I've no idea what to do. What if I ended up doing everything all wrong? What if it's not real love I'm feeling, just youthful infatuation?
And if I were to tell her, how would she react? What would she think? How would it affect our relationship? Our friendship? No, I can't reveal my feelings for Kaia. I can't do anything to affect the friendship we've spent twelve long years building. I don't want this to change.
"Tir? Something wrong?" Kaia looks at me with concern in her eyes, apparently noticing some sign of my mind working over this dilemma.
"No, it's okay, it's nothing," I assure her. And nothing is wrong, really. Whatever the problems, love feels good, and I am more or less content with where we stand now. I step over to the table next to her and decide to focus on what to eat for breakfast instead of mastering my affections. "I think goat cheese and strawberry halves on the bread, and portions of apple and rabbit with it would make a good little meal. Does that sound good to you?"
"It sounds perfect."
"And that's not even the best part," my mother says with a smile. "Wait until you see what Tirion was able to get as a treat today."
Kaia's face breaks into an anticipatory grin. "What is it?" she asks eagerly.
Cookies and candy. We've never been able to afford any before; it was only Lek's innocent kindness that got them for us. She'll be so happy…
Just then, we hear a voice come from the direction of the front door. "Hello? Is anyone home?"
My mother calls back, "We're here, Farrah; please come in!"
"In the kitchen, mother!" Kaia adds.
Farrah peers into the kitchen and her mouth forms a wide 'O' of surprise when she sees the food. One second later Kaia's younger brother Rowan tears into the room. "Hi, Tir! Hi, Liana!" he greets my mother and I brightly.
"Hi, Rowan," I say, the just-turned-four-year-old's excitable nature.
"It's good to see the three of you," my mother says, looking from Farrah, to Kaia, to Rowan. "Now that we're all here, let's eat!"
"Yeah!" Rowan says, jumping up and throwing his fist in the air before scrambling into a chair. Kaia and I exchange small smiles before she takes my hand and leads me to a seat at the table, taking the seat next to me. I cherish our closeness, both physical and friendly, and immerse myself in the happiness she will always bring to me as my mother prepares the meal, and banish all thoughts I can of the shadow of the reaping that floats in my consciousness, that will tear two District 12 children away from everything they cherish forever.
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