"You're gone, gone, gone away,
I watched you disappear.
All that's left is a ghost of you"
"The magic ban will be lifted with caution. I think to begin with we should have witches and warlocks register themselves as magic users. We've got to have some level of control over the use so that people like Morgana do not come to power. We've only just ended our battles with her." Arthur announced. Morgana did not take offense to the statement aware fully that she deserved it. However, she wished she could redeem herself somehow.
"My lord, Morgana was a good woman once. Do you not believe she could prove herself a good woman once more?" Merlin was quick to defend his lover. Gwen's eyes nearly popped out of her head and she was silently suggesting that Merlin stand down. Morgana held her breath only for a moment as Arthur began his next sentence.
"I believe anything is possible, Merlin. You're a warlock; I'm married to a woman once a servant. Up is down! What do I know anymore? If Morgana can stand here and talk to me civilly I would reconsider punishing her for her treason." Arthur's words were probably false but Morgana's heart and mind connected for the briefest moment of insanity. She used her magic to appear in the castle. The scry's image was lost in transition.
Arthur grabbed a sword and pointed it at the spot where Morgana appeared. No longer did she wear a black dress but rather a deep brown one to help her blend. She appeared more humble than before. He was huffing in attempt to understand what was happening to his life. Everything he thought he knew was thrown into the wind.
"Arthur, I will only ask once, put that sword down." Merlin got nearer to Morgana instead of Arthur. Morgana spotted the final stage of recognition in her old friend's eyes. He put together the way in which Merlin became protective over Morgana that there was something between them. He turned around and threw the sword at the stone walls. Gwen went to console Arthur who was cursing everyone and anything that he could think of in the moment.
"Arthur, I was watching the meeting. Please, I don't expect a home in Camelot. I just want to have a life with Merlin without fear of him being punished for my mistakes. If you grant me amnesty and pardon my past I will never come back, we can lead a life far away from your castle. I promise I'd never come back, I would never disturb your life again." She found herself groveling to the man that she would have killed a year ago. She wasn't jealous of his throne anymore. She was show when Merlin told Arthur that he was Emrys that a chance for the destiny that Merlin always spoke of was a truth. She hopefully could be a part of that future.
"Is this what you told me for? Do you want to leave me to fend for myself to be with her? If I lift the ban will you run away with her?" Arthur was many terrible things and he was many great things. He was also many surprising things. He was reliant on Merlin. He was a sidekick and he was a hero in many ways that Morgana hadn't seen because of her knowledge. Arthur would make any exception he had to in order to keep Merlin in his council.
"I would, yes. I don't want special treatment because we are friends." Merlin admitted and Morgana nodded absolutely. They didn't want the King of Camelot to show preference. He had an example to make of himself and this would send the wrong message if he didn't treat them the ways in which he would treat others.
"If I give her a fair trial would you stay?" Arthur pleaded of the young warlock. "You are an asset to this kingdom and everyone would hate to see you go. You've helped me rule so far and I would ask that you don't stop."
Merlin looked over Morgana. Their eyes met and stayed focused on each other. They couldn't hear each other's voices in their heads but they communicated clearly enough without words. Merlin didn't think the trial was worth it. He knew how much the knights hated Morgana, but she also knew that the public opinion would play a big role and if the public found that she should be forgiven then so it would be her verdict. Morgana was willing to take a chance if it meant Merlin could continue being friends with a good man like Arthur Pendragon. She may have lost direction and doubted him but she was proud of whom he had become after all that time.
"Arthur, if I may, perhaps you should hold an open court and ask the public what they think she be done with the Lady Morgana. The knights are not unlike yourself, sire, and would not deny the people what they think is right. If the opinion is favorable of her presence then we could pardon her. If not then we banish her to the outskirts with amnesty for her past crimes. We've got a kingdom to think about but can't sacrifice what we know it our hearts is right. She stands here a shattered woman only asking for forgiveness. Would you deny her that because of a lack of direction from a poor guardian such as your father?" Gwen's voice was the one that sounded off the suggestion. It was the best option they had. Morgana was to be escorted to Merlin's chambers and remain hidden there until a consensus was reached on her fate.
When Merlin woke the next morning he went to the courts to listen to the suggestions Arthur received on how to handle Morgana if she were to be captured even though her terrorism had ended long ago. Morgana was scrying again to see how things went before Merlin came back. Arthur and Merlin expected it even though she hadn't told either of them that it was her intention.
As soon as her name was mentioned people went ballistic. Morgana hated that she had ever made those decisions. So many people called for her death as she had caused their family so much sorrow by murdering grandparents, parents, and children relatives. She ruined livelihoods and damaged businesses. It was hurtful to know that here was just a monster. For years that would be the case and probably would be in history as well. Merlin excused himself from the madness to come and check on her, she knew it. However, Arthur suddenly closed the court. It would be reopened after lunch. He went chasing after an angry Merlin, probably to comfort him. All Morgana cared about though was relieving herself and Merlin of the one thing that truly burdened.
I will have lived and died loving you,she scribbled across the page. She rummaged through Gaius' bottles quickly. When she couldn't find the mixtures she needed she started downing whatever was in the bottles she could find. She felt dizzy, then sick, then tired, then invigorated. It would only be a few more minutes before Merlin was in the quarters to find her. She hoped to be dead by then. Got some water from a nearby bucket and cupped some in her palms. She uttered through chattering teeth a curse that would surely kill her. She gulped the poison quickly and hurried to Merlin's room and slammed the door shut.
"I am sorry, Merlin." She gasped into the air. The damage it would cause would be temporary, even if completely traumatizing. Morgana saw now that the dream she had so long ago was that Arthur killed her but that she killed herself. Being so close to redemption was too much for her, especially since it would never truly come. Her chance at a good life had been lost when she was too foolish to listen to Merlin's stories and trust him that way he trusted everyone else around him. He would make a great warlock on the royal council. With his King he would make a dreamy Albion, Merlin would be the credit to it all. Magic people from everyone would worship him. She knew his story would end with her. Morgana wouldn't let it.
Air was short now…Merlin's footsteps could be heard now in the next room. He was registering all the fallen bottles and the water droplets. He feared the worst as he should. Eyes were now fluttering shut and the Lady Morgana was passing to an afterlife in which she could always watch over her beloved Merlin.
"MORGANA!" He screamed. He made efforts to save her as she'd envisioned before. None of her nightmares were false. Her dying day was finally there and she welcomed it with warmth and understanding. It was a well-deserved ending to her story. Merlin was rushing but she couldn't tell what happened anymore. Her chest barely rose as she drew her last breath. "I love you, Morgana. Please don't leave me here alone. I need you more than anything."
In response to his words she groaned the last words she was destined to speak. "I'll never be gone, Merlin. Not really."
A/N: As a super fan of Merlin I know how people react when an important character dies, especially in a fashion that is incredibly OOC. However, I think if you continue reading you might be able to get past your grudge against me and find beauty in the story regardless. Please, please, please do not hate me. I trust my heart when I write and something about all of this felt right. If you don't like it when it's all said and done then please bash me for my inhumanity and lack of a soul.
I appreciate all who have at least read this far. You are wonderful people.