Was I perhaps a bit too mean to leave you where I did…? Or was it a perfect place to leave you hanging? Personally, I thought it was a good place. I love leaving things at places like that! Have you noticed, maybe? Hahaha!
Yes, I realize this is just a senseless ramble and I apologize. I'm just purposely dragging it out a little bit for you guys. Not that I need to drag it out anymore because I put the chapter off a little because I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I'm afraid this chapter might not be very good, and for that I apologize. I really didn't have much inspiration for this one. I kept thinking about what I wanted to happen in the next three epilogue chapters…but I couldn't think of anything for this one. I'm so sorry.
Well, I guess I'll let you actually have the chapter now…haha. I hope you like it at least a little.
Also, I shouldn't have to say as much, but I don't own the characters or places.
And also, this is even shorter than the last one because of my lack of inspiration. Please forgive me!
The pink-haired dragonslayer stared numbly at the door to the bathhouse, his heartbeat sounding loudly in his ears. Natsu brought his hand up to clutch the t-shirt he wore in the area above his racing heart. For the second time that evening, he put his hand to his face, covering the lower half and the redness that was spreading. The Fairy Tail mage literally couldn't move from the shock and so he stood there, staring straight ahead.
He just couldn't have heard what he'd thought he did, right?
But what could he trust, if he couldn't trust his own ears?
Calm down, Natsu, he mentally scolded himself. With effort, he straightened and released his shirt, smoothing out the wrinkles he had created by making his hand hot and using it like an iron. He took a few deep breaths and told himself to calm down again, and then he stepped forward once more to knock on the bathhouse door.
"Luce," he said after he'd rapped on the wood three times in quick succession, "the food's almost done. If you want more time, I can keep it warm."
Natsu almost wanted her to take more time, but he also kind of wanted her to come out and confess to him in person so he'd know it wasn't all a dream. There was also a part of him that didn't want her to do either—the part that wanted to stay her best friend forever and not try anything more. But he would be kidding himself if he said he didn't feel the same. The time they'd spent apart didn't mean anything, because he was still Natsu and she was still Lucy…right?
"All right! I'll just take a tiny bit longer, okay?" Lucy's voice sounded and Natsu heard the water slosh a bit.
"Take your time, Luce," he called back, stepping away and heading back toward the fire. "The food will still be out here."
A light laugh came from the bathhouse and Natsu couldn't hold back the small grin that crept across his features. Maybe he had misheard her and maybe he hadn't, but for right now, he'd let things stay as they were. Lucy was back, her training was beginning to show greater signs of success, and she was going to live. Lucy Heartfilia wasn't weak and now that Natsu knew she had her heart set on survival, he didn't have anything to worry about. There would be plenty of time to tell her later, when things were settled down.
And so, for the time being, he just said it in his head: I love you too, Luce.
I sank a few inches deeper into the hot bath, my face turning red at the thought that Natsu had probably been within fifteen feet of the bathhouse when I had admitted my feelings out loud. If he had been any closer than that…
Deep breaths, Lucy, I told myself, trying to calm down. The act of regulating my breathing combined with the warm, soothing feel of the bath made it easier than I had expected it to be. If I was honest with myself, I had anticipated more mortification on my own behalf…but Natsu's voice had been calm and he had sounded like himself. So it was safe to assume he hadn't overheard me…right?
I rolled my shoulders a little, taking one more deep breath and slowly allowing my tense muscles to once again relax. It felt good to have a nice soak after a hard day's training, and for the time being I wouldn't let my own stupid insecurities get in the way. He hadn't heard me…and if he had heard then it was obvious that he had misunderstood. He'd probably think that I meant it in a 'best friends' kind of way and that was fine for right now.
"It would be awkward anyway, if I confessed to him the way things are now," I murmured, cupping my hands and lifting them as I watched the water trickling through my fingers. "I'm not the same girl anymore. I've changed…and so has he. But even so…Natsu is still Natsu."
Laughter bubbled from my throat as another thought occurred to me.
"I wonder if, to him, 'Lucy is still Lucy'…?" I dipped my hair in the water once more, staring at the ceiling. "Knowing him, that's probably the way he's thinking. To him…and to Erza and Gray and Happy and everyone else…I'm just Lucy, right? It doesn't matter to them that I left; in fact, it's almost like I never left at all."
For the last few minutes, as I'd been talking to myself after sitting back up straight, I'd been sitting reasonably still. The sudden ripples that went through the water, then, puzzled me for a moment before I realized their cause.
Another salty droplet slid down my cheek and dripped from my chin, sending out little ripples in the water. I lifted my hand up, disturbing the reasonably smooth surface and breaking up the small waves from the falling tear, and touched my face. Not for the first time, a shaky laugh escaped me. I reached my other hand up to cover my face, working to regulate my breathing.
Why am I crying? I asked myself silently. I'm not sad…in fact, I'm happier than I've ever been in the last few years. So…why?
"Oh, that's it…" I sniffled, running a hand through my wet hair. "It's not because I'm sad, or even because I'm happy…it's because I'm just so grateful to them for being so accepting…man, I'm acting like such a baby."
And even though I acknowledged that shortcoming aloud, I let a few more tears silently course down my face before wiping them away and washing my face. I looked out at the twilit sky through the high window and smiled to myself.
"Well, it's time to eat!" I pushed myself up out of the bath and reached for my towel, wrapping it around myself as I grabbed the smaller towel to dry my hair with.
As I dried off and dressed, I made myself a promise: I wouldn't let anything they'd done for me go to waste.
Porlyusica was taking every day to help me learn to control the excess magical power that would have killed me, and Natsu was spending all his time with me when he could have easily been back at the guild or taking jobs and blowing stuff up. From what Gray had told us when he'd visited a few days ago, Erza was constantly traveling to Era to ensure that Narcissus was still in custody and checking to see how the case against him was forming. Master Makarov constantly came out with word that Levy had started a new campaign related to Do Fairies Have Tails?, asking fans of the book to keep posted and come visit the guild in Magnolia when I was 'recovered'. Apparently it was going so well that even Lisanna, Cana, Bixlow, Fried, Elfman, Evergreen, Wendy, Romeo, and Mirajane were pitching in. From what the master said, it was a huge success.
Everyone was doing something, so I couldn't let it go to waste.
"I'm going to do my best to get control over my magic and I'm going to repay them for never giving up on me," I said, clenching my fist in front of me in determination. And as a start, I ripped a strip off the bottom of my pajama tank top and pulled the top part of my hair back.
It wasn't the half-up-and-to-the-side hairstyle that they recognized, but it was a step closer to that. It was just the more mature way to have a half-up half-down 'do. With that done, I squared my shoulders and took a breath, repeating the mantra he didn't hear me, he didn't hear me silently to myself.
In a very Natsu-ish manner, I threw open the bathhouse door and called, "Natsu—! Is the food ready?"
"Yeah! Are you done in the bath, Luce?"
"Yup!" I started walking toward the campfire, discerning that the fire dragonslayer's back was to me. So he hadn't seen my throwback hairstyle yet, and I was hoping to surprise him. Maybe it would work, maybe it wouldn't, but I was aiming to show him that I was still me if he wasn't already thinking along those lines.
I'm the same, but different, I thought as I walked closer to him. The smell of his newest culinary creation assaulted my nostrils and made me realize the insane hunger that fourteen hours of grueling practice at controlling magic caused me. I'm the same, only with a few more years on me.
Natsu could hear every step she took crunching in the gravel path from the bathhouse to the site of the fire. It took a lot not to turn to face her or even jump and run. He'd been calm at first after hearing her, but now that he had admitted his own feelings to himself it was harder to maintain his composure.
Calm down, he told himself.
The dragonslayer took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders, picking up a bowl and the ladle to start serving up some of his stew.
I love her, he repeated silently, on purpose, but I'll keep it to myself for a while.
"I hope you're hungry, Luce," Natsu said, sitting the bowl to the side and reaching for the gently toasted bread to slice a few pieces off for her. "I think I made more than I did yesterday."
"You've been doing that every day," Lucy laughed, and he could hear her much, much closer now. "And somehow you've been keeping your portions down to two or three servings and we're still getting through it all. So don't even pretend. You know I'm hungry. I'm starving! Ravenous! I could eat a horse!"
"I don't think horse would taste very good," Natsu wrinkled his nose, then started to turn around to face her. "But I'll try anything if you're up for it!"
There—that was what he needed. They were playfully bantering like old times, although less hostilely than they might have back then. And now he was smiling again—a genuine smile, the current incarnation of his old toothy grin. And Lucy's giggle fell upon his ears, just like he remembered it. Lucy had been returning to her old self little by little in the last few weeks, and Natsu wouldn't trade it for anything. He'd put aside their feelings for each other for now—what was most important was that she was finally back and for the time being, he would respect her privacy and pretend he hadn't heard her admit her feelings.
At least, those were his thoughts before he got a good look at her.
A few wisps of golden hair fell in front of her forehead and her hair framed her face, but the most significant part was that half of it was pulled back. At first, Natsu thought he was seeing the Lucy he'd first met and become friends with, but after a few seconds he realized that her hair wasn't up to the side, but really pulled back.
"Luce—your hair—"
Well, that was very intelligent. Natsu mentally cursed himself, but tried to focus on the blonde girl in front of him. She seemed a little uneasy, standing there with her weight off-center as she twirled a golden lock around her finger.
"I—ah—thought it was kind of nostalgic…" she falteringly began, then whipped her hand down as though her hair had burned it and her cheeks turned pink. "It's not the same, or anything, but—"
"It suits you, Luce," Natsu smiled gently at her, not even realizing what he'd said.
It suits you.
Had Natsu really just—?
And that smile…it was the more subdued one, the matured one that I had never thought he could possess and it still made my heart leap into my throat.
I could feel my face heating up faster and faster and I needed to do something—anything—to make sure Natsu didn't realize it. I started walking again and let a small laugh escape my lips. It seemed to have an effect on Natsu because he jerked a bit and went a little wide-eyed—perhaps he'd said that without thinking about it? That was just like him.
"Does it really?" I asked as I drew level with him, sitting a few feet away from him. "I'm glad!"
"Y-yeah," Natsu said absently, averting his gaze from me. He reached out and offered me a bowl of stew and a plate with a few slices of bread on it.
"It smells really good," I told him, accepting the meal. "Thanks!"
"I hope it tastes as good as it smells," he groaned, "because I'm starving."
I tried to stifle my giggle and it turned out as a snort. I covered my mouth then, Natsu looked at me in mock hurt…before he started laughing. He sat his own hardly touched bowl down and clutched his stomach, a tear in the corner of one of his eyes.
"The look on your face, Luce—haha, it was priceless!"
My cheeks burned red from embarrassment.
"H-hey, don't make fun of me!" I protested, ripping a piece of bread off of one of my slices and starting to eat it.
"You were making fun of me first, weren't you?" Natsu shot back, breathlessly as another chuckle came out.
"Why are you laughing so hard about it?" I asked in a mumble, flushing and looking away. "It wasn't that funny. I was about to laugh and I held it in, so I snorted."
"Yeah, but you looked like you might die, you were so embarrassed," Natsu pointed out, grinning widely.
And there it was. Finally. After so long, I finally got to see the true toothy grin I'd missed all those years. It was the trademark of the Salamander of Fairy Tail, a throwback like my hairstyle, and I didn't expect to see it again. Every time I'd seen a toothy grin from the usually cheerful dragonslayer since I returned to them, it had always been a little lackluster…but now…
I couldn't help it. A smile formed across my lips and I started chuckling, covering my mouth with my hand in a halfhearted attempt to stifle it again.
"L-let's just eat," I giggled, picking up my spoon. "Okay? Weren't you starving a few minutes ago?"
"I'm still starving!" the pink-haired young man declared proudly.
"Then eat!" I practically ordered, my spoon sticking out of my mouth as I dipped a bit of bread into the savory broth. As soon as I had tasted the stew, I knew I wouldn't be able to resist more. My mouth opened seemingly of its own accord and I said, "Your food is gonna make me fat…"
"Huh?"
When I looked up at him, he had a piece of bread hanging out of his mouth. It was kind of really cute.
"I-it's nothing," I covered quickly, looking back to my food. "It's just that this is really good. Again."
"Oh, really?" Natsu sighed, almost as if in relief. "I'm glad! Thanks."
Someday, I'll ask him why he got so good at cooking. I'll ask him when he decided he wanted to learn to cook better and even how he did it. But for the time being, I was perfectly fine with sitting around the campfire with him whilst enjoying the meal he cooked while bustling about like a doting housewife.
Someday, maybe I'd tell him that I loved him, like I had admitted to myself in the bath.
But for now…this was enough.
Again, I'm really sorry. Please, please, please give me some feedback. What can I do to make this chapter better? Or is it actually alright as it is?
I've never been so nervous about a chapter in my life.
I'm so sorry if it's not up to snuff. Please forgive me!
Anyway, thank you guys so much for reading. I appreciate it.