"There's an old voice in my head
that's holding me back
Well tell her that I miss our little talks."
Morgana was dressed in black now and plotting with Morgause to take over Camelot. Uther was their target but they'd determined that Arthur was no good either. Morgause had her doubts about whether Merlin should be left to live in their kingdom. Morgana declared his devotion to Camelot's people was most strong, even more than Arthur's. Morgause said Merlin would be put in trial and later promised life or death after review. Morgana wouldn't let Morgause kill the man she loved but she never dared to speak of her feelings. She'd do what it took to keep him alive. Even if it might mean killing her sister.
"I'm going for a stroll, Morgause, I can't seem to sleep. Would you care to join me?" They were camping nearby in an old druid village. It was well hidden by mossy trees and the valleys kept them high above hunters and search parties. Morgause told Morgana she would remain behind to protect the camp. It was the answer that Morgana expected, the one she'd been hoping to hear.
An hour later Morgana found herself standing in front of Merlin in a cave on the shore front of a lake found between Camelot and her camp. They would meet up whenever they could communicate. Morgause never knew about it, at least Morgana assumed this to be true. She'd never broached the topic or ended the meetings. She probably didn't know, Morgana guessed. Morgause wouldn't have let something like that, not a chance.
"Morgana." Merlin hummed. In spite of her role in the enemy's team he loved her just as much. They embraced for a long time before they parted. Merlin looked tired and beaten. Arthur surely had him working twice as often and twice as hard. Morgause and she had been attacking endlessly, never letting their guard down and weakening the defenses. Merlin begged Morgana to stop but she told him that it would never happen. She dreamed of a land where magic was no longer outlawed. They tried to avoid the topic most of the time when they met since it was so rare they be together.
"I miss you so often. I miss sneaking around for kisses and stealing you away from chores." Morgana enjoyed the life she had before, minus the fact that Uther was pure evil. Merlin took her hands in his but was quick to let them fall from his grasp. He was troubled by something.
"Morgana, this tirade has to end. Arthur had a destiny to create a perfect land in which magic could be used freely without prejudice. Each day you attack, each day you kill, he strays further from that path. I cannot set him right if you do not let me." Merlin was sitting on a stump nearby running fingers through his hair. Something about the coldness in his voice hinted to her that there was significantly more to the conversation that he hinted. This wasn't about Camelot anymore. She feared it was about them.
"There are times when I question if I've made the right decision. It's like I hear myself from many years ago reminding me that Uther's hatred stems from his wife's death, that he's scared of what he doesn't understand. It's a pestering noise but I can't help but feel this is the only way. I battle myself every day." Morgana admitted that she struggled regularly to maintain her role in the fight to end the Pendragon line and take over Camlot. Merlin's eyes were hidden by shadows but his tears shimmered in the moonlight and she could almost hear his words before he spoke them.
"If that Morgana ever returns, the Morgana that I fell in love with, let her know that I miss her. Let her know I'll be waiting." And as quickly as they'd met he was leaving on the stolen horse. Morgana couldn't believe that the relationship they'd managed to maintain was over. It didn't needed to be explicitly stated for the message to be clear. Morgana's heart stopped beating and she fell to the ground with a high pitched wail. Any passersby who might be awake could have mistaken her for a banshee.