Disclaimer: I don't own these characters and I make no money from this writing.

Elladan has slept quietly but he is not recovering as I would like from his wound. It looks well enough, the stitches tight, and there is no sign of unnatural redness or swelling. But he is weak and listless, and he does not want to eat or to speak to us.

Elrohir's concern about his brother's illness is difficult to alleviate, for I feel it myself. I try a different combination of herbs in his tea but he is no better at midday.

During the afternoon I sit with Elladan and try to engage him in pleasant conversation but he is barely following what I say. Towards evening, his fever begins to rise again, not dangerously so but enough to worry all of us.

All day, Estel has been coming to the room to check his brother's progress. I have not given the boy enough of my attention after his adventure yesterday. I know there is much we should discuss but I cannot leave Elladan. The boy tells me he has tended his tree and that he helped Halbarad to take some quiet exercise, under Legolas' supervision. Then he groomed Spider and led him out to the training ground, keeping careful hold of him and returning him to his stable.

Legolas comes to sit with me later in the evening. Elrohir is bathing his brother's forehead.

"Estel has kept himself busy," Legolas reports, speaking quietly. "He is writing his own account of the past day. We have talked over the wolf's death and he understands it was not his victory alone."

"Thank you, Legolas," I say, relieved that one duty is now off my shoulders. I could not allow Estel to believe he killed the wolf himself. "I shall speak to him as soon as I can about running away from me into the river. I am concerned that he will put himself into further danger if I cannot make him obey me."

Elrohir looks up at me sharply. "I have felt that he is disobeying us too often, Father. I could not get him to stay here when he wanted to run away when Ruby died. I could have restrained him physically but that is all I could do."

"His spirit outgrows his body. He is too small, too immature to do what his heart demands. If he does not learn this soon, I fear for him." It is a relief to voice this thought, which has been troubling me for too long.

Elladan tries to turn in his sleep and we help him move to a more comfortable position. Though the fire burns warm, I feel it is cold in the room and go to fetch another blanket from the linen press.

The door is pushed open a little way and a small face appears.

"I am ready for bed, Papa," Estel says. "Legolas told me I might come and say goodnight. How is Elladan?"

Legolas stands and goes to him. "I said you might wait in your room, Estel. I did not say you should come here."

"I did wait! But no-one came!" He is standing in the room now but is hanging on to the door handle as if to try to follow instructions. He looks forlorn, and I know immediately what he will say next. "May I say goodnight to Elladan?"

"Come here, Estel," I say, holding out my hand to him. He runs on bare feet to me and I let him stand next to my chair, in the circle of my arms. "He is asleep. He will not hear you, but you may say goodnight to him, if you wish. Do not try to touch him."

He leans forward a little but does as he is told. "Goodnight, Elladan," he says quietly. "I hope you feel better in the morning."

We are all silent for a while, watching the one whose sleep is restless, and it seems our collective will for him to recover helps him to relax into a deeper repose.

Estel turn round to face me. I cannot resist pushing his hair from his face. His eyes are solemn and large in the half-dark. "Is there is something inside him?" he says.

"What do you mean?" I say, looking at him with all my concentration. He does not flinch.

"Is there is something in him, something that is stopping him from getting well? "

Elrohir breaks into our conversation. "He has an infection, Estel. Is that what you mean?"

"No." Estel shakes his head. He is becoming more insistent and tries to pull back on my hold. "Something in him. Like my splinter, in my foot. Something you need to take out, Papa."

"I checked the wound myself, Estel. I could neither see nor feel anything that remained in it."

Estel looks disappointed. He wants to help but I cannot even let the child touch his brother.

"It is a good idea, though. I will change the herbal compound again tomorrow. I am sure he will be well soon, with all his family here to help him. Now, it is late. You must sleep."

He nods, then leans back against me. "Legolas and me, we killed the wolf together," he says. "I thought it was just me." He is confiding something important to him, and he looks at Legolas to see if he is listening. I pick him up bodily and settle him on my knees.

"You did a great deed, Estel. You helped kill a great wolf and that is a deed you can be proud of, for he was fierce and strong. You stunned him with the torch and hurt him with your knife. Legolas tells me you are going to write your own account of the story. Shall I tell you something?"

"Yes please, Papa! What is it?"

"Come, let us go to your room and I shall tell you something I have been thinking."

I set him back on his feet and lead him away, shielding him from the bed where Elladan is beginning to stir. He goes willingly and I do not want him to have to witness anything other than his brother, asleep, recovering his strength.

When he has climbed back into bed, I pull his blankets up around him.

"Now, child. When you have written your account, I shall read it through and if it is truthful, and as well-written as you can make it, I shall allow you to copy it into the Great Book of Imladris, where all the noble deeds are recorded. I have been writing of you since you were a little boy. Now it is your chance to make your own record of this, your first great deed."

"Oh, Papa," he breathes. "The book with the gold lettering on the front? And the pictures inside that Elladan draws?"

"There are many such books, Estel. But yes, the last volume of that book shall hold a page which you shall write, though it may take you many hours to complete it. I shall only allow you to work on it for a few minutes each day, so that you do not tire and make an error. Is that a bargain?"

He nods, his eyes bright with wonder. "May I draw my tree there, on the page?"

"Of course. And your pony, and the knife that hurt the wolf, and anything else you wish. It will be your page."

"Papa. I'm sorry I ran away. I'm sorry I ran into the river when you told me not to. It was a foolish thing to do. I only got wet. I couldn't have helped Spider."

I smile at him and he looks back, puzzled.

"Did I say something silly again?" he asks.

"I was wondering how I would explain to you that what you did was wrong. I was just smiling because if you were foolish to run into the river, I was foolish to think you would need prompting to say you were sorry."

"I don't understand what you mean," he says, settling himself back.

"We will talk again tomorrow. Now, sleep, child, and I will go and see if your brother has settled for the night. In the morning, perhaps Legolas will help you begin to make your bow. Though it is not the strength or size of the bow that is important, but the skill put into the making of the arrows. And that is a skill you will need to learn too."

I stop speaking and listen, for I can hear Elladan. I must return to him. Fortunately, Estel's hearing is less acute than mine. He slides down until I can only see him from the nose upwards. His eyes are already half-closed.

"Sleep well, Estel. Tomorrow, your day will be full, helping Halbarad, learning bow-making from Legolas, tending your tree, writing your story …"

"Looking after Spider. I will be able to ride him soon, won't I?"

"Next week. Elladan will help you. He and Elrohir together will make sure Spider does as he is told. Now, good night."

"Good night, Papa."

I kiss his brow, blow out the candle near his bed and leave him there, closing the door behind me.

For Elladan is becoming worse and it is my belief that tonight we will know. We will know if he intends to stay with us or if he will leave. For something has disturbed his spirit, I know it now, and it will cost me dear to bring him back to himself.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I rest, with my eyes closed, in the corner of the room where Elrohir sent me. The source of Elladan's illness has been expelled from him. I did not know that he had gone up against a creature capable of infecting him as it did. It had planted in him the seeds of despair and he had given up, despite all that we did to help him. In the end, I had to lead him to the light myself.

It is not something I do lightly. If one of our kind decides they wish to leave this life it is not an easy matter to bring them back. It is something I could not do for my beloved wife. But Elladan held on, followed me back, and now he lies in his brother's arms. Elrohir is sitting behind him, leaning against the wall, his eyes closed. I rest here, spent, and wonder if I shall be called upon ever again to go through such a trial.

Dawn is coming, a grey light stealing into the room just as I closed my eyes. Today will be a bright day, for my son has returned to us.

After a few minutes of rest I open my eyes. There, on the chair by the bed sits my youngest son. He is leaning forward and holding Elladan's hand, and they are talking so quietly I can barely hear the words. Elrohir is watching them, so I feel safe to leave them be for a while.

I listen carefully and the words begin to make sense.

"You mean, you nearly went away," says Estel. "You nearly had to go?"

"Aye, Estel. But Father told me it was not yet time. I have to teach you how to keep your pony at home. You must learn to use a sword and which prey to kill and which to leave."

"And you have to help me with choosing the words for my page of the book. Elrohir's going to help with the pictures."

"I am, Brother. We have much to do." Elrohir lets his head fall back against the wall. He is as exhausted and relieved as I.

They are silent for a moment, and I gaze through half-closed eyes at the triptych of my sons.

"Elladan," Estel says, hesitantly. "Did I hurt you – you know, when I touched you, yesterday. I thought perhaps I hurt you."

"No, you did not hurt me. You gave me strength and I needed every ounce of strength last night. I did not hurt you, did I?"

"Papa dragged me away, and Legolas. I was tired and I knew something inside me had been – was - less – I don't know how to describe it. Papa helped me, told me what I tried to do but I don't think I understand what happened, not really. Are you tired? Are you going to sleep again?"

Estel holds his brother's hand tight. There is such strength in him.

"No, Estel. I shall not sleep again today. I think I am hungry."

And with that announcement, I know my son will be well and it will happen without endangering Estel. Now that he is safe we can begin to harness such power to heal as he may have. Who knows when he may need that skill to call people back into the world?

"Papa, Elladan is hungry!" Estel runs to me and grabs my arm, shaking it as if to wake me. I remember the first time he did that and I made him laugh by pretending to yawn and come awake very slowly, as if I were human.

"I heard, Estel. Run to the kitchens and tell them he is ready to eat. They will know what to prepare. Then go and get dressed. I will read what you have written soon."

"Yes, Papa!"

Then he is gone. It could have been so different this morning. Perhaps his touch was enough to tip the balance in Elladan's favour – or in favour of hope. A part of me believes that is what happened.

Hope was given to Elladan and so he is still here. It is enough.