When you make your living gambling on whether or not you'll win a game of pool, it's not a good thing to be off your game. Especially if it's been a whole fucking year since you've won a goddamn match.
This was the problem for Soul, a guy who did make his living playing pool in a local bar in Death City. He played pool, won a couple hundred bucks with each game he played, and then he would drink a beer payed for by the losing party.
Until about a year ago when he lost his edge. And he lost his edge for a stupid reason that no one would take seriously if he actually told them the truth.
A girl.
One day at the bar, he had seen this girl, gone up to her, bought her a drink, talked to her for a bit, played a game of pool with her and ended up going home and having, what turned out to be a one night stand. She had left in the morning before he even woke up. He would be lying if he said he wasn't in the least bit hurt, and he often had to tell that lie in order to keep up his reputation. Because getting hurt by the girl leaving after a one night stand marks you as pathetic. But when your game is suddenly off after you go home and have sex with a girl and she leaves without a word? People start to get suspicious and assume that you actually fell for the girl.
And he did fall for the girl, so it made sense.
He was still okay at pool. He beat any new guys who came in looking for a game. But those didn't pay very well.
He had managed, though. He made money by selling some of his drawings on the internet. It turns out people actually liked the shit that he drew.
He didn't care what people thought, though. He didn't care much about anything lately.
He had had a good life playing pool and he had made plenty of money doing that. He was the best and earned a fair chunk of change. Money that went towards rent, food, and beer. The essentials. But that changed all because of some girl.
No. It wasn't "some girl". He refused to ever refer to her as "some girl". No. She was the girl. His girl.
Well, she wasn't his, considering she had left him without a word.
Soul turned the television on in his apartment, hoping to tear his thoughts away from his dilemma of not being able to play an actual game of pool. Although flipping to a channel going over the highlights of last night's big fashion show in over in Hollywood may not have been the best way to stop pining for his "lost love."
She was the famous fashion designer Maka Albarn, so he was able read about her in tabloids and magazines. See how she's doing in life. She even made a few TV appearances, as she did last night at the fashion show, where she gave an interview talking about her newest line of formalwear.
All the reporters asked about all the materials, how she managed to get hoods to look so chic and classy. However one reporter went and asked her the one thing she had been asked countless time for the past year. He asked her about the necklace she always wore.
His necklace.
He gave her a necklace that night they met. She had fallen asleep and he put it around her neck. He didn't know why. He just… did. It was a red guitar pick with his name on it, on a silver chain. It was simple gesture that he thought was romantic, as far as gifts after potential one night stands go.
God, he was such a fucking sap.
The reporter of the screen asked her why she wore it, where she got it, and if it meant anything special.
"It's my lucky necklace." She replied. "I don't know where it came from. I found it on the ground somewhere, and it's brought me good luck. That's all. It's not really special, per se." She gave a shrug with her words as if it didn't even matter, as she did every time she was asked that.
Her words were so casual, holding no meaning, showing no emotion at all. He winced as if they were like a knife to his heart. It was his necklace that he gave to her and although it was special to him, it meant nothing to her. His short fingernails dug into his palm with his tight fist as if physical pain could ease the damage done to his emotions. If the necklace didn't matter to Maka, then why did she still wear it?
No. It meant nothing to her, and it meant nothing to him. She meant nothing to him. He didn't care.
Like he could convince himself of that.
He pressed the power button on the remote a little too hard, trying to get her off the screen and out of sight. He was left with silence, instead of seeing and hearing Maka, he sat dwelling on his thoughts of her.
Getting her out of sight was simple, getting her out of mind was damn near impossible. She meant everything to him. He had only known her for a matter of hours, but he fell in love with her from the very first time he had laid eyes on her and tossed her a wink out of nowhere. He remembered how she talked to him, at first with hostility, then with boredom as she discussed her job, and finally loosening up to a cheeky, arrogant attitude when they played pool together.
Even after a full year he still remembered every detail about her. What she wore, the way she looked, the way she talked, the way she felt, the way she-
No! He did not want to go down memory lane again. He did that enough, and he was damn sick and tired of it. Walking down that same road every day for a whole year grew monotonous.
He grabbed his favourite leather jacket off the hook on the wall next to his front door and headed out. Maybe a game of pool would get his mind off her.
The two blocks between his house and the bar was a good five minute walk. He made it to the bar, the familiar smell of beer and one or two cigarettes wafting through the air as he stepped through the door. He headed over to the pool table, greeting Star with a bro hug.
"Hey bro, you're a bit late. Something hold you up?" he asked Soul, with a big over exaggerated wink.
Right. Soul had met some random girl the previous night at the bar and the guys saw him leave with her. The two of them didn't do anything. He just made it appear that way by the way he left with her. They just walked out the door and went their separate ways. Something Soul had become accustomed to in this past year. Something he did just to keep up his reputation and all.
Soul tossed him a big smirk. "Something like that." He turned to see who was playing. Two new guys he hadn't seen before. That never happened. "Alright, I'm up next. Who am I playing?"
"I'll play you, Eater." Star said to him. "That is, if you're willing to get beat by such a big star like me. Unless you've managed to get your game back."
"Oh please. Just because I've been a little off for a while, doesn't mean you don't still suck at the game. You're on, buddy."
"If by 'a while' you mean a whole year, then yeah, it's been a while. And a little off? Man, you've been terrible. You've managed to lose your edge completely. You're now, like, a circle. No edges whatsoever. "
"Whatever. Now shut up man, or else I bring up that new tat of yours." He threatened, his voice soft enough so only Star could hear him.
His response was a swift, powerful punch to the arm.
Soul rubbed the dull pain in his bicep from Star's surprising strength. "Hey, Star and I are up next!" He called to the two guys playing, who only had six balls left combined. And they kept missing. This was gonna be a while.
Four balls, six beers, and two comments doubting Eater could actually get his game back later, the game was over and Star was getting ready to make the first shot.
Soul barely paid any attention to the game. He went up to make his shot whenever it was his turn and when Star shot, he returned to his phone surfing the web checking to see if there was any recent news about Maka.
She had done some photoshoots a few months ago put together by some famous musician lady he could care less about. He read the articles accompanying the shoots, but ignored the paragraph all about the musician putting them together, and skipped to the stuff about Maka. One shoot remained his favorite; standing behind racks of clothes, she would pop out from behind the racks from different sides in each looked adorable in every one. One photo stood out the most. Leg kicked up, head tossed back, she pushed the rack of clothing with a laugh. She had looked so happy; so carefree; so perfect. He had had that as his phone background for a while until he almost got caught staring at it. At the bar.
God, he was a hopeless sap.
Another photoshoot showcased her new maternity line, with Maka as the model. Apparently her musician friend had thought it would be a great idea to have the designer wear them. It made Soul's heart skip a beat to see her appear pregnant. It took a long while for his mind to settle down and rationalise, coming to the conclusion that, no, she can't be pregnant, and it was probably just a pillow or something stuffed in her shirt. It was amazing how realistic it looked. She still looked beautiful in that shoot. Even when she looked three times her normal size and looked like she had a watermelon in her shirt, she still looked as stunning as ever.
After about 10 minutes of loading due to bad internet connection, Google finally came up and Soul found an article on her having done a new photoshoot with her musician friend. Soul was about to click on the link when…
"Eater!" Star shouted so loudly it startled Soul into almost dropping his phone.
"Damn it, Star! Would it kill you to be a little more patient? Cool it, I'm taking my turn now." He walked up to the table. He was losing badly. He still had five balls to sink before he could think about touching that 8 ball, and Star already trying to sink the fateful black sphere. He took his turn sinking two balls and missing terribly on the third. He stepped back and pulled his phone out of his pocket only to have it snatched out of his hands before he could turn it on.
"Nope! You've got to pay attention to the shot that'll put you in your place, Eater." Star said as he stuffed the device in his own pocket.
Soul glared as he watched Star line up his next move. It was a perfect shot and there was no way anyone could miss it.
Soul would have missed it.
Star called the pocket and pulled his arm back and sunk the 8 ball with ease, causing the room to resound in cheers and high fives. Soul just sighed in defeat, having already expected this, he wasn't all that disappointed. He just wanted his phone back. Star had started his big spiel about how he won, and he was the biggest star there ever was, and how the pool gods shined down on him and all that bullshit.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll go get the beers. Give me my phone back, you asshole." Soul grumbled to him.
"Eater, calm down, bro. Just because you got put in your place by losing to me again, doesn't mean you have to be so grumpy about it. Lighten up, man."
"Can I just have my fucking phone back?" Soul's jaw was tense, and his voice was threateningly low.
"Yeah, sure." He pulled it out of his pocket and extended it to him, only to pull it back at the last second. "After you get the beers."
Soul glared harder and turned back to the bar to get the order of nine beers - better make that eight. He wanted to get of this place as soon as he could.
He brought the beers over and traded Star his for his phone.
Once his phone was back in his possession, he bade them all goodbye saying he was going to get some lunch and then come back later.
Like that would happen.
His favourite pizza place, Rest in Pizza, was his home away from home when the bar seemed to become less than welcoming. His usual order consisted of a Mountain Dew and a large pepperoni pizza. Whenever he didn't finish all the food, he would take it home and eat the leftovers over the course of the next few days.
The waitress took the menu from him and left to get his food, leaving him alone to finally get around to looking at that new photoshoot. The web browser was still up from the last time he had his phone out so he clicked on the link to the photoshoot, waiting impatiently it took forever to load due to the shitty wifi in the restaurant. He stole a glance at the cardboard triangle that sat on the table advertising the dessert pizza, to help pass the time.
The waitress arrived with his food and asked if he needed a refill. She left to get a pitcher full of soda, and Soul looked back at his phone. The page finally loaded. He picked it up and placed his finger on the screen to scroll down when the battery decided to die.
"Just my fucking luck," he grumbled.
"You should watch your language, Eater. You're in a high class joint here." The familiar voice of Star came from behind him.
Soul looked up at him and rolled his eyes. "This place ain't high class. Now what the hell are you doing here?" he grumbled up to him as he grabbed his slice of pizza.
Star sat across the table from him and grabbed a slice for himself, not listening to Soul's protests. "I came here to check on you. You normally lose twice before you decide to bail."
Soul rolled his eyes again, trying to ignore his. "Shouldn't you be back at your place eating some of your girl's home cooked meals, instead of eating the pizza that I payed for?"
"Nah, she's taking care of her friend's kid while they're off running an important errand in town." He explained with a bored tone. "Now, back to the question I asked that you so casually avoided, why'd you leave so early?"
"I was just hungry, is there a problem with that?" Soul shrugged off his question, taking a bite of pizza, avoiding Star's interrogating gaze.
"Yeah right. Soul, you ain't fooling anyone. You've been off your game ever since that girl left you after that simple one night stand. Most people have forgotten about that, because, you know, it's been a whole fucking year." He spat the words at Soul, leaning closer to him as if to enunciate his point even more. "Dude, you've got to forget about her. She was just some girl and besides, you've had plenty of fine women since then. Or at least, you've had plenty of chances. You haven't taken any though."
Soul looked up at him with a start. "How the hell do you know that?"
"It's written all over your face. The guys at the bar still believe your bullshit, but I know you too well."
"Hey, you used to do the same thing. Admit it, neither of us have had sex with more than one person." Soul said taking a swig of his soda.
"True words, my friend." Star leaned back putting his hands behind his head. "Out of all the guys who hang out in the bar, we're the classiest assholes of the lot."
Soul let out a half chuckle.
"So back to the subject at hand, what is wrong with you? Why haven't you done something to find this chick? Hunt her down, find her, I don't know, do something."
"Why would I do that?"
"Because you love her. Any idiot with half a brain could see that."
"You know, Blake," Soul addressed him by his actual name, something he only ever did when he was, either joking around, or irritated with him. "Ever since you met your girl, you've been more of a pain in the ass than ever. She's actually made you care for people." Soul wasn't sure whether he was annoyed at the recent insightfulness coming from his friend or jealous of his actual happy and serious relationship.
"And your girl has made you care for nothing." Yep. He was jealous. "Dude, either get over her, or go find her. Stop moping around here. Get the girl, and then you'll probably get your game back." Star let out a low chuckle. "Then she'll be the only one better than you."
"You think it's that simple? You think I wouldn't have done that already? No, I can't go after her, she doesn't care about me. She doesn't want me. She made that perfectly clear with the whole leaving-without-a-word thing. And I fucking can't get over her. What do you think I've been trying to do for this past year?"
"Maybe if you stopped looking her up and staring at pictures of her, it's be easier to forget about her." Soul looked at him, his eyes wide. "Of course, I know about that you asshat."
"Whatever, man, I don't care anymore."
"Yeah, I've noticed. You don't care about anything. Do I have to get Tsubaki to talk some sense into you?"
Right. Tsubaki Impossible-to-Pronounce-Her-Last-Name, a girl Star used to know when he was younger. She and Star had been going out for six months now and she had this really obnoxious way of being a real people person, and being able to calm anyone down, see past any facade of Everything's-going-fine anyone had, and get anyone to actually voice their feelings. She had rubbed off a bit on Star, thus making him a bit more insightful and a hell of a lot more annoying.
"No, I don't need anyone to talk some sense into me. What I need is to be alone. Can't I have that?" What was he saying? He didn't need to be alone. He had been alone for the past year. What he needed was the opposite. He needed his girl.
"Maybe you need a break. A break from life here in Death City. Maybe you should go and find your girl. Hey, isn't that why she came to the bar in the first place? Because she needed a break?"
"Yeah, she did. But that's not gonna happen. She doesn't care about me, so what would I look like showing up out of nowhere? Hell, I doubt she would even recognise me." His bangs fell over his eyes as he lowered his gaze, trying to ignore the pain that shot through him as he spoke those words.
"Right, like you have such an easy face to forget. It's not like you have red eyes and white hair, or anything. Soul, stop being an idiot. Come to bar tonight and play some pool and don't bring your phone. Hang out with your pals, instead of looking up your lost love on the internet."
"I'll come to the bar. No promises I'll leave my phone at home, though."
"Right. Whatever you say. Just make sure to actually come to the bar later. If you don't show up by 6:00, I will come and drag your sorry ass out of your house. Or worse, I'll have Tsubaki come and drag it for me." His voice was low and threatening. He got up and left the restaurant, leaving Soul with three quarters of a pizza, a dead phone, and thoughts he really didn't want to dwell on.
Of course he wanted to leave Death City and go and find Maka. Of course he wanted to see her again. Of course he wanted to sweep her off her feet and tell her how he really feels. But she didn't feel the same way so there was no point.
God, it had been a fucking year. Why the hell was he still this crazy about her? This shit wasn't supposed to last this long, was it?
But it did.
Soul asked the waitress for a takeaway box to put his leftover pizza in, and when she came back, he packed away the food and headed for home.
He got to his apartment, plugging in his phone as soon as he got to an outlet, and going to his laptop on the couch to find the article there. Luck did not seem to be on his side as he pressed the power button only to find that his laptop was dead like his phone. He scrambled to grab his charger when the lights flickered before going out completely, only adding to his incredible misfortune.
"Fucking perfect. Now what?" Soul grumbled and walked over to the window to open the blinds, tripping over the coffee table and a chair in the close to pitch black room.
He opened the blinds to actually let some light in and collapsed on the couch in a slump. He couldn't do anything, he didn't care about anything, and he was starting to get real tired of his apathetic lifestyle.
Realising that he had no clocks that weren't powered with electricity, he figured he should just head to the bar now so he wouldn't lose track of time and end up being late. The last thing he needed was for Star to come and see him "moping around" in the dark. He would just make some crack about how he's gone completely emo.
He unplugged his phone from the wall and shoved it and the charger into his front pocket, as he made his way outside, and began walking the two blocks, that somehow seemed to get longer with each passing day.
He was maybe a hundred yards away when he noticed a girl standing on the opposite side of the street staring at the bar.
She looked sad and lost. She looked how Soul felt.
A few yards closer he noticed her blonde hair and could just barely make out a silver chain hanging from her neck.
Is that…? No, it couldn't be.
The girl turned around and started to walk away.
Soul's heart was pounding out of his chest, and he was short of breath. He tried to call out her name. But nothing came out of his mouth, as she turned the corner disappearing from sight.
He was reaching his arm out, as if he could try and stop her from walking away.
He heaved a big sigh. What was he thinking? There was no way it could have been her. He was probably just imagining things.
He heaved another resigned sigh, feeling even worse than earlier. His shoulders slumped and he walked into the bar, trying to slow down his still racing heart beat.
He went over to the pool table, and looked around for Star, since he was the one who was making him come to the bar in the first place. He asked the general area where he was, making a mental note to kill him if he didn't show up by the allotted time he gave to Soul.
"Oh, he's not here." A short and feisty girl named Patti answered him.
"Yeah thanks for that. Where is he?"
She shrugged in response as she took a swig of beer.
"Also what are you doing here, Pat? Don't you have like, a museum opening or something with your brother?" He asked.
"Oh that? No, Kiddo got sick earlier this week and decided to postpone it. And he let me come down here while he's at home resting." She explained with the usual perkiness she always had.
Patti's brother, some bigshot famous sculptor whose name Soul refused to remember. It was Kyle Something… He was her foster brother, so they didn't have the same last name, making it all the more confusing. Patti always just called him Kiddo, so that was just his name in Soul's mind.
He was some sculptor known for the perfect symmetry of his works. He and Patti made quite an odd match considering, although she was also a famous artist, she was known for her abstract art. They were complete opposites in practically every way. But they had known each other their whole lives, and they were best friends..
However being a sophisticated, famous artist just wasn't Patti's style, so she normally hung out at the bar, not as much in the past six months, as she used to since Kiddo tried to keep her focusing on her painting. But when she does hang out, she manages to kick almost everyone's ass in pool. Everyone except for Star and, prior to his year long slump, Soul.
She may not seem like it with her cute and happy personality, but when challenged, she was scarily competitive and damn good at pool. She earned a lot of respect amongst the guys at the bar once they found out how quite terrifying she could get.
In a way she almost reminded him of Maka.
No, no, no! Soul was not thinking of Maka. Or the girl outside who may or may not have looked like Maka.
What would Maka be doing here anyways? She was a high class, famous fashion designer. She had plenty of other things-better things-to do than come to some bar in Death City. The only reason she ever came in the first place was because Kyle/Kiddo/Whatever his name wanted a One-of-a-Kind done for a… museum opening.
"Patti!" Soul spoke with such urgency it made Patti jump.
"What is it?" She asked.
"You had a museum opening, right?"
"Yeah, but Kiddo postponed it. I just told you that, silly."
"Do you think it would be okay if I stopped by your place? I've got to ask Kyle something." Soul was feeling hopeful, thinking that maybe Maka was in town.
"I don't see why not. But what do you need to ask him?"
"Can't talk right now. I've got to go. I'll tell you later!" He called to her as he ran out the door.
The air felt pleasant with a slight March chill. Soul stole a short glance down the street toward the direction the girl he had seen earlier walked off. He just shook his head, turning toward the Gallows Mansion. His feet hit the pavement repeatedly, going as fast as they could carry him. His thoughts were going so fast that, even if he were driving his motorcycle, he still would not have been able to catch up to the speed of his frantic mind. His brain was racing faster than he thought possible. It was filled with a million thoughts, all about one thing:
Maka.
After running for about ten minutes, he made it to the bottom of the hill, staring up the hundreds of steps the led up to his destination. He sprinted up the stairs and rang the doorbell of the giant mansion.
He leaned down placing his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. Not a minute had passed by when the door opened revealing a man wearing a very nice tuxedo, and pristine white gloves.
"Welcome to Gallows Mansion, may I help you, sir?" the man, whom Soul could only assume was the butler, said in a crisp British accent. He looked down at Soul who was clutching his chest trying to slow his heart rate. "My goodness, are you alright?"
"Yeah… 'm fine… Need to… see… Kidd-I mean… Kyle." He said in between breaths.
"The master is not feeling well right now, can I take a message? Or perhaps you could come back another time?"
Soul stood up straight, gathering enough breath to sound demanding "No, I need to talk to him now."
The butler seemed taken aback by the command. He complied and led Soul inside over to a couch where Kyle was "resting."
He was sitting up straight, dressed in a suit, and had a sketchbook, a very sharp pencil, a ruler, and protractor.
"Master, there's someone here to see you." the butler said, gesturing towards Soul.
Kyle didn't look up from the sketch/plan/drawing he was doing, and just waved his visitor in.
Soul walked into the room and took a seat on the couch, and cleared his throat to get the attention of the man who was drawing very precise lines.
He looked up, "Oh, it's you, Soul. Hello, how are doing?"
"You were supposed to have some big fancy schmancy museum opening thing, right?" Soul asked frantically.
"Well yes but we postponed it, why?"
"You had one about a year ago, and you wore a Maka Albarn Original to it, right?"
"I didn't know you paid any attention to that sort of thing, but yes, that is correct."
"Did you get a One-of-a-Kind or anything from her for this museum opening?"
Kyle looked at Soul confused, "No, not this time. Why?"
Soul leaned back on the couch and swore under his breath.
Why had he gotten his hopes up like that? Even if she was in town, she wasn't there for him. And even if he did go and find her, what would he say to her? Maybe this was for the best.
"No reason," he answered Kyle.
"Is that all you came here for? Can I get you something? A drink, a snack, or anything?" Kyle offered.
Soul stood up and shook his head. "Nah. Sorry for barging in here like that. You go back to whatever it was you were doing. I'll be heading out now." He answered, his voice resigned and his shoulders slumped more than ever.
"Alright, I'll see you around. Oh, and Soul, if you ever need any more fashion advice, I'd be glad to help. God knows you need it." He joked.
Soul forced an amused smile and failed. He said goodbye and walked towards the door, thanking the butler on the way out.
As he started walking down the seemingly endless flight of stairs, his mind had slowed down, but was still going faster than he could run. Except now, instead of hopeful day dreams of finally seeing Maka again, it was filled with dejected thoughts of how Maka didn't care about him, and how it didn't even matter because he was never going to see her again anyway.
He never should have gotten his hopes up that high. There was no point in hoping to ever her again, so why was he still thinking of it? Dreaming it. Wishing it.
He let his mind wander although it stayed on the same track as always.
When he finally pulled himself back to reality, he realised he was about five blocks past the bar.
He didn't turn around.
He just kept walking, kept letting his mind linger on thoughts of Maka, kept feeling more and more hopeless with each step he took.
An hour had passed, maybe more; he lacked the ability to tell how long it really was and the ability to care at all. Maybe going back to the bar would help clear his head? Maybe going over to Star and Tsubaki's place would be best. Maybe talking with Tsubaki and letting her use her power to draw out all feelings and true emotions was a good idea, after all.
He started walking that way when he remembered that she was busy watching her friend's kid, and the last thing he needed in his current state was to have some ankle-biter bothering him.
No, he would just keep walking and thinking. Mulling over everything.
He walked for another hour or more and stopped by some stupid hipster coffee shop and ordered a "special order" of black coffee. Because everything with added flavour was normal, but just straight from the pot was out of the ordinary.
He sat at a table and looked up at a clock on the wall that read 6:15.
Shit, Star is going to kill me, he thought as he did nothing to head towards the bar. He just sat there drinking coffee and listening to the Mumford and Sons playing overhead.
After a few minutes he decided he should probably head over to the bar so Star wouldn't kill him-and so he wouldn't have to sit through the shitty poetry reading that had just then started taking place.
The tiring trek to the bar and having to face Star after being so incredibly late, was not desirable. "What would another day without going to play some pool do?" he voiced his thoughts aloud, kicking some dirt around under his shoes as he lazily made his way down the street, no true destination in mind. "Then again, Star is going to beat me to a bloody pulp if I don't get down there. But I almost don't care enough. Maybe getting beat up would actually knock some sense into me." He froze in place, actually stopping to think this all the way through. "Then again, Star is already mad enough. I don't need him to be any more up in my case than he already is." A long sigh escaped from his lungs, and he started trudging in the direction of the bar.
He arrived at about 6:40, preparing himself for the pummelling he was going to get from Star. He walked over to find Star playing a game of pool against Patti.
Perfect. That meant he would be too caught up in the game to get too mad and beat him up for being so late.
Either that, or he would use the pool cue as a weapon.
He stood a safe distance away from Star, trying to blend in with the crowd, holding onto the very small sliver of hope that maybe he didn't notice his tardiness.
After Star missed his shot, he turned around immediately noticing Soul and greeting him with a swift punch to the stomach.
It would have been worse, had Soul not expected it and flexed his abs in anticipation. But it still hurt like hell.
"Fucking hell, Star. Could you have at least held back some of your power?" Soul asked weakly as he clutched his stomach.
"No, dumbass," He sounded pissed as he could ever be, which was very out of the ordinary and actually quite daunting. "Tsubaki's got something for ya. You better get over there soon, or else she'll be mad at you. And trust me, you don't want to deal with that." Soul just gave him a confused look in response. "Just go, you idiot." Star told him as he turned back to his game of pool without another word.
Soul was completely unhinged by the sudden anger and random demand. He figured he had pissed Star off enough, so he might as well do what he said. He wandered out the door and towards Star and Tsu's place, ignoring the few guys asking him where he was headed on such short notice.
The sun had set and it was just starting to grow dark, as he made his way down the street. He was taking a shortcut that involved a lot of turns, and different streets and a few alleyways, and after about five minutes he finally arrived outside their apartment building. He walked up to their apartment on the second floor, and knocked on the door. He started to imagine what an angry Tsubaki would be like. Star was bad enough, he didn't want to know what the usually calm and collected Tsubaki would be like if she ever got pissed off.
"Door's open, come on in!" the sweet and happy voice of Tsubaki called out to him.
Soul opened the door and stepped in. "Hey, Tsu, Star said you had something for-" He stopped mid sentence and his heart dropped to his stomach.
On the couch next to Tsubaki sat a blonde girl staring up at him with green eyes wide with disbelief. Those green eyes that Soul had thought of, pictured, and dreamed of countless times were now looking at him. Those green eyes he thought he would never see again. Those green eyes he fell in love with a year ago were in front of him.
"Maka?" he said in sheer disbelief.
"Soul." Maka voiced the same disbelief only to a lesser extent.
Soul remained frozen in the open doorway staring at her. His mind felt completely blank yet at the same time flooded with a thousand thoughts of Maka. He couldn't believe his eyes, yet he did not dare blink for fear that, if he did, she would disappear.
It felt like a dream. Like at any second, without any warning, he would wake up and she would be gone. It didn't feel real. He wanted to take her in his arms and never let go, but a small part of him also wanted to pull himself away and not get his hopes up again in case this was a dream after all.
He was finally snapped back to reality by the sound of crying in another room.
Both Tsubaki and Maka stood up with a start looking towards the source of the sound.
"Maka, you stay here. I'll take care of it." Tsubaki placed a calming hand on her friend's arm, and then turned to go towards the room, giving Soul a smile and expression saying, "Go on!" before disappearing into the next room.
Soul just barely remembered to shut the door behind him as he stepped toward Maka. He reached his hand out to her and she shied away from it.
"Maka, I can't believe you're here."
"Yeah, neither can I." she said simply, taking her seat back on the couch.
Soul sat down where Tsubaki had been the moment before. He looked up at Maka, still afraid she might disappear at any second.
He opened his mouth to say something but Maka cut him off.
"Listen Soul," Her words sounded hurt, maybe? Whatever it was, Soul could tell this did not lead to good things. "To tell the truth, I came to Death City to see you." Soul's heart fluttered at this, like it sprouted wings and was now flying around in his chest. "But," his heart dropped to his stomach. "I went to the bar, and I stood outside and I couldn't go in. I came back here and Blake made me go back to the bar again with him telling me that you needed to see me." She was wringing her hands together, staring at the coffee table in front of her. "But when you didn't show up I realised that it would just be better if you didn't know I was here at all, so you could just carry on with life as normal. I was actually planning on leaving and was just saying goodbye to Tsubaki when you walked in. I've thought about you a lot in the past year, and I just don't know how it will work. It just can't work. I don't know, I'm sorry, Soul." She looked up at him after avoiding eye contact the whole time she spoke. Her green eyes shined with the ghosts of tears.
Soul didn't know what to say. He sat there in shock, staring at the coffee table, fighting to find the words that could maybe convince her to stay. But he knew deep down, nothing would change her mind. "I-" his voice faltered. He looked up at Maka, staring into her teary green eyes. "Maka, I've missed you so much. I can't just carry on with normal life. Maka, I've been lost this whole year, having known you for only a small amount of time. I wish you would've stayed." Soul grabbed her hand that laid limp on her leg. "That morning when I woke up and you weren't there, I was heartbroken. It killed me Maka, not seeing you in bed next to me. I've been so out of it for this past year without you. I know I only knew you for a matter of hours, but Maka, I fell in love with you from the very moment I saw you. I just-"
"Stop it right there." Maka spoke through a sob. Pulling her hand out of his grasp. She looked away from him, now her turn to not know the words to say.
"Maka, I love-"
"I said stop it." She held up a hand to emphasise her point. "Please don't. Don't tell me you love me, because it just won't work out. Please, just… don't." She whispered weakly.
Soul looked away, heaving a big shaky sigh.
They sat in dreaded silence for what seemed like hours.
"Hey Maka!" Tsubaki called from the other room.
Maka breathed in deeply. "Yeah, Tsu?"
"Could you come in here? She wants you."
Maka stood up and walked into the other room without looking back, leaving Soul alone still frozen and pondering.
He sat in silence still trying to let all of what she said sink in, trying his hardest to fight back some tears that threatened to make an appearance.
He heard soft whispers from the other room. He couldn't make out much, but he heard his name a few times. There was one thing that he heard as clear as day. Tsubaki had told Maka "You need to let Soul see her."
A short moment later Maka walked out with holding a bundle of blankets. Tsubaki stood behind her, watching with a smile on her face.
Maka walked up to Soul and he saw that instead of a bundle, there was a small baby wrapped up in one blanket. She was precious. She had beautiful blonde hair, and gorgeous green eyes the same shade as Maka's.
"Maka, is that…?"
She nodded. "Soul, this is Bella. I figured, since you're here, you should get to meet her."
Soul looked at the little girl's face. She was beautiful. Although she didn't look like Maka. She had the same colouring as her, but her features looked more like… his.
"Maka is she-"
"Don't say it." she held up her hand to shush him but quickly retracted it. "But yes, she is."
"Can I hold her?" He asked quietly.
Maka paused, looked at the baby and back at Tsubaki. Tsubaki gave her a small nod and Maka turned back to Soul. "Okay, but watch the head." she said as she passed the baby from her arms to his.
Soul looked at the baby as he was filled with warmth and pure bliss. He was holding his daughter. His daughter he didn't know he had. Never thought he would have. She was beautiful, like her mother. She may have had Soul's features, but she had Maka's beauty.
She looked up at him and gave him a contagious smile. "Hi, Bella." He said down to her softly. She smiled even bigger, making Soul's heart melt.
There in his arms, that bundle of joy, was his daughter. He couldn't believe it.
Maka reached forward to take her from him. He didn't want to stop holding her, but he gave her over to Maka anyway. "We really need to get out of here, though." She said. "Got a, um, ahem, plane to catch." She turned around and said goodbye to Tsubaki, giving her a hug. She looked up at Soul for a long moment. She cleared her throat saying, "Well goodbye, Soul."
She walked past him towards the exit.
Soul heard her open the front door and he called out, "Hey Maka," his voice a few scales higher than normal. He looked back to see her looking at him with anticipation. He cleared his throat "Even if I never end up seeing either of you again, I want you to promise me two things. First, that she knows about me. And she knows the truth about me. Don't do what normal single mothers do and make up some bullshit story."
"I won't, don't worry. And what's the second?"
"Promise me that you'll teach her to be able to kick my ass in pool."
Maka gave him a soft smile. "Okay, Soul, I will. Goodbye." She turned around and walked out the door.
Soul heaved a sigh. He couldn't quite figure out how exactly he should feel. He couldn't quite figure out how he was currently feeling. He couldn't quite figure out if he was feeling anything at all. Should he have been sad that she - they left? Should he feel happy that he got to see Maka again and meet his daughter that he would have never known he had? Should he feel a little bit of both? Should he go after them and try to convince her of staying or letting him go with her? Should he just listen to her and let her leave with just that farewell? Was that sufficient? Was he content with just letting her leave like that?
"You okay, Soul?" Tsubaki's voice sounded so distant, despite the fact that she was only a few feet away from him. He could barely tell if she had actually said something or if he imagined it.
He may have heard Tsubaki call after him as he turned the door handle and walked out without a word. He felt so out of it, not quite aware of what was happening around him, not fully sure of what was going through his head.
He journeyed through the streets, his shoulders feeling lighter than they had in a long time. He walked aimlessly, not quite sure where he was headed, no destination in mind, not even caring about where he would end up. His mind wanted to go home and get some sleep and pretend that all of this was a terrible dream. His heart wanted go to the airport to chase down Maka and stop her from leaving. His feet took him down a path they seemed to have memorised. Not too long after he left Tsubaki's place, he found himself standing outside the bar.
He walked inside to find Star shooting some pool by himself, the rest of the place deserted.
"Soul, what are you doing here? Did you talk to Tsubaki?" Star asked as he made his way over to the table.
Soul grabbed a pool cue off the rack, ignoring Star's question. He looked him straight in the eye, his head still not clear, he said, "Gather up the balls. We're playing a game of pool."
"What? Dude, did you talk to Tsu?" Star pronounced each word pointedly, almost threatening.
"Yeah I did. So we gonna play some pool?" Soul didn't care for remembering that whole scene back at Star and Tsu's apartment. He figured he would end up reliving that whole conversation with Maka, that whole evening, from walking through the door, to holding his daughter, to that exact moment when he felt his whole being fall to pieces when she left. He figured he would end up playing it all through his head over and over every day for who knew how long? He just wanted to not think about it at all, and play some pool.
He set the wooden triangle on the table and gathered all the solids and stripes into the frame, completely ignoring Star's protests and pestering.
Finally Star grabbed Soul by the shoulders and turned him around shaking him back and forth, "Soul Evans, did you see her?"
Soul cringed at the sound of his last name being used, he remained silent as Star searched his face for any sign of emotion. Soul stayed with a blank expression, not quite feeling any emotion to show. His mind finally cleared, being pressured underneath Star's piercing gaze.
"Yes, I saw her. I saw them both. I saw them and they… they..." He trailed off, feeling his eyes begin to sting.
Star let go of him when he started to blink rapidly, fighting off potential tears. Soul hung his head, analysing the detail and lacing on the cowboy boots he was wearing.
Star gave him a pat on the shoulder, "Soul, why the hell aren't you going after her?"
"Drop it, Star. Now are we going to play some goddamn pool or not?" His mouth snapped shut once it processed in his mind that he had shouted. He turned away from Star to face the table, leaning his elbows on the edge and rested his head on his arms. He felt his breath begin to shake and his eyes and nose stung with the threat of an oncoming sob.
Star placed a comforting hand on Soul's shoulder, "Hey," was all he said, but it managed to give an infinite amount of unspoken comfort.
Soul stood up, and took a deep breath until he was sure it would come out without shaking.
"You two sure know how to make a pretty adorable baby." Star said half jokingly.
"Apparently so."
"Soul, tell me something. What was your first thought when you saw Maka with the baby?"
"I was surprised."
"Surprised and what?" Star urged on.
"Surprised and… I don't know, Star."
"Alright, how about this; What was your first thought when you saw Maka."
"I couldn't believe my eyes."
"Give me more than that. What did you think? How did you feel?"
Soul smiled to himself as he kicked his feet around and began pacing back and forth. His mind went back and played over that moment when he saw her sitting there on the couch. Once he opened his mouth to talk, he couldn't stop his rambles. "I couldn't believe it. She was there. I was finally seeing her again after so long. It felt too good to be true. I felt hopeful. Hopeful that she could finally be mine, and I could finally be happy instead of living in this state of pure sadness and misery. I saw her and thought that I had my chance to tell her how I felt, and how much I missed her, and how much I wanted her to stay with me and never leave my side. I saw her and remembered how much I lov-" Soul trailed off, his brain suddenly catching up to his mouth, as he realised how stupid he must have sounded.
The quiet that came next didn't last long. Star quickly tried to lighten the mood and break a potential awkward silence, "Oh, your phone fell out of your pocket as you left earlier. I went ahead and charged for ya." Star nodded over to the wall. "I think you got a message of some sort. You should probably check it."
Soul followed Star's instructions with a shrug, confused at the abrupt subject change, and unplugged the phone from the charger. He turned it on and the message popped up immediately. It was an email from…
"What?" Soul's mouth moved before he could even process the word that came from it.
His finger fumbled, suddenly losing all coordination, trying to open the email. Once he finally got his fingers settled down and working, he read the email making sure to process every single sentence, word, letter, and punctuation mark.
"Dear Soul,
I asked Tsubaki for your email, because I realised, once I boarded the plane, that I had a few things I still needed to say to you. I don't know why I couldn't say them to your face. Maybe because I couldn't think straight, maybe because I didn't think to say it, maybe because I was too afraid. But anyway, here it goes:
Soul, first and foremost, I'm sorry. I am so terribly, incredibly sorry. I left you without any real explanation, without telling you the real reason I don't think it can work. Apparently I'm good at that; leaving without a word. The truth is, my mother and father got married because my mother got pregnant with me. I thought they had a great marriage, but Papa was horrible and still flirted with so many other women and after a while, Mama got tired of it, and she left him and me. I couldn't go through that again. And when I woke up the morning after you and I met, I couldn't help but fear that something like that would happen to us. It broke my heart as well, leaving without a word. Leaving before you even woke up. It killed me too.
At first I didn't know why it hurt so much; me leaving. But then after a while, I realised the exact reason. It was because I fell in love with you. Soul, I love you, I really do, but I can't help but think that it just won't work out. I understand that you and I are not the same as my parents, but I don't know if I can go through that again, and if we try, I'll just be living in fear of you betraying me like my Papa did.
But, I have decided, Bella and I will come and visit you every now and then. So you'll get to see her every once in a while, and you'll get to see her grow up. And who knows? Maybe, just maybe, we might be able to figure out a way to make "us" work out. Maybe.
That's all I really needed to say. And I guess we could even correspond through email and such, if you really want to, that is. I just don't know if I'm quite ready for the whole "us" thing, just yet.
I'll see you sometime in the next few months. I promised Blake and Tsubaki I'd be in town for their birthdays, so you'll definitely see me then.
Goodbye, Soul.
P.S. Bella was born three months ago, December 13th, at 5:12pm. You know, just in case you wanted to know her birthday."
Soul leaned back and slid down the wall, sitting down on the floor, a happy smile, although subtle, had crept onto his face.
Star came over and bent down to look him in the eye, "You still up for that game of pool you challenged me to?"
Soul let a full grin take over his face, "Let's see you fall back into your rightful place as second best." Star let out a big mocking laugh and held his hand out to help Soul stand up.
Soul stepped up to make the opening break shot of the game. He aimed the cue ball toward the perfect triangle of colour. The numbered spheres went scattering across the table. The bright red eleven and the darker red fifteen fell into the side and corner pocket. He stepped up to take his next shot, and within one turn, managed to sink all but two stripes.