Disappointment

I barely saw Anne, I was busier than never with the CD stuff and the fake relationship... It was a torture to me, having to be with Kim by my side... and Anne seemed busy too. On a weekend, I went to their house and she wasn't there, I asked Matt about her. He said she was in Colorado, I knew Kyle lived there...

"She has a surprise when she comes back, get ready for it."

I brought up the worst possibility.

"Is she pregnant?"

"No, it's not that much, don't even say that! When she comes back, she tells you in person..."

...

A couple of days later, I went back there and Anne was home, she was alone.

"Matt told me you have a surprise."

I was afraid about what I was gonna hear.

"Yeah... I learned how to play Paradise City…"

But I wasn't listening anymore. All of the sudden, I noticed something shining on her finger. I took her hand and recognized it straight away. But I couldn't believe that...

"What's this ring?"

Her hand was instantly cold.

"It's just a ring..."

"This is an engagement ring... what is this, Anne? Are you engaged?

I was paralyzed waiting for the answer. I saw her expression going from hesitation to challenging.

"Yes, I am. He proposed and I said yes. We are getting married!"

I felt like a hand was squeezing my heart...

"But... like that... so fast... you are not together for that long... are you sure?"

I couldn't hide de desperation look on my face.

"Yes. He loves me, he does everything for me and I like him a lot. There's no reason to wait. Don't worry, you'll be invited."

"Don't kid me Anne. You know what I'm talking about. What about us?

"There is no US, David. You made sure of this when you didn't care about us. And now, you're with her. We go separate ways from now on. We are only friends, as we always were.

I asked her the ultimate question.

"Is that what you really want?"

I wanted to hold her.

"Yes, it is."

There was a lump in my throat.

"Ok, then. I hope he can make you happy. I really do."

I was being honest. What I really wanted was to see her happy. I realized I had nothing else to do there, and I turned around to leave….

"David?"

I turned back to her. The last thing I needed was her telling me she was really pregnant.

"Can you give me one reason not to marry Kyle?"

It was paralyzed, did not see that coming. I stared at her, I didn't know what to do. Every part of my body and soul wanted to hold that girl, hug her, kiss every part of her… for one second I decided to give up on everything and do it, but when I was about to take the first step, I stopped. I couldn't risk it, there was to many things at stake… I never answered something with such a big lie and so much pain in my heart...

"I can' t. I'm sorry."

I turned around and left.

I leaned on the door, and I couldn't hold my tears. I had been a coward for giving up on the only person I really liked because of a damn contract… I had just lost her, maybe forever, for not having the guts to send all of that to hell… I thought about going back, I put my hand on the doorknob to get in again, but once again my coward side won. I couldn't. I left feeling the worst person in the world, and the most lonely. I had to forget about Anne...