Starting over

He left the room and I was devastated, we had never had a serious fight before, he had always been my little brother, my partner, he always admired and listened to me when I gave him advices, even the worst ones.

My cell beeped, there were more than 6 missed calls from Matt, I didn't want to talk to him, but I was aware that he had nothing to do with the absurd that his sister did, so I called back.

"Hey Matt, you called?"

"Hey man, I'm still waiting for our lunch! I'm not even hangover anymore, but I guess it should be dinner now, huh? Have you apologized to Anne yet?"

Me? Apologize? I'd have to explain to him that she was the one who should apologize to me forever. But I didn't want to bring the subject up, and I decided it was better if she told him herself what happened.

"No, not yet..."

He went on.

"Yeah, she told me she spend the night at Lara's, and she got home kinda tired too..."

Lara's? So she had made up her own version of the story already, huh...

"Man, I'm not feeling very well, I don't think it's gonna happened tonight."

"Did you give up? What's up with you?"

"Nothing much, I had a discussion with my brother, some problems at home, but tomorrow I stop by so we can talk."

"Then I'm gonna tell Anne we're gonna eat here, I slept all day long and she didn't get out of the room..."

And also, tell her I want her to die.

"Okay Matt… take care."

...

I was alone, and I was going to start over that way.
I was going to write songs, play, look for a studio, a label, I was good at that. I decided not to waste any more time moaning, I turn my computer on and started to send emails, updated my MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, etc, answered some messages from fans, kind words did me good, gave me courage to catch up for lost time.

Music had always been my best company and it would give me strength to face anything.

It was hard to fall asleep, the image of Anne lying down next to my brother was in my mind, I made an effort to think about something positive, I saw myself traveling the world, making concerts... This has always been my dream, only know she was not part of it anymore.

Next day, I woke up with my cell ringing, it was Andy.

"What's up, dude? I got your email, decided to remember you have friends?"

I laughed, Andy used to play with me in the bars, ande ver since I won AI, I had only seen him a few times, but we got along well, and I tought he could help me, after all, I'd rather have a band to search for a label.

"Come on, I never forgot, but you know, everything is a mess, some crazy things happened, a broken heart, but I wanted to talk to you in person... can I drop by?"

"Of course, Dave! It's gonna be a honor to have a rockstar in my house!"

Little did he know.

I got my back pack and left, and bumped into Matt on the sidewalk.

"Hey Dave, I was going to call you, there's a lot of your belongings in my bag, you want to go get them?"

"Get there for me, please!"

"Get in here, I guess Anne's still sleeping, but I wanted to show you some songs I downladed."

If I suspected she was awake, I'd get out of there within seconds.

We got into his room, he turned the computer on and started playing the songs loudly, I couldn't even listen, but I pretended to enjoy it.

"Matt, I'm gonna get my stuff and leave, I'm supposed to meet Andy to solve some stuff!"

"Don't go yet, Rachel sent me some pictures from the trip, wanna see?"

No way.

"I'll see it some other time, I'm really going..."

"Okay then, come back here later, and tell family Skib I said hello!"

I left the room and had the vision I expected not to have for a long time.
Anne was standing in front of me, and if she was reasonable enough, she wouldn't say anything and would just get out of my way.
But she was not.
She had the guts to ask me:

"D-dave... could we talk a little bit?"

The answer was simple: no.

"I have nothing..."

"PLEASE, David? Just a little bit..."

Her puffy and wet eyes didn't have any effect on me. She could cry, whine, do anything.
And of course she'd do that, but Matt was coming out of the room and I didn't want him to see that, I'd have to explain everything to him, so I just grabbed her arm and took her to her room.