Chapter 19

Stefan knew that he should have been surprised by Damon's declaration of love for Bonnie, but truthfully, he wasn't. Although Damon and Bonnie liked to pretend that they hated each other, Stefan had always noticed something between them. A spark, maybe. At one point, he had chalked it up to wishful thinking on his part, hopeful that his brother would find someone other than Elena to set his baby blues on. But even as Stefan's relationship with Elena ended, he could see something between Damon and Bonnie.

Damon's constant need to irritate and tease Bonnie reminded Stefan of a schoolyard boy who had a crush on a girl and acted on it by pulling her pigtails. He always said that he didn't care about her, but his actions showed otherwise. There was a softness in his eyes when he looked at her or spoke about her that let Stefan know that Damon respected Bonnie. He respected her opinion and her power and despite his protests otherwise, he liked her. And not just because Elena wanted him to.

Stefan noticed that even though Bonnie started with a genuine and justified hate for Damon, her opinion of him began to change. She sparred with him like a sibling, held him to her high standards and never let him use charm or excuses to get his way with her. When it came time to get the job done, she trusted Damon. And Stefan may have caught her staring at him a time or two.

He had all of that in mind when he finally answered his brother with, "now why would you want to do that?"

Damon frowned. "Did you hear what I said? I'm in love with Bonnie."

"I heard you," Stefan said casually as he leaned against the door frame.

"Aren't you surprised?"

"Should I be?"

Damon looked even more confused than before. "Yeah. It's Bonnie."

"Yeah, I got that. I'm just not surprised. It was bound to happen some time or another. I guess it took you dying and being stuck together to see what I saw all along."

"Oh God," Damon groaned, "not another Stefan Salvatore I-told-you-so moment."

"Well, technically, I never told you that I thought Bonnie was perfect for you but I did think it."

He pushed himself off the door frame and sat next to Damon on the edge of the bed.

"So, what's this about not wanting to love her anymore?" he asked.

Damon sighed. "Long story short, we were happy on the Other Side. I want to continue that happy on this side, but she says no because she's not sure our feelings are real and she doesn't want to hurt Elena."

Stefan cracked a smile. Leave it to Damon to recap six months of time in two sentences.

"I see," he said. "Then you should just show her your feelings are real."

"What if they're not?" he asked, in a rare moment of vulnerability.

"Do you think you would have turned away a naked Elena if they weren't?"

This time, Damon cracked the smile. "Good point."

Stefan clasped his hand on his brother's shoulder. "My suggestion? Don't seduce her. We all know you're good at that but it won't impress Bonnie. Be her friend. Show her you're sincere. Court her. Woo her."

"Woo her?" Damon asked with a short laugh. "This isn't the 1860's, brother."

"No, but she wants to know that what you have is worth potentially losing her best friend over."

Stefan could tell that his statement settled into Damon's heart by the way his lips formed a tight line. He patted his shoulder again and said, "you've always gone after what you want. Why should Bonnie be any different?"

"I can't believe you're encouraging this. Me, evil bad Damon going after pure, good-hearted Bonnie."

"She's good for you. And you're good for her. And believe it or not, I want to see you happy."

"All right, all right, enough with the mushy stuff. Get out before I vomit."

Stefan grinned, and not just because he was excited to see Damon pursue a healthy relationship for the first time in his life. He grinned because he was happy to have his brother back.

...

Bonnie awoke to the sounds of hard knocking on her front door and the repeated ringing of her door bell. She groaned and tried to bury her head under the pillows, but the knocks and rings kept coming. She grunted and angrily threw the comforter off of her body. She blindly reached for something to cover herself up with and she settled for one of the sweatshirts she had taken from Jeremy. She ran a hand over the tangled hair that she had forgotten to wrap and finger-combed it to the best of her ability. She trudged down the steps and looked through her peephole to find a very distressed-looking Elena and a worried Caroline.

She groaned again.

"Guys, it's 7 in the morning," she said with a scratchy throat after she opened the door. "What the hell is so important right now?"

Elena's brown eyes were filled with tears and as soon as she opened her mouth, the waterworks started.

"Damon broke up with me," she cried.

And that woke Bonnie up instantly. She straightened up and her green eyes widened and immediately darted to Caroline.

"What?" was all Bonnie could muster.

"He said he met someone while you guys were on the Other Side," Elena sobbed. "He said he still loves her. Bonnie, I'm heartbroken!"

She threw her tall, slim frame into Bonnie's arms and cried like everyone she knew had just died. Bonnie awkwardly rubbed Elena's back while trying to silently communicate with Caroline, who shook her head and mouthed, "I'm sorry!" Bonnie knew she would have to get the details later, but for the moment, she needed to comfort her friend.

"I'm so sorry, Lena," she said sincerely. "Did he...did he say who she was?"

She hoped her question didn't give her away as much as she feared it did, but Elena's vehement shaking of her head put her at ease. Somewhat.

"N-no," Elena said.

"Okay, you guys come in," Bonnie said.

She helped Elena inside and directed her to the bathroom so she could clean off her face. Once she was in the bathroom with the door closed, Bonnie yanked Caroline into the kitchen and started the blender.

"What the hell?" she asked in a softest whisper she could.

"I tried to call and warn you," Caroline said. "She texted me about it last night and I spent the night at her house listening to her cry and babble about Damon and his 'mystery woman.'"

Bonnie's head began to hurt and she grabbed her temples.

"This is so bad."

"She doesn't know it's you," Caroline offered in a reassuring tone.

"But I know it's me! I can't believe he broke up with her, just like that! I told him that we can't be together right now. Why would he do that?"

Caroline's lips formed a sad smile and she cocked her head to the side. "Because he loves you, Bon."

Before Bonnie could even process the depth of that statement, Elena reappeared, still looking worse for wear. She'd cleaned off her runny mascara but her eyes were puffy and cheeks red.

"What's with the blender?" she asked, through sniffles.

"Oh, uh," Bonnie started, stumbling to come up with a believable lie.

"We were going to make margaritas," Caroline jumped in. "I think we all need to be drunk for this conversation."

"Yes," Bonnie agreed. "Margaritas at 7 AM. It's that kind of day, right?"

"Definitely," Elena said sadly, none the wiser.

Caroline and Bonnie shared another look and Bonnie knew it was going to be an absurdly long day. She hadn't even had her memories back for 24 hours and already her life was a shit storm, all thanks to Damon and his impulsivity. She excused herself to brush her teeth and do something with hair that she was sure had to be sticking up all over the place, and she hurried upstairs. As soon as she closed the door, she reached for her phone, intent on calling Damon and asking him what the hell his problem was. Before she could do that, though, she saw three missed calls from Caroline, probably all to warn her about Elena, and a text from Damon. Bonnie wasn't sure why her fingers shook as she clicked on the message bubble, but she tried to slow her heart rate down as she read the long message from him.

judgey, i'm sure by the time you read this you will already know that elena and i may or may not have broken up. i didn't actually say those words but she was pretty upset and i can connect the dots. before you call me in a rage, just know that i was trying to be decent for once and not lead her on when i want to be with someone else. i know you need space and time...i will give you whatever space you need. but you know me, i don't give up without a fight and right now, i'm fighting for you. i can already see your scrunched up judgey little face. get over it.

Bonnie really didn't want to smile or feel her heart flutter over his message, but she couldn't help it. It was so Damon and in his own way, it was very sweet. Her annoyance with him fizzled just as quickly as it began, and she put the phone down and went about her morning routine. When she went back downstairs, it appeared as though Elena had already gone through two margaritas and maybe even a couple of shots. Bonnie bypassed the drinks and headed for the tea.

"So," she started, "what happened?"

"It was so embarrassing, Bon," Elena said in that weak, hurt tone that she had mastered over many years of heartache. "He's been distant ever since you guys got back and so I thought I would do something sexy for him to get him in the mood, you know?"

Bonnie tried to ignore the prick of jealousy in her veins. "Uh huh."

"So I laid out on his bed, totally naked, ready to do whatever I had to do to get my Damon back. When he came home, he acted like he wasn't even interested." She sniffled. "When I called him out on it, he admitted that he has feelings for someone else. Some slut he met on the Other Side."

Bonnie's jaws tensed and her eyes quickly darted to Caroline, who looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there.

"Look, Elena, I know you're upset..."

"Do you know her?" Elena asked suddenly, looking up from her drink. Her eyes bored into Bonnie's with hope that she might get some information on the woman who'd stolen Damon's heart.

"Uh...what?"

"You were with Damon, right? He said it was just like another version of Mystic Falls. Do you know the girl he was with?"

Panic swept over every pore of Bonnie's body and she hoped like hell that the vampires couldn't hear her heart about to explode. She didn't want to lie to her friend, and she had never been a good liar anyway. But she couldn't very well tell her it was her. Elena would have probably jumped over the counter and ripped her throat out. She again looked at Caroline, who was clearly trying to come up with anything to say to help Bonnie out.

"Bon?" Elena asked after a couple of moments of tense silence.

"Yes, I knew her," Bonnie blurted out. Elena's eyes widened, as did Caroline's. "I...I saw them together a few times. I didn't know it had gotten that serious."

"Why would he do that?" Elena cried. "And why didn't you tell me?!"

"You were with Stefan," she responded. "You were happy. Caroline was with Matt and everything was great, Lena. There were no vampires or werewolves or freaky supernatural stuff. We were all best friends again and we did things together without having to look over our shoulders. Damon and I had no reason to think we would ever come back and since you were with Stefan, I guess he thought he needed to move on."

As the words settled into Elena's ears, she calmed down a little bit. Her posture softened and she got that sad look in her eyes again.

"What was she like?" she asked softly.

"She was...good to him. And good for him. And the Other Side version of you liked her a lot. You were friends."

Elena pouted, then her lips trembled, then she cried. Caroline and Bonnie went to her sides and rubbed her back while she sobbed.

"It's just not fair," she said through tears. "That girl is gone and he's not getting her back. Why can't he just get over her?"

"Well, Damon was dead for six months and you didn't get over him, sweetie," Caroline said softly. Elena only cried in response and Caroline finally did what she always did best: make the most of a bad situation. "Look, Elena, I know you're upset and you probably don't want to hear this right now, but this is a good thing."

"How is this good?!"

"Because your relationship with Damon has always been crazy and toxic and it was never going to last. You weren't going to spend eternity with him and now it's time for you to start over. What you had was passionate and exciting while it lasted but it's done now and he's someone else's problem. You should be happy."

Bonnie narrowed her eyes and mouthed, "thanks a lot." Caroline smiled and shrugged.

They spent the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon trying to talk Elena off a ledge. When she finally seemed stable enough to go home, Bonnie ushered them out and then slid against the back of her closed door and sighed. She hated knowing that she was the source of her friend's pain, but Caroline was right. Elena's relationship with Damon had always been kind of weird and toxic and they brought out the worst in each other, rather than the best.

Bonnie just wanted to crawl into her tub and sink into the hot water for hours, but there was a knock on her door before she could do that. She groaned loudly.

"What is it?" she asked loud enough for the person knocking to hear.

"Bon? It's me," Jeremy called back.

In all the drama of Elena and Damon, somehow Jeremy had completely slipped Bonnie's mind. She softly banged her head against the door and groaned again. She didn't have the energy to deal with him or anybody else, but she felt guilty about blowing him off. So she made herself get up and open the door.

"Jer, hey," she said.

"You okay? You look wiped."

"Yeah, it's been a long day. Elena and Damon broke up and she's really upset about it."

"Wow, that sucks, I guess."

Bonnie cracked a small smile and leaned against the door.

"Look, I know we haven't spent much time together lately and I don't want you to feel like I'm ignoring you, but I'm exhausted and I doubt I'd be good company right now."

"That's okay," he said with the boyish smile. "I just want to be around you, Bonnie. Can we just hang for like thirty minutes? We don't even have to talk."

A wave of guilt blanketed Bonnie. She had always wanted the kind of relationship with a guy that cherished her and she had that with Jeremy, yet in the back of her mind, she wanted to be left alone so she could sort out what was going on with Damon. A part of her wanted to come clean to Jeremy just like Damon had with Elena, but the timing was wrong and she didn't want people to put the pieces together that she was the one Damon had loved. She just wasn't ready for the fallout from that.

"Sure," she said with a small smile. "Come in."

They settled onto the couch in the living room and Bonnie handed the remote to Jeremy. He put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. She got a strong whiff of his cologne, which she had always loved, but it didn't smell like Damon. It wasn't the arrogantly manly scent that both drove her crazy and made her want more. He didn't feel like Damon. He didn't hold her like Damon.

"I'll be right back," she said and slid off the couch. She went up to her room and sat on the bed as she stared at her phone. She wanted to call Damon but that was too risky with Jeremy in the house. So she opened his message, re-read it and sent a reply.

I got your text. I'm not avoiding you...it's just been a long day. Caroline and Elena left not too long ago.

She waited anxiously for a minute or two before he responded.

can i come over?

She bit her lip. She supposed that she could tell Jeremy that his time was up and let Damon come over, but that felt dishonest and slimy.

Jeremy's here.

Damon didn't respond and Bonnie's fingers were flying over the cell phone as she tried to explain.

I'm not rejecting you. I just feel bad pushing him away and he hasn't done anything wrong. You told me you would give me time and space, so don't be mad while I figure things out.

He didn't respond, and Bonnie waited for more than ten minutes. The guilt was coming at her from both sides, guilt for wanting to be with Damon and guilt for not wanting to hurt Jeremy. She knew that Damon was upset and he was dangerous when he was upset. So despite her reservations about telling him how she felt, she was pretty sure it would keep him satisfied for the time being.

I love you, she typed.

Her heart thumped and her palms broke into a sweat as she awaited his answer. She felt a little relief when she saw that he was typing back, and when she read his response, she broke into a full grin.

i love you too. i guess.

It wasn't the most romantic sentiment in the world, but in Damon-speak, it was all she could ask for.