As I stood there in the middle of the road watching the headlights from Liam's car disappear out of sight, I felt a sense of clarity come over me. He was right. I didn't want Amy to move on. I didn't want her to be in love with anyone else, especially the uber cool Reagan. I didn't want her kissing anyone else...because I wanted her to only do that with me. Fuck. Liam had made me realise my own feelings before I had.
I wasn't just jealous at the thought of losing my best friend. I was crazy jealous of losing Amy false stop. Of her never looking at me with those beautiful eyes. Of never feelings those perfectly formed lips on mine. She truly was my soulmate and it had taken her finding someone else for me to realise. What a ducking idiot I had been. I had thought it was Liam I wanted. Liam who would make me happy, when all the tube it had been Amy.
I guess that's why I hadn't told my parents about Liam, because I knew they would ultimately be sad. My mum and dad were soulmates, and they saw that in me and Amy. Jeez I'm such a donut...seems like everyone could see it apart from me, and now I had blown it. Amy had moved on with Reagan. DJ Reagan with her blue dipped hair and her retro truck and her sexy drawl. How could I compete with that. I had seen it in Amy's face in the car park. Heard it in her voice when she had told me to go. To leave her alone..fuck! I'm such a idiot.
Images of Amy flashed through my mind. The way I had reacted at the threesome. How I had definitely felt something when we had kissed. Something different to the previous kisses. And then the jealousy when Liam had started kissing her. I had thought the jealousy had been over Liam, but now as I thought about it...I realised it had been for Amy. She had looked so fucking hot that night. So beautiful. She always looked beautiful. She looked beautiful without even trying.
"Fuck!" I said out loud as the truth started sinking in. I WAS in love with Amy in the same way she was with me. Correction - HAD been with me. Fresh tears formed in my eyes as it hit home the realisation that she had told me she had moved on. That she wasn't in love with me anymore. Was it true? Or was she just angry? She had only been seeing Reagan for a couple of weeks. Was she really over her feelings for me? Only one way to find out Ashcroft and I started walking away from home in the direction of Amy's house.
On the short walk to Amy's house I tried to compose what I would say to her when I saw her. How I would make her see that we were soulmates that belonged together. That whatever she had with DJ girl wouldn't last. Not like us. As I approached the house I was relieved to see that Reagan's truck wasn't outside, and that there was a light on in Amy's bedroom.
I knocked on the front door and Amy's mum opened it up and greeted me with a warm hug.
"Karma dear. How lovely. I haven't seen much of you lately. Why what a pretty dress." She turned her attention back towards the TV. "Go on up sweet. Amy came home about 15 minutes ago."
"Thanks Mrs Raudenfeld" I smiled as I headed towards the stairs. It was only when I got to the top of the landing and headed towards Amy's closed bedroom that I heard them. Heard Amy "Reagan...please..fuck!" I stopped dead in my tracks and felt the sickness start to form in my stomach. I grabbed the wall to steady myself. I was too late! I turned and quickly, and as quietly as I could made my way downstairs.
"Amy's asleep" I lied to her mum as she looked surprised to see me back down so soon. "I'll umm catch up with her tomorrow. Bye"
I made it to the roadside before I threw up. Tears streaming down my face. I had finally woken up to how I was feeling, but Amy had moved on and I was too late.