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I Need You

Chapter 5

Across the Atlantic Ziva closed her phone and stared out the window of the dingy hotel room she and Michael Rivkin had been sharing for the past ten days. She knew Michael was looking at her and thought he might even be talking to her but she couldn't focus on him. All she could hear was Jethro's voice telling her their daughter was hurt and then telling her their life together was over unless she stopped what she was doing right now and went home. She couldn't do that. And yet how could she not? She rubbed her hands over her face and looked at Michael finally acknowledging he was asking her what was going on.

Ziva told Michael what had happened. The two of them had been partners for years before Ziva left Israel to work at NCIS. They had once been lovers but that ended when she went to America and Michael now had a longstanding relationship with a beautiful, intelligent, loving woman in Haifa. They were very happy and Ziva was thrilled for them. Michael was someone she trusted and he felt the same about her. He knew her being on this mission was causing her problems at home but he respected her privacy and didn't pry for details. Now though things had changed. He worried Ziva would not be able to concentrate on the mission after hearing the news about her child. And the ultimatum from her husband.

"Ziva, maybe Agent Gibbs is right. You should go be with Tali. I can finish this myself."

"Do not be ridiculous, Michael. If this was a one man job we would not be here together. Tali is in a hospital getting the best care possible and Jethro will not leave her side. We can finish this mission in a few hours and then, I promise you, I will be on the first plane to the States."

"But what about his demand that you come now or not come at all?"

"He will calm down. He is just frightened about Tali and still angry at me for being gone so long. Jethro will understand about the mission when it is over and I can explain everything to him. Do not worry, we will be fine."

Ziva tried to sound sure of herself but she had her doubts. She had never heard Jethro so angry at her and she was afraid, because he rarely backed down, that he would not change his mind. She would worry about that later. Now she had to focus on the two terrorists she and Michael had tracked from Israel to Paris to London. If she screwed up now she or Michael could be killed and that would definitely not be good.

"We will make sure these two dirt bags are taken care of this evening and then I will go home. Right Michael?"

"Right Ziva."

They went about their planned routine and in two hours they were in place; waiting on their prey. The men they were hunting had killed many innocent people in Israel with their bombs and had almost killed Eli David several months ago. Tonight Ziva and Rivkin were going to put all that to an end. They were safely hidden outside the apartment the two men were using and when the men returned they would follow them into the apartment and kill them. They had planned this down to the minute and both were satisfied they would accomplish their mission tonight. Now all they had to do was wait.

Ziva took advantage of the waiting time to call Jethro. He didn't answer. Maybe he's in with Tali she told herself and didn't want to disturb her. Ziva decided to call Ducky.

"Hello, Dr. Mallard here."

"Ducky, it's Ziva."

"Oh, my dear how are you?"

"Fine. I called Jethro but he did not answer. How is Tali?"

"She came through the surgery very well. She had some internal bleeding, nothing too serious although serious enough. She is not awake yet which is a bit troubling but the doctors say they are not concerned yet."

"Not awake? You mean she is in a coma?"

"Well, yes my dear I'm afraid so. There does not appear to be any brain damage; no fractures or the like but still, she is not awake."

"Why? Was she in her car seat? What happened?"

"Yes, she was in the car seat. Otherwise I'm afraid it would have been much worse. They don't know why right now. She is doing fine by all other accounts, Ziva. I'm sure she will be alright."

"Ducky, how is Jethro handling this? He must be quite frightened for Tali."

"Yes, he is. He won't say so of course but I know he's thinking about Kelly. He hasn't left Tali's side since she came out of surgery."

"Ducky, he and I had a terrible conversation on the phone. He was very, very upset and said some things I am afraid he will…Anyway, please tell him I called and I love him and Tali very much. I should be able to leave here in less than six hours. I know it is not as soon as he wanted but it is the best I can do. Please, Ducky, make him understand I love him and I am sorry I cannot be there right now. Take care of him Ducky. I know he is scared."

"I will Ziva. I don't know what he said to you but remember he was very worried about Tali."

"I understand but I also know he rarely goes back on his word. I cannot think about that right now. If he will not tell Tali I love her will you please tell her for me?"

"Of course, my dear. But I'm sure Jethro will do so. Be safe Ziva."

"I will. Thank you Ducky."

As soon as she hung up she called her father in Tal Aviv.

"Father, I need a favor."

"Ziva what is wrong? You sound upset. Is everything going as planned?"

"With the mission yes. We should complete it in a few hours at the most. Father, Tali has been in an accident. She is in a coma. I need to get home as soon as Michael and I are finished tonight. Can you get me a plane?"

"Slow down Ziva. What kind of accident and how badly is Tali hurt?"

"I do not know much more than I have told you. It was a car wreck with her nanny. She has some internal injuries and had surgery which went fine. But she has not awakened. Dr. Mallard said they are not too worried but still…."

"You should go now, Ziva."

"No! Michael and I have worked too hard and are too close to completing our business here. Jethro is there and I will go as soon as we finish. Can you get me a plane?"

"Yes, a jet will be waiting for you at Heathrow in two hours. They will wait as long as they need to. I want you to call me when you and Michael are finished."

"Of course. Thank you father. Shalom."

"Be careful Ziva. Shalom."

Ziva filled Michael in on what Ducky had said and on the fact that her father was getting her a plane to get home. Then they settled down to wait.

An hour later Jethro's phone vibrated in his pocket. He answered without noticing the caller id.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

"Agent Gibbs, Eli David. How is Tali?"

"She's in a coma. Did Ziva call you?"

"Yes. What else can you tell me?"

Jethro wanted to say he could tell him as much as Eli had told him about where Ziva was but he knew that would not help anything. And, he knew Eli loved Tali.

"Her nanny was taking her home and a guy ran a stop sign and hit Tali's side of the car. She had some internal injuries and had surgery but that is all fine. She is in a coma. The doctors don't seem to know why. They think she will wake up pretty soon."

"I am sorry Jethro. I know this must be very difficult for you considering your loss of your first daughter. And, the fact that Ziva is not there. There will be a jet waiting for her as soon as she is finished with her business in London she will be on her way. I am sorry to have kept her away so long."

"Ziva makes her own choices, Eli. I don't agree with what she's been doing or at least the way she's gone about it. She needs to be here."

"I understand. She will be there as soon as possible. I would like to come myself when Tali is better, if you do not mind and if I can arrange it."

"You're welcome anytime Eli. Tali is your granddaughter after all. Thank you for calling. And thank you for the plane. Ziva or I will let you know when Tali wakes up. Good night."

"Thank you, Jethro. Shalom."

An hour later Jethro was sitting beside his daughter's hospital bed silently asking God to let her wake up. Tali was still in a coma and the doctors still told him she would most likely wake up on her own. They urged him to be patient. Not something he was particularly good at. Ducky came in the room and handed Jethro a cup of coffee.

"Thanks Duck."

"Any change?"

"No."

"Have you heard from Ziva?"

"No. Eli called. He has a plane standing by for her whenever she decides to come home." His voice was filled with bitterness and pain.

"Jethro, you are the last person I would expect to so easily disregard a mission in favor of personal interest. You have to know Ziva would be here if it was possible. Whatever she is doing is obviously important or she would not have gone in the first place."

"I can't believe you're defending her, Duck."

"Jethro, you and Ziva are two sides of the same coin. You are both fiercely loyal and dedicated to your jobs. You each want to protect the other and you both know nothing is guaranteed in this life. Do not jump to any conclusions and do not say things to her that you will regret. I am telling you this as someone who loves both of you. Give her the benefit of the doubt if that's what you want to call it but don't shut her out."

Jethro just rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. He was so damned worried about Ziva he could barely stand it. On top of that he was scared spitless about Tali. He felt so helpless and frustrated he wanted to hit something.

"I don't know what to do anymore Duck. I want my child to wake up and I want my wife home. But to be frank, Ziva is the one who has been shutting me out in the last few months. Maybe it's all tied to this mission but I worry that it's not."

"What do you mean shutting you out?"

"She seems to be spending more time working than at home. We used to spend all our free time together but lately we don't. I can't really explain it but I feel like something's wrong. I know she loves Tali but sometimes I wonder if she regrets getting tied down to a family."

"You can't be serious, Jethro. I have never seen Ziva happier than she has been since you two got together. It is obvious she adores Tali and I know she loves you. I don't believe she regrets being with you at all."

"Then why in the hell is she gone to Israel or London or wherever without even discussing it with me? Why doesn't she call to at least let me know she's alright?"

"Obviously I don't know the answers to those questions but when she gets home and Tali is better you need to sit down and talk about all this. You have to let her know what her being gone has meant to you. Will you be able to tell her that without blowing up?"

"I hope so. I don't want to lose her Duck but since I don't know what's causing our problem I don't know how to fix it."

"Talk to her and then listen to what she says. Maybe there is something going on she doesn't know how to tell you. Maybe she needs your support and doesn't know how to ask for it. Just give yourselves a chance Jethro, if there is something that needs fixing do it together."

"How could she just go off and leave Tali like she did? I would never have left Kelly if I hadn't had orders. Doesn't she understand her child needs her? I need her?"

"I'm quite sure she does but she also knows Tali has you and you are a very competent father. Have you told her how you feel? Not what you want but what you feel?"

"Probably not clearly enough. And Tali needs a mom too not just me."

"And she has one. Ziva has only been gone a few weeks Jethro. There are thousands of children waiting for a parent to come home from the war. Your own child waited for you to come home many times. I know this is somewhat different because of the secrecy involved but in many ways it is the same. You love Ziva, I know you do. So, I say again, don't say things in the heat of the moment that you will regret when things cool down."

"Too late."

"Oh dear. What have you done?"

"I told Ziva if she didn't come home right away she didn't need to come home at all."

Ducky looked at his friend and shook his head. He had known Jethro for such a long time and he had seen him through some difficult times. The joy of watching the blossoming of the relatonship between Jethro and Ziva had been wonderful. He knew they would have their moments; they were both very strong willed people, but he also knew they had a strong foundation on which to build a life together. When Tali came into their lives he had seen Jethro take a new lease on life.

"Well, that is certainly a strong statement. I assume you don't really mean that."

"I did when I said it. I know I can't keep Ziva away from Tali. Hell, I don't want to do that but I think Ziva needs to choose whether she wants to be with us or continue to do her father's bidding."

"Maybe you could give Ziva a chance to tell you what's she been doing and why. You know very well she loves you and Tali. But, she also loves her father and has a certain degree of loyalty to him, to Mossad and to Israel that you cannot expect her to ignore. What would you do for your father, Jethro?"

"Probably about anything he asked."

"So, let Ziva tell you what she's been doing. Let her see and hear what her being gone has meant for you. Then, maybe if there is a next time, she will be more open with you."

TBC