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Chapter 8
Come home for Christmas.
The Eagles.
"Merry Christmas, beautiful-beautiful-girl." Edward breathed, stepping into the doorway and wrapping his arms around me.
I hummed, wrapping my own arms as tightly around his waist as I could. He chuckled into my hair, his warm breath sending chills through my entire body. I chose not to move, as I knew Rosalie and Emmett were bound to interrupt eventually. They had pretty much caught on to our secret relationship. I still felt awkward making out and being anything remotely similar to intimate in front of them. Edward seemed to catch my drift, moving to press his soft lips to mine.
Just as I had expected, the door was nearly knocked out of it's hinges by Emmett, only a few moments later. He came in, scaring both of us right out of each others arms. I wiped nervously at my lips, watching at Emmett walked over and pulled an extension cord out of the cabinet. I had forgotten that we were still in the foyer, where Edward had just came in the house.
"Okay, love-birds. The house is almost done. Be ready to go." Emmett laughed loudly, looking at my face as he exited out the front door, where he had come from.
"God, I don't know what I'm going to do with him." Edward spoke after a beat of silence, bulling me back to his chest. My head moved to rest against his chest, relaxing to the sound of his perfect beating heart.
I just smiled, holding him close to me. We were getting ready to leave, and go to Edward's mother's house. Charlie and Renee didn't even stick around for Thanksgiving dinner, claiming that they would be in Egypt for the rest of the holiday, and leaving me to eat with my new mom and Emmett. Edward, feeling guilty for leaving us to face her, immediately invited us to eat with his family for Christmas.
In private, he told me that he had planned for me to officially meet his parents that way. He also wanted to introduce me to his little sister, Alice. Of course, Emmett overheard and told Rosalie, which lead to a long discussion over some Ben and Jerry's in the kitchen. Rosalie wanted to know exactly what was going on, how long it had been, and what our 'intentions' were. I would have laughed at her, if I could have.
"Edward, son," Emmett had said with the most serious look on his face. I had sniggered, watching as he went as far to take Edward's hand into his. "We know that you young men have trouble with your urges, but you must share your intentions with our Bella with us."
I never thought that I would see the day that Edward would turn redder than me. The day had come and I found myself so enthused that I laughed out loud again. At first, he had only seemed even more embarrassed than before, his entire head resembling the red lights hanging on the mantle. But once my loud laughter settled in with him, he couldn't help but peel out into his own fit of giggles.
Which triggered even more of my own giggles.
I began shaking with laughter all over again at the thought. I had done so periodically since the incident. Edward already knew what I found so hysterical and pulled himself back from me, shaking his head. I loved that he always knew what was on my mind, even when it was something as trivial as a past conversation. I just shot him a smile and tried to hug him again, doing the best I could to change an unsaid conversation.
"Ah-ah-ah...you were thinking about that thing that Emmett did again, weren't you?" He asked and I rolled my eyes, nodding anyway.
"Bella! What about that has you so amused?" He looked completely serious and I felt my jaw drop. It was hilarious! That was what I found amusing.
It was so different! My brain screamed, trying to portray the words through my eyes. Nobody has ever tried to protect me, or make me laugh like that. Not in the brother/fatherly way that Emmett did. He just made it cute.
"You think that Emmett was being cute?" He scoffed and I rolled my eyes again.
Nobody was as cute as Edward. Cute didn't even begin to cover it. Edward was handsome, beautiful, sexy, smart, attractive, hot, charming, adorable, dazzling, and stunning. Eduardo era mucho guapisimo y perfecto! I couldn't help but smile at the thought that he could feel even remotely jealous...especially to my mother's husband! Good lord!
"I know, I know. I was just saying." He scoffed and his terrible acting gave him away immediately. I knew my Edward.
"Is your stuff packed?" He asked, looking around the room for my things. We had planned on leaving when he arrived, but Rose and Emmett were taking a bit longer than planned at their place. Not that I minded the little bit more of Edward time. I nodded, but shrugged my shoulder towards the door behind me. Behind the door was the stairs, and up the stairs was my room, and in my room was my suitcase.
Edward nodded, placing a sweet kiss on my forehead before excusing himself to go retrieve them for me. I waited patiently, and wasn't surprised when Rosalie and Emmett finally turned up together.
"Bella! It's done, Em got all the locks in. My house is officially safe for our weekend away." Rose smiled, brushing her hands together as if she had just worked in the dirt.
"Where's Eddie boy?" Emmett asked and I smiled at him and then nodded my head towards the stairs.
Edward returned shortly, my suitcase and carry-on with him. I quickly slipped my coat on, and then some gloves, before taking the smaller bag from his grip. He attempted to argue with me, but I ignored his pleas and followed Rosalie right out the door. Emmett immediately began laughing at Edward, but didn't take long to start an entire conversation.
Rosalie and I took the back seat, letting the men swim in their dumb pride. She immediately began jabbering on about how she couldn't wait to see Esme again. She was thrilled to spend the holidays with the Cullens. I could tell that even though she got married in Chicago, she still didn't have the most family-oriented holidays. I had no idea why, whether they both didn't have any up there, or if there was something holding her back. Whatever it was, it left her giddy like a small girl.
Edward and Emmett quickly got in the car as well. I watched as Emmett sat in the passenger seat, one of his hands reaching back to capture Rosalie's. It was a sweet moment, and I had to look away. I had gotten unused to feeling like a burden during small situations. Somehow, though Emmett and Rosalie had always been good at reversing that feeling, they had also been the best at enforcing it. Watching them be all lovey-dovey made me want to hold Edward's hand.
I glanced up and caught Edward's green-eyed gaze in the rear-view mirror. In an instant I knew that we felt the same. He hated having to act as if we weren't together. Putting our relationship on the down-low definitely wasn't something that I preferred. If it were up to me, I would shout my love for him to the entire world.
Love? My brain thought back and I couldn't hold his gaze any longer.
Did I love Edward? I had never been remotely close to in love with anyone. Not ever. I wasn't even sure that I knew what love was. All I knew was that I missed him so much that it hurt when he wasn't there. I worried about him. I wanted to know him, every bit of him, inside and out. I always wanted more of him. There was nothing wrong with him, in my eyes. When there was something wrong with him, I loved him for being human. I loved him.
I loved him.
I felt my face grow hot. It was one of those very few moments that I was happy that nobody could hear my thoughts. I was suddenly terrified that Edward would think I was too clingy. I didn't really know what he thought of me, just that he liked me a lot. I bit my bottom lip until it hurt, my eyes darting out the window to watch the snow that we were flying through.
"Something wrong, Bella?" Rosalie asked, and I turned to see her eyes full of concern. Her brow had come together, and her face very much resembled mine, from what I could see in the mirror.
I shook my head.
"Just let me know if you need anything." She offered and I nodded, turning to look back out the window. Only then, Edward had his eye on me.
It didn't take long for us to get to Carlisle and Esme's. Forks was small, but they did live on the outside of town. Rose and I lived on the outside of town as well, only it was the opposite side of town. I smiled at Edward as he rushed out, making sure to get my door and help me out. I was once again stunned by him as he kidded the mushy snow out of my path and asked me to wait for him. Just one second. I smiled as he went around to collect our bags.
Did he always have to be so gallant?
My eyes were trained on him as he returned and gestured for me to continue on up to the porch. His parents' house was beautiful. It was a three-story, white, Victorian style house with a veranda and a wrap-around porch. I was already in love with it, the way that it glowed in the snow and the trees. They had lights strung and I knew that it was probably a million times more beautiful at night time. I had never had Christmas lights on my house, I was happy to see them on my neighbor's every year. Edward urged me on, the others not too far behind us, and I found myself being the first one to get to the door.
Esme pulled it open before I could knock though, and I felt relief flush through me. I always dreaded knocking on doors. I feared that the person on the other side would wait for me to talk, when I couldn't. I should have known better though – it was Carlisle and Esme's house after all.
"Oh! Bella! Everyone!" She giggled, pushing the door open and holding for us as we climbed up the steps. "Come on in. I'm so happy you all could come!"
I smiled at her, nodding in thanks. Rosalie jumped in, giving Esme the words that I couldn't. I turned and began taking my heavy coat and gloves off. Edward got in with our things and began doing the same. I got a good look at the inside from there. It was beautiful, and everything was so festive. I loved the soft glow of the Christmas tree in their huge, white living-room. The house was beautiful. I just smiled and shook my head.
"Esme, your home is lovely." Rosalie breathed and Esme thanked her. I nodded quickly, trying to portray the same feelings. Esme walked over and pulled me into a hug.
"I've missed you, Miss Bella! How do you feel about making cookies for tomorrow night? You and Rose." She smiled, nodding her head towards Rosalie too.
"Where's dad?" Edward asked, glancing around. "And Alice."
"Alice will arrive in a few hours. She's bringing that fiance of hers, Edward. Your father is downstairs, watching the game. Go join him." She ushered both Edward and Emmett out, having them just leave the bags where they were. Esme turned to face us, clasping her hands together. "Now, time to get baking! Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and we need Santa cookies!"
"Uh, Em will probably just eat them all." Rosalie smirked at her and I giggled.
"That's alright," Esme said, her own smile playful. "I'm sure we can conjure up some extra."
Cooking with Esme was more relaxing than I could have imagined. I loved the way that she made me feel as if I were already a part of her family. She made sure that she split the conversation between Rosalie and I evenly, and that she made enough cookies. She was the perfect mother – I was almost jealous, until I remembered that I never even had a real mother.
And then I had two. An an Edward. And an Emmett. I even had Carlisle, a father in some ways. It was nice to have family. I was so used to spending all of my time in my room, reading and imagining the imaginary. Even if things weren't always perfect, I knew that they would always be good and loving in that family.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Esme asked me, passing me the green frosting. We were finished backing, and currently frosting all of the cookies at that point. I looked down at the little tree in front of me. I had just smeared it in green, and then added little red and blue dabs of icing all over it. With a grin, I reached for the yellow and painted the perfect star on it, using one of the fancy frosting-heads. I had almost forgotten that Esme was speaking to me.
My eyes finally found hers and I shrugged, not sure how to show her what I was thinking. How was a girl supposed to tell someone that she had everything she had ever wanted, without using any words? I pursed my lips and then shrugged again, still unsure.
"No words?" She asked and I nodded, smiling softly in her direction.
"Charlie and Renee were never holiday people," Rosalie spoke, surprising me. It was as if she had read my mind. "Growing up with me, even. They went all out on everything but the holidays. Sometimes they even went without a tree. There weren't any lights, or baking, or family time. No girl talk in the kitchen, or guys watching the football game. It was mom and dad at work, and Rosalie at home studying."
"What did you do on Christmas morning?" Esme looked curious, but also slightly shocked. I'm sure it was all very different to her. The lack of normalcy that was in my family.
"They would get me something...usually. Like, a new volleyball or a piano to practice on. It was never anything fun, or personal. Everything was by the books and very...impersonal. Charlie and Renee never really did more than they had to with me, when I think back to it. Even after I moved out...I was so busy with medical school that I didn't celebrate much. Emmett kind of forced Christmas down my throat though. He loves it. Bella loved it too, when she was a baby. I always got her something." She continued and Esme nodded, shooting me a small smile.
Rosalie sighed and kept talking, "what about you, Bella? I mean, did they just forgo the tree after I moved out?"
I nodded. There was nothing. I didn't get Christmas with Charlie and Renee.
"I hate them." She muttered, going back to her bloody-looking gingerbread girl. It was originally going to be in a red dress, but that red dress quickly turned into gingerbread Carrie, at prom.
"You don't hate them," Esme said with a sigh, trying to sound as if she disagreed with Rosalie.
"I do though. God. I left the most important thing in the world with them and they just locked it up and pretended like it didn't exist. They knew you meant everything to me, Bella. I honest-to-God thought that they would just raise you like they did me. It wasn't the best, but they had more money. A roof. Careers. That was a lot more than a pair of heels and the curling iron that I hardly owned. I'm sorry though. I really am."
"Stop apologizing." The words came out of my mouth without warning me. They were more stern than any of the other times I had spoken. Still soft, but definitely promising. I felt my eyes grow wide. I quickly tried to say something else, but nothing else followed. The room was silent, and I watched as Rosalie's eyes began to tear up. I shook my head at her, trying to get her to understand.
I hated that she spent so much time dwelling on her decision. Maybe it had been the right choice. Maybe Edward was brought into my life for more than just my enjoyment and mental-health. He was the one who called Rosalie, who was late to pick me up, leaving me to get hit by a car. None of that was his fault, just like none of that was Rose's. The only people who were to blame were Charlie and Renee.
And they had left both of us behind when they realized that.
I didn't have time to process much else before Rosalie had ran around and wrapped her arms around me. She sure was a hugger those days. She was always hugging me, or holding my hand, or just trying to be around me. As if she were making up for the ten years that she had missed. I didn't mind. I had never had a mother figure, or a sister one, and it was nice to pretend that it was all normal for a while.
"You sure have a pretty voice, Bella. You're getting good about it too. One of these days you will talk. I know it." Esme smiled, holding up her Santa Claus cookie.
"It's beautiful," Rosalie commented, and we all giggled. Esme's Santa was a train-wreck, but he did look like Santa.
The doorbell rang, chiming through the entire house. Esme squealed something about Alice before running out and to the foyer. I just shook my head, smiling at Rosalie, who had finally moved back to her seat, only she took the one next to me instead of across from me that time. I didn't really care where she sat, just as long as I didn't have to face the 'Alice' alone.
"Where's mom?" Emmett walked in, his eyes looking for Esme.
"Mom?" Rosalie giggled. "Mom is greeting Alice."
"So...can I have a cookie?" He jutted his bottom lip out, pouting like a child.
"No! Back off!" Rosalie giggled, standing to go check up on Esme. As soon as she was gone, I picked up my Christmas tree cookie and held it out to him. He lit up, as if he were a Christmas tree himself, and ran over to take it. It was in his mouth and chewed up so fast that I could hardly believe that he didn't just throw it somewhere.
Rosalie walked back in, her eyes skeptical.
"Edward is in the other room...Bella. Emmett, honey, are you feeling okay?" She cocked her head to the side and I could tell that she knew.
"She's onto us!" He spoke, crumbs flying out of his mouth. I laughed and watched as he ran out. "You'll never catch me alive, coppers!"
"Alice!" Edward's voice exclaimed from the other room and I felt a smile grow on my face. Just the sound of his voice made me feel better. More comfortable.
"Edward! How are you?" She squealed, and I wondered if she was always like that. Bubbly and loud.
"I'm fantastic. How have you been?" He asked and I relaxed a bit. I relaxed too soon though, because he wasn't done talking. He called out, "Bella! Come here for a second. I have someone I want you to meet!"
Slowly, I stood and walked back to the foyer with Rosalie. She kept an arm securely wrapped around my shoulders, taking slow steps for my benefit. When we walked in, my eyes scanned over the room. I found Edward, Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme immediately. I didn't know the girl standing with Edward, but the smile on her face mad me feel a bit less nervous. She giggled and grabbed Edward's arm, asking him who I was.
"Alice, I would like you to meet my beautiful girlfriend, Bella Swan. Bella, this is my crazy little sister, Alice." He gestured towards the girl, and upon approach, I realized that she was tiny.
"Oh, Bella! You are wearing Gucci! I like her already!" Alice nearly knocked me out of the way, pulling Rosalie into her arms. Emmett went into guffaws, walking over and wrapping his arm around me.
"And this is my hot wife, Rosalie!" He winked at her and Edward rolled his eyes.
"Alice, if you would get off of her, I would like to tell you that you're hugging Bella's mother, Rosalie." Edward coughed and Alice froze, pulling back. She was laughing as she turned and looked at me.
"I'm so sorry! Gosh! You're beautiful, too!" She exclaimed, holding her arms out for me. After she pulled back, she glanced at Edward, and then back at me. "I'm Alice, Edward's sister. I have to say, I was very excited. Edward has never brought a girl home to us before!"
I nodded, feeling my face grow warm as I took in Alice. She was several inches shorter than my five-foot-four glory. Her hair was chin-length, a very dark brown, which only made her ice-blues stand out even more. She was gorgeous. The girl even went as far to dress in what looked like designer clothing. If it weren't for her open-arms, I would have felt completely inferior to her.
"You can talk to me, you know. I won't bite." She teased, backing up to give me more space. I shook my head at her.
"Bella is a mute, Ali." Edward cut in, wrapping his arm around my waist.
"Ooh! How dramatic!" She gushed and winked at me. I shrugged again, not sure how to respond to the pixie-like girl. Alice was apparently the female version of Emmett.
"Alice, honey, why don't you go help Jasper in?" Esme asked, walking over to hold the door open. I looked over to see a tall, practically lanky, blond man dragging some suitcases into the house. Alice squealed, running over to give him an extra hand. Edward was on her tail, taking the largest one off of his back.
"I see some things never change." Carlisle commented, taking over at the door, letting Esme into the house.
"Alice loves clothing," Esme spoke to me now, a smile on her face. "She owns an entire shop. It's called Fairy Fashion."
How fitting. I mused to myself, eyeing the guy that was removing his snow-clothes. He was so much taller than Alice, about Emmett's height. His hair was blond, and wavy. I watched as he grinned at Alice again, his crooked grin soothing. It seemed to calm her immediately, making me smile to myself. They were perfect together. The charming gentleman and his pixie.
"How fitting." Rosalie spoke for me, speaking my exact thoughts somehow.
"Alright." Edward yawned, walking over and picking up our suitcases. "Now that everyone has made an appearance and greeted one another, I think I'm going to head up to bed. Want to come with me, Bella? I'm excited to show you my room."
I nodded, quickly walking over to him. I froze though, before following him to the stairs. I quickly ran over and hugged Rosalie and Emmett, mouthing goodnight to them. Rosalie just smiled and hugged me back, wishing me sweet dreams. Emmett told me to come and get him if Edward decided to be a little to handsy. I just laughed, rolling my eyes at him, and turned to follow my Edward up the stairs.
"She's so sweet, Mom!" Alice giggled and I wondered if she thought that I was already out of earshot. "And beautiful! I had a hard time believing that she was with Edward, and not you Rosalie. She seems a little bit...young? I dont' know. I never saw him playing cradle-cops-and-robbers."
"Nah, she's only four years younger than him. And if you promise not to tell, i'm actually about twelve years old than him." Rosalie's voice was practically soothing, comforting me from afar. I trusted that she would stand up for Edward and I.
"Why doesn't she talk?" Alice asked then and I felt myself cringe into Edward's side.
"Don't listen to them." He whispered, leading me to a second staircase. "Alice is just curious. I promise that she would never judge us, as long as we're happy."
I nodded at him, trusting him as much as I did Rose.
When we got up to the third floor, Edward pointed out the bathroom, as it was the only other room, and then led me to the door at the end of the hall. I smiled at the wooden cross on the front of it, gently running my finger down the smooth front of it. It looked so antique, and beautiful. He was watching me, I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't care. I felt so at home with him. Like it was okay to be curious.
"It was Carlisle's...and an heirloom for him. Apparently it has been passed down for many generations. He wanted me to have it as well." He explained and I nodded, smiling up at him. Edward just grinned and then slowly continued. "Maybe, if we ever move in together, I can hang it up in our house?"
Move in together? I felt my eyes grow wide at the thought. I had thought about it, but I never in a million years would have believed that Edward had. He seemed to pause next to me, waiting for a reaction from me. I knew that I couldn't console him the way that I wanted to, so, instead of using words, I turned and wrapped my arms around his waist.
I could have strangled him with how much strength I put into the hug. He laughed softly and returned the hug, only not quite so roughly. I couldn't help it. I couldn't move. I needed the moment of closeness.
"You know, as much as I love hugging you, Bella." Edward pressed his lips to the top of my head as he said this. "It would be nice to lay down for a while. I'm getting a bit sleepier than I'd like to admit."
I felt my neck grow warm, spreading the blush all the way to my face. Edward laughed, giving me a quick peck on the lips, and then pushed his bedroom door open. I nodded to him in thanks, stepping into the room.
Edward hadn't flicked the lights on yet, but he didn't totally need to. My eyes took in the ginormous window. I could hardly consider it a window. The entire west wall was made of glass. I bit my bottom lip, stepping into the room. I could see out and over the forest. The redwood trees were all tall, and drowning in snow and moonlight. The reflection of it all was lighting up Edward's room with a nice glow. Taking in a deep breath, I turned my gaze away and took in the bedroom.
Edward had many things, but at the same time, not too many. His bed was huge – king-sized. I blushed when my mind wandered to the room on the bed, for both of us. My eyes quickly flickered to the wall of CD's. In the middle of the wall-sized shelf was a giant, high-tech stereo. I was astounded. The entire room fit the soft gold of the carpet. The bed was made of what looked like black iron, and covering it was a deep golden comforter. I was in love with it. The room was the most beautiful room that I had ever been in.
"Here," Edward whispered, turning to plug something in. I looked up in awe as twinkle lights, which he had strung all around where the walls met the ceiling, lit up softly. They were red and green, fitting the holiday, and made everything seem even more cozier. I was in love with his room.
It was perfect.
"It's perfect." I breathed, speaking for the second time that night. Edward grinned widely, walking over and wrapping his arms around me.
"You spoke, Bella. Can you do it again?" He ran his fingers through my hair, his glowing green eyes all but devouring my face.
It was hard to concentrate on anything when he was looking at me like that. So, instead of wasting my time trying, I stood on my tip-toes and pressed my lips to his. He didn't seem to mind, taking me in as well.
"Well," he spoke between the slight pant that he had worked up while kissing me. "We really should go to bed, Bella."
I pouted playfully and watched as he chuckled, tucking my loose hair behind my ears. He took my hand and led me to the bathroom, showing me where he kept everything. I took it all in, happy to know such a large chunk of his life. Even if the details were as small as where he kept his shampoo after he took a shower. After he showed me, he took me back to his room and opened the top drawer of his dresser, I looked in, surprised to find nothing in there.
"This can be yours." He looked almost nervous, his eyes on my hands, which were placed on the edge of the drawer. "If you want, I mean."
I bumped my hips into his, trying to get him to smile and let go a little. If I wasn't allowed to be awkward in his presence, then the rule had to reciprocate. I liked my playful Edward a lot more than Mr. Brood that I tended to get at times.
"Sorry," he spoke again, his voice a bit more open. "This is yours. You can unpack, and I'll go change quickly. You can have the bathroom after me."
I nodded at him, watching him go to his walk-in closet and take out what he needed. He disappeared into the bathroom, leaving me to my own things. Without much thoguht, I proceeded to turn on the light and pull out the suitcase that we decided to share. My things were already folded, so it didn't take long for me to place them into the drawer and find my pajamas. He returned very shortly.
I felt my breath go short at the sight of him. He was wearing nothing more than a pair of red and green, flannel pants. The last thing on my mind was his pants. My eyes drifted up and to his perfectly sculpted chest. It looked pale, matching my own, in the glow of the moonlight. I sighed softly, moving closer to him and resting my hands on his hips. I no longer had any thought processing, I concluded as I leaned in to kiss him firmly on the lips.
Look at you, I thought to myself. Call me Miss Forward Swan.
I pulled back and smiled at him, proud of myself for being so outgoing. He just grinned at me, shaking his head as he moved to pull the covers of his bed back. I grabbed my pajamas and made my way to his bathroom. I walked in, and looked in the mirror, smiling at the sight of my pink cheeks. I had never liked my blush, up until I met Edward.
That was when my eyes caught the pale yellow Post-it note on the mirror. I looked around, as if I were being watched, and then curiously pulled it off to look at it. I felt my heart skip a beat when I realized that it was a note.
A note to me.
Beautiful Bella,
Look up, and then look back.
See that beautiful face in the mirror?
It means everything to me.
Love,
Edward.
I couldn't seem to fight off the smiles after reading it. Love. Love. My mind wondered about what he meant by that as I slipped on my pajamas. I knew that guys were usually pretty straight-forward, but I wasn't sure if that was just the common thing to write at the end of a letter, or if he loved me. I placed it back on the mirror, taking another one off of the pad in the drawer and drawing a heart on it. I placed it next to his, smiling to myself.
I looked down at my pajamas. I never had super nice pajamas. What I had was what I had bought with my own money, as Renee didn't want to spend any more than necessary on me. Instead of wearing Christmas themed, cutey clothes, I found myself in a pair of ratty sweats and a tattered t-shirt from freshman year.
I sighed, wishing that I had thought to pack some decent pajamas. I knew I was going to be rooming with Edward, because they only had one guest-room, for Rose and Em, but I hadn't considered actually having to see him at night.
I attempted to bring the courage that I had used earlier as I made my way out and to his room. I dumped my dirty clothes in my suitcase before walking over and sitting down on the bed. He had shut the light off and seemed to be in a daze, his eyes looking out the window, and over the snowy horizon. I took my chance to get under the covers. After I was settled, I moved so that I could lay down and relax a bit.
"I tried laying on that side, so that you could have the view...but my OCD stopped me." Edward chuckled, suddenly turning to face me. I just shook my head, mentally promising that I didn't care which side I had.
"The lighting makes you look almost like a doll." He murmured, his eyes scanning over my face. "You're beautiful, Bella."
I felt my face grow warm. I placed my hand on his upper bicep, rubbing it comfortingly. I knew that I wouldn't have words to say even if I could speak.
"Come here," he spoke again, holding his arms open for me. I scooted closer and wrapped my limbs comfortingly around him. Our legs tangled together, making a mess underneath the covers, but I didn't care. I just wanted to be close to him.
"Merry Christmas, beautiful." He whispered before the humming began. I didn't recognize the tune, but it reminded me of a lullaby. It was beautiful and practically dragged me into dreamland.
When I opened my eyes, I was happy to find that Edward was still spooning me. I relaxed into him, letting my thoughts take over. I was a bit surprised that he was willing to. I always read and heard that guys hated stuff like that. That they preferred their space at night, and that no girl is worth breathing through hair and letting your arm go to sleep.
Edward moved suddenly, pulling me closer to his chest. I smiled and scooted so that I turn my neck and look at his face. One of his eyes popped open, meeting mine. Slowly, a grin spread across his cheeks, his single dimple showing. I craned my neck until it hurt, pressing my lips to his dimple and then pulling back with a breathless laugh.
"You, Miss Swan, will be the death of me." He turned us over so that I was on my back and he was resting above me, using his elbows as leverage. "You still look beautiful, even after sleeping."
I rolled my eyes, keeping my mouth firmly shut. I did not need him to catch a drift of my morning breath. Another short instance where I was happy that silence was expected of me. He leaned in to kiss me, and I turned my head away without even thinking about it. He pulled back, his eyes confused and almost hurt.
I covered my mouth with my hand for a moment before acting like I was brushing my teeth. He nodded, looking away as if he had caught on. And then, before I could process it, he swooped down and kissed me anyway. I giggled, pushing gently on his chest. He pulled back and kissed me on the forehead.
"You know, it's a bit silly that you were worried about your own morning breath, beautiful. You should have been worried about mine!" He rolled over and off of the bed, leaving me to catch my breath. I watched as he sauntered to the bathroom and pushed the door to, but not totally shut. After I heard the toilet flush and the water run, I knew that he was at the sink.
I walked over and knocked on the door. He called out, letting me come in. I walked in to find him putting paste on his toothbrush. I gave him a sheepish smile, pulling mine from the bag of toiletries that I had left on the counter the night before. He put the paste on my brush for me, and I couldn't help but grin as I began brushing my teeth with him.
It was so natural to do the little things with Edward. It was as if we had been together for all our lives. He hummed playfully, the tune jingle bells coming from behind his foamy mouth. I giggled and began dancing along with the tune. There was a knock on the door that led the hallway. Causing us to pause our games and pull it open.
"Oh!" Rosalie laughed, taking in our attire and current activity. "I was sent up to see if you two were ready for breakfast...Esme made Holiday pancakes."
Edward quickly turned over to the sink and spit, and then turned back to Rosalie. "We'll be down in a moment. Thanks for the memo. Mom's pancakes are the best."
"Right...well...keep your clothes on." She shot us an awkward thumbs up, and a smile, before turning to practically run down the stairs. I noticed that she left the door open and shot a few glances over her shoulder at us. Once it all clicked in my head, I couldn't help but laugh.
It seemed that she just couldn't help but play the mom card.
"Hold on," Edward said with a chuckle before disappearing back into his room. I quickly pulled my hair back and rinsed my mouth out. When he got back he gave me a light tug on my ponytail and told me that he was ready to eat if I was. I just nodded, smiling at him. We got to the top of the first flight of stairs when Edward stopped me again. "No more morning breath?"
I shook my head.
He quickly ducked down and kissed me chastely on the lips.
"Good. So I can kiss you without protest now?" He winked at me, taking my hand in his and leading me down the stairs. My face was growing warmer by the second, and I found myself staring at my feet when we entered the kitchen.
"Well, it's about time!" Emmett kidded and everyone laughed together. I just grew warmer, letting Edward pull my chair out for me.
"Nobody told us not to sleep in," Edward answered quickly.
"Oh, so you were up late last night, were you?" Alice raised both of her eyebrows, tilting her chin down so that she could give us the 'if you know what I mean' face. I let a laugh loose, even through all of the embarrassment.
"Not like that, you stinker." Edward rolled his eyes and I just shook my head, grinning.
"Good, because I haven't even been called mom more than once. I'm so not ready to be called Grandma." Rosalie surprised all of us. I couldn't help but giggle at that. Rosalie McCarty, Grandma at age thirty-four. Poor woman.
"Okay guys, no more sex-talking." Edward grumbled, helping me reach the plate of green and red pancakes. I began putting a few on my plate before grabbing the syrup and caking them in it. Edward snatched it from my hand, making a joke about me getting cavities before putting even more of it on his own.
"So, Bella, have you enjoyed your first night at Hotel Cullen?" Alice asked, taking a small bite out of her six pancakes. How is she so small? I thought to myself as I nodded at her.
"I hanged up my Christmas lights in my room," Edward spoke, looking at his mother, who was just smiling at everyone. "It made everything look even more festive and soft."
I nodded. His room was beautiful.
I watched as everyone began conversing. If it weren't for Edward stopping to ask me random questions, I would have felt completely left out. Instead I only felt half left out. There was also a part of me that was happy. It was my first Christmas Eve with a full, happy family seated around me. We were eating decorative pancakes and wearing our messy pajamas. I had never been so happy all the while feeling left out before.
I watched as Edward joked with his mother. Carlisle and Emmett seemed to be in a deep conversation about getting Emmett onto the police force in town. Rosalie and Alice were, of course, discussing fashion. I looked up to find myself face-to-face with Jasper. He seemed just as surprised by the closeness of the family, as his blue eyes drifted around almost nervously.
I had the urge to make conversation with the poor guy. I was just as overwhelmed as he was. His eyes flashed to mine and then he shot me a smile.
"So, Bella, how long have you known Edward?" He asked me, surprising me with his slight southern drawl.
I held up four fingers and then mouthed the word 'months'. He caught on quickly, repeating it back to me and grinning.
"Alice and I met about four months ago as well! In her shop. I had to buy something for my human sociology class, and that was when I ran into her." He explained and I nodded, not surprised. I was surprised about how well they hit it off. Opposites must attract. I thought to myself, smiling at him.
"Jasper is a psychiatrist, Bella." Alice smiled at me, almost encouragingly. I gave her a funny look, trying to understand. She suddenly lit up and looked at Jasper. "Maybe you can figure out what's wrong with Bella!"
What was wrong with me? I felt my face grow warm as everyone suddenly silenced, and locked their eyes on me. So, what? Even good people had to assume that I was mentally ill? I stood hastily, turning to squeeze Edward's shoulder before running out of the room. I didn't run far, as it was ice-cold outside, but I did find myself sitting at the top of the staircase.
And that was when all hell broke loose in the dining room. I wondered if they knew that sound traveled magnificently in that house.
"What the hell is the matter with you, Alice?" Edward bellowed at the exact same time that Rosalie hissed at her.
"I didn't mean it like that!" She cried back, and I shook my head. She didn't mean to say it, but what else was new? "I just thought that maybe he could help her, or something. I didn't mean that she was sick, or something!"
"Alice, honey, that was a very...insensitive way to put it." Esme's voice was a bit more hushed, but I could hear them all loud and clear.
"I'll be right back." Edward muttered, and I heard two chairs scrape against the tile in there. I ducked my head into my legs, covering up what I'm sure was a very blotchy and bloodshot face. I didn't want him to see me like that.
"Maybe she just doesn't like to talk," I heard Jasper sigh and I shook my head. I would have loved to talk. There was definitely something wrong...it just wasn't my fault, like everyone else proposed. It was Renee and Charlie. I just didn't know what to do. I was probably smarter than everyone in that room, other than Rosalie and Carlisle. It wasn't fair.
"Bella?" Edward's voice called and I heard the door shut. I couldn't call back, so I just waited for him. I heard him gasp, when he got to the bottom of the staircase. He ran up the steps lithely, finding himself seated next to me. "Bella...she didn't mean it like that. She just doesn't know you. She doesn't understand yet."
I just shook my head, my small tears turning into full-blown sobs.
"Shh." He shushed me, wrapping his arms around me, practically swaddling me. I had a hard time controlling my volume as he rocked me back and forth. He just kept whispering sweet-nothings to me, promising that he was there and that he knew that I was fine. I knew that I was fine. I just hated that even his sister jumped to stupid conclusions. She didn't know me and she hadn't tried. "Bella, please don't cry. Alice's opinion isn't worth that much to anyone. Not enough to see you in tears, beautiful girl."
"Bella." He huffed, pulling me into his lap. "You're talking more everyday. There's nothing wrong with you, and nobody thinks that there is. Don't cry. Please. You're going to make me cry! I hate seeing you hurt." He pleaded with me. The next thing I knew, he covered his face and began to pretend cry. I felt my jaw drop. My hand found its way to his shoulder, where I smacked him for being such a crazy goof. He sighed, pulling his hands away so that they could rest on my hips. "Bella, don't cry. There's nothing wrong with you. There's no reason to cry over this. Alice is sorry, and she even said that she doesn't mean it like that."
I nodded, swiping at my eyes. I carefully climbed off of his lap and then turned to go back to his room. I gestured to my clothes, telling him that I was going to go get dressed. He nodded and kissed my cheek before letting me go.
When I arrived in his room, I found myself looking out and over the forest again. It was so beautiful, even in the sunlight. It didn't have quite the view from the dining-room. From up there you could see it all. I shook my head, smiling as I turned to find something comfortable to wear for my day with the Cullens.
I found a pair of jeans and a red and green striped sweater to wear with them. It wasn't the nicest outfit, but I hadn't really packed very formal clothing. I became entranced with the forest out back again when I walked out of the bathroom. During my daze, I began brushing my hair out and french-braiding it. I didn't get up when I was done.
"Bella?" Rosalie was calling out this time. She knocked twice before peeking her head in. I heard a soft sigh and the door closed. The next thing I knew, Rosalie was seated next to me, her arms crossed. "Bella...how are you feeling?"
I shrugged.
"I'm sorry Alice said that. She really didn't mean it that way. She knows you're just like everyone else. She just doesn't understand it to that extent yet." She explained what Edward had told me all over again.
I just shook my head again.
"You look pretty today," she spoke again, changing the subject. "I like your sweater."
I didn't respond.
"Edward said that you were going to come back down..." She seemed awkward, like when we first began talking again. I just looked down at my hands, suddenly feeling bad for ruining everyone's morning. I didn't mean to act out so dramatically...Alice's words just struck a nerve. She wasn't even half as bad as the kids at school. That didn't make me feel any better, as I had five more months of school to go.
I just let a gush of air release from my lungs, and I slouched into Rose's side, my head resting on her shoulder. She wrapped an arm tightly around my shoulders and rested her own head on mine.
"We don't have to go back just yet." She whispered and then paused for a moment. "Edward said that the girls at school have been bothering you like this...only worse."
I nodded once.
"Why didn't you find a way to tell me, Bella?"
I looked at her. They were just kids at school. It wasn't like it was the end of my world. The worst that those kids could do was what Charlie and Renee had been doing since the day I was born. I was fine.
"I mean...why didn't you find a way to tell me about Charlie and Renee?" She repeated, explaining her question further. I frowned, crossing my arms at my chest.
What was I supposed to do? Send a letter to the address that I didn't have? Call the number that she didn't leave? Google the name that she changed? Rosalie had left me. Even if she had no idea what the result of that would have been, that didn't make it right for her to ask me something like that. I had no idea what to say to her. I had no way of contacting her, even if I had thought to.
But at the time, I was under the impression that she wanted absolutely nothing to do with any of us.
With good reason.
So, I just shrugged and she nodded.
The rest of the day was just as awkward. Nobody, other than Edward, knew what to say to me. Rosalie and Emmett were about as normal as they usually were, but that didn't make it less awkward after what Rosalie had asked me. I found myself wandering around a bit, trying to figure out what I should do. I was also constantly glued to Edward's side, as nobody else seemed capable of conversing with me.
Edward and I returned to bed that night in what was mostly silence. We were both emotionally exhausted and ready to catch some sleep. He held me and hummed me back to sleep again, at least giving me a comfortable ending to the day.
When I woke up, I was stretched out on my back and Edward had his head resting on my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair, amazed with the softness of it. I could tell by his soft breathing pattern that he was still sound asleep. His arms were wrapped almost uncomfortably around my waist. I couldn't find it in me to move him though. He was just so comfortable and warm. The glass windows made the room a bit cooler than other parts of the house, but Edward's body was my personal space heater. I smiled and began rubbing his back with my other hand.
"Mmm," he hummed, and I grinned to myself. "That feels good, Bella."
I nodded knowingly. He had rubbed my back, in order to help me sleep, many times during my bed-rest.
"We need to get up soon, huh? What time is it?" He asked and I looked around. First, I looked out the window, as if I were one of those people who could tell time using the sun. Not that it mattered, as there was a thick, dark overcast covering the sky. It made the outside look as if the sun hadn't even risen. My eyes found the alarm clock eventually, and I frowned. It was early. It was only seven-fifteen. So, I shrugged and mouthed seven at him. He nodded and then put his head back.
"You make a nice pillow, love." He breathed and I giggled. "Although my arms are about asleep..."
He finally moved to sit up. I watched in silence as he turned to face me. His eyes suddenly lit up, reminding me of when a cartoon light-bulb lights up above someone's head.
"Want to exchange our first presents up here?" He asked, nudging me. I smiled, nodding.
"Okay, one second." He rolled over and opened the drawer on his night stand. I quickly moved to his bathroom, where I had Rosalie and Emmett hide his gift under the sink. I ran back in and found Edward sitting in the middle of the bed Indian-style. I smiled at him, climbing up so that I could be next to him.
"You first!" He handed me mine, placing his giant gift next to us.
I slowly began to undo the gift-wrap. It was wrapped in blue wrapping paper, a color that Edward complimented on me many times. I grinned at him and then got to to box inside. It was satin, and also dark blue. My eyes nearly fell out of my head as he moved so that he was holding my right hand in his. I waited patiently as he kissed my knuckle and then let me open the box.
When I opened the small box, I couldn't have been more surprised. The ring inside was stunning. It was silver, and the front of it was two hands, with a crown on top. The two hands were holding a small emerald heart in between them. I just shook my head, my eyes tearing up at the mere sight of it.
"Okay, before you complain about money...let me explain." He was practically rushing, his smile growing. "You remember how I told you that we have a bit of Irish blood in our family? On Esme's side?"
I nodded, ruffling his reddish-brown hair for playful emphasis.
"Yes," he spoke, laughing. "Well, this ring has been passed down our family for many years. My mother gave it to me when I graduated from the academy. She asked me to save it for the girl who captures my heart. I knew the moment I saw you that you were that girl.
"Anyway, this isn't an engagement ring just yet. I know neither of us are quite ready for that. It is a promise ring though. I promise that one day I will ask you to marry me. I promise that I love you more than anything in this world, Bella, and I want you to spend the rest of your life with me. I want to learn everything about you and help you chase down every single one of your wants and dreams. I want us to have little babies running around us while we rock on some front porch swing. I want it all, and I want you.
"Now," he spoke softly, gently taking my right hand into his. "Wearing this on your right hand, facing out, means that you are single and your heart is open. Wearing it on your right hand facing in, means that you have captured someone's heart, and you no longer have your own. On your left hand, our means you're engaged, and in means that you're married. So, for the time being, I would be honored if you, Isabella Marie Swan, would wear my Claddagh ring on your right finger, facing in."
"Yes!" I cried out, thinking of nothing but how much I loved him. He slipped the ring on my finger, tears falling down my cheeks. He laughed, leaning in to kiss me, clasping our hands together.
"I love you, Bella."
"I love you too, Edward! I love you so much!" I gushed, unable to stop the words. "That was the best Christmas present...the best anything that has ever happened to me, Edward!"
"Oh my God!" He laughed, putting his hands on my cheeks to pull me in for a kiss. "I knew your voice was beautiful!"
"My present doesn't even compare..." I sniffled, looking down at what I had gotten him with a frown.
"Bella, you have given me your heart...you've opened up to me so much that you're talking! Bella! That's the best thing that you could have given me...of course anything else would only be an added bonus."
"You always say the right thing...what if I c-can't?" I stuttered. I was practically blubbering at that point.
But I was talking!
"You already are." He breathed, wrapping his arms tightly around my shoulders. I just leaned into him, sniffling. I felt as if whatever had been holding me back had just collapsed all together. I felt as if I were flooding with so many words that I had never been able to share. I didn't know where to begin, or what to say. I had so many options – so much more than nodding and shrugging.
"Open yours!" I huffed, pulling away from him. I literally loved hearing my own voice at that point. "I'm excited..."
"Me too." He gave me a cheesy grin before quickly tearing through the paper. His face grew shocked as she found the giant, rectangular guitar case. I clapped lightly, rocking a bit as I waited for him to open the lid. "What is it?"
"I'm not telling! Just take the lid off!" I laughed.
"I know. I just wanted to hear you talk again." He winked and I rolled my eyes, patting his knee.
Finally, he removed the lid. I watched as jaw dropped in shock. Slowly, his long arms reached in and pulled out the guitar that I had sent to all of his favorite bands to have signed. I had been working on it since I had met him, and found out how much he loved music. He played the guitar, but told me that he didn't have a really great one at home. I wanted him to have a better than great one, and I knew that he deserved it for taking care of me.
He flipped it over, looking over it to read all of the notes and signatures. His eyes watered with fresh tears, surprising me. I knew that he would like it no matter what. I just never thought that it was tear worthy.
That was when I noticed that he was reading my comment.
Edward,
Nobody has ever reached out to me the way that you have.
I may not be able to use the right words,
but I want you to know that I love you
and that you deserve it all.
Merry Christmas.
Forever,
Bella.
"Bella...this is fantastic. Amazing. Beautiful." He laughed and pulled me to him for another kiss. The kiss grew deeper than it ever had, surprising me a bit. Not that it bothered me. I found myself moving the guitar to the side, not breaking the kiss, and moving closer to straddle him.
"Bella! Edward! It's Christmas!" Emmett screamed delightfully, and then slammed Edward's door open. I gasped, not able to move, due to shock and the fact that we were both completely out of breath. My entire body grew hot with a blush, but not even that could knock any sense into me. Everything had been so surreal until Emmett showed up. "Holy shit guys! You could have at least locked the door! I'm knocking next time!"
He covered his eyes dramatically, and pulled the door closed. I rolled my eyes and turned to look at Edward. He was grinning cheekily, and I leaned in to kiss that grin. He was so perfect. Every single thing about him.
What had I done right?
"Well, we should go downstairs before he tells everyone that you're pregnant, or something." Edward snickered and I nodded, sliding out of my spot. Edward pulled me into his side, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and taking my right hand into his. I rest my head on his shoulder, following him as we made our way down the stairs together.
"No kidding." I spoke, smiling at the sound of my own voice. It was nice to hear after twelve years.
"So, Miss Swan, what's your favorite color?" He asked me.
"Green!" I answered too quickly, thinking of his eyes. He chuckled. He already knew the color and why, he was just trying to get me to talk to him.
"I'm still so excited." He continued.
"I know! Should we surprise everyone?" I stopped him on the steps, turning to look up at him.
"Yes! Just don't say anything until someone asks you something, completely direct. And then, start talking and act like it's the most normal thing in the world." He whispered and I nodded, smiling.
We got to the living room and sat down with everyone.
"Merry Christmas, Bella!" Emmett ran over and lifted me into a vice grip.
"Em, put me down!" I gasped through his choking grip and he laughed, dropping me. That was when something processed, and he froze in his spot.
"She speaks!" He laughed, lifting me up and spinning me around again.
"Yeah, what's the big deal?" I kidded.
"Bella!" Rosalie hopped up, and ran over, pulling me into a hug stronger than Emmett's.
"You're talking?" She squealed, placing her hands on my shoulders and I felt my face grow warm.
"Yes." I breathed.
A/N: 10,000 words in a single day, you guys. * Bows *
You have to review! She spoke, so you have to! If you want longer, nicer chapters like this, then you'll review! You know why?
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