A/N: Thanks for the reviews and alerts or as we're calling them now, followings. Two more chapters after this one.

I Need You

Chapter 6

Jethro just nodded and went back to watching Tali. The hours slowly passed but nothing changed. He got up and moved around in the small room but refused to leave his daughter in case she woke up. He didn't want her to be alone when she did. Each of his team came by and offered their support. Tony brought a pizza and some decent coffee. While Abby was there Jethro took some time to walk outside and get some fresh air. He called his father and told him what was happening. Jack offered to come down but Jethro suggested he wait until Tali woke up. After about twenty minutes Jethro went back to Tali's room and continued his vigil. He sent Abby home and settled down for the night.

After everyone was gone, Jethro read Tali some stories and talked to her about everything he could think of. He told her how much he loved her and what they were going to do when she got well. He talked about Ziva and told her how much her mom loved her. There was no indication Tali heard him but Jethro knew on some level she was probably aware of his voice. He could vaguely remember being aware of people talking to him when he was unconscious after being shot or blown up so he kept talking even when it didn't seem to matter. Finally, about midnight Jethro crawled up onto the bed and fell asleep cradling his little girl close to his side.

Several hours later Ziva crept silently into the room and stood looking at her child snuggled up tightly with her daddy. The tears she had refused to shed since Jethro called could no longer be held at bay. She didn't even try to stop them she just stood there silently crying. Wiping her tears away Ziva stepped up close to the bed and carefully, so as not to startle him, laid her hand on Jethro's arm. Then she leaned down and kissed Tali on the forehead. Jethro opened his eyes to see his wife right there, right in front of his face, kissing Tali. Without thinking he reached for Ziva and pulled her to him. He kissed her and she wrapped her left arm around him in a tight hug. For a few minutes the little family stayed just like that; Tali and Jethro on the bed and Ziva leaning over them holding them close.

"I love you Jethro."

"I know you do. I love you Zi. I'm glad you're here."

Ziva stood back and looked at Tali. She stroked her daughter's face and brushed her fingers through the child's thick, curly hair.

"Tali, baby mommy is home. Time to wake up and let me see you. I love you Tali."

Jethro slipped off the bed and stood behind Ziva listening to her talk to their daughter. For the first time he noticed the bandage on her right forearm. He turned her around so he could look at her closely. There was an ugly bruise on her right cheekbone. He reached out and touched it gently with his finger tips.

"Anything else I need to know about Zi? Injuries I mean."

"No, just these two. I am fine, Jethro. Tell me what they are saying about Tali."

Ziva turned back to Tali and began rubbing her arm and gently touching her all over. Jethro told her what the doctor had last said to him. Ziva began talking to Tali again and Jethro stood watching and listening. He was sure Tali would wake up now that Ziva was back. Ziva sat down in the chair next to the bed and began singing a lullaby to Tali. Jethro stepped out of the room to stretch his legs and try to get his emotions in order.

Seeing Ziva for the first time in almost a month had been wonderful. He almost forgot he was angry with her. Watching her with Tali he knew he had no right to even threaten to keep her away. Now all he had to do was figure out how to get Ziva to talk to him and then keep his marriage from following the path all his others had taken. That would have to wait though because he was so tired tonight he could barely think straight and he wanted to save what little energy he had for Tali. Jethro realized he'd been wandering the hospital for almost an hour so he headed back to his daughter's room. As he got to the end of the hall his phone began vibrating and at the same time he saw two nurses going into Tali's room. He pulled the phone out but kept walking or rather sprinting to the room. The call was from Ziva so he ignored it and burst into the room.

"Daddy! Look, mommy came home."

Jethro stopped dead in his tracks and looked at his precious child awake and holding her arms out to him. He glanced over at Ziva who was on the far side of the bed tears streaming down her face as she smiled at him.

"Hey baby. I missed you."

Jethro carefully held Tali in his arms and kissed her cheek. The doctor walked in the room and the nurses quickly brought him up-to-date on Tali's waking up.

"Mrs. Gibbs, I'm glad you made it in time for this happy moment. Can you tell me how Tali woke up?"

"I was talking to her about her father and she began moving her hands and then her eyes fluttered open for just a moment. I thought she was going back to sleep so I leaned down and spoke directly to her telling her to wake up and she did."

"Did she recognize you right away?"

"Yes, she said hi mommy and smiled at me. It was the best sound and the best smile I have ever seen."

"I imagine it was. Agent Gibbs if you could lay Tali down I'd like to check her over and then we will leave you three alone."

Jethro carefully laid Tali back on the bed. The doctor did a quick exam of her breathing, listened to her heart and asked her a few simple questions. Tali answered everything perfectly.

"She appears to be fine. Of course she is still recovering from the surgery so she will need to stay here another day or maybe two. Dr. Thompson will evaluate that tomorrow. From a neurological standpoint she seems in good shape. Just let the nurses know if there are any changes. Congratulations."

"Thank you doctor."

The doctor and nurses left them finally and it was just the three of them in the room. Ziva sat on the side of the bed and leaned down to kiss Tali on the forehead.

"I am so glad you are better Tali. Mommy missed you very much. Were you a good girl for daddy while I was gone?"

"Sure. We had fun but I'm glad you came home. Is grandpa Eli better?"

Ziva looked over at Jethro and he just shrugged. "Yes, grandpa is fine now just like you. I think he wants to come visit soon. Would you like that?"

"Yeah, I hope he comes. I want to go home daddy."

"She sounds just like you Jethro."

"You can go home in a day or two. We have to wait for the doctor to say it's okay.

"Okay."

"Tali, daddy is going to go home for a while but mom will stay with you. Okay?"

"Okay. Can I have Beary?"

"Sure, I'll bring her back. And some stories?"

"Yes, stories."

Jethro kissed Tali goodbye and started for the door. Ziva stood up and told Tali she would be right back. She followed Jethro out into the hall.

"Jethro, please do not shut me out."

"Ziva, I'm just going home to take a shower. I've been here since the accident. I'm tired and I need some time."

Ziva reached for his hand and stopped him. "We need to talk I know that. I want to explain about this mission. Please give me a chance to make things right between us."

"It's not just the mission, Zi. It's the last few months. You are the one who has been shutting me out, pulling away from me. But, you're right, we need to talk. When Tali comes home we will make whatever time we need. I love you Ziva but I won't tolerate secrets between us."

"I know Jethro. I want to come home and have our life back."

"We can work on it. I need to go Zi. I'll be back before I go to work."

Jethro walked out of the hospital and realized it was almost dawn. He hated to leave Tali but he knew she was in good hands with her mom there. Besides he had told the truth when he said he needed some time. He needed time to think and decide what he wanted to say to Ziva. He knew he wanted her back home with them but somehow he had to make her understand what her leaving had meant.

When it came to catching bad guys and getting justice for the victims of horrible crimes Jethro had no equal. He wasn't afraid of anything he faced in the field. If the situation called for force he was willing to use it but he never did if it wasn't necessary. Agent Gibbs was legendary at NCIS for his team's closure rate and well as his unorthodox methods. He had driven more than one director to brink of early retirement.

For all his strengths as a Federal Agent, he had one glaring weakness in his personal life. Jethro was a man of action and not words. Somehow he had managed to persuade multiple women to marry him including of course, Ziva. He had definitely not TALKED them into marriage. He had other, much more effective methods of persuasion. Now though he knew he needed to be able to tell his wife how he felt when she was gone and what her keeping secrets from him had meant. He thought back to how he had kept the existence of Shannon and Kelly from his wives and friends for so long. With Ziva that had never been an issue because she knew about them when they met. He believed that secret had been the cause of his failed relationships beginning with Jenny and including all three of his ex-wives and several girlfriends. Secrets were definitely taboo in his mind and he would have thought Ziva knew that. Whatever her motivation he intended to be very clear with her that he couldn't abide by her keeping things from him in the future.

While Jethro was on his way home, Ziva sat with Tali and told her stories until she fell asleep. Ziva sat on the bed and watched her daughter sleep and said many prayers of thanks for Tali waking up and being alright. Knowing her child was going to be fine gave Ziva a chance to let her mind wander to the state of her marriage. She knew Jethro was hurt and angry about her being gone but more so for not telling him what was going on for the past few months. She wasn't sure how she was going to explain herself and more importantly what the outcome would be when she did. All she knew for sure was that she loved him with all her heart and wanted to be with him and their daughter.

She was exhausted and as she watched Tali sleep she found herself getting very drowsy. She laid down next to Tali holding her as Jethro had done earlier and soon she was fast asleep and dreaming about how wonderful it had been to discover Jethro loved her as much as she loved him and had wanted her almost as long she had him.

They had been secretly seeing each other for about a month when Jethro took her to his cabin in the mountains of West Virginia. After weeks of sneaking around and hiding their feelings at work it was a huge relief to be away from anyone who knew them. They could hold hands if they wanted to, kiss whenever they felt like it and let the love that was growing between them be on constant display. From the moment Jethro picked her up at her apartment that Friday night their time together was a dream come true for Ziva. Later she would come to understand it was the same for Jethro.

The rustic cabin Jethro owned was the perfect setting for a romantic getaway. They spent hours hiking and enjoying the beautiful weather that weekend. Of course they also spent hours making love and getting to know each other in the most intimate of ways. Ziva was not surprised by Jethro as a lover but was certainly delighted by him. While he was definitely a traditionalist in many aspects of his life he was very much open minded when it came to pleasing his lover and letting her please him. Sometimes he was so gentle and attentive to her it stopped her heart. Other times he had her struggling to take a breath as her heart raced and her mind turned to mush. As a lover, Special Agent Gibbs certainly surpassed all her expectations and put her old daydreams to shame.

Ziva had a few tricks of her own and she had reduced him to begging more than once that weekend. Saturday night she had some how gotten him to agree to let her undress him while he was not allowed to touch her. It had been the most exquisite torture for Jethro and a very definite turn on for Ziva. She had several candles burning when he came into the bedroom that night and she promised to rock his world if he could manage to keep his hands to himself until she gave him the okay to touch. He agreed and it was one of the most difficult things he had ever done.

Standing at the end of the bed, Jethro could smell the scent of Ziva's body lotion and knew from recent experience just how soft and smooth her skin would feel; if only he could touch her. Ziva was wearing a silky blue something and he longed to get her out of it. She began her torture by very slowly unbuttoning each button on his shirt and Jethro very quickly wished he had been wearing a sweatshirt instead. It would have been much quicker. After each button was undone Ziva leaned in and kissed the newly revealed skin. Once she was finished with the shirt buttons she spent a few minutes running her hands over his chest, kissing him there and finally nipping and licking his nipples. When he groaned and his hands began to move involuntarily Ziva threatened handcuffs so he managed to control himself-barely.

Finally she took his shirt off completely and tossed it on a chair. Then she turned him to face the mirror on the wall opposite the bed and slipped around behind him. She reached around his waist to unbutton and unzip his jeans. Very slowly she brought her hands away from his pants and ran her nail up his sides and across his chest while she dropped kisses all across his shoulders and back. When her hands came back down to his pants she carefully pushed his jeans down and had the delightful surprise of finding he was going commando.

"Surprised?"

"Yes, and very pleased as well."

"Standard practice on vacation. Just so you know."

"Then I look forward to many more vacations."

For what seemed to Jethro a very long time they stood there looking at each other in the mirror. He was definitely aroused and wanted her in the worst way but he was determined to let her have whatever she wanted tonight.

"Can you guess what I want now, Jethro?"

"Whatever it is Ziva I want you to have it but I warn you, I need to touch you pretty damn soon."

By the time he finished that sentence Ziva was on her knees in front of him and he had his hands in her hair holding on for dear life. The sensations she was creating were sending his system into overdrive and when he stole a glance in the mirror he knew image he saw there would stay with him forever.

"Damn Zi!" His breath was harsh and he could barely get her name out.

Ziva looked up at him, her tongue still swirling around his tip, "Yes, Jethro?"

"You better stop."

"Not yet. Hold on baby."

With that she took him in her mouth again and the blessed torture continued. Just when he thought he couldn't hold back a second longer Ziva replaced her mouth with her hand and backed him down just enough that he could gain some small measure of control. Then she stood up and pulled her negligee over her head letting it drop carelessly on the floor.

"Now you may touch me."

And he did. Somehow he resisted throwing her on the bed and ravishing her but he couldn't resist touching her, tasting her and marking her as his very own. Their lovemaking that night went on and on as they took each other to the brink and then backed off. By the time Jethro finally entered her and began driving them both to climax Ziva thought she was going to die of the need she had for him.

"I swear to god, Jethro if you don't…..Oh…yes, thank you god."

Jethro would have responded with some snarkey comment about her calling him god but he could barely think much less form a sentence, he was operating on pure instinct and need at that point. He had never wanted a woman as much as he did Ziva. It was so much more than wanting sex with her; he wanted everything with her, every inch of her delicious skin, every ounce of her strength and he wanted to give her all of himself. He tried to show her all that with his actions because he sure as hell didn't know how to tell her.

After that weekend alone it was even harder for them to keep their secret. Somehow they had managed for another five months although judging from the reactions they got from the team when they finally let them in on the situation, it wasn't as much a secret as they had hoped. And then just six short months later Ziva was pregnant and they faced their first real crisis together.

Tali began stirring and Ziva was immediately awake. She got off the bed and rubbed Tali's back until she settled back to sleep. Ziva went into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She hadn't slept much in the past week and she knew she looked a mess. She looked at her watch and saw it was four in the morning. Her internal clock was so messed up from all her traveling and the stress she wasn't sure what her body needed more, sleep or food or a shower. She decided on a shower so she got her pack and took it back into the bathroom with her and turned on the shower.

Standing under the hot spray Ziva contemplated what to do about Jethro. She knew she loved him and wanted to be with him forever. And of course she wanted to be with Tali. So what was the problem? Ziva knew she had been distancing herself from Jethro the last few months but she wasn't sure how to explain what she had been feeling. Their first year together had been wonderful and exciting and everything they did was a "first". Then most of their second year she was pregnant and they had struggled together through the initial difficulty of that and come out just fine. When Tali was born they were on cloud nine for months. Jethro was a wonderful support to her when she questioned her abilities as a mom. And, he was a very good father.

Ziva went back to work when Tali was four months old and Helen became their nanny and housekeeper at that point. Instead of going back on Jethro's team Ziva went back as a consultant and linguist so she did very little field work which pleased Jethro no end. It took her a while to get used to being in an office most of the day but Ziva was eventually very pleased with her new post. She spent a lot of time working with the director on overseas issues so she had her hand in a lot of interesting cases. When Jethro had a particularly difficult or complicated case he often asked her opinion so they still worked together on occasion. All in all her work life was going very well. The issues Ziva was struggling with were definitely personal, not professional.

Although very capable as an agent and field operative Ziva found she lacked confidence as a mother and sometimes even as a wife. All her life she had been devoted to a world of secrets and violence. Rarely was love part of her equation; especially after the deaths of her mother and little sister. When she and Jethro became a couple she learned what it meant to really love someone and to be loved in return. With Tali she realized an even more powerful, all encompassing love both for her child and in return from the child. Sometimes it still surprised her to be loved by these two people.

Feeling much better after a long hot shower Ziva sat by Tali's bed and counted her blessings as she watched her precious child sleeping. The shower had not only cleansed her body but somehow her mind as well. Maybe it was all the steam or maybe just the time to be quiet and let her mind be open but whatever it was Ziva knew what she needed to say to Jethro. She finally understood what she had been feeling for months and why she had been slowly pulling away from him. Now all she needed to do was get some alone time with him and try to make him understand.

TBC