The Worst Birthday

The doorbell rang and when I opened the door, Matt was there. I imagined he had come to argue with me for something I had done to Anne (and I didn't even know what it was), but I couldn't handle that right now.

"Matt, I'm sorry, I don't wanna argue now..."

He interrupted me.

"Can I come in, Dave?"

He didn't seem mad, and he called me David, not Dave. That was a good sign. I let him in and closed the door.

He didn't threw himself on the couch, or went to the fridge to see if there was something to eat. He stood in the middle of the room, like he was a unfamiliar visitor, showing up for the first time. Too formal.

"Sit down Matt, we don't need that."

He laughed and sit, so did I. He was staring at the floor for a few minutes, thinking about how to start. Then, he looked at me.

"Dave... I ran into Drew yesterday, and he told me what's going on with Adam... I was feeling very bad Dave, I couldn't even sleep well... he told me he's worst this time right?"

I just nodded.

"I'm so sorry David, I'm praying for him to be okay, I really am... you know I really like him..."

"I know Matt."

Neither of us spoke for a while. I didn't know what to say, and I guess neither did he. After several minutes, he broke the silence.

"Dave... I'm sorry for being so rude, you didn't deserve that… even though I knew it was not your fault, I gave you a hard time, you were the most harmed…"

I didn't let him finish.

"Matt. You don't have to explain yourself. I understand you, you were only defending your sister. I saw how bad she was when she fainted, I can imagine how you were feeling! I thought a lot about that, at first I was angry, but then I realized you were right Matt, despite of what she did, she's your sister, you'd be wrong if you hadn't chosen her side. I admire you. It's like you finally grew up, I thought that was impossible!"

We both laughed.

"You're my best friend in the whole world, Dave. Man, that was so gay."

We laughed again.

"I know Matt. You are too."

He opened his mouth to say something, I knew what it was and didn't let him go on.

"You don't have to apologize. I told you, you were right."

"Friends again?"

"When weren't we?"

Since we were being gay anyway, I gave him a hug. All the fear for Adam was still there, but at least I had Matt there again.

"David… there's something else."

I waited.

"Tomorrow is your birthday... and I have a present for you."

"Should I be scared?"

He hesitated.

"Actually... the present is not from me.".

He got a little pack of his pocket, it looked like a little paper bag with something inside, and put it on the coffee table.

"She asked me to give this to you when we were on the plane. I was supposed to do it tomorrow, but since I'm here now… I don't know what it is, I didn't open it... I'm gonna leave it here, so you can open by yourself... See you later."

And he left. I stared at that for a while, until I had the courage to open it. What had Anne sent me?

I finally opened it, and got what was in there. It was her Ipod. I looked inside the bag, there was a paper there, I opened it.

"This is my present for you. I left there only the songs you like. Don't break it, please... Happy Birthday, Bro."

I read the note a lot of times. I got the Ipod and listened to the songs, and remembered those times when we listened together on the porch and I was always criticizing her songs, an eternity ago... it was weird not to listen to her tacky songs there, it was like something was missing...

Next day was my birthday, but I didn't feel like celebrating. I was in the hospital almost all day long, Andrew was there too. We went back home in the evening, my mom was making dinner, I wanted something very simple. I asked Andrew to drive, and on the way home, I got a text. I saw the sender, "Sis". I took a deep breath, and read it.

"Happy Birthday, I love you."

I stared at the screen for about 5 minutes. Since I was an idiot, I was touched by that, of course. Would I be totally over her someday? I wish I had the courage to delete it without any pain, but of course I wouldn't do that. Finally, I pressed "answer". I stared at the empty screen, waiting for me to write something. But I wondered, what would I say? "Thank you, unfortunately I love you too but this doesn't change anything"? I changed my mind, there was no answer. I guess she knew that too. With the corner of my eye, I saw Andrew looking at me, he might be feeling something was happening. But he didn't ask anything, and of course I wouldn't tell him.

Dinner was kinda cool, my mom had invited some relatives and friends, the guys from the band were there and Matt too, I was glad he came, we talked a lot, we needed that. I missed Matt. And her too. But that's pretty obvious... I wasn't on the mood for celebrating, with Adam on that situation... so dinner was not actually a success.

I had slept at the hospital that day, so Kendra could be with the kids. When I woke up, I was not feeling very well, I don't know what was happening… something was wrong. I looked at Adam, he was awake, looking at me. He looked awful. He gave me a weak smile.

"You're strange."

I didn't answer, I couldn't face him.

"You're afraid?"

I just nodded.

"Everything will be okay."

I looked him into the eyes.

"Will it?"

"Well... at least for me."

I hope he wasn't saying what I thought he was... I felt tears rolling down.

"Don't say that, Adam."

He opened his mouth to say something, but shut it. When he spoke again, I knew it was something else.

"Okay, I won't."

I sat on the chair beside the bed, and looked at him for a while. My heart was heavy, I didn't know if he'd get out of there… I tried to say something, but it didn't come out, my throat was closed…

"David, go home, take a shower, eat something, comb your hair... you look awful."

His voice was no more than a whisper... I giggled.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Andrew said he was coming in the morning, he must be here any minute now."

I didn't wanna go, but he was right, I was very hungry and must be stinking...

"Ok, I won't take long then."

I was at the door when I heard his weak voice calling me. I turned around.

"I love you, okay? And your brother too, don't forget it."

I crossed the room and hugged him. I couldn't hold the tears again, I tried to say I loved him too, but I couldn't… we were there for a while, before going out I looked at him one last time and he smiled, and I left.

Andrew was already there, so I went home, took a shower and got something to eat in the fridge. And then my mom reminded me I had some stuff about the documents of my car to solve, and it had to be done today. I tried to go fast, so I could go back to the hospital, but I couldn't, I had to go to a lot of places and wait a lot. And also, my cell battery had died, I couldn't call to see how Adam was. I was anxious, I wanted to go back there soon to see my brother… when I finally finished everything, it was almost evening, I ran to the hospital.

When I got there, the first odd thing was the number of people in the waiting room. A lot.

When I looked at Andrew, he didn't have to say anything.

"Dave... we tried to call you, but your cell was off..."

I fell on the couch. Nobody had to say anything, I already knew it.