The Private Farewell

At the very beginning of Lost in Time, we learn Oliver will be the sacrifice to Hell. Of course, he doesn't know this for sure until the end of the book, and when he does, he accepts it because he doesn't have anything to live for, since Schuyler's gone (GAG ME). If you've read the book (SPOILERS), you know Mimi changes her mind at the last second and sells her own soul instead, gaining it back when she's unable to kill Jack in the blood trial.

Going with my theme of Oliver-has-someone-who-cares-for-him-and-loves-him-like-he-so-obviously-needs, things are a bit complicated when he finds out he's not going back to New York.

"Before I do this, can I have a moment with Ellie?" Oliver inclined his head toward her. "I'd like to say goodbye to her without anyone watching."

"Embarrassed?" Mimi joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"I'd never be embarrassed about being with her. I'd just like a moment alone to tell her goodbye." His eyes hardened. "Am I allowed that much?"

Mimi nodded. "I guess so. Don't make it too long, though."

Oliver exhaled, setting his jaw and limping toward Eloise. "Hey, Ellie. Can I talk to you real quick?"

Her face fell. Oliver was sure nothing else on earth – or in Hell – could break his heart.

"Alright…" she said slowly, following him around to the back of the gas station.

They stood for a moment in complete silence. How was he supposed to tell her? He couldn't exactly come out and say he wasn't going back home with her. But he didn't know how much time he had to send her off.

"Just do it already," she said, her voice thick. "Do it before I start to cry, okay?"

Oliver stopped, frowning. "You know?"

"Why else would you say, 'Can I talk to you'? I'm not stupid, Oliver." She sighed. "I know I won't live up to Schuyler or Freya or even Mimi, and I'm sorry that I'm too normal for you, and that I'm saving myself for marriage. Maybe it was a bad idea to even try going out. I get it."

"Ellie, what are you talking about?"

"You're breaking up with me, aren't you?"

"No…why would I…"

She was afraid that she wasn't good enough. Her mind was still on the lair of the sirens, of the girl-who-wasn't-Schuyler. She thought he didn't see her that way anymore.

"Ellie, I'm not breaking up with you," Oliver said, tilting her chin up so he could look in her tear-blurred eyes. "You are so much more special than you think you are. You don't have to worry about living up to anyone else, because I like you just as you are. And I'm glad you're saving yourself. I would never pressure you into something you didn't want to do. You know that."

Eloise nodded, her lip quivering.

"Hey…" Oliver gave her a small smile. "Don't look so sad, Ellie."

"I can't help it."

"Ellie, if you're still thinking about-"

"You're the sacrifice, aren't you?"

Oliver froze, not knowing how to respond. That was all she needed.

"That was my second guess," Eloise said, her tears falling rapidly.

"Oh, jeez. Ellie…" Oliver pulled her to him, securing her in his strong embrace. He held her close, feeling his own eyes start to burn.

"I won't let her do it," Eloise said into his shirt. "You can't go alone. I'll come with."

"No, Ellie, don't," Oliver said, his hold tightening. "You have Lucy to think about. You're one of the best scribes at the Repository. You have to go back."

"I don't want to go back without you." She looked up into his hazel eyes. "You don't deserve this."

Oliver wanted to tell her he felt the same way. Mimi was being selfish right now; she got her love back, only to tear his apart. He couldn't bear to spend another day in the underworld, where everything was always a little too much. But the thought of being separated from Eloise was even worse.

"I'll go in your place," Eloise said, slowly pulling away. "I'll tell Mimi that she can have me instead."

"Ellie, no," Oliver said, his tears rolling down his cheeks. "You need to go back. I don't want you to stay down here. You know how the Glom treats you."

"Oliver, you'll die down here."

He didn't contradict her. Although the effects of the Glom were more pronounced on her, he knew he wouldn't last long in the land of the dead.

"There isn't another way, is there?" Eloise asked, although she already knew the answer.

"I wish there were."

"And I can't change your mind?"

He shook his head.

"Oliver, please don't tell me you're doing this because you feel like you have nothing to live for." She was glaring at him, breathing heavily from crying. "You have your parents to think about, and the Coven. Staying in Hell is permanent; you can't come back. Even if you still love Schuyler-"

He backed her into the wall and kissed her hard. Her words had been tearing his heart further in two; he couldn't let her say anything else.

He'd never kissed her like this before. They were usually chaste and loving, much like their relationship. But with the thought that he'd never see her again, Oliver didn't hold back. He groaned softly when she pulled him closer, moving down her jaw line to kiss her neck. He felt her stiffen beneath his lips, but she melted into his arms, her hands twined in his hair.

He pulled away and pressed his mouth to hers once more before resting their foreheads together. "Eloise, look at me," he demanded softly. She met his gaze; he never called her Eloise, not even when he was serious.

"I don't want you to leave here thinking any of that, okay? My heart belongs to you; it always will. I feel bad that we didn't have long to spend together as a couple, but I don't regret the time we did have. These past seven months have been nothing short of amazing. And…" He swallowed, feeling his throat close up. "…I don't want you to live your life wondering about me all the time. I want you to find someone else who will love you, and build you your greenhouse, and kiss you awake every morning."

She cupped the side of his face, brushing away his tears. "What about you? There's nothing down here but sirens and prostitutes. I…I want you to be happy…" She started to shake, wrought with sobs.

"I'll figure something out," he said, unsure himself. He didn't want to think about it right now. All he wanted was to feel her against his chest.

"She can't do this…" came Eloise's muffled voice. "She can't do this…"

"I'll be fine, Ellie," he said into her hair. "Don't worry."

He couldn't let her know how terrified he really was, but if she was safe, that was all that mattered to him. He had meant it when he'd told her that she had his heart. He was very sure, even with the temptations of the underworld, there would only ever be her.

"Come on, now," he said, reluctantly releasing her. "We have to get you back home."

She nodded, tears clinging to her eyelashes. Before they rounded the corner to hand Oliver over, she pulled him close. She stood on her toes, holding his face in her hands and kissing him one last time.

"I love you, Eloise," he whispered against her lips as they broke apart. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," she replied, wrapping her arms around his waist.

He held her for another moment, taking her in, making sure he remembered how it felt to have her so close to his heart.

They walked back, holding hands, trying their best to erase their emotions.

"Where were you two?" Kinglsey asked. "Or do I even have to guess?" He waggled his eyebrows, smirking at them.

"Well, I think Helda wants to see the two of us," Mimi said. "Ready, Oliver?"

He nodded, smiling sadly at Eloise. She returned it as he kissed the back of her hand, slowly letting go.