Decision

The movie started, I was expecting to see myself in Disney World, or in the pool with my brother, or "getting married" to Anne... I did see Anne, but she was definitely not a child... My heart was racing, I remembered I put Anne's tape together with the others, and now she was saying all those things again, in front of everyone. I got up quickly, to stop the video, but Andrew got up to and grabbed my arm to stop me, he was staring at the screen, like everybody else's. Watching the video again didn't make things easier, it was the opposite actually… every word was like a slap in the face.

When the video was over, everybody stared at me, and Andrew left the room. My mom asked me what I was expecting.

"David, what is this? What did Anne do?"

I'd never gonna tell, enough people knew that already, and I did not need to tell again. I answered before going to my room.

"Nothing mom, Anne did NOTHING, forget this damn video."

I was gonna go crazy, very soon.

Next day, I was in my room when Kelly got in.

"Dave, we need to talk."

She was serious, that was not good. I told her to sit.

"I have to tell you something... important."

"Say it, I'm getting scared..."

"The thing is... Anne came to talk to me on the memorial service... and I think you should now what we talked about…"

"What did she say?"

I thought she had been rude to Kelly, because we were getting closer, I was already thinking about a lot of things to tell her, she hadn't changed at all, I was a jerk for believing she had, she had no rights over me...

"She asked me to be with you. That the thing she want the most in her life is to see you happy. .. I realized she doesn't want to be with you because she hurt you so much, and she's afraid to hurt you again… she'd rather let you go and made me swear I'd make you happy…"

I couldn't believe that.

"Did she really say that?"

"Yes. I didn't understand at the time why she was telling me all of that, but after I saw the video, everything made sense…. I thought about that all night long and I realized you should know about it. Look Dave, I like you, I do, I was willing to try something again with you… But I'm not gonna even try to compete with that… do you realize it? She gave up on you… this doesn't mean she doesn't like you enough to fight for you, it's actually the opposite! This means that she loves you much more than you can imagine, she loves you so much that the only thing she wants is to see you happy, even if it's with someone else… you have to be with her Dave, and don't try to tell me you don't like her, I saw the look on your face while you were watching the video."

Of course I was confused...

"Dave, I'm gonna tell you something I never did. When we used to date, I was jealous of Anne, you knew that? Because since then it was obvious, you two were the only ones who didn't realize that one day you'd end up together, that you were perfect for each other… obviously I wasn't gonna say anything, but it was obvious David… and now that you finally realized that, you're throwing everything away!

I knew she was right, but certain things wouldn't change.

"Kelly, it's much more complicated than you think, she made a mistake, and it was a huge one!"

Obviously I wasn't gonna tell her.

"So what? David, it's like you've ever made any mistakes! You're gonna tell me you never disappointed her?"

I thought about Kim, and the first time we tried to be together, I didn't value her enough, and I had no guts in a lot of occasions... I hadn't been 100% correct... but still, nothing justified what she did.

"By the look on your face, I can tell you're no saint either... Dave, stop with this pride, it says on your face that you're dying to be with her! Whatever she did, she really regrets it... everyone deserves a second chance, we have no right to judge anyone, we're only humans… if you don't go after her, you'll regret it for the rest of your life…"

I couldn't say anything, just look down. We heard my mom calling Kelly from downstairs, and she got up, but stopped at the door.

"Think about this David. Don't do anything stupid... everybody makes mistakes, everybody is human. Oh, your mom asked me to give this to you."

She threw the tape on my bed and left me alone.

I had to try very hard not to cry, it was too much to think...she had given up on me, only… for me to be happy. I still couldn't forget whatshe had done, but as Kelly said, everyone is human, how could I be 100% sure I'd never do this to her if I had the chance? I had told her I'd never do that, but I couldn't answer it to myself. Maybe I hadn't been 100% correct too... I know, her mistake was a lot worst than anything I had done, but I had to admit it... I was going crazy without her. I even tried to feel something new for Kelly, but I just couldn't stop thinking about Anne... but when I thought about going to NY after her, I called myself an idiot and weak for forgiving her, since I had sworn I'd never do it… I didn't know what waqs more important, my self pride or the love and desire of being with her... I didn't know what to do.

Two days passed, and all I could think about was her, the vídeo and the conversation I had with Kelly, I couldn't even sleep well, I was really going crazy. But I still wasn't absolutely sure I should go to NY...

I was sitting on the couch, with the coaster on my hands, and Andrew sat beside me.

"You're thinking about her, right?"

"Kelly? No, it's not like that…"

"Don't play the fool David, you know who I'm talking about."

Was I that transparent?

"Yeah, I can't deny it... I can't stop thinking about her, despite of everything... I'm such an idiot, Andrew."

"You know what I still don't get? Why are you still here and not in NY with her."

I looked at him.

"Drew, it's much more complicated than you can imagine... actually, you don't even have to imagine it…"

We both laughed, and then he got serious.

"Dave... that day we went out she was really bad, it was obvious… I didn't ask what was going on and she didn't tell me either, but after the following events, it was pretty clear… Dave, have you never got so drunk that you just couldn't control your acts, didn't know what you were doing? Have you never done something really really stupid when you were drunk, and when you got sober again, realized you'd never have done that? I was there, I saw how many margaritas she drank, it wasn't 1 or 2… she was out of her mind when we kissed, I could see it in her eyes, and I was a little bit too… what I do know, is that she would NEVER have done this if she had the slightest idea of what she was doing… I'm not trying to justify her mistake, I'm just telling you what happened. It's obvious that she loves you… It was obvious that day, it was obvious in that video, it's written on her face every time I look at her and specially when she looks at you…"

Everything he said made sense, but...

"She slept with you Andrew, she wanted you and that's never gonna change!"

"I know it's not gonna change. But she wanted me for one night David... actually, she didn't even want me, like I said, she didn't even know what she was doing… it's YOU who she really wants, I think that video makes it clear… stop with this pride and go after her, do this favor to yourself, what's the point of having self-pride but being unhappy? Is your pride more important to you than your happiness? Dave, the past is not gonna change, I wish it would, but there's no way… but you can still change the future. Just don't reach your 80's regretting for not doing anything while you still had time."

He got a folded paper from his pocket and gave it to me.

"What's this?"

"It's where you can find Anne."

I opened the paper, there was an address in Manhattan.

"Where did you get this, Andrew?"

"With our neighbor, Matthew, have you met him?"

And he got out of the room, leaving me more confused than I already was… I put the address in my pocket and decided to take a walk to organize my thoughts. I thought about the video, my talk with Kelly and Andrew… it was a fact, I was going crazy without Anne… more than that, I was completely miserable without her close to me, her eyes, her laughter, her kiss, her scent. I finally realized that what my feelings for her were much bigger than my resentment for what she had done, and there was nothing I could do about it. I got the paper in my pocket and stared at the address for a long time, while I thought about everything. Andrew was right, the past would never change, as much as I wanted to. But I could change the future, and if I waited much longer, it could be too late. I got the coaster that was in my pocket and read it a lot of times. I knew I was weak and an idiot for forgiving her, but happiness always comes first. I was going to New York to be with Anne.