ONE YEAR INTO TRAINING:
When I was limping back to my bunk area after a particularly brutal training session, someone had suddenly ran into me, throwing me to the ground. I groaned, cursing loudly.
"What the fuck?" I growled, feeling my foot go numb.
"I am so sorry miss! I was just trying to find someone to help me figure out what to do!" A high pitched woman's voice said, I looked up, at a boy much taller than myself. Not a woman.
"Dammit, I can't feel my foot." I sigh, trying to stand up, only to fall back down.
"Here, let me help you." He squeaked. He tried to pull me up, but he tripped on nothing, like a klutz and fell down on top of me knocking the air out of my lungs. I gasped for air, as he hurried to get off of me. "I'm so sorry!" He apologized, he picked me up with no effort. "Where is your bunk?" He asked, heading the wrong direction.
"The other way." I groaned. He turned around, and began walking the right way.
"I'm Mark, I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean to. I was just trying to find someone to tell me where the men's bunks were. Because I was boosted up to this class."
"The men's bunks are near the woman's bunks." I say, my air coming back to me. He seemed like a nice kid, glancing up at him I realized he was crying. "Why are you crying Mark?"
"Because I hurt you and I feel really bad about it." He sniffled. I sigh.
"It's alright, you didn't mean too."
"Are you sure, miss?"
"Yes I am sure, now stop calling me miss, my name is Jaq."
"I apologize."
"Stop doing that."
"What?"
"Apologizing. I get it."
"Oh..." He reaches the woman's bunks. "My sister will be here one day. She is the class behind us."
"I'm sure she will do fine." I replied to him, as he kicked the door softly. Jess opened the door.
"Holy Wall Maria, Jaq what did you do?" She asked, opening the door farther, pulling Mark inside.
"Uh-uh I don't think I should be in the woman's bunks" Mark stutters. Jess pulled him over to my bed,
"Put her down." She said, pointing. He set me down gently.
"... Mark." I said as he turned to leave.
"Yeah?"
"Come back here tomorrow to help me just in case my foot still hurts. I'll show you around and stuff, if it does." I muttered. He smiled largely.
"Alright!" He squeaked. His voice high pitched and annoying. His face showed joy, as he ran out of the bunk. Jess laughed,
"You just made that boy's day."
"I guess."
"Now what did you do?"
"He ran into me, and I wasn't expecting it so I fell."
"Dumb ass."
"Shut up!" I growled, she smiled at me, and went to her bed. I fell asleep in my clothing, as I normally did when I was more tired than usually, or the rare occasions when I was injured. The next day I woke up to Jess shaking me.
"That boy is here again."
"What boy?" I mumbled, trying to roll over.
"The one that hurt your ankle yesterday, speaking of witch, is it any better?" She asked me. I rolled my ankle around, not feeling any pain.
"No, it still hurts, help me out there so I can show him around, like I promised if I was still in pain. There is a crutch by the door, so I can use that." I sighed, sitting up in the bed. She nodded, helping me up,
"Here we go, Jaq." She wrapped my arm over her shoulder, and I fake limped to the door.
"Thanks." I muttered, grabbing the crutch, leaning on it for support. Mark waited outside, eyes bright, like a boy on his birthday in the inner walls.
"Good morning Jaq, is your foot feeling any better?" He asked. I shrugged.
"I guess. It doesn't hurt quite as much, but the pain is there. So instead of training today, I'll show you around." I lied.
"Thank you!" He exclaimed, blue eyes huge.
PRESENT:
"Mark, what's wrong?" I ask again. He stalks forward, and stands right in front of me, I have to look up to meet his gaze.
"Nothing is 'wrong' Jaq, how could anything be wrong?" He asked furiously.
"What the fuck? Tell me what is going on now." I demand, trying to keep my face calm, my mask had fallen far to many times today.
"You are not my captain, although you appear to be fucking him." He hissed. I flinched, as if he had slapped me.
"How did you find out?" I growl. Clenching my fists. We hadn't done that, but he still knew about our relationship.
"You were all over each other last night." He replied, a smile creeped over his face, not a nice one, not the one I learned to expect from Mark.
"You did see us." I gasp, remembering the sound we had heard.
"Who knew, the great Jaq Makosky, was ticklish?" He looked at me, "You know, I've noticed when you train, a long scar that is on your stomach, I wonder what happened?" He whispers.
"Stop, Mark, please." I say softly.
"Stop what?"
"Stop trying to make me hate you!" I shout.
"Hate me then, you bitch! Hurt me! Make me pay for belittling you!" He hisses. I punch him, and he reels backwards. Tears stream down my face, as he catches himself. "Beat the shit out of me, Jaq!" He shouts. "God knows I deserve it!" He screams, but I'm no longer listening, as he runs towards me, I use his weight against him, to send him flying onto his face, behind me. "I heard you had a sister." He coughs, as I kick him square in the stomach. Soldiers near by shout, not trying to break us up, knowing my reputation. "You let her die, yeah!? Just watched her get eaten on that day!" He screamed. He kicks his foot out, knocking me onto my ass. He grabs me by my hair and yanks my head back, then shoved it into the ground as heard as he could. Everything spins for a moment, but I manage to get up. He shoves me into a wall, and I slide down it, gasping for breath, as he walks up to me I suddenly surprise him by standing up swiftly, and jumping at him. He has the air knocked out of him at impact, and I'm on top of him, I'm not trying to kill him, I just want to hurt him. Badly.
"Fuck you!" I growl, "You did it! You made me hate you! Are you happy!?" I scream at him. He spits blood, into my already bloodied face, a mixture of my own and Nana's. Someone grabs me under the arms and rips me off of him, yanking an arm behind my back, pinning the other to my side. "LET ME GO!" I screech. "HE ASKED FOR IT!"
"We need to stop meeting like this." A voice says in my ear.
"Let me go." I reply, breathing heavily. Levi has a firm grasp on me, I'm unable to move, just like that day. Mark sits up slowly, holding his head, glaring at me.
"Bitch." He growled. I struggle in Levi's arms, ready to punch Mark again.
"Mark." Levi simply saying his name, visibly made Mark calm down. "I understand you are upset about what happened. But was provoking Jaq, really the best way to go?" The adrenalin is running out, and I feel my knees buckles, but Levi doesn't let me fall. Mark gets up, and leaves, after Levi said something else, but I wasn't paying attention. "Let's go, Jaq. I'll bring you back to your room. You're filthy." Levi says, hoisting me up, wrapping my arm over his shoulder.
"I'm surprised you even recognized me, you didn't earlier." I breathe, still out of breath, pain all through out my body, and I begin to notice the sticky blood covering me, as my anger simmers down.
"I didn't see your shitty attitude before." Levi scoffs. I limp, as he walks calmly in the general direction of the building with the soldier's rooms. "Your sister is dead isn't she?" He suddenly asked after a moment of silence.
"How did you-"
"Why else would you join the Survey Corps?" He asked. I don't reply.
"Jaq!" My head shot up at the sound of Leo's voice, pain ran through my head and I regretted it instantly. He was running towards us. Once he reached us, Levi suddenly picked me up and placed me on Leo's back. I was too tired to complain. When I look over, Levi is already leaving.
"Leo..." I sob, resting my head on his back.
"It's alright." He whispered, bringing me to my room. "I'm not letting Mark stay in our squad."
"...Alright."
"Did he tell you why he did that?" Leo suddenly asks.
"No, but I can guess what happened. His sister killed herself, didn't she?" I murmur.
"Yes. We didn't learn what she knew, either. She offed herself in a bathroom, when we allowed her to clean up. She used one of her belts."
"I can see why Mark was so upset, but he didn't need to do that. He didn't need to provoke me into beating the shit out of him. He didn't need to say the things he did." I sob.
"What did he say?"
"He knows about us, Leo. And he mentioned Lizzie, to try and make me fight him"
"And it worked."
"...It did. Yes." By this time, we're at my room, he sets me down gently.
"Are you alright to walk?" He asked, holding my shoulders, in case I collapsed.
"Yes." I open the door to the room, and see Annabell sitting on the other bed. I stand there for a moment, remembering that Nana and I were suppose to share a room, since the last person I roomed with died on an expedition a couple weeks ago. Annabell notices the condition I'm in, but she still smiles at me for a moment. I nod at her, and head straight for the bathroom. I hear Leo talking to her quietly, I'm unsure of what he is telling her, as I strip out of the now dried, blood caked clothing. I turn the shower on, and just stand under the warm water, before I even attempt to scrub the blood off of my face, and body.
About a half hour later, after one of the longest showers of my life, I leave the bathroom in a towel, and then I notice Leo is still here. He stands up,
"I'll leave the room for a moment, tell me when you're dressed, we need to talk." He says. I nod, as he walks out the door.
I swiftly get changed, into the uniform once again, I have business to attend too, with Leo in town. My ankle throbs slightly, but I ignore it. I open the door letting Leo back in. He glanced at me before walking in, sitting on my bed once again. I sit in a wooden chair, crossing my legs. Annabell was leaning against a wall, her arms crossed. I notice tears in her eyes, it hurts me to see her like that. All I ever do is hurt anyone.
"-aq. Jaq, hey, are you listening?" Leo asked me. I looked back at him.
"Sorry, please repeat that?" I requested.
"Annabell and Alex are now in our squad. We don't have any missions for a while. Maybe two weeks." He repeated. "I was lucky and I was able to get both of them in the squad together." Leo was friends with some of the higher ups. Sometimes I forgot about that. What would they do if they found out about our relationship? It wouldn't be good, that was for sure. Right at that moment, I was grateful that Mark hadn't outed that little piece of information too loudly. I ran a hand through my hair, it was still damp.
"So we're just going to sit around doing nothing for two weeks?" I asked. |
"You're certainly in a hurry to get back out of the walls. I thought that one time would have been enough." His voice had a warning note to it. "Now, are you ready to go? We have to go."
"What are we doing anyways?" I ask, resting my arm on the able next to me.
"Would you stop questioning orders?"
"No." A lazy, half-assed, sarcastic smile spreads across my face. He blinks.
"Seriously?"
"Yes."
"This is why you were told you would never receive a higher rank, despite your skill."
"Well maybe I don't want to be a higher rank."
"I don't see why you wouldn't."
"Did you ever think I disobey direct orders for a reason?"
"Are you admitting to treason?"
"Shut up, Leo." A ghost of a smile on my lips. It's the closest I've gotten to truly smiling in a long time. Leo knew me, he knew I had reasons for everything I did. Even if he didn't like them. Annabell had a look of shock on her face when she noticed the end of my lips quirked up.
"Why, Jaq. Is that a smile?" Leo teased, his eyes shinning. It hit me then, that he had never seen me smile.
"It could be" I replied, standing up. "Come on, we gotta go." He stood up with me, and left the room. I said good-bye to Annabell, and she waved, mouthing;
'See you later' even though she couldn't talk, we communicated just fine.
As we walked out into the hall I glanced up at Leo, "What is it we have to do?" I asked, curious.
"Nothing in particular, anything you want." Leo shrugged, smiling.
"You said we had stuff to do." I accused
"That I did. But I never stated it was military stuff, you just assumed."