CH 5 The Hangout
Anthony and Chad's apartment
"642319. Got it, okay so what is this?"
"That's our new phone number in case you need me for anything. You sure you can remember?"
"Yeah it's written down right here."
"Good, okay well I'll let you go, bye."
"Bye."
I hung up the phone to end my conversation with my mom.
"Sorry about that."
"Oh no, it's cool man. So do you have like a job?"
"Uh no, not yet, I have a degree in computer sciences though."
"Ah no shit? That's… Rad man. You know there's a video game store a couple blocks from here that I think is hiring. You should check out there to hold out until you work for like, fuckin' NASA man."
We both paused unsure what to say next.
"You know I could just eat noodles nonstop."
"You got anything to drink?"
"Yeah man, there's a ton of shit in the fridge."
"Thanks."
I got up, walked to the fridge, then opened it.
"Hey, is this all beer?"
"For real man."
"Oh, I thought when you said you had a ton of stuff you meant, a large variety."
"No it's just, a lot of beer."
"You have anything that like, isn't beer?"
"You want something without alcohol, like what?"
"Like water."
He laughed.
"Oh yeah water! Sorry I haven't had a non-alcoholic drink in forever, it's been so long. Well th-there's tap water from the sink."
"it's alright never mind."
Silence. Again.
"So are you always like, drunk or baked or whatever?"
"Yeah."
"You're never sober?"
"Heh, no. You know how people can't remember what life was like before the internet came out? That's me with sobriety, and the munchies. Oh man you want some nachos?"
"Uh, sure."
"Oh man I love nachos. Wait never mind I'm out of nacho cheese. Hahaha, notchyo cheese, natchyo cheese, it's NATCHYO CHEESE, IT'S MY CHEESE, NATCHYO CHEESE, HAHAHA. Come on we're playing brawl. You got a lighter?"
Later that day…
I was coughing uncontrollably with Chad playing suber smash brothers brawl the house was filled with smoke.
Chad spoke up.
"We need more players. Do we know people?"
Still later….
Next thing I knew Pete was next to us on the couch.
"Of course peter picks snake as usual."
"WAS? (SO?)"
"This is you peter, you, NOW, CH CHICK POOF, NOW, CH CHICK POOF, NOW, CH CHICK POOF."
"asl hist si oui, al sni snuble, cob bet snoba, al sni snuble! (well this is you, you're too slow, c'mon step it up, you're too slow!)"
"Hey it's not funny or cool when you do it okay? You can't speak English!"
"abl winle fuplin! (Pick a fucking level!)"
"I am!"
"askel, fin destle, won oui anc sinp runa cab ort ikl a fuplin fgna! (Awesome, final destination, now you can spin around and run like a fucking faggot!)"
"I'm peter I don't speak English, I only speak covenant, arghhghlaalal."
Silence.
"This sucks, we need four players, do we know anymore people?"
"Uh, Oh I know."
Still later…..
Now we have a hobo with us isn't that just great.
"What is this?"
"It's a video game!"
"My thing won't work.
"Gotta press the on button. The one in the middle with the blue house on it."
"He's outta batteries, get some batteries! Peter."
"gow. (What?)"
"Get this guy some batteries from the kitchen."
"ol mag mel mufan meng doh toh. (Oh man I feel really crazy right now.)"
"Same man."
"Get some batteries peter I want to play this fucking game!"
"alo alo nero oh, bish. (alright alright hold on, shit .)"
"What's that smell?"
"Chad smokes."
"ey hwo's gonaw helws rea deesa? (Hey who's wagon wheels are these?)"
"They're mine, don't touch them!"
"We should just play until peter comes back."
"mi aetnig ouir gonaw hewls! (I'm eating your wagon wheels!)"
"Hey! Don't eat them!"
"chell doe rese, um ulm! (These are delicious, yum yummy!)"
There was a loud crash from the kitchen.
"The hell was that?"
"Someone go see."
The hobo got up and walked to the kitchen.
"I think peter's dead."
"The fuck? Dude he probably just passed out from all the smoke."
"Ha ha ha. Yeah."
"where's the phone? I have to call 911."
"What the fuck don't bring the 5-0 here the house is smoky as shit!"
"Dow ewer no wel fo shaf. (dude it feels like my brain has been in a washing machine.)"
"Never mind peter's not dead."
"as kief niroka. (I'm ordering pizza.)"
"Pizza number's written on the fridge, I'm not paying!"
"Dude let's just play."
"Yeah."
"Azu, sneb sib ya? (Hello, is this pizza?)"
"At seb sib? (Who is this?)"
"All shal ah gir buten. (Don't call here again.)"
"gop pew do sen der cook! (Go belly dive in to an ocean of cocks!)"
Peter came back.
"Who's that?"
"da ledl woul tle em ave pizel. (The lady wouldn't let me have pizza.)"
"What place did you call?"
"da numbl oln da cuotrn. (The number on the counter.)"
"The pizza numbers were on the fridge!"
"AW, DUDE YOU JUST CALLED MY MOM!"
"You told my mother to do a belly dive into a ocean of cocks!"
"Hahahehha."
"You know I think I'm gonna walk around the neighborhood maybe check out that video game store you were talking about."
"Oh, fuckin A man well good luck."
"Just take my controller peter."
"I sah suna kalt ka tof mer. (I was gonna take it anyway.)"
"You're such an asshole dude."
"ouir na saaloh! (You're an asshole!)"
"At least I don't have a SPLIT JAW!"
End of CH 5