A/N: Thanks for the reviews/adds to favorites/story alerts. A few things: I plan on five chapters for the story, the white picket fence line was used in at least Grape Soda and Magnets, and I'm going to be doing my best to keep this Juuhachigou presented as extra homicidal to highlight what an evil sociopath she is.

~~~Stay Tuned~~~

The next time that i caught my own reflection it was on its way to meet you,
Thinking of excuses to postpone.
You never look like yourself from the side,
But your profile does not hide the fact you knew i was approaching your throne.

With folded arms you walked aside the bench like toothache,
Saw them puff your chest out like you'd never lost a war,
And though i tried not to talk for the indignity of a reaction,
There was not cracks to grasp, or gaps to claw.

Crying Lightening, Arctic Monkeys

He'd thought he'd left stuttering behind with functioning organs below. "Is she, is she still android?"

Baba nodded slowly.

"What happened!" Krillin's arms flayed about dramatically. "She was a murderer right? Only they stopped her? They didn't kill her? And more importantly, how did I marry her?" Was it the fact that he'd married her, or the other way around that was more disturbing? Who proposed to whom? Who asked whom out? Was it a mutual amnesia that had also stricken her blind? How had she had a baby? There was no way that child had been adopted.

"I'm not sure." She reached out for her crystal ball. "How about you hand that over."

"Nope. Got it for a week."

Then he ran away with it and hid in the bathroom of the arcade. Since the Sky Fighter game is down, again, he ended up turning it back on and watching them watch TV. When they were boring and doing stuff like folding laundry, he read the poetry written on the walls. That and napped, the flush handle digging into his spine. He could take three hours of this, before the shooting debilitating pains in his legs made him crumble to the clean tile in a huddled ball. Despite what Goku and King Yemma claimed, you really couldn't get a good nap sitting on a toilet.

It was probably what being in a normal high school would have been like. But with less homework and chances to embarrass yourself in front of girls.

…Though, they still sometimes had dances that just about everyone but him and Goku and a few other warriors would attend. They fell into two groups: ones either self-conscious fighters who had no manly pride left to betray, or those were so sure of themselves that they didn't care if someone saw them dancing, since what was wrong with that anyway? Goku definitely fell into the second, and Krillin into the first. All their friends would refuse to talk to them when they'd come back, flushed and sweaty as though from a good workout, and Vegeta would literally unable to even look at them. And any girls there would just shake their heads over the two.

These things all came back to him as he sat there and looked on, reevaluating his own time spent on Earth. Thinking things over, and plotting. For the next three days, Krillin couldn't resist taking another look at odd times, no matter how it was slowly, consciously driving him insane.

Them, taking turns reading part of a book before tucking their daughter into bed. Him reading on the easy chair, then Juuhachigou looking over his shoulder, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before moving away when she grew bored. Eating dinner and feeding the baby together, their smiles over their plates whenever Maron smiles and coos. Fighting over what to watch on TV, and then it slowly turning into a wrestling match that spills popcorn onto the couch, then a chance to try and pin one another.

He had always thought that going crazy spared you from the knowledge that you were in fact going insane. That it would protect you, and cushion you from the fact that you were losing your mind. Naïve. He'd been so naïve. Krillin had to turn away.

You son of a bitch.

Me, you lucky bastard.

It was odd feeling envy for a man that looked exactly like him except for the hair. It was him, almost, but in a different time. One with different chances and opportunities.

When they spar out on the beach, Krillin can see her again, the demon, but then it's gone after she'd knocked him into the sand. She teased him, but then given him a hand back up. Juuhachigou poked at him after applying the bandages, a greedy, admiring look on her face. The other Krillin squirmed and joked, and maybe he can't see the light in her eyes when the blonde android stared at him.

It wasn't manipulative, there is no cruel game here; it was grateful. 'Thank you.' It made this Krillin's skin crawl.

When that Krillin was asleep and she'd be awake, she would lay there in bed and simply look at him. Sometimes, resting against him with her eyes opened like a cat, or sitting up to touch his hair and neck. Krillin couldn't read her face, but if it was coming from someone else it would be affection. She never hurt him outside of sparring, and from what Krillin could tell, she would kill herself before she put a finger on that little girl.

Once Maron had fallen and skinned her knee, and the android had been more upset than the girl as she put a Band-Aid and antiseptic on the wound. She'd actually had tears welling in her eyes, while Maron cooed and asked for a hug.

It was decided then.

He went to the others.

They were, understandably, appalled. Even as he held up to show them the globe and an image of himself and Juuhachigou. They are being they're usual adorable selves, talking to the baby and trying to teach her the ABCs, and Krillin was nearly proud of them. Thank god they weren't fighting or yelling at each other.

Once he'd taken a break from working out only to turn on the globe and find them in the midst of an argument. Over what exactly he didn't know, but it had the air of one thing snowballing into another. They might have been arguing over the color of the couch, but really it was about many other things. She didn't clean a plate, he forgot to fix the dripping sink, she needed to change more diapers, he needed to cook more, blah blah blah.

Amazingly, it's Juuhachigou that sleep on the old badly colored couch (that Juuhachigou hated and complained about until even this Krillin right here was ready to toss the thing out to sea). But then the other Krillin makes breakfast to make up, and everything was okay by midmorning. In the evening, they'd put the kid to bed and were soon making up. And causing the other Krillin to flush and hurry to turn the globe off—he'd nearly choked on his takeout Chinese food and had gotten serious stares from the other patrons of the cafeteria the first time they'd done that. Having to yell at the other fighter that he 'could not control what was showed' was not an experience he wanted to go through ago.

Really, they needed to warn people before they just threw themselves at each other like that-it was unsettling and inconsiderate. As were the smirks they exchanged the following morning that made Krillin roll his eyes over.

But now, there were dressed and it was possible to stare at them straight on rather than covering your eyes and desperate trying to shut it off with the other. Which, sadly, was difficult to do and involved slapping and pleading with the globe to turn off and leaving handprints all over the glass.

"Is this a joke?"

"So. This is the other timeline where the androids were…able to be defeated? Turned to our side?"

"But, no. No. That can't be…her."

"Oh yes, yes it is. Look at their hands, people."

"Rings?"

"Holy shit, is that your kid?"

"Oh, yeah," Krillin responded casually, a kid, no big thing. "Marron."

"Why did you name her that?"

"Who knows why I do anything? This guy drinks grape soda by the gallon, so he's a little weirder than I am."

"Yeah, but he's not the one wanting to hook up with a homicidal android. I guess. Is she evil there? I don't know what the hell's going on in the timeline."

"Yeah," Chiaotzu piped in, "Maybe Tien has four eyes there."

"And you are tall."

"And Yamcha actually does well with woman, outside of his delusion."

"Hey."

Vegeta, after dying, was more willing to join in on their human games. He was even smiling as they made fun of each other, so long as they didn't say anything about him. "Maybe Kakarrot's smart?"

They all looked at Goku, who was playing with a few younger children in the field.

Right as they look at him, he falls for the spot-on-the-shirt trick and is left clutching his nose. The kids point out another imaginary spot, and his nose became bloody. "No, really, there's a spot there now." The children all laugh, too young to understand how sad it is for a grown man to fall earnestly for that trick.

On the other hand, Vegeta nearly busts a gut, so maybe the kids are just all assholes?

"Maybe not."

"But if Krillin can hook up with a girl, one who's a psychopathic android and have a kid, who knows what the possibilities are."

They thought on that for a moment, before Piccolo spoke up behind them and makes them jump like schoolchildren. "But that's not why you're here, are you Krillin?"

"What do you mean?" The bald fighter rubbed at the back of his head nervously. Something that his alternative self did as well. Only he had thick, almost luxurious hair to run his fingers through.

Piccolo's arms were crossed, disappointed. He had expected so much more from the short human they all mocked. "You want to meet her, don't you? The android?"

The group turned on him. "Just because-"

"She killed like half of us, and you want to go flirt with her?"

"You're despicable."

"Baldy," Vegeta laid down the truth. "She may be married to you, but that is in another universe. This is a different tin can."

"Yes, but doesn't this prove that she can be good, that she has a chance of redemption?"

"No, not particularly."

"Sorry man."

"Vegeta's right."

The Saiyan Prince looked haughty. Then it turned into his usual rage. "You've had that crystal ball this entire time?"

Again, the tide turned against him. "How long have you been watching them Krillin?"

"That can't be healthy."

Another disadvantage to being dead is, you can't move on and live your life. Every tiny thing is scrutinized because, after all, you had time to do so. For all its peace here, people bicker. Nothing is lived down. This gossip will keep them going for another five years, easy.

"What have you been watching them do?"

The blue lit globe took on a seedy look. Everyone imagined bedroom scenes being watched with a lecherous eye, baths and showers being spied on, and they moved a small step back and looked disgusted. The grubby prints from his hands were particularly damning.

"No, nothing like that." His cheeks turn pink. "I don't watch that."

"Do they," the ex-bandit gulped. "Do they do that?"

"Where the hell do you think the kid came from?"

Yamcha made an outraged sound, trying not to heave.

Then Vegeta is snatching the crystal away, proving that Krillin couldn't escape the Saiyan tearing away large balls with mystical powers from him. "How does this stupid thing work?"

"When you wish upon a star…" Krillin said in a sing-song voice.

He gave the shorter man an angry, uncomprehending look. Krillin sighed, wishing his comic genius wasn't wasted on this guy. Juuhachigou in that timeline probably thought he was hilarious. "Just concentrate."

Unsurprisingly, Bulma appeared. The others gave him smug looks; what a softie. She's holding a young child with one hand, a phone in the other. When someone says something disagreeable, the scientist dropped the purple-haired boy to focus on screaming into the receiver. Just when he hit the ground, it occurred to her what she'd done, and she scooped him up and turned the sobs into delighted giggles.

"Hey, you're okay! You're okay Trunks! And as for you-" She began yelling into the phone again.

Goku chose that moment to pop up, and to stick his face into the crystal. "Is that Bulma?"

Vegeta swiped at him. "Get away!"

"That's so cool, lemme give it a try." Then the orange-clad man grabbed the ball away, proving that Goku will always irritate Vegeta, even when there is no actually blood to be boiled.

He shook it. A pink tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth. "Let's see, Chi-Chi!"

Gohan wandered over, hearing the brief argument. "Mom? What's going on, is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine, I think she's back at home. We're checking to make sure your other mom is okay." Goku waved an encouraging hand at his son.

The young man stood there, thought about it, and muttered mostly to himself. "Forget it, just go and get another smoothie." Then he walked back towards the buildings, his footsteps heavy. It still took some getting used to, this big grim Gohan. Routinely, he would appeal to King Yemma to get sent back to earth to help Trunks, and routinely would be turned down.

The dark-haired woman appeared, yelling at a cowering, young Gohan. Her stomach is swollen, and everyone went 'whoa.'

"Another one."

"Go, Goku."

"Shucks you guys, it wasn't even me." His smile left his face. "What are you guys talking about anyway? Is it that fish on the wall? Because that thing is amazingly big."

Then Chi-Chi was swatting at her son with a book before dissolving into tears. "This is all Goku's fault!" she wailed. She hit him again with a book and collapses on the couch. "Go make your mother a cup of tea, Gohan."

Krillin was smug. "My Alterna-wife is an awesome mom."

"And your 'current' wife is in hell."

"You don't know that."

Vegeta grabbed the globe and shook it. "Baldy's crazy robotic wife in this timeline that killed half of us, Baldy's crazy robotic wife in this time that killed half of us."

Nothing appeared.

"See."

"He's not married in this timeline," Tien corrected.

Goku pulled the crystal ball out of the older man's hands. "Let me try, Krillin's crazy robot girlfriend in this timeline!"

The glass remained a cloudy uninterested blue-gray.

"Hey," Yamcha patted him on the back. "You know what a girlfriend is? And a timeline? Good for you."

"They never dated," Chiaotzu added.

Krillin sighed. "Hand it over."

Goku did.

He shook it. "Come on, show me my crazy robot crush who is currently unromantically involved with me. " Krillin paused. "That killed half of us. In this timeline."

The grey clouds started to shift to something solid.

"Oh shit," Krillin muttered.

A blonde woman appeared, surely no older than her early twenties. Her boredom, emphasized with tapping a booted foot on a wood floor they're all familiar with, only emphasizes her youth. As with the craziness, Krillin was aware of his staring mesmerized. Eating her up with his own eyes, as the other Juuhachigou had done. She was perfect, the loveliest woman he'd ever known or even seen, and about to be damned.

"Oh god," Yamcha's voice was thick with grief. There's a low hiss from the others. "That's her."

Beside 'her' was the twin who Krillin was familiar with, dark-haired, tan and handsome, and his murderer. That scarf had given him nightmares for the first years he'd been here, when he would decide to sleep. They'd gone away, but seeing him again brought all of that right back up.

Krillin thought of his afternoon naps and decided 'eh, maybe another year.'

"They look exactly the same." The three-eyed man's tone is grim.

"Okay," Unnerved, the scar-faced bandit started to shake the crystal ball. "You saw her, she's still crazy and evil, let's move on. Come on you guys, how about we look at some puppies or something."

"They're about to be judged!"

"We can catch that any old time on the Court channel at the rec center. Don't you guys want to look at a version of your wives abusing your kids?"

"No, let's what them being judged." Goku grabbed the globe and held it at a height they can all see. "This screen is better than the one at the rec anyway."

A huge roll of paper was still a decent size in the giant's hands as he read off the list. Juunanagou yawned, and Juuhachigou scratched an arm.

"We know, we get it. Can we go now?"

"Go where? Where do you think you two are going?"

"To hell I guess." Now it was Juuhachigou's turn to yawn.

"So, almost hell," Tien said.

"Close enough," Goku nodded.

Krillin turned and began running for the building. The others watched him go, but did nothing to stop him. Instead, they looked into the crystal ball.

Vegeta muttered, "I can't believe they killed all of us."

"Not me."

"No." the smaller Saiyan's voice said, sneeringly. "A disease got you."

Goku's voice was low and mostly directed to himself. "Better than a guy in a scarf."

"Hey, I wonder if we get cable on this thing."

Eagerly, they change the channel.

"Oh god, change it back!"

"Why is it only golf channels that comes in?"

"That's worse than the stuff they show up here."

"I don't know; what about that week when they gave Goku his own channel?" The group continued bickering good-natured over what station was worse.

"Goku's!"

"Master Roshi's!"

"What about Vegeta's?"

While on the crystal ball, unnoticed, Krillin burst into the building.

Thankfully, his lungs are mostly just aesthetic and unnecessary. He had to remind himself that his heart couldn't burst when he was dead. Right, right? In a dramatic movie, they would have gasped at his entrance. Instead, he was given an irritated look.

The best he got was from Juunanagou, who gave him a double-look.

"Alright there, baldy?" the dark-haired man nodded to him, as though they were passing on the street.

Krillin managed not to vomit at the sight of him. Although, now a (another) problem presents itself. How can he offer redemption to one, but not the other? He can't. No matter how much the darker twin made his skin go cold, if he gives Juuhachigou another chance, Juunanagou must get one too. Helping his own murderer. No wonder Piccolo was so disappointed in him.

"Do you have to send them to hell?"

"What?"

The list went right out of the door.

"But, can't they get a chance to redeem themselves?"

"Why would we want that, shrimp?" He couldn't quite look at Juuhachigou in the face; instead he looked at her boots. They were nice boots. There was that at least: an appreciation for her footwear. If only she could care for others as much as she did her clothes, everything would be fine.

…unless she got it into her mind to start skinning people and wearing them.

"Are you kidding? A chance to knock Gero's head off his shoulders all day long? That is heaven." Juunanagou smirked through him. Laughing at someone who wasn't there. Maybe just making fun of simply basic human decency.

"But, the lakes of blood, the stupid guards, being surrounded by evil all day…"

"Eh." They shrugged together.

"The sweatpants, and tank tops, the Lycra the guards wear. It's very bad. The terrible lighting. The races you have to run." He looked up at them, earnest and more scared than he had been in the last ten or so years.

The mechanically enhanced twins glanced at each other. An unspoken argument occurred. Synchronized, they turned back to him.

"We're listening."

Juuhachigou shrugged. "Okay, sure, whatever."

"I never said that," King Yemmaroared behind his desk. "You think we just hand out chances of redemption? Do you have any idea how many people they killed? How much paperwork I had to fill out? How many lives they ruined?"

The two shrug again.

They were like teenagers, Krillin realized. Kill a couple billion people, okay, sure, whatever. Get a chance of redemption to save them from an eternity of hell, okay, sure, whatever. Bored kids. But maybe that just meant that they didn't know any better.

"Why did you kill all those people?"

"Because they were human." She answered, face twisting in disgust. She was remembering who this short, pathetic bald guy was. The other Juuhachigou never wore such an expression except when she found an old dirty magazine under the couch. "Why wouldn't we want to wipe that pathetic ball of mud clean?"

Krillin wanted to turn the crystal ball on and shove it into her face. "Because it would make your daughter sad." With his luck, it would show the other Krillin and Juuhachigou fooling around on the couch.

On the other hand, it wasn't like she could kill him. But then, that just gave them a chance to hurt him for even longer. His heart might not be capable of bursting, but Juuhachigou could probably yank it out.

It might just be safer to keep the other timeline close to his chest. It was a wild card he was wary of pulling out. She might reconsider her position on things, or go crazy and torture him. No way of knowing.

"There's absolutely no reason why these two should have a chance to redeem themselves. They don't even feel bad for what they've done, let alone regret it."

Krillin stared at them, gimme a chance here guys. The twins shrugged.

"They have to feel bad. A little."

Juuhachigou shrugged again. "I regret not being the one to kill you."

"I wish I had killed more people. Wiped out the whole species."

"That purple-haired kid. We should have killed him a long time ago."

"That's what we get for playing around too long."

"Well," her voice was dry. "We won't make that mistake again."

"No," King Yemma growled. "You won't."

The short fighter stared into the swirling now grey ball. There had to be something here, maybe of them being small, of being human. He had just enough sense not to shake the crystal and say what he was thinking aloud. Come on, show them being like kids. Like real, non-homicidal kids, regular teenagers. Just regular teenagers, doing what teenagers do. To his horror, nothing appeared.

At first.

Then an image began to form, slowly rising from the fog.

"See, they can be normal."

It focused first on Juuhachigou, her face frowning in concentration, then panned out to show her in jeans, a t-shirt. Sock and black shoes in a pile before her. They rested on a familiar blue shirt, as well next to a pair of blue sneakers and a pair of green socks. Wine bottles, unopened for the most part, littered the area like small missiles. She put her cards face first onto the floor. "Okay, your turn."

"It's just." His retarded, horribly stupid and weird counterpart glanced behind him at the door, nervous. "I know the door's locked, but still."

The dead Krillin wanted to rip the short, growing hair out of his scalp.

"Just go."

"Fine." The other Krillin laid out his cards. "Absolutely garbage."

"Hah!" Juunanagou laughed and threw his marginally better cards onto the floor. Krillin remembered that white rug in his room perfectly. It was like turning on one of Master Roshi's favorite channels, and discovering that the room that was being used to film the movie was his, and his friends had rented it out without a care. Right there, all this sick wrongness, on his rug. "Take a sip then, both of you."

"Whatever." Juuhachigou stripped off her gloves and threw them at her brother, who gleefully scooped up his winnings.

"Awesome. I can't wait until I get the whole outfit." An blue-white glance was shot at Krillin, who sighed and took off his boots.

"My gi won't fit you anyway."

"But the novelty of it, buddy, the novelty." Juunanagou grabbed his shoulder and shook the small man. "Now, let's see if I can't win those pants of yours."

A horrible silence descended.

"What was that?" The blonde woman's voice was an equal mixture of rage and confusion.

"Uh, you." Her eyes were icy fire, burning and freezing him. "In a different timeline."

The darker twin eyed Krillin. "Why would I want your pants?"

"Let's try this again." This time, Krillin shook the damn crystal ball. Come on, come on, nothing weird this time. Oh please, don't show the aftermath of the poker game. Just a peaceful afternoon.

"You know," Juunanagou was squinting. "You can kind of see the reflection of that thing on your head."

Juuhachigou tilted her head. "Huh."

He wondered then if they could see the pink van that zoomed across the ball on his forehead. It moved with surprising grace across the landscape. When it flew past, the ex-monk caught sight of a different android in the back. Clad in a skintight black leotard and bright green armor, he had a small, peaceful smile on his long, roughly carved face. Passionless, electric blue eyes matched the pair in the front seat. His ridiculous Mohawk fluttered in the breeze.

Please, he prayed to an uncaring deity, please really don't show another strip poker game.

Thankfully, they were moving too quickly for a game of cards. Instead, the crystal focused on Juuhachigou, dressed absurdly in western wear, threatening to shove a tasseled boot up her brother's ass.

The dark-haired man dodged another kick. "Calm down."

"Just get me to another shop, or someone's home. Anything's better to wear than this."

"Really? What about some of the stuff Gero was trying to make us wear."

Juuhachigou paused. "Alright. That was worse. But still. Look at these shoulder pads."

"We'll find Goku, and kill him. Then you can get some new clothes."

"No. We need to stop now. Now, Juunanagou."

The other, new android smiled pleasantly vacantly at a bird flying low and near to his window. He was humming while the others in front argued over whether or not to stop now and which boot would soon go flying up Juunanagou's ass.

"Did you know that guy?" Krillin asked.

"Nope."

"Hey," He looked at the overlord. "They didn't kill Goku though, right? In that timeline."

"Nope."

"See!"

"Another one of Gero's creations did."

Krillin stared at the crystal, watching Juuhachigou threaten her brother in increasingly creative ways. He held the smooth globe in his hands, and shook it as hard as he could. "Something nice, something nice and normal and sweet and caring. How about something to do with the baby?"

The blonde woman only ten feet away, a single bound for her, sounded sick and furious. Her face was demonic, big hideous eyes and sharp teeth. Krillin nearly swallowed his tongue and fell over. Wanted to curl up into a ball and cower. Swallow his tongue before she could murder him in a more painful manner. "What baby? What baby?"

A giggling chubby ball of joy looked at them through the crystal ball. Then, as he heard Juunanagou's throat click and his sister's teeth grind, he wished that the child looked less than totally clearly his and Juuhachigou's. But with that pale yellow hair and wide black eyes, topped with the lack of nose, and there could be no mistake. She was giggling, and Krillin wished that since he would never so much as hold that child, the sound of her delight didn't make him want to pull a face and coo at the infant through the glass. Even with the searing ball of hatred so close to him, his daughter, or rather, that other Krillin's daughter, always made him want to smile.

Behind him, Krillin could actually hear the blonde cyborg seething. Her face was pale with rage and he wasn't sure if it was good or bad she looked so disgusted. He also wished that he wasn't so close to them. Juuhachigou's mouth was even drained of color.

"Well. So you mated with cue ball here and had a kid. Congrats! Sorry I missed the wedding."

Her words were black iron. "Shut up."

Juuhachigou scooped the baby out of the crib, firing off instructions to her twin brother. Krillin was shifting his weight from one foot to the other, anxious. He was pulling on a jacket, and hurriedly handing another to his wife. Come on come on, you could nearly hear him saying over and over again in his mind.

Carefully, she deposited her baby into the dark-haired man's arms. Maron was looking up at her uncle, with an expression that said clearly 'who the hell are you'. Juunanagou flinched. His smile was nervous and his eyes darted to her parent's. "And how long did you say you would be gone?"

"Just a few hours."

"She'll probably sleep through until we get back."

The other Krillin and Juuhachigou were barely holding back smirks.

"Well, alright. I guess I can watch her."

They fled out the door.

Juunanagou was staring solemnly back at the girl. "They're not coming back, are they?" Through the window behind him, Krillin and Juuhachigou were giving each other high-fives before flying away. Their smiles were as bright as the sun.

The baby was reaching out and grabbing a hunk of her uncle's hair. When, carefully, he extracted the dark strands from her tiny fists, Maron began to weep.

"Are you hungry?

"Sleepy?

"You don't need a new diaper, do you?

"I should have taken notes on what Juuhachigou said.

"Please tell me you don't need a new diaper.

He dangled his hair in front of her face. "It's okay; go ahead and pull.

"Just don't need another diaper."

But of course she did.

"Is that really us?" The androids just stared at the globe, looking blank and empty. Perhaps, perhaps ready to be filled with decency and empathy. Ready to turn over another leaf, as Vegeta had been after being defeated after Freiza, and how he'd sacrificed himself to give his family time. And hadn't the Saiyan prince killed so many more than these two? Confidence, always a flickering thing for Krillin, came rushing back.

"This is disgusting."

"Well, it's not like she can change her own diaper." The small fighter had to defend her; she was his daughter in another universe, after all. The child he'd never had.

The overseer of the otherworld stared at them all. His voice was gravel. "What is wrong with you all?"