A/N Warning: How small described it may be, this chapter contains graphic descriptions of heinous crimes and/or torture. Starting at about 3\4 of this chapter.

Chapter 12

It's two days after they arrived at the first house besides a couple of short naps Olivia was awake for 3 days. And after the week they've had Alex started to get a bit worried about the brunette Detective. Olivia had taken the night shift with either Debby or Chris. Casey and Abby also noticed that the Detective was not as relaxed as they thought she would be. Olivia was used to high profile and sometimes dangerous cases. They know it's different this time but still with all the security and protection the attorneys thought they should be relatively safe. And now on the third day they decided to talk with Olivia about staying awake the entire time. Abby and Casey both thought that it will be for the best that Alex leads the conversation for their part. Most likely Olivia is less hostile to the blonde ADA. Even though they have the most heated arguments, they also are the one they trust the most.

"Liv, you're awake for 3 days in a row now and it's not like you slept 6 hours a night the days before that. You need to get some sleep and I don't mean the naps you take. They don't count. Are you coming to bed with me tonight?" Alex asks.

"That depends on whether or not Hammond gets us our new identities and new homes tomorrow. And how far they are with tracking down Lewis. If we're gonna stay here longer he will add an other Agent and then I'm gonna sleep tonight. I know Debby and Chris enough for me to trust them now, the new one I don't know and I won't go to sleep if I don't trust him or her yet." Olivia answers.

"What's the real reason you don't wanna sleep, Detective? I know you Liv and I know that it's something else. There's an other reason." Alex asks.

"No there's not. I have the persons closest to me here in the house and I need to protect them. That's what I'm doing. I know what I'm doing, Lex. I'm used to this." Olivia answers.

"Benson we know you pull 72 hour shifts with major cases. We all were your ADA at some point. Hell till a few days ago Casey and Alex still were. But this is different, before the past 3 days you didn't sleep that much neither. Alex is right." Abby says.

"No she isn't and neither are you. I'm trained for this and I'm not talking about the few days we go around the clock at the precinct with major cases. I'm talking about my years in ESO and the training I had every year to keep up to date. Or did you think that those weeks that Cragen forced me to take off, I stayed home doing nothing? He covered for me and ordered me to take those off. In reality I went to train. So trust me the naps I take are enough for me. I'm not in cop mode, I'm in ESO mode." Olivia says.

"Ain't those ops with a team? You have your team mates that have your back." Abby asks.

"There are ops with a team there also are ops you do solo. You don't have anyone having your back then. You're on your own no one covering you and no one having your back. There were ops for a few days but I've also done ops that went going for a couple of weeks. Some less dangerous some not. You take some sleep when you can most of the time that means you have an hour here or there but nothing like sleeping an entire night. And certainly not a house secured like this. Now you may think we are safe here and in a certain way we are but that doesn't mean I can lay back and hit the hay. First there are too many uncertainties, too many things I don't know and I need to know to even consider laying back. Second the moment you let your guard down you are vulnerable and an easy target because you can't react as fast as you need to when something does happen. I made that mistake once and I almost paid for it with my life I'm not gonna make the same mistake twice especially when it's not only my life on the line. FBI Agents may be trained but they are not even close to be in the same league as guys like Lewis going after me and therefore you all. Hammond didn't ask for nothing if I had a back up plan, he knows how dangerous those people are. As long as we don't have new identities and things aren't more clear I won't take a step back. And since you all think I can relax and sleep at night maybe I do need to tell you about the security this house has and show you it. It's your choice." Olivia explains.

Alex, Abby and Casey look at each other. Olivia is right, they don't know the amount of danger they're in. And maybe knowing about the security the house has will make them understand it. Alex hesitates though. She knows what Velez and his men were capable of and she knows the level of danger that means she doesn't know if she wants to know and understand perfectly what kind of danger they are in now. Olivia sees the hesitation in the younger woman's eyes.

"Alex, you don't have to do this. You know the level of danger Velez could put anyone in, you don't have to see the security to understand what kind of danger we are in now. Because trust me what I'm about to tell and show will make you understand it perfectly. And I'm warning all of you, you will be shocked at what I'm showing you if you make the decision to see it. So Lex if you don't want to and Casey and Abs want to, you can stay in the kitchen with Chris and Dakota. Because there is no way in hell that I'm showing a teenager this. It's your choice, for all of you and I won't hold it against you if you don't want to." Olivia says.

"I tried the Connor trial and Abby is or was a federal prosecutor, we know what Velez was capable of. We know what kind of danger you are in if you get guys like him against you. Do you agree, Abby?" Casey asks.

"I do." Abby answers.

"No you don't know it. You think you know but you don't, neither of you needed to hide for three years of your life, lose everything you had including yourself, you don't have a clue what Alex went through or the amount of danger she was in and you certainly have no fucking clue what we are talking about now. So don't say that you know it. Alex, Hammond and I are the only one of us all that truly understand it. And saying this or agreeing with it confirms what I thought so I'm gonna give you the grand tour for the house. Don't ever say you know or understand again because even though you are my friends and good friends, I will kick your ass if you do! Not until you really know what you are saying and really understand it because you get the experience of it yourself. Understood?!" Olivia asks, more like growls.

It makes the Detective furious and very protective of Alex with what Casey and Abby just said. Maybe she over reacts a bit but when it comes to Alex there are no limits. Casey and Abby knows that or at least should know it a bit.

"Whoa, Detective Badass, calm down. No need to get violent. We're not dumb and we're not attacking your gal here!" Abby spats back.

Olivia turns her head to Alex.

"Lex do you want to come with us or not?" Olivia asks softly.

"I want to come with you." Alex softly answers.

"Alright, go get Debby and quickly explains to Dakota she needs to stay in the kitchen until we come back. Please?" Olivia asks.

"Ok. Don't kill them in the mean time Detective, I know you only protect me but it gives such a mess to clean up if you do it." Alex jokes, trying to relax Olivia a bit.

"I won't. I'm gonna show them something else before we go and that also something that I don't want Dakota to see either." Olivia answers seriously but with a small smile around her lips.

Alex walks to the kitchen quickly and explains in a few words the situation to Dakota and Debby and then walks back with Debby following her out of the kitchen and into the living room. Just when Alex and Debby are entering the living room they heard Olivia last words.

"...So in order to make you understand what guys like Bishop, McCaid and Lewis are doing and capable of doing without caring about the damage they cost, I do it in the only way I know to make it clear after I showed you the house." Olivia says, looking at Casey and Abby.

Olivia heard Alex coming back into the living room. She decides to keep doing what she just said. The Detective knows that at some point and probably sooner than later Alex would see what she didn't see earlier. And decides to get over with it now that she has the nerves. She turns to Debby and asks for the key before she starts walking to the office motioning the others to follow her. Once they all are inside the office Olivia gives the three attorneys a few moments to let them take in all that they are seeing before she starts giving the same explanation she gave the FBI Agents earlier. Abby and Casey are beyond being normally shocked with what they see and hear. Alex is shocked but not at the same level as Abby and Casey are. It does confirm what she feared for though. After the three women collected themselves again Olivia walks out of the office holding the door open for the others. When they all are outside the office Olivia locks it again and gives the key back to Debby. Then she leads them all back to the living room and walks to the bookshelves and takes out a book which make the bookshelves turn and shows the armored door. Olivia opens the panel and opens the door by looking in the scanner first and then puts her hand on a second scanner for her fingerprints. After the door opens she holds it and tells the four women to walk inside. Hesitatingly each one of them steps inside. Even Debby is a bit scared of what she will see inside. Alex walks in last and Olivia follows behind her as she let go of the door it locks again. The women stand next to each other when Olivia turns to them.

"Don't worry I can open the door from here too. At your right behind the curtains is a small food storage it contains food for 6 persons for about 1 week and things like plates, cups, cutlery, towels, soap, clothes and that sort of things. Next to it, behind the door is a small bathroom with a toilet and a small shower. Behind you and on my right side in that closet, which again only I can open, is a small weapon arsenal and small arsenal of light artillery. As I said earlier it's not easy to get into the house and even harder to get trough the door of this room but should someone being able to enter the house I also will know it from inside here and can prepare myself for a possible fight or attack. The three couches are also three two persons bed if you pull them out. So everything I needed or we need now is here. All of this show the amount of danger we are in, I think." Olivia explains.

"Ya think? For as far as we didn't know or understand it before your little speech about us not knowing what Alex went trough and ya kicking our ass' we did it after that, and there ain't nothing left for our imagination now." Abby says shocked.

"I know for certain that I don't want to know what the other house is like after all of this." Casey adds, equally shocked.

"You even got me scared and I'm not getting scared, afraid or shocked that easily anymore." Debby says softly.

"This sounds weird but I'm scared and reassured at the same time. Scared because my fears are confirmed with everything you showed us and reassured at the same time because of what you showed us and with that letting us know how well prepared you are and what you do to keep us safe." Alex says softly.

"I'll just let you all take this in for a few moments and collect yourselves together again a bit before I continue." Olivia says gently.

The four women only nods. Alex walks to one of the couches and looks back over shoulder to Olivia. The Detective nods and walks to the blonde ADA. They both are sitting down on the couch, Abby and Casey take a seat on an other couch and Debby takes the last couch. They sit there for a couple of minutes before Olivia speaks up again.

"Alright now that you know about the danger we are in I'm gonna show you what guys like this are capable of. Debby go sit next to Alex, please. That way I can show you it all of you together." Olivia says, standing up.

Debby stands up and walks to the couch where Alex is sitting on and takes a seat next to her. Olivia takes a few steps to the right so that she is in the middle in front of the two couches and takes a couple of deep breaths. Then the Detective takes the hem of her sweatshirt and undershirt and pulls them over her head in one swift motion.

"What the hell are you doing, Liv?" Abby asks her eyes as big as saucers.

"Shut up, listen and look Counselor before I lose my nerves." Olivia answers softly and sternly.

Olivia pulls of her sweatpants and stands in front of 4 shocked women in her bra and tight men's boxer shorts. The Detective's body is covered with scars from knives, cigarette burns, other torture and bullet wounds. Olivia takes a deep breath before she pulls up the pipes of her boxer shorts a bit then starts pointing at the scars.

"These are from my 15th birthday when Bishop and McCaid decided with two of their buddies to celebrate my birthday by using my body as their personal ashtray." Olivia says pointing at over a dozen cigarette burns.

"These are from the time 5 men including them thought it was fun to see how many times they could cut me with a razor blade, tight to a chair and gagged, before I would pass out." Olivia says pointing at small scars all over her stomach and thighs and upper arms.

"These are from the night that 6 men, again with them, decided to play a twisted version of Russian roulette with two guns after an entire night of being their 'whore'. Their words not mine." Olivia says almost whispering, pointing at a scare at her stomach and one right under her left breast.

"I let down my guard after they left from having their 'party' thinking that they wouldn't come back anymore for that night. And I almost paid for it with my life. Although at that time I didn't care if I had died. That was the last time they did something. After I left the hospital I went back to my mom and lived with her for a few months before I left her house for good." Olivia says softly.

"These are from one of the days the made me watch one of their own, who was about to snitch, getting tortured and killed, as warning signs with a combat knife. It was in the sixth week I was at the facility." Olivia says with a slight tremble in her voice, pointing at 3 scars, one at her the right side of her upper torso, one at her the outer side of her right knee and one at her left upper arm.

By now all four women sat there shocked deep into their souls. They knew how much danger they were in after seeing the office and the panic room. They now have an idea of what these kinds of men are capable of and did to torture someone while they saw it as having fun.

"I don't think I have to tell about other times worse or less bad than I already told you now." Olivia says softly, putting her clothes back on.

A/N 2 For those of you that may be thinking this isn't possible in the real world, it is possible and it does happen. How horrific it is but it is true. There are people that are going trough all of this sort of heinous crimes and there is nothing they can do about it. My sympathy goes out to all the victims and survivors of those horrifying crimes and manage to be able to live their lives afterwards. Some of them even being able to get their lives back on track somehow. I have a deep respect for them.