"Don't listen to a word I say
The screams all sound the same"
Morgana was experiencing the nightmares again. Before it was visions but now she was seeing her own death. She was watching Merlin stand over her trying to get her heart racing again, flashing his golden eyes in attempt to use magic to restart a steady heartbeat. However, not far behind him was Arthur watching calmly. Surely Arthur was her killer. When she woke she struggled the gain her breath again.
Her high pitched screams carried through the forests most times and occasionally Merlin showed up after hearing reports of a banshee nearby. He'd find Morgana in the same place every time, a meadow they'd once met at long ago when she was still a good person. She lost that side of her years ago. The next morning she found Merlin riding with Gwen behind him. Morgana jumped up and pointed at the yellow clad woman. She was Queen but she still wore her servant dresses when she left the castle.
"Why did you bring Gwen? She'll tell Arthur I am out here and he will have me killed on the spot! He would do it himself! I have told you of my nightmares." Morgana growled at the woman who was aging nicely. It had been nearly five years since she last saw Gwen face to face in the middle of the war Morgause waged on Camelot. She had a stare of caution that resembled the one she had that night.
"Gwen caught me sneaking out…" Merlin ran his hair through his hair and stared at the ground. Morgana knew a day like that would eventually come and they'd have to explain the situation. It had been a very long time since Morgana spoke with Agravaine and attempted to murder Arthur. Morgana nodded but watched Gwen suspiciously.
"Morgana, it's been too long." Gwen dismounted her horse and approached with deliberate motions. Morgana held her hand out for Gwen and they nodded as they shook politely. Merlin smiled at the lack of tenseness in the air. Gwen took her place on a nearby stump.
"So I guess we're expected to explain our situation to Gwen?" Morgana was somewhat defensive. She eyeballed the new Queen who simply smiled at the villain that terrorized her husband. In spite of the horrible person Morgana had become it didn't appear that Gwen had any resentment for the woman that used to be her master.
"We're not expected but it would probably be proper." Merlin explained to Morgana who was softening up a little more every second that passed. Morgana and Merlin sat on a pile of moss nearby. They looked at Gwen and started from the beginning, the night that Morgana woke in the middle of night. Gaius had been out of Camelot and Merlin went to her rescue. All the way until that very moment when they sat in front of Gwen telling the tale of their romance; it left Gwen crying.
"Your story is most lovely, Merlin – Morgana. I cannot imagine a more beautiful tale." Gwen came over and hugged both the manservant and lady. "You know, Morgana, if you ever came back to Camelot to stay I could talk Arthur into giving you amnesty."
Morgana looked over Gwen, a kind and forgiving woman most kind to her people. She would show the people how true she was to her words by talking Arthur into letting Morgana return to Camelot. As terrific as the prospect was she would never be able to live there again. The people that loved Gwen would hate Morgana. Time had humbled her and she knew a life with Merlin was gone. A life like the one she once had was gone.
"When I sleep I can hear the screams of protest if I ever came back. If it's not the screams of protest it the screams of death. And worst off it, if it is not either of those screams it is my own as I recount the horrors I have caused. Although, over time they begin to sound the same; indistinguishably so." Morgana sighed and watched as Gwen headed off on a short walk, mumbling that she'd return soon. She knew that the pair needed some privacy. It didn't matter whether Gwen was there or not she knew what Merlin would say.
"I'll leave with you. We can live in Ealdor with my mom. We can live on our own somewhere else. We could make our own camp. Arthur would never take you down if I were with you. The years of your attempts at tyranny have gone and a new peaceful life has come. When will you accept that the prophecy will never exist?" Morgana frowned at her lover. He asked if he could bring someone to marry them if she'd do it, but her response to each of his offers were always the same; a life they could not. It was always a life they could not have. Morgana and Emrys were never meant to be together.
"Be true to yourself, Emrys. There are some things that simply cannot be…" She started away from the young warlock. She saw Gwen's hand jerk up to her mouth from the corner of her eyes. She'd not been far and overheard Morgana call Merlin by his true name: Emrys. Merlin had told him some time ago that Arthur was becoming wary of the Emrys that people fabled would bring down Morgana. He feared a warlock stronger than Morgana. Now that Gwen knew that the man Arthur was more scared of than Morgana had been by his side all along.