Chapter 6 : Where the Souls Go

Sayu's mind might have been damaged, but at least, her body was untouched. For what it was worth, she could take her physical presence back to her family. She knew that she was going crazy before she even went out of the crevasse in the earth, leading to that place where only monsters can prosper. Why did she even think that there was an angel amongst them? An angel wouldn't choose that life of pain and misery... But what if angels were sent on Earth to protect those who would find themselves in a bad place without their consent? What sort of angel was Mello then? A real one, there to rescue her? Or a monster amongst others, there to suck up her soul, wearing a mask of an angel to remain unnoticed?

She was brooding over those thoughts on her way back home. Her father would talk to her, he would hug her and stroke her hair, but she wouldn't respond. She couldn't respond. She was unable to find the strength to hug him back and tell him that she would be fine. And even if she could speak, if she came to say that, it would be a lie. She won't be fine. She knew that she couldn't be fine after what happened. Somebody else, somebody strong would have maybe been able to carry on living normally, but she was never strong. Strong was what the rest of her family was, and them being so strong made her feel as if she would always have their protection. No need to fight for herself because her brother would be there. No need to prepare herself for the hardships of life because she was a good girl and could imagine no great trouble coming to get her. If this was life's trial, a way of showing her that the things in life can't always be as good as she would want them to be, if this was a test to see whether she could be as strong as she should, then she failed. Almost as a matter of revenge towards that very life that dared to push her so low, she didn't want to stand up and fight. Instead, she let herself fade away from reality. Because she had not deserved this. This was not fair! She was angry at the universe, but her anger was not visible. And yet it burned her... She was angry at the fate that brought this upon her, she was angry at every criminal in the world, she wanted Kira to punish them, while at the same time being so angry with him or with her, whoever that person was, if it was a person at all. If it wasn't for Kira, she wouldn't have been kidnapped. If it wasn't for Kira, she wouldn't have loved...

Anger and frustration tore through her body and she started to scream as soon as she got home. She barely passed the door and barely received a kiss from her mother, when she started screaming and crying, thinking of everything that happened, of everything that didn't happen, of everything that should and shouldn't have happened.

That emotional outburst was the first and the only one she has had since she came back home. Most of the time, she remained silent, barely even moving. Her mother even had to take her to the bathroom. The world thought that she was catatonic and she certainly wasn't far from that.

The only place where she was able to breathe and live normally was the land of her dreams. In her dreams, in the dark room where she could only hear somebody sobbing, she would open her mouth and say:

"I'm here back again" or "I have come back again."

And again.

And again.

And she heard whispers in the dark again. And when she'd wake up, she would die again.

But she'd go back there when she would close her eyes, and she would see angels coming to her and taking her up in heaven. Several of them looked like the painted whores who were kind to her back in the Angel's Lair. They would sometimes walk a portion of the way with her, accompanying her through the darkness, until she would see Mello. There, she would run to him again, be with him again, love him again.

And again, and again...

And when she would wake up, she could still feel the taste of chocolate on her lips.

It didn't take her long to realize that her waking life could be made more bearable if she ignored the world around her. She trained herself to forget reality. If she successfully ignored the real world, she would be able to go into her dream world even with her eyes open. Everybody thought that she was gone, that she was withering away, but in truth, she was happy. Or at least, happier than she would be in a world without her angel.

She had known him for only three days, but those three days were worth a lifetime to her.

Her family, on the other side, seemed to disagree with that. She would have gladly told them to leave her to her own world where she can be with her angel, but in order to do so, she would have to talk to them, and she wasn't ready for that yet. If she told them, they wouldn't understand. Other people couldn't understand. Only angels could. And angels were in another world, far, far away.

Yet the countryside seemed like a sort of heaven in its own right. Her brother and her mother had to convince Soichiro to spend some time outside of the city, saying it would do good to both him and Sayu. Sayu felt bad for her father. Since she became unresponsive, he had become distant as well. Once, she heard him breaking down in tears in front of his wife, saying that all of this was his fault, that the monsters have taken everything from him, that they took the Death Note, but that they also changed his little girl. The Death Note... Sayu could remember Mello asking her about it... She remembered every word that Mello had uttered in front of her. And now, she heard her father mentioning it, completely broken. But it wasn't the Death Note, no matter what it was, that concerned her. It was her father. She wanted to hold his hand, to hug him and to tell him that she wasn't unhappy, but she was physically unable to do so. She seemed to have lost the ability to talk when she decided that it was better to sink in her little world rather than to face the real one... And so Sachiko and Light decided for Soichiro and Sayu; they would go to the countryside. Once that one has reached the bottom, going somewhere else could only make things better.

They ended up moving to their holiday home in the countryside and her mother took Sayu outside to breathe the fresh air as often as she could. The vast expansion of nature clashed so severely with the claustrophobic space in which Sayu confined her fantasies that she was bound to start responding to the outer stimuli, one day or another. When she smiled at the butterfly that flew near to her and slightly outstretched her arm to touch him, she heard her mother gasp. From that day, her father seemed to be getting better too. One baby step a time, Sayu was becoming a responsive human being again. She was still unable to walk, or talk, but her eyes were lively again. She was able to smile and after several weeks, she was eating normally, all by herself.

Soon enough, Soichiro Yagami could go back to work. With his little girl getting better, the depression left him. Reciprocally, Soichiro's good mood influenced Sayu's as well. The Kira case was still ongoing, but her father seemed more motivated to bring it to an end than ever before. Things were improving for the Yagami family.

Sometimes, in the nights when the sky was clear, Sayu would roll her wheelchair over to the window and stare at the stars in the night. They reminded her of millions of little angels lightning up the darkness. The thought was making her giggle.

The news hit them like a stroke of thunder. Soichiro Yagami was dead. Apparently, he had tried to dismantle an organization that held Kira's source of power in their hands, and he was shot during a raid to their hideout. He was reported to have died in peace though... In a hospital, holding his genius son's hand, even smiling in his last moments.

Instead of relapsing, the news had the effect of a slap on the cheek for Sayu. She looked over towards her mother. Sachiko was a strong woman. She had always been strong. But this time, she seemed utterly devastated. After all that she had done for her family, Sachiko broke down. There was no way that Sayu was going to leave her mother, the woman who has been through so much for others, be that helpless and alone. Sayu felt a sudden rage run through her, and no amount of fantasy and angels could get her out of there. She would have to act alone. So she got on her feet, pushed the wheelchair away, walked over to her mother and hugged her.

"We're gonna make it, mom," she said.

Sachiko raised her head in shock and looked at her daughter as if it was the first time that she saw her. "Sa...yu?" she said, stumbling on her words.

"I'm all right mom. We must be strong now. Dad wouldn't want us to be sad."

He was walking through the darkness all alone. Here and there, he would hear the rattling of chains and the sound of screams. He tried to run away, but he would always hear them. He was running, but without knowing where. He was surrounded by a vast black space with nothing by which he could orient himself. After a while, the emptiness and the loneliness became frightening and he felt that he would probably go mad at any moment. So he ran in the direction of the voices. They, at least, gave him something to run after. But when he got to them, they disappeared. The silence consumed the room. He wandered aimlessly through the darkness for a while, before noticing two figures floating mid-air. He rushed towards them before they too dissolved, as everything ever did in this place. The closer he came to them, the more the two figures looked like angels. They were dressed in bright clothes and their wings illuminated the place. When he approached them, the angels descended to his level.

"Mother?" he thought, but he could hear the words as if they were spoken. "Father?"

His parents didn't speak. They didn't smile either. They looked fragile, like paper dolls. They didn't even seem to be looking at him but rather through him. It was as if they didn't even see him. But he saw them, and, after so many years, he finally knew what their faces looked like. A memory buried so long ago, in the deepest drawers of his soul was now present before his eyes. When he tried to touch them, they disappeared. He heard someone crying. It wasn't him. He could be sure that it wasn't him.

I promised I would come back again, a voice said, but only once. It disappeared soon after though, never coming again after that. The irony.

Shots were fired. Explosions were heard. And his body was burning. He must be in Hell, he thought. He had sinned and now his soul was purging its debt in fire, as it should. Yet, there was no fire in sight. Only the torturous kiss of the flames on his body. He could feel his skin melting and falling, and new layers of skin replacing the older ones, just to melt yet again, but he did not see it fall. It happened more and more often in this place. Every time, he tried to run away, but every time, he would end up face in face with his final sin: Soichiro Yagami.

Soichiro would appear before him motionless. Standing, facing him, clutching the Death Note against his chest. Just like his parents, he wouldn't move and he wouldn't speak. Every time that Mello would look into the older man's eyes, he would feel the fires of Hell consuming his soul.

I'm truly sorry. For what it's worth, I promise you that I never wanted to kill you. he heard a voice say.

When Soichiro Yagami disappeared that time, Mello saw a dot of light in the distance. He walked in that direction.

The light was emanating from Soichiro's daughter, Sayu Yagami. Her clothes were in rags, her hair was a mess and her face was red from crying. But unlike the other ghosts he saw in this place, Sayu seemed real.

"Angel..." she said. The words echoed now, the echo marked by the voices of his parents.

He ran up to her.

"Don't disappear, please don't disappear," he yelled.

And she didn't. When he came close to her she smiled. And when he touched her cheek, she put her hand over his. She kissed the palm of his hand and leaned in for a hug. But when Mello hugged her, he could feel her pass through his body, putting an end to the pain that he felt. When he turned around, she was behind his back, walking away from him. He tried to call her, but she didn't turn around. He tried to run after her, but she was faster. Soon, the darkness devoured her, and Mello was alone once again, as he had always been.

When he thought that he had finally touched the bottom of Hell, the sound of buttons being hastily clicked and a fast-paced jumpy melody made him realize that this place wasn't his final destination. He felt his body more powerful and the darkness weaker. He closed his eyes, and then opened them once again. He was in a hospital.

"M...Matt?" whispered Mello.

Matt widely opened his eyes and gave Mello a smile. He waved to someone in the distance and pointed at Mello. A nurse appeared and Mello fainted once again.

"Matt! How long has it been since I've last seen you?" asked Mello on their ride home.

"Long enough for a serial killer to become the ruling force of the world." replied Matt. He turned towards Mello and smiled. "Nice to see you, buddy!" he said.

"Nice to see you too" Mello replied. "Nobody went after me?"

"Nope. If it isn't for some prostitutes... I was quite surprised, didn't expect you to end up in that business now, when I remember how protective you were of girls at Wammy's... But one of them... I think she said her name was Candy... Yeah, one of them told me that you weren't their pimp or anything, but a friend of sorts. I could just expect that your frequentations were going to kill you one day..."

"Or at least burn me," said Mello, instinctively touching his burned face, before he and Matt went into a fit of laughter. The flames might have touched him, but they didn't get to destroy him. Yet.

"So Candy's fine?" asked Mello once that they calmed down. "Were there any others?"

"Sure there. I've got a whole list of them in my phone."

Matt gave Mello his phone and kept chuckling while he drove.

Candy MELLO'S HOOKER
Cat MELLO'S HOOKER
Diamond Sparkle MELLO'S HOOKER
Ginger Pie MELLO'S HOOKER
Lioness Ally MELLO'S HOOKER
Plum MELLO'S HOOKER
Sex Panther MELLO'S HOOKER
Star Diva MELLO'S HOOKER
Strawberry MELLO'S HOOKER
Vanilla Sugar MELLO'S HOOKER

"You child" scoffed Mello. Although, he had to admit it, the situation was funny to him as well.

"Oh, here we are!" said Matt as he parked his car in the garage of a rather small building.

"Of course, I didn't tell them where we were, but I've got their telephone numbers in case you're sure they're clean and they can come over," said Matt as they walked up the stairs.

"How did they even learn that I was in hospital? To me, you can call them over, it's safe... Talking with them always makes me feel good."

"Wow, Mello." said Matt, indignant. "You haven't seen me for five years and then I don't even get that type of compliment. And then you invite prostitutes over to /talk/. Man, you're incorrigible..."

"Matt..." said Mello, waiting for Matt to pause and turn around to continue: "Thank you. Thank you very much. I really appreciate what you did for me."

"Ah, there we go!" said Matt as they entered the flat.

The next day, all the prostitutes from Matt's list went to the flat. When Mello was in the hospital, the girls entered the room by intervals and one by one, and Matt could pretend that he was able to act normally. But now, with all of them together in one room, Matt was completely overtaken. Matt's social skills were never very good, and the bigger the crowd around him, the more panicked he was. On top of all that, these girls were very touchy-feely. They seemed to be flirting all the time, and since they apparently considered Mello a girl (a common mistake), he could only be seen as the unique man in the flat, which made him the perfect victim. So he ran away. After a while of walking through the city, he realized that he might have seemed rude. A sudden thought ran through his head: What if the girls hadn't eaten before they went? What if they were hungry? What if Mello was now stuck with offering food and all he had was chocolate? What if one of those girls was allergic to chocolate? Matt started to panic, and ran to the nearest pizzeria.

Why is it that Matt was the most awkward when he tried /not/ to be awkward? Buying pizza was a nice thing to do, right? But now, he was standing in front of the door of his own flat with a pile of pizza boxes and he had to ring the bell with his nose. When the door opened, he almost dropped the entire pile on the ground, and he would have if the girls weren't there to catch him. As if that wasn't enough, when the boxes were finally safely disposed on the table, Matt felt his head go dizzy and nearly fell on the ground. Instead of falling on the floor, however, he clumsily fell on Lioness Ally's breasts and her overly sexual "Mmh!" sound only made it worse. Then Matt started apologizing, which made everything even more awkward. Lioness Ally, on the contrary, didn't seem uneasy at all.

"Hey, man, it's all right! Now, if you want more, I..."

"No! No, I didn't mean to... I must go!" stuttered Matt, before escaping to the kitchen.

Unfortunately, the kitchen wasn't empty either. Candy and Cat were there, chatting and eating pizza, and Matt was running so fast that he hustled Candy.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to, I really don't know what's... I'm so sorry." he said

"Hey, it's all right!" said Candy and her high-pitched voice slightly startled Matt. He looked up, but at the sight of the shirt that revealed half of her cleavage, he lowered his gaze.

"Ooooh, see the handsome boy, he's blushing!" said Cat, sending him a wink.

At that, Matt's face became even redder and he turned away. However, immediately there was standing the most voluptuous woman he had ever seen. She was a blonde, with curly hair and long, dark eyelashes. Her lips were painted red and her dress was black and short, with furry handcuffs on her belt and a plunging décolleté. Vanilla Sugar, if he remembered correctly. When she touched his shoulder, Matt honestly thought that he was going to die. Ironically, his death wouldn't even be Kira's fault.

"What's the matter, sugar boy? We ain't gonna eat you, you know?" she said.

Matt's head sunk even deeper in his shoulders. He was unable to look her in the eye once again, much preferring to focus his gaze on his feet.

"Oh, come on, leave the poor sweetheart alone," said another one. Matt glanced at her just briefly, and immediately recognized her. This one was Strawberry.

Vanilla Sugar let go of him. "He's really beautiful though," she said. She looked over at Strawberry and went away.

Strawberry gave him a pat on the back and went away too. Matt was thankful to be left alone, but it wouldn't be long for that to last. As much as he could be himself around Mello, he felt literally naked in front of those girls. He tried to calm down, to tell himself that these girls have seen so many men actually, literally naked, and that he shouldn't have a problem with them... Before dismissing that argument, because his nakedness was much deeper than a merely physical one. For a moment, he saw the path to his room cleared and sprinted towards it. He locked himself inside, swearing that he will never go out and interact with other people ever again.

"Now that's one real sad story!" said Diamond Sparkle.

Mello looked around. He couldn't believe that he just told them everything. He told them about Sayu calling him an angel and about the story it had recalled. The reactions by the prostitutes were very much what he expected: some of them were wiping their eyes, others were offering a sympathetic smile. Mello disliked sentimentality, and telling his life story would have seemed ridiculous in any other occasion. Still, in this world, somebody needed to know it, since Mello could die at any moment, and he didn't want to take the memories in his grave with him. Matt already knew, but Mello felt as if he had some debt towards these girls too, and he would pay it by telling them everything. If it wasn't for them, the occasional rays of tenderness in a world of violence, Mello would have completely forgotten that it was possible to feel affection for another human being.

Plum was the most silent of the girls. She has always been distant. Mello liked her, because whenever she spoke, she would do it in very few words, but each of them would be extraordinarily meaningful. She didn't seem to form attachments, but her words had a way to reach people in the ways that even she probably didn't imagine. This time, however, when she opened her mouth, it was to tell her own story:

"I fell in love with one of my clients once, you know?" she said. "I was very young then... I must've been your age... No... Younger. Younger by a year or so. I had that one costumer who came every week. A gorgeous one, that lad! His name was Lind... I never knew his last name though. He came, visited me for two years and then... PUFF! Disappeared. Never knew what happened to the bastard. Two more years and I'd seen him on TV. I learned his name just then, you know. He said he was L that one day. It was just a trick to get Kira. And just like that, he died of a heart attack on national TV. I assumed I'd never see him again and I'd gotten over him years ago. If he'd been executed through the death penalty and I learned it through the news or some of my friends... I would've been fine, I'd be fine... But seeing him die just there... I hadn't watched the news that day, you know? I wouldn't even know if it wasn't for Foxy, my then best friend. I told you 'bout that one, didn't I? The one who died of drug abuse that same year. She showed me the recording of that show... She said... She said 'is it that ex-boyfriend of yours?'. And then I cried. I cried a torrent of tears and I hated him. Hated him. Not for having left me with no word. Not for having gone to some darker crimes... But for having displayed his full names on the TV, for everyone to see... Risking to get killed... But he hadn't wanted to tell it to me, not once, not ever. It's the little things that stay, little things like that... They're worth more than you think. Lind, not telling me his full name... And Sayu, calling you her angel."

She stopped talking and looked Mello straight to the eye.

"I'm not one to offer you comfort, solace, or advice. None of us really can. None, save for that clumsy friend of yours who's locked himself in his room two hours ago and won't come out... And that girl you loved."

"I never said that I loved her!" said Mello, started.

"Well you didn't have to." she replied and reached for another slice of pizza, which meant that she wouldn't be talking anymore.

"I guess I did then..." replied Mello. He sighed and took a bite of chocolate.

A/N: I know that I usually put my ANs both in the beginning and the end of a chapter, but I often feel that it's too much...and also, because I would spill the beans about the surprise POV of this chapter xD

I initially planned to tell the story through Mello's and Sayu's point of view alternatively, but I couldn't resist putting some socially awkward Matt in it ^^ the creators told us that Matt lacks social skills, but we never really got the chance to see it, so I tried to exploit it in this stoty...

As for Mello and Sayu, this is how I imagine that it went psychologically for both of them...

Also, one last important news, this story is planned to count seven chapters in total. And this is already chapter six. Meaning that the next chapter is the last one... I swear, even if this story doesn't have that many chapters, it still physically hurts me to be so close to the end xD

So far, I want to thank you all for the positive reception of the story ^^ and I hope that you liked this chapter too ^^ Don't hesitate to tell me what you thought of it through reviews! It means so much!

Until the next time then!

Love,

~LooneyZampy