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I Need You
Chapter 2
The nanny/housekeeper, Helen Reynolds, arrived ten minutes later and Jethro headed to work. Helen was a godsend especially with Ziva gone. She had worked for them since Ziva went back to work when Tali was three months old. She was a great cook and took care of Tali as if the child was her own granddaughter. The house was always spotless and his daughter was always happy when he came home so Jethro loved Miss Helen as much as Tali did. He knew she wondered about Ziva's absence but she had the good taste not to ask him about it. He did her the courtesy of telling her Ziva was in Israel on family business and would be back as soon as possible. As far as he knew, he wasn't lying to her. He certainly hoped not.
Fortunately, it was Friday and the team didn't catch a case so everyone concentrated on paperwork. Gibbs had two meetings with the director and when he came back to the bullpen after the second one he sent his agents home for the weekend. Tim McGee who had worked for Gibbs for over five years now headed down to the lab to get Abby. They were a couple now and were spending the weekend house hunting. Barbara Johnson was the newest team member having taken Ziva's place when she left the team to have Tali. She was a good addition; she got along well with everyone and was a very good investigator. She grabbed her gear and headed out as soon as Gibbs said they could go. Seems she had plans with a Marine major she was dating.
Gibbs' senior agent, Tony DiNozzo, uncharacteristically lagged behind. Normally the first one out of the office he lingered at his desk fiddling with his computer in an obvious attempt to be the last one in the bullpen. Gibbs looked at him and shook his head. He knew what was coming but he couldn't avoid it. Tony had worked for Gibbs for almost ten years and was as close to him as anyone except Ducky. He knew in his gut that something was wrong with the Boss and his beautiful, deadly wife.
"Boss, what's going on? Where's Ziva?"
"Israel. I told you that."
"Yeah, but that was weeks ago. Look, I know you're very careful with your personal life but come on. Why is she still gone? I mean how can she leave Tali here not to mention you?"
Gibbs looked at him and knew Tony was just trying to help. Tony and Ziva had been partners for a long time before she and Gibbs got together. They trusted each other completely and had saved one another's life any number of times. He knew her almost as well as Gibbs did. But, Tony was right, Gibbs guarded his personal life very closely. He didn't want to talk about Ziva with Tony or anyone else for that matter.
"I don't know what to tell you Tony. She's doing some work for her father I suspect. She'll be home when she's through."
"I don't mean to pry Boss, but is she staying in touch with you? You seem pretty down lately."
In a rare moment of weakness, Gibbs responded, "I haven't heard from her in over two weeks. I honestly don't have a clue what the hell she's doing or where she's doing it or for whom."
"Shit."
"That about covers it DiNozzo. Look, I know you want to help. This will work itself out. Ziva will be home because she loves Tali and won't leave her."
"She loves you too Boss. Don't ever think she doesn't."
"I'm not so sure about that one. But, like I said it will work out. Now you go on and have a good weekend. Don't worry about this, Tony."
Tony stood up and gathered his backpack. "You can be sure Boss. I know Ziva and she loves you. Maybe she's got something going with Eli right now but you and that little girl of yours are her life. She'll be back. I know it."
Gibbs sat at his desk for a few minutes thinking about what Tony had said. There was a time, months ago, when he would have said the same thing. Ziva loved him and Tali and their life together. Of that he had no doubt. Until….something changed and his beautiful, passionate, caring wife began drifting away from him. By the time he realized something was wrong Ziva had begun shutting him out and no matter how hard he tried or what he said, she wouldn't let him back in. Then, she announced almost a month ago she had to go to Israel to see her father. There had been no discussion, no compromise. She simply told him she was going and didn't know how long she would be gone. She cried when she kissed Tali goodbye but she simply kissed him on the cheek and said she'd call when she arrived.
She did call when she arrived and then again three days later but that was the last he heard from his wife. Of course he tried calling her almost every day for a week but could never find her. He finally called her father but again, he was told the Mossad director was unavailable, even to his son-in-law. Even to his only granddaughter. Gibbs had meant it this morning when he told Tali they would call her mother but he had no real expectation of success. He would call and if by some miracle he got Ziva on the phone, then he would let her talk to Tali but her wouldn't involve his little girl until her mother was on the line. It was hard enough for him to deal with the disappointment, he didn't want a three year old to have to do it too.
Gibbs looked at his watch and decided it was time to go home. He could give Helen an early evening; it was the least he could do for her considering all she had done for them in the past weeks. In the elevator, he was suddenly struck by a memory of Ziva kissing him one morning in this very elevator. It had been very early in their relationship and for some reason she had decided she had to have one more kiss before they resumed the façade they used at work back then. He remember how she had punched the stop button and backed him into the corner.
"Ziver, what's going on?"
"I need one more kiss before we go out there and pretend we aren't lovers. I need to feel you touch me one more time this morning."
"Just one? That all you need?"
"No, but that's all we really have time for so make it a good one."
As he remembered he'd made it a good one. Hell, every kiss with Ziva was a good one in his opinion. He shook his head and walked out into the parking garage and to his car. He wondered why he thought of that tonight. He rode in that elevator every day but he'd never thought about that kiss after that day. Maybe because until recently he was too busy getting new kisses to worry about ones he'd gotten years ago. Now he'd give almost anything in the world to have a kiss from his wife.
Walking in his front door, Jethro was greeted by the smell of Helen's homemade spaghetti sauce and a swiftly moving three year old. He dropped his bag and prepared to catch his daughter as she came flying down the hallway.
"Daddy home!"
Jethro scooped Tali into his arms and hugged her tight. He never tired of this particular greeting. It had been so many years between Kelly running to him and Tali doing it that he had come to accept it would not happen again. But then Ziva happened and his world turned on its axis. When Ziva first came into his life courtesy of his late boss, Jenny Sheppard, she was anything but welcome. She was replacing someone Jethro had loved like a daughter and who had died because Ziva's half brother wanted to make him suffer. Ari had accomplished that goal but in the end he too lost his life and Jethro's was spared; by Ziva. To say it was an unusual beginning to a relationship would be an understatement. Back then the relationship was all business and very little pleasure. That part took some time to develop. But develop it did and when they finally faced what was happening between them there was no stopping it and no turning back.
"You're home early Gibbs."
"I thought you might like to have an early evening yourself, Helen. Sure smells good in here."
"I know how you like my spaghetti. I made plenty for tonight and some for the freezer too."
"Thank you. You are a godsend. I don't know what Tali and I would do without you."
Helen looked at him with an appraising eye. She had grown to love this family and especially, Jethro. He reminded her of her oldest son who was an Army Ranger deployed in Afghanistan. She worried about him every day and lately she had been worried about Gibbs too.
"Tali, why don't you go upstairs and get that picture you colored for daddy today?"
Tali ran up the stairs to find her latest art work.
"While we have a minute tell me how you're doing Jethro."
"Okay I guess. It's not easy being a single parent that's for sure."
"No it isn't but that's not what I mean. You're a wonderful father and you manage Tali just fine by yourself. What I mean is what's happening with Ziva? I can tell by looking at you that you're not sleeping. You haven't heard from her have you?"
"No. Not in a while." Jethro scrubbed his hands over his face and sighed. "I wish I knew what was going on Helen. If I did I'd tell you."
"I don't want to pry, Jethro but I'm worried about you. I've come to care for you and your two girls and I hate seeing you so sad."
"Do you think Tali is picking up on my mood?" Jethro had tried his very best to always be upbeat and as normal as possible around his daughter but now he was wondering if he'd failed at that.
"I don't think so. She seems happy most of the time; her normal self. She does ask about her mom every now and then but not as much frankly as I'd expect. She talks about you all the time. You're doing fine in that department, Jethro, don't worry. But, I want you to take care of yourself and if you need a night to just let loose I will be happy to take Tali home with me to spend the night anytime."
"I might take you up on that some day. Thank you for your concern. All this will work itself out and Ziva will be home soon I hope. Now, go on and get out of here or you won't really have an early evening after all."
"Goodnight Jethro. Give Tali my love. I'll see you both on Monday morning."
Tali came into the kitchen with her new drawing and explained it to her daddy.
"It's a dog and a tree."
"I like it very much. Should we put it on the fridge?"
"Yes. I'm hungry."
"Okay, I'm getting the spaghetti ready. Can you get up in your chair please."
Tali climbed into her booster seat and she and her daddy had supper. Tali talked a mile a minute when she didn't have food in her mouth. Jethro made all the right responses even when he didn't have a clue what she was talking about. After supper Tali played in the living room while Jethro cleaned up the kitchen then he took her upstairs for a bath. Tali liked lots of bubbles and loved to play in the water so Jethro sat patiently on the toilet seat while she entertained herself for almost twenty minutes.
Jethro loved watching his daughter. She was the image of her mother with the same complexion and thick, curly black hair. She didn't look a thing like her father but he didn't care. He thought she was the most beautiful little girl on the planet and he didn't hesitate to tell her so. She was bright and sweet natured and could entertain herself with her toys or dolls for a long time. Tali had inherited her father's love of the outdoors and the water. She loved to go swimming but her favorite thing was to go sailing. She absolutely loved being on the boat with her mom and dad so they took her every chance they got.
After her bath, Tali snuggled into her daddy's lap in the rocking chair in her room and he read her three stories before she fell asleep. Jethro sat holding his sleeping angel for a long time that night. He had never compared Tali to Kelly but sometimes he remembered things he had done with Kelly and realized he was doing them again twenty years later with another precious daughter. At those times he always renewed his vow to keep Tali, and her mother, safe no matter what. Tonight he wondered how he was going to do that when he didn't even know where her mother was. If he thought about that too long he would get angry again so instead he focused on Tali and the sweetness and light she brought into his life. Finally, he kissed her on the forehead and laid her in her bed amidst all her stuffed animals.
Jethro decided to work on a bookcase he was building for Abby so he turned on the monitor on Tali's bedside table and took the receiver with him in case she woke up while he was in the basement where he couldn't hear her. Maybe losing himself in his project for a while would ease his mind and help him decide what he should do about Ziva. Not that he had all that many options. She didn't answer her cell phone and her father didn't take his calls. When Ziva left she told him only that her father had called saying he needed her help. That could mean anything from hunting down a terrorist to training a new body guard for him. It frustrated Jethro no end that Ziva had not explained what she was doing there when she called after she'd arrived. All she said was not to worry and she'd be home as soon as she could. That was the first call.
Three or four days later she had called again and said she'd be gone a bit longer that she first thought. The memory of that conversation played in Jethro's mind as he began measuring and cutting book shelves.
"What do you mean it will be a while? What are you doing for Eli that you can't come home to your own family?"
"It's not all about Eli. Jethro you know we have been at odds lately. I need some time."
"Time for what? What the hell are you saying Zi? We're in a rough patch but we've been there before. What about Tali? What about me? I love you Zi and I need you here. Your daughter needs you here."
"And I love you, both of you but something is wrong and I need to figure it out. You will be fine without me."
"Why can't you figure it out here with me? What do you mean something's wrong? Tell me what I've done Zi and I'll fix it."
"It's not anything you've done, Jethro. I can't explain it. I'm asking you to trust me and give me some time. I love you, you have to believe that. Please tell me you know that, Jethro."
"I know you do but you're scaring me Zi. I need you to come home. Whatever it is we can work it out together. Tali misses you. I miss you."
"I have to go. I'll call you when I can but it might be a while. I love you."
That was the end of the conversation. He had heard the tears in her voice and that had scared him almost as much as her words. She hung up then and Jethro had not heard from her again. When he called Eli a week later he was told the Mossad director was gone. The next time Jethro tried him he was unavailable and Jethro stopped trying. He had spent so much time trying to figure out what Ziva had been talking about he didn't sleep for three nights after she called. Finally he had to give up and focus on Tali and that is what he had been doing ever since. He had no idea when Ziva was coming home or what their situation would be when she did. He did know that every day she was gone it was getting harder and harder to ignore his anger and his fear.
After an hour in the basement Jethro gave up and went upstairs. He sat on the couch and stared at the television not seeing whatever was playing there. All he could see was Ziva. He missed her so much it made him ache for her. It was the truth that they had been having a rough time but they had weathered many storms together and he refused to accept that they couldn't get through whatever was wrong this time. Jethro knew he wasn't easy to live with; he had a history to prove that but Ziva was well aware of all that and loved him anyway. She was not the easiest person either but he wasn't bothered by her moods or her past. Their relationship was based first on a deep trust of one another and then on the passion that had burned between them from the time they met. That passion had been ignored by both of them for a very long time but eventually they had given in and Jethro had never regretted it. He was beginning to wonder if Ziva was having second thoughts. He didn't want to believe that because he couldn't face losing her and certainly not Tali. No, that wouldn't happen. Whatever it took he'd get Ziva home and they'd work it out.
Jethro finally turned off the television and went upstairs to bed. He would have just fallen asleep on the couch but too often Tali wound up in his bed in the early morning hours and if he wasn't there she would be confused and frightened. He checked to make sure she was still asleep then went to his own room, undressed and laid down. He probably wasn't going to sleep much but he closed is eyes anyway and let his mind wander to happier times. This is what he did most nights, at least when he wasn't exhausted from a twelve hour day and caring for a very active three year old. Tonight he drifted all the way back to the beginning; to the day he and Ziva finally admitted they wanted each other.
It was a cold, cloudy day in DC and the crime scene had been a difficult one. Nothing they hadn't seen before but just because you've seen a lot of dead bodies didn't mean a new one wasn't disturbing. Their dead petty officer had been left behind a bar and not in very good condition. It was too early in the morning really and none of them were in a good mood. Once the body had been removed and the scene processed they returned to the Navy Yard and got busy trying to find a lead. It hadn't taken as long as some cases so by the middle of the afternoon they were on their way to interview a potential suspect. Things definitely went downhill from there.
Arriving at the residence of their suspect, Gibbs sent Tony and Tim to check out the detached garage while he and Ziva approached the front door. With guns drawn, they stood on either side of the door and Ziva knocked announcing they were federal agents with a warrant. No response. Gibbs tried the door knob and finding it locked stepped back and kicked it in. Ziva went in first with Gibbs right behind her. They cleared the front rooms of the small house and were heading down the hallway to the kitchen area when their suspect jumped out of the bathroom doorway and slammed his fist into Ziva's face. As she fell to the floor, Gibbs swung his weapon around holding it mere inches from the attacker's face.
"Give me a reason, dirt bag."
The man simply raised his hands above his head as Ziva stumbled up holding the side of her face and moaning in pain. She leaned against the wall and Gibbs looked at her carefully.
"You okay?"
"Except for my face yes, I am fine."
Tony burst through the back door and saw the suspect cuffed and Ziva with a blossoming bruise on her cheekbone. "Damn, what happened?"
"He came out of the bathroom and slugged her. Get him out of here, DiNozzo before I slug him."
"Right Boss."
After the interrogation, the confession and the paperwork they all went home. Ziva had a nasty bruise but Ducky had pronounced her otherwise fine. He gave her an ice pack and she had used it on and off during the rest of the day so the swelling was at a minimum. As they all got into the elevator Tony suggested they go out for pizza and beer.
"I think I will go home. My face feels icky. Maybe next time, Tony."
An hour later Gibbs stood outside Ziva's apartment door working up the courage to knock. He told himself he was just checking on one of his agents because she had been injured and he wanted to make sure she was alright. In the next second he had to admit to himself that he had never gone to check up on Tony or McGee when they were hurt. He did want to make sure Ziva was okay but he knew there was more to it than that. What exactly more was he didn't understand. Finally he knocked and Ziva opened the door.
"Gibbs, what are you doing here?"
"Wanted to make sure you were okay."
She had obviously showered, her hair was damp and she smelled like some kind of flower or fruit or something else nice. She was wearing a pair of light blue cotton pajama pants and an NCIS sweatshirt. And, she had a very colorful, slightly swollen right cheekbone. Ziva moved aside to allow him to enter the apartment then she walked back toward the kitchen. Gibbs followed.
"I am fine. Just a bruise, it will be gone in a few days. Would you like something to drink?"
In her mind, Ziva was asking herself, what is he doing here? He had never come to check on her before. Is he looking at me funny or am I losing my mind?
Gibbs didn't answer. The two of them just stood in the small kitchen looking at each other. Neither of them knew what to do next. Gibbs took a step toward her and Ziva took a step back. She wasn't sure what was going on but she knew she had never seen him look at her in quite the way he was now. His eyes were maybe his best feature and right now they were completely focused on her face. The desire she saw there would have scared her if she wasn't pretty sure he could see the same thing in her eyes. He took another step toward her and since she was already against the counter she couldn't move back. Found she didn't want to anyway. Gibbs reached out and very gently touched her bruised face.
"Ziver." His voice was but a hoarse whisper and yet it melted her heart.
She grasped his wrist lightly and turned her face into his hand kissing his palm.
"Jethro." She never took her eyes off his so she saw the moment he realized what was happening. It was so clear and so powerful she could barely breathe for a moment.
"I want you Ziver." With that his hand slid around to the back of her head and he leaned down and kissed her.
It started out as a gentle, tentative kiss, lips barely touching, pulling away and touching again. Then she leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck and suddenly it wasn't tentative anymore. It was a kiss born of years of suppressed desire and need and ignored passion. It went on and on until finally he moved from her mouth to her throat so they could both catch their breath. But he couldn't stop himself, he had to kiss her again and again while he had the chance because he was fairly certain that any moment she was going to come to her senses and throw him out.
She didn't. Instead she pushed his jacket off and managed to get her hands under his shirt so she could enjoy the feel of his warm skin under her fingers. He began to undress her as best he could given his refusal to remove his mouth from hers for more than a few seconds at a time. When she began moving them away from the counter Jethro finally stopped and looked at her.
"I don't want you to stop. I just want to get somewhere more comfortable."
"Are you sure this is what you want? This is not just some one time thing for me, Ziva. You need to be sure."
"I have wanted you forever, Jethro. No, it isn't going to be just one time I promise you that. Once will definitely not be enough for me."
She was right. Once was not enough for either of them; that night or any other night after that. That night Ziva led him to her bedroom and they slowly and deliberately undressed each other. They had waited so long you would have thought they would be frantic to finally be together but instead, they savored their first experience of each other. Ziva made sure she touched every inch of him, finding the places where he was especially sensitive and memorizing the feel of him so when he wasn't with her she could comfort herself with the memories.
Jethro thought he had never seen so beautiful a woman and he wanted more than anything to please her. He also wanted to taste every little bit of her and that took some time. When she first stood before him completely naked and obviously wanting him he found it difficult to comprehend but nevertheless he accepted it. He reached out and gently touched her breasts, caressing them as he felt her hands pulling him closer until their bodies were touching in all the right places. When she pushed his boxers down and he felt her hand wrap around him he nearly stopped breathing.
"Make love to me Jethro."
She was kissing his chest and stroking his very firm dick and there was not a force on the planet that could have stopped him from granting her request. Jethro lowered her to the bed and settled beside her, kissing, stroking and tasting her from her mouth to her toes. When he finally entered her they were both so wired and so in need of one another it took but a few thrusts for them to climax together. When she had recovered her ability to move and breathe normally, Ziva took over and began her own very thorough exploration of the man she had been lusting after for what seemed like forever. She did things to him that Jethro had forgotten he liked and she made him feel like he had been reborn.
That was just the beginning; just the first night. After that night there was no one else for either of them. They managed to hide their relationship for about six months and then they told the director they were moving in together. They told the team next and once that was done things went on as usual. Work was work and their personal lives were something else. The two didn't mingle and it worked just fine for about a year. Then, Ziva got pregnant.
TBC