Ch 4 Meeting Chad

3 Months after the events of the previous chapter…

I sighed walking down the street.

"Well I guess that's it, spent 3 months looking for a roommate, couldn't find a damn one, I'm broke, and I'm getting kicked out of my place in 3 days. I will be a hobo for the rest of my life."

I looked over to see a hobo sitting against a wall.

"Might as well start now."

I slowly looked at the hobo next to me.

"Hey."

"Heeeey."

"Want to go collect cans or something?"

He shook his head. I sighed again.

"Hey, is that a turkey sandwich? Think I could have some of that?"

"No."

"No? Not even half?"

"No, i-I don't share my sandwiches."

"You see the problem there is you're not a sandwich sharer guy are you?"

"No. I-it's my sandwich."

"Nope definitely not a sandwich sharer guy, don't share sandwiches, this is my sandwich and I'm not gonna share it. That's you. That was my impression of you there."

I looked away finally giving up. I saw the houses and front of me and realized that there was a sign in front of one of the houses that had the word literally spelled out 'VaKAnsY' in sharpie.

"Looks like I won't be a hobo after all. You enjoy that turkey sandwich man. Still don't like the whole sharing thing?"

"N-no. I don't share my sandwiches, No."

I walked up to the door a victorious grin on my face, and rang the doorbell. A man who looked to be maybe about two years older than me in green clothing stepped out.

"Hey… man, what's up. What is up?"

"Uh, hey, I'm here about the, roommate thing."

"Ohh. You're here about the… yeah man, the roommate thing. You know I need a roommate too…. Oh wait! I am me! I'm me and I live in this house. It's got all my stuff in it."

"Yeah."

"Yeeahh. How did you know?"

"Heh, y-you just told me."

"I, Did? When was that? It wasn't 3 days ago was it? Because I was at the video store that day renting GhostBusters.

Silence.

"I don't mean to sound uncool but why are you here?"

"T-the… u-uh t-the roommate thing."

"Ohh. Yeahh. The roommate thing! I'm so sorry about that, why the hell aren't you in here? Why aren't y-. Get in here!"

I walked through the door to what I'm sure was probably the inside of a dead rat.

Chad's apartment

"Ok, This is the room, the main house room, and this is where the stuff goes."

"So I just put my stuff in here?"

"You, put your stuff in here. That's right, this is the stuff room. It goes in here. Alright so, everyone's laid back here, I'm laid back so, there's only a couple rules. Don't eat my Mr. noodles, and if you're gonna whack off don't do it in the kitchen or the living room, and try to keep the noise down after seven cuz' the neighbor's a prick. Oh, and I like to smoke a lot so I hope you don't mind it being a little bit smoky in here. Any questions?"

"Can I move in today?"

2 hours of moving stuff later…

I sat by the TV staring in awe.

"Dude you've got like every game system ever made."

"Yeah, I know. The Sega CD is fucked but I got a 32X in the basement somewhere."

"You've got a gold cartridge ocarina of time and majora's mask?"

"Yeah man."

"And the NES still has super Mario brothers 3 in it. This is like my dream collection."

"Oh, well thanks bro, if you want to play a game you'd be very welcome to."

"Oh, no thanks, I'm good."

I waited for a second before sitting down on the couch.

"Hey do you mind if I watch some TV?"

"Hey what's mine is yours."

I turned the TV on and went channel surfing.

"What the hell… The O'Brian factor? Isn't that show like 500 years old?"

"Oh yeah, in 2011 they cryogen…etically froze Dan O'Brian and just woke him up two weeks ago but he's on some life support. The network's trying to get his show back on."

(TV)"What's that say? On my status screen indicator, battery low. What does that mean? Fuckin' thing sucks!"

(Real time)"Oh don't have that too loud my neighbor's gonna hear it and he's gonna get super pissed because he hates this show."

"What's the big deal, it's just a TV show?"

"It's because O'Brian always going on about my neighbor's kind being terrorists."

"Terrorists?"

"Yeah, my neighbor's the C word."

"Oh."

"Covenant!"

"Oh!"

"I mean I'm still a little ticked about the whole, annihilating mankind thing, but the guy's cool. You don't have a problem with that do you?"

"Oh no, I don't care."

"Phew, good. I thought you might be one of those intolerant guys."

"I thought your neighbor was a prick."

"He is! Well, you know how it is."

"Right."

Then surprising me the doorbell rang.

"Crap, that's probably him now, his name's peter, don't mention his split jaw he gets all sensitive."

"Hey Pete what is it?"

"Mne meesh hobba sloaw da shon snow."(I wanna borrow your Johnny mnemonic DVD.)

"Fuck you, you wanna borrow my Johnny mnemonic DVD. You still got my Hard drive. I'm cool with letting you borrow shit but I got like a one item limit at a time man. And you owe me five dollars for all those chips still."

"An en fad!"(You're a fag!)

"Yeah I'm a fag, that's why I let people borrow my shit. I'll call you tomorrow dude."

"Yeea."(A'ight.)

Chad came back inside.

"He's a Keanu reeves fan. I actually liked that 'Day the earth stood still' movie."

"Again, another reference to 5 century old media."

"No, they made a remake that just came out with Keanu reeves in it. Again. He was frozen with dan O'Brian."

I tried to say as little to this I could so I just sighed.

"I'm starving would you mind if I had some of your noodles?"

"Heh, you know what, if you had taken my Mr. Noodles without asking, I'd have been pissed, but it's about the manners and because you asked, i-I would love to share my Mr. Noodles with you."

"Thanks."

"Get the hell in this kitchen man. We are gonna have some FUCKIN' NOODLES. You and me man, we're gonna get along just fine… Oh! What's your name?

End of CH 4