"No, I'm the real Legend!"
"No, I'm the real Legend!"
"No, your the evil clone. I'm the real Legend!"
Alexandria sighed. "A puppy is stuck on a cliff, about to fall. On the other side of the planet, Jack Slash is about to stab a little girl. Who do you save?"
The first legend looked at her. "The little girl."
Alexandria punched him in the face, knocking him out. Then, she turned to the second Legend.
"...The puppy?"
Alexandria kicked him in the family jewels.
"Where's the real Legend." She demanded.
"In your mother." Snarled the fake Legend. Alexandria kicked him again.
"Oh god, the pain! He's in Australia!"
Alexandria punched him, then groaned.
"Australia. Fuck. He'll be eaten alive."
"Yo Legend."
"What are you?"
"Names Khonsu. You looked intresting, so I distracted the natives."
"What are you?"
"Endbringer. Don't worry, I'm on vacation."
"...What."
"Yeah, the others are getting annoyed by that. Except Simurgh, she keeps smirking. No idea why."
"You're a fucking Endbringer."
"Ya. Also, what day is it?"
"Tuesday."
"...Shit."
The giant circular barrier around the two collapsed, and the two were attacked by giant spiders.
Legend fired at one of them. The beam incinerated it, and Uranus, instantly.
Khonsu waved his hand, and several spiders aged into dust.
The last spider began making a laughter-like sound, before the egg sacks hatched.
Legend began flying into the air to grab the moon, but was caught by a swarm of poisonous spiders. Thankfully, he died instantly. Khonsu sighed.
"Ah, fuck it."
Khonsu clicked his fingers, and a cloaked woman appeared.
The spiders looked at her, and, literally, screamed.
The woman looked mildly annoyed. The spiders began tearing their throats out.
The woman sighed, and glared at Khonsu.
"Please forgive me." Said the Endbringer. "I needed Legend's body intact. I will return you to your time period now."
Khonsu clapped, and the woman disappeared.
Noticing an approaching speck, Khonsu put up a barrier, making it look like he was made of stone.
Alexandria arrived, looked around, sighed, and grabbed Legends corpse.
"You need to be more careful, Legend." Said Glastig Uaine.
"I try." He moaned.
"Just because I can resurrect everyone doesn't mean that I'll always be around."
"Yeah yeah."
"And every time I bring you back, Alexandria pays me to scold you, which is time I'm not raising the dead of whatever war broke out today."
"Wait, what?"
"Glastig!" Hissed Alexandria. "Don't tell him that!"
"Bu-"
"Go resurrect the people who died because of Moord Nag today."
Glastig Uaine shrugged, waved her hand, and simultaneously resurrected six million, three hundred and sixty nine thousand and twelve people.
"Now, Legend...A puppy is stuck on a cliff, about to fall. On the other side of the planet, Jack Slash is about to stab a little girl. Who do you save?"
"I go Faster Then Light and save them both."
Alexandria hit him.
"Ow! What was that for!"
"For making me worry."
Eidolon watched this exchange.
"...Oh god, she's Tsundere."
"What did you say!"
"Nothing!"