—

4 Flamerule

"The very minor detail of murdering a child and making my boy Fall," Aquerna lectured. Ajantis himself sat silently on the ground, next to a sputtering, white-ashed fire set in a small pit. His eyes were wide and unmoving, and he yet seemed both blind and deaf to the world. It was a condition to be envied.

"Shut up and stop telling her," Imoen lashed out. "I don't care—I do care—of course I care—but you're not helping and I wish you'd just be quiet and pretend to be a normal squirrel again."

"The lady of the forests has every right to speak out," Faldorn said. "Would you deprive one of Nature's creations of the voice she has earned?"

"Heck, she isn't one of Nature's creations anyway!" Imoen said. "She's a paladin's animal and they're from like the planes and..." She paused. "And they're supposed to go away, and they're not squirrels—"

"My punishment for arrogance as my Lord Helm has punished me now by turning his face by leaving me alone," Ajantis spoke in a flat monotone, still looking at nothing.

"—But they're still s'posed to go away, after—things happen." Imoen slammed a fist into her palm. "So what the heck's up with you, you lying little—"

"It may well be," Aquerna's not-precisely-a-voice hissed, "that little boys trained strictly; little boys whose families know any wild weaving as a grave sin and dire shame; little boys who throw themselves to prayer; little boys who deny what is in them; that if that little boy asks too soon for a companion of a different sort; that one cloaked in another sort of power may slip through and find; but in that case, such a companion might have power such as to discourage challenge most severely—"

"—But I am Ajantis' companion as long as he doesn't banish me, and the dear boy doesn't have at all a trace of any sort of power in his bones, I imagine he'll be slightly more vulnerable to evil magic spells than he used to be, at least until he can atone and retrieve his connection to the divine," Aquerna finished more conversationally. "I only want his own good, my dear girl. And that charming young murderess you're sitting next to—"

"I said I was sorry!"

Sorry is not good enough. I was crying.

"Well, 's not like we can turn back the clock," Imoen said after a long pause. "Or, 'least, if I got to be an archmage I probably could turn back the clock, but 'cause of paradox and quantum and not accidentally killing your own grandma I couldn't change back the clock."

"The Spider Queen obliged us to kill young ones in the Underdark; and that male was old enough for some degree of threat," Viconia said. Stephan was a wizard's young apprentice. He couldn't have done anything to really hurt us. "You bore me, abbil."

"The Iron Throne was a poisoned oak sinking its corrupted roots into the innocent ground," Faldorn said. "Will we now find the evil ones who sowed the seed?"

"—We don't need to," I sobbed. I'd only murder more of them—there was something wrong with me. "We finished them in Nashkel and we finished their alternative source of iron here. The iron crisis is over and we don't need to do anything more to the Iron Throne because we stopped their plan, we can go somewhere else or just stay here and—and I don't know—"

I kept on stabbing Damon because he murdered Eddard. Like I helped rob the other caravan. Then I killed more of the bandits, and then we came all the way here and there was Stephan— I couldn't bring myself to care about Sarevok Anchev any more. It was all over anyway.

"Couldn't find either the swine or the wizard fool." Shar-Teel came into view, Spider's Bane swinging behind her and her crossbow upon her belt. "Or a lot of what we took. Remind me to kill them, next time they dare look our way."

I had woken lying across Varscona's sheath, my fingers wrapped around its hilt. The fire was out, and Eldoth gone with his clothes and weapons. The room had been almost bare. "If they're really g-gone...then at least they're safe." I couldn't stop crying. Eldoth deserved much better. So did Edwin; I helped Dynaheir trick him in the first place.

"I made myself Fall," Ajantis said suddenly. "I was not responsible for Skie's actions; but I was responsible for my own. And I am the one to deserve that harsh penalty and far more."

"—Um, I don't know, I used to think you were a pretty nice person, this classic knight in shining armour and all, even if you were a bit pernickety about people's rings going missing and suchlike..." Imoen said. "I mean, you don't need to hurt yourself too much, though of course—I don't understand it!" She stared at me. "What were you thinking, Skie?"

I wiped my sleeve across my eyes. "I don't remember, much." And I made that true by not thinking about it. "I'm truly sorry."

I wasn't good at killing anything. A few months ago I was an ordinary girl at home. I wasn't strong like Minsc or Shar-Teel; I couldn't shoot arrows into people's heads and dig through their belongings; I didn't even feel as if I could lift a shortsword any more.

"Finished whining?" Shar-Teel clouted the side of my head. She squatted down to stroke our fire in the open back to life; there were two dead birds slung to her shoulder. She threw one to Imoen. "I'd say, it would be just as well to finish the Throne bastards off. But what'll be left in the city, a few fat merchants?"

"The Flaming Fist would be sure to deservedly arrest us for wanton slaughter of merchants even if we showed them proof of what they have done," Ajantis recited. "In the name of good and law the important thing is that this story will reach Duke Eltan and he will mete out justice; and it will, by the escaped slaves."

"He's right," I said. "We've done everything we needed to stop their plans. So we can—" I couldn't start to face anyone in the city; not...a man who didn't want his first wife's bastard; and certainly not I shall be in thy city. Thou art most welcome to seek us out and indeed I may do the same—Dynaheir, so upright and good, so very disappointed and reproaching she'd be— "I want to go somewhere else. Somewhere where we don't have to do this. Anywhere else but here."

"It is a large surface, rivvil," Viconia said.

"We can go and... we can go and..." Not kill anyone else. "Ajantis was looking for an evil witch when we met him!" Finally that was an answer. "We can go and help the village and stop the evil witch!"

Shar-Teel and Viconia glanced at each other, and both shrugged lightly.

"If I perceive your acts to benefit the cause of Nature, I will continue with you," Faldorn said. "But should you breach the Balance you will be gravely punished."

Viconia smothered something that sounded almost like a laugh. "A dalhar, it is, and I will have much amusement from it. I order you to commit many healing spells to your memory," she said to Faldorn, "which shall free me to petition Shar for the more intriguing ones of active darkness, since I am far more than a mere healer." She stretched out her body, smirking easily.

"I stand higher in the favour of my lord Silvanus than you by your dark goddess, woman!" Faldorn burst out. "I prefer spells of damage myself against those who would harm Nature, and from our powers the chief divine advisor of this party must only be me—"

Viconia's slow smile was awful and terrible to behold. Imoen and I could not tell exactly what strange ritual passed between the priestess and the young druid within their glares at each other; we could only watch and wonder deeply...

"The evil witch...the evil witch." Ajantis passed a hand along his forehead. "I feel no guidance from Helm. I feel nothing. Before I thought it would be Helm's will to find and slay this witch; but I still know nothing of it. If I do sufficient good and righteous deeds, will I ever be able to atone for my crimes? Will Helm ever welcome me again into his sight?"

"Helm had certainly better," snapped Aquerna. "And if we're absolutely certain that the wizard boy and that greasy songster don't intend to return with our possessions, I suppose we may as well return to the road."

—

dalhar - child