Right And Wrong Way

by BellaDameNoir

AU: City Magazine has a new feature article "Right And Wrong Way - Dating in the City"; it's a he said/she said commentary. The two writers picked for the project are Fitz and Olivia. See how they navigate their professional relationship while trying to prevent personal feelings from spilling over and threatening their success.

5. Dating Rule: Give Her Butterflies

Dating Rule: Give Her Butterflies

She wasn't playing fair. It was a dangerous game but when Olivia considered the pleasure she would derive from it, she couldn't quite seem to wipe the mischievous look off of her face. Undeniably, no one would describe her as audacious or intrepid, but it didn't matter because she certainly felt that way tonight. She would look great. Every woman should have at least one 'freakum' dress – the dress you pull out when you wanted to feel absolutely, unreservedly sexy; the one you were sure would turn every male head in sight and illicit drooling compliments the entire night. Olivia went to the back of her closet and retrieved the one dress she knew would be perfect for the event. It was the dress she had in mind to wear as soon as she agreed to attend the movie premier.

It was a silver, sequin mini dress, with bell sleeves and a wide open back. It accented all the right female body parts - her lovely legs, her curvy ass, her creamy, smooth back and a cinched belt to emphasize her tiny waist. She had her stylist pull her hair up on the top of her head in a bun. And her finishing touch were the 5 ½ heels that made her legs seem to go on for days. When Olivia looked the final product in the mirror she was impressed. She couldn't help but feel butterflies in her stomach anxiously waiting for the look on his face when he saw her. It would be worth the time and effort she put into making sure she looked flawless.

Olivia had the tendency to talk herself out of what she wanted, confining herself to the self-imposed ascetic lifestyle of a perfectionist. Denial, doubt, disappointment – her constant bedfellows and most likely the reason she was still alone. But she wanted him; she wanted Fitz' heart. Over the past week, since Quinn's birthday party, she tried to dismiss her feelings; allowing Jake to dote on her with frequent phone conversations and repeated date requests. She put him off claiming that she was too busy with work. She wanted to like Jake; he seemed like a nice guy – attractive, successful and attentive to her – but every time she tried to open the door, Fitz' face would appear in her mind's eye. And she wondered if a relationship with Jake would always be, in her opinion, second best.

She was more excited about this event then she let on. Eager to be with him at a social occasion, where they weren't burdened with a heavy workload or constantly trying to brainstorm on new and exciting ideas to please their boss. They could just relax and enjoy each other's company. She knew that it was highly possible that Fitz only wanted to be friends with her and she repeatedly told herself that she could be content being confined to the 'friend-zone', although it was becoming less and less likely.

"Are you the Devil?" Fitz asked as he got a good look at her dress. His brother, Tommy, accompanied him into Olivia's home, anxious to meet this woman that Fitz constantly talked about. Tommy now understood his brother's fascination with Olivia; she was gorgeous. Tommy couldn't help but laugh at his brother's reaction; he was actually thinking the same thing.

"You're staring at me," Olivia said smiling as she purposely kept looking out the car window, instead of at him. She, Fitz and Tommy sat in the back of the limo on the way to the after party. Tommy was on the phone the entire time but Olivia tuned out his conversation. She underestimated the affect of her dress, his dapper looks and a dark movie theater would have on her. She uncontrollably aroused. She couldn't recall what the movie was about and barely remembered his brother in the film. She hoped he wouldn't ask her about it.

Now sitting across from him, under his penetrating gaze, she was unnerved. She couldn't look at him for fear the obvious attraction she felt would be blaringly evident. This was an unfamiliar path for her; the desire for him was different from anything she ever felt before. She never wanted a man like she wanted him; it was exciting and fearful. He gave her butterflies.

"Wasn't that the purpose of the dress?" he said chuckling.

"Possibly," she shrugged and continued smiling; still refusing to look his way.

Olivia never felt so beautiful as when she was in his presence. He had the ability to make her feel amazing just by one look. With him, she never lacked confidence or felt insecure. And his flattering comments didn't leave her feeling cheap or put upon; it was always what she needed to brighten her day and make her lift her head just a little bit higher. She had lost that feeling for a while and unbeknownst to him, he was helping her regain it.

Fitz couldn't keep his eyes off of her. She mesmerized him. It seemed like his brother suffered from the same affliction because, earlier, on the way to the screening he bluntly asked, "You sure there's nothing going on between you two…..because if not, maybe you'll let me take you out Liv. I'll be in town for the next week and I'm free next Friday, maybe we could have a little dinner, go back to my place…." He gave her a smile that mirrored Fitz' but it was not as warm or as genuine.

Olivia laughed out loud. "Oh my god, does that line really work on women? Do they fall for that? You've got to be kidding me….." she reached over and patted his knee like a little child being chastised. "Thank you Tommy but no thank you….I am not interested in being just another girl you've screwed around with. You're cute…but not that cute."

Fitz laughed at the put down and Tommy feigned offense at the statement, "I can't believe she called me cute. I don't think any woman has ever put me down like that." He had to laugh himself. "I like you Liv, I really do."

All through-out the film screening, and now on the way to the after party, Fitz couldn't stop staring at her legs. He knew he seriously could not hold an intelligent conversation with anyone about what his brother said or did in the film. Her legs were amazing - caramel, bronze skin that appeared so soft and in desperate need of his touch. His hands itched to touch her and he almost felt like he needed to sit on them just to maintain self-control. Her dress hiked up even further when she sat down, exposing almost her entire thigh and he just wanted one time to caress her leg and maybe allow his hand to travel farther up….Dammit.

Olivia's gasp turned his attention. She observed the sea of people standing behind the iron barricades, screaming for celebrities as they exited vehicles. It was just as large as the group that gathered for the premier. But this time they would have to successfully navigate their way through the crowd instead of going around to an entrance where they wouldn't be observed. Their driver was just pulling up and about to let them out. She turned to look at Fitz, "I didn't expect all this…"

Fitz forced his attention to look out the window and smiled, "This is pretty tame considering the film…It can get a lot crazier than this actually." He looked back at her, "Don't worry beautiful, you'll be fine."

Although she always worked in Los Angeles, she tended to stay away from any media attention; she loved her privacy and didn't prefer the limelight of fame and recognition. So, even when she was invited, she never attended events like these, unless they were related solely to the magazine she worked for.

When he asked her to go to his brother's premier she mistakenly believed that they would be watching his film and showing their support through applause and random comments with other audience members. After all, his brother didn't have a starring role. He was part of the supporting cast. However, what made him different was the 'Grant' name. Thomas Grant was in a film published by his family's company MGM and that connection propelled him front and center. Now they wanted him for pictures and interviews along with the rest of the cast.

The car pulled up and Olivia could already hear the cameras flashing and the noise of reporters and photographers. "Showtime…" Tommy said as he jumped out the vehicle first and waived to the crowd who shouted his name in return. He then turned around and assisted Olivia out of the vehicle and she was closely followed by Fitz. Tommy continued to walk through the crowd stopping for photo ops and addressing random questions. His publicist appeared and guided him through people vying for his attention.

Fitz kept his arm protectively around Olivia's waist as they followed behind Tommy at a safe distance, careful enough not to get in anyone's way or get caught in a picture.

Fitz could feel her tensing up in his arms and leaned down to kiss her cheek, he whispered, "We're almost done." She smiled up at him in return.

Suddenly a microphone was thrust in his face. "Aren't you Tommy's brother, Fitzgerald Grant? You're a writer at City Magazine right?" the reporter asked.

Fitz quickly recovered. His family background had forced him to become accustomed to unwelcome publicity. "Yes I am and I do." When Olivia tried to step away to allow him to be interviewed alone, he tightened his grip on her waist. She stayed next to him and smiled, hoping that she wouldn't get caught in the photos.

"So what did you think of the movie?"

"It was great. I'm very proud of my brother. He is a great actor; a great person."

"And this beautiful lady with you, who is she?"

Fitz looked down at her adoringly then turned and addressed the reporter. "This is Olivia Pope."

The reporter's eyes lit up in recognition. "Ms. Pope you're also a writer for City Magazine…in fact don't you two write the dating article Right and Wrong Way."

Olivia smiled, encouraged that someone recognized their work. "Yes we do," she answered.

"Your article is hot; we are all big fans of it…So tell me are you two an actual couple because you look great together."

Fitz and Olivia looked at each other and laughed. Olivia spoke up, "No we are just good friends."

"Well let's get some shots of you two," the reporter stepped back and instructed her photographer to take some photos. Fitz and Olivia posed for the cameras and before long other photographers were coming over and directing them to pose for more shots. Fitz would point Olivia in the direction of the photographer calling out for their picture and as if on cue she would lean into him and pose. She was a natural. Olivia should have been nervous from all the attention but with Fitz as her support and anchor, she basked in the limelight.

XXXXXX

"Here, it looks like you need this," Fitz said as he handed her a drink at the open bar.

Olivia thankfully accepted it. "Yes, I do. Thanks." She downed the shot of Patron quickly and grimaced at the strong taste.

"Whoa, slow down. I meant for you to sip it to calm your nerves," Fitz said as he chuckled at her eagerness to take the edge off.

She gave him a sheepish grin. "Can I get another please?"

"Here take mine," he said and gave her his drink.

"Hey, I'm sorry you have to stick to my side all night…I know this is your family's business so please go socialize. I'm fine right here," Olivia said suddenly realizing that she was monopolizing his time all evening. She felt bad, thinking that she was holding him back from really enjoying himself. Every now and again, a photographer would appear and take a photo of them together and she considered that it might not be such a good idea for him only to be seen with her the entire night.

He laughed. "Are you kidding? I am not leaving your side…Have you seen you in this dress? And all the men ogling you this evening. I'll be happy to get out of here without getting into a fight with someone over you….Besides, I'm standing next to sexiest woman in the room, where else would I want to be?"

"Be careful, Mr. Grant, flattery will get you everywhere," she teased. Where did that come from Olivia? Are you flirting with him?

"I'm hoping so Ms. Pope….believe me, I'm hoping so," he said as he looked intently at her.

He could make her blush at almost anything he said. The sexual tension was getting thick and she didn't know if it was just her or if she was misreading the signs. Was he just making light of the situation or was he really sexually attracted to her? She couldn't believe that the writer, and so-called expert, on dating couldn't tell whether a man really wanted her or not. She would be the first to admit that when it came to her own heart, all the expertise flew out the window. She wasn't sure and honestly, she was a bit afraid to find out. It was best to change the subject.

"So why don't you like this kind of thing; I mean it's what your family does…it's who you are…I would have thought you would have been more involved in the business."

He thought reflectively and said, "I'll show you…see that guy over there talking to that girl?"

Olivia followed his line of sight and saw a young girl, dressed seductively – all tits and ass, she thought - and allowing an old gray haired man whisper in her ear. Normally, she knew the girl would not have been attracted to the man but she was allowing him to openly flirt with her, a prelude to something that was sure to follow after.

"Yeah, so what?"

"Well, he's promising her that she could be a star and the only condition is that she needs to let him take her home and sleep with him."

"Fitz I've lived in LA all my life, I know what goes on behind the scenes. That kind of thing happens all the time. But it doesn't have to happen if she doesn't let it. She's making a choice…..It's just the way life goes."

"Yes but that's just it…It's an industry that condones that and even encourages taking advantage of young men and women looking for their chance at fame and stardom. More and more, it's not about talent; it's about who you can sleep with and sell your soul to. Every day, countless number of people get off a bus, innocently coming from some town in the mid-west, searching for the opportunity to be in the spotlight and thinking that they can get it if they come to LA. The number of people who end up prostituting themselves, homeless, or strung out on drugs just because they came to LA on a pipe dream is too much. This industry has become horrible. It has become a method for lecherous old men and women to take advantage of vulnerable people."

She couldn't take her eyes away from him, pleasantly surprised to hear him speak with such conviction.

"What?"

"Nothing…I've just never heard you speak so passionately about anything…So you're not just a rich boy with a pretty face," she joked.

"Um, no….that would be my brother Tommy," Fitz said smiling.

"But really Fitz, the industry isn't all bad. It serves a purpose; it entertains the world. It creates a fantasy for people to believe in; its escapism. And people need it these days. Besides, there is some good that come out of it in the form of charities and scholarships."

"That's true, but when you are so close to it like my family is, it's hard to see the good when it's easily drowned out by all the bad….I've just seen some things…things I shouldn't have; that no one should have seen…..and I just don't like it," he didn't finish his thought but Olivia could tell that he was quietly reliving an unpleasant memory that saddened him. She instinctively touched his hand as a show of comfort.

"I believe you…and I've reconsidered my career as an actress," she joked to lighten his mood. Now he was smiling again.

"I'm glad because I'm not letting you go."

"Well," she started as she stood up from the high chair and adjusted her dress, "you'll have to let me go momentarily while I go to the ladies room." She laughed as she walked away.

He watched her walk away; awestruck by the sway of her hips and the lovely legs that carried her across the room. He loved watching her backside and in that dress with the open back that exposed her soft caramel skin, he literally could not keep his hands off of her. Days ago, he had resolved to get over his infatuation, viewing the attraction as unprofessional. Now he couldn't resist her and was willing to risk everything to be with her.

"Fitzgerald Grant, isn't it?"

Fitz turned to find a man extending his hand in greeting. Fitz took it and asked, "Yes and you are?"

"Edison, Edison Davis…I thought that was you. I spotted you from across the room. We have never formally met but I know your family of course and your brother's work was just great in the movie. My wife and I were just over there congratulating your brother."

"Nice to meet you and thanks….Not to be rude but who are you?" Fitz said more bluntly than he normally spoke to people but something about the man gave him a weird feeling; like he should put himself on guard.

Edison laughed. "Oh I'm sorry…I'm nobody, just another LA plastic surgeon but my wife, Amber is a model…she was an extra in the movie, an aspiring actress of sorts. You should really meet her. She's making her rounds now but she will be over pretty soon."

Fitz didn't return the smile, he just looked at Edison, still trying to figure out why he was speaking to him.

Edison continued, "Anyway…I saw you talking to an old friend of mine and I couldn't leave without saying hello to her."

Fitz opened his mouth to speak but just then Olivia walked up and said, "Hello Edison, what are you doing here?"

Fitz observed the exchange and could easily tell Olivia did not like Edison, in fact the fire in her eyes bordered on hatred. Everything about her body language indicated that she was on defense and Fitz' protective instincts kicked in. He moved closer to Olivia until their arms were touching.

"Hello Olivia, it's been a long time. It's good to see you. You look amazing in that dress. I've really missed you." The lecherous look he gave her was enough to make her skin crawl. It was like she as naked; openly exposed to his judgment and ridicule. She couldn't believe that once upon a time she thought herself to be in love with him. Now, she could barely stomach the sight of him.

Fitz placed his hand on her back. And his touch was like magic; it instantly calmed her. She looked at him, thankful to have him by her side. She smiled sweetly to him and said, "Fitz, I'm ready to go now, thank you." Fitz nodded his head and they both walked away without another word to Edison.

XXXXXX

She hadn't said two words since they got into the car. She just sat in the corner with her face turned toward the window, gazing out into the night. Fitz had an overpowering need to take care of her; he wanted to gather her into his arms and bring her comfort but he knew it wasn't his place and she might just reject him. There was unmistakable pain in her eyes; a deep pain caused by years of unresolved anguish, regret and sorrow. Whoever this guy was, he hurt her so deeply that the mere sight of him sent her retreating into a shell. She was putting up a wall to defend herself, from what he did not know but he hoped she would trust him enough to let him in.

When the car pulled up at her home, she thanked Fitz for the evening and moved closer to the door, about to exit the vehicle but he stopped her. "Liv I can't leave you like this…I'll send the car back to the party for my brother…I'm coming in with you."

His kindness made her want to unleash the flow of tears that she had been holding in the entire night. She had barely been able to hold herself together. She refused to let Edison see her weak; she would not give him the satisfaction of allowing him to see the effect he had on her. But now while she was alone with Fitz, she could feel the weight of it all crashing against her. The memories she had repressed were flooding back and she tried to stamp them back down before they took over. She couldn't continue to maintain the façade of strength. She didn't like being like this - feeling sorry for herself, emotionally spent and susceptible to crippling thoughts. She definitely didn't want Fitz to see her like this; she needed to be alone. She shook her head, "No Fitz, I'll be okay. I just need to rest." She never met his eyes but kept her gaze downcast.

He took her chin in his hand and gently raised her face. He needed to look in her eyes. "Liv, I'm staying," and as one lone tear fell, she nodded in agreement, secretly thankful for his company and the comfort that she knew he could give.

XXXXXX

"Tell me about the first time you fell in love?" Olivia asked as she reached for her wine glass and settled back on the couch next to Fitz. Olivia had asked Fitz to wait until she changed into more comfortable clothing. She needed the time, not only to change but to gather herself together. She didn't want to be crying all over him all night. She wanted to be able to have an intelligent conversation with him, without all the angst that could come along with it. When she finally emerged, her emotions had calmed down and she could now detach herself from the past that he no doubt would ask about. She felt like she could speak about it as if it happened to someone else; like it didn't touch her at all.

It was 1AM and they had to be at work within the next 7 hours but neither was willing to end the evening. They were content to sit in each other's company, talking about anything and everything; they needed to know each other on a deeper level. It wasn't about their working relationship anymore it was about them as people – who they were at their core; what they were deep inside. What did they like, dislike; what made them happy, sad; their search for love in the past and how they wanted to find it in the future.

"I can answer that question for you if you explain to me what love looks like…what does it feel like?" he asked honestly.

She tilted her head to the side in confusion. She didn't know if he was joking or being completely honest. "Don't tell me you have never been in or thought you were in love."

He shrugged. "I have been in relationships with women. I've cared about them. I've done what I could to make them happy and I enjoyed being in their company, but I've never had a feeling that I couldn't live without someone. When the relationships were over….they were just over….I've never missed anyone…I've never felt like I wanted any of them back," he saw the look on her face and wanted to explain himself, "I'm not saying I used women. I don't do that. When I'm in a relationship with someone…I'm in that relationship…I'm just saying I've never met a woman that made me miss her when she was away or wanted to talk to her all the time or just look at her. I haven't seen that…I don't even know if it exists."

She now understood his cold relationship with Mellie; there was no love between them, at least not on his part. What struck her was his jaded view of finding love in the future. "You think it doesn't."

"I don't know. Maybe it's unreasonable to think that your whole life can be wrapped up in another person. Maybe we are just meant to find moments of happiness wherever we can find it and looking for that one person that can give it to you all the time is unrealistic."

"Mmmmm," was all she said as she continued staring at him.

"What? What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that you're full of shit," she said and she smiled at him.

He laughed. "I can't believe you just took a heartfelt moment where I spilled my guts out to you and turned it into an insult….That hurts Liv, it really does," he put his hand to his heart pretending to be mortally wounded.

"Fitz you write for a dating column, trying to help people find love and happiness everyday and you're trying to give me this cynical speech about not knowing if it exists or not….Please…you know what love is or at the very least you know what it is not. You know that you haven't found it yet and you're looking for it. Maybe not actively looking but you're searching."

He smiled back at her. He was searching for it. He thought back to the night of Quinn's party and the intense jealousy he felt at seeing her with Jake and the anger he felt when Mellie interrupted them. He knew Jake was trying to date her and realized that if he didn't do something about it quickly he could lose her. He ended it with Mellie that night; the memory of the horrible break up fight almost made him cringe but he brought his thoughts back to the present…to Olivia.

"Alright then you tell me, when were you in love, was it with that guy Edison?"

She instantly sobered. The smile dropped from her face and her eyes watered. He wanted to kick himself for asking about it. Maybe it was too soon for her to talk about it. Maybe she didn't want to talk about it with him at all.

"Yes, I thought I was," she whispered.

He remained quiet, willing to wait for however long she needed. He really wanted to know what happened that made her so sad.

"He was my first. We grew up in the same neighborhood and everyone just knew we were made for each other. His parents loved me and my father loved him. Even my aunt liked him and if you ever met my aunt you would know that means something," she smiled.

"We dated during high school, prom, graduation – everything. We went to different colleges but we still dated. He would visit me; I would visit him. We were never apart for very long. I knew that one day we would get married. We had talked about it when we were little but never seriously and definitely not while we were adults. We both were career-driven and knew we would not settle down until we had established ourselves. But I just knew that one day he would ask me. And he did. It was 3 years ago, he bought a ring, got down on one knee, all that. I instantly said yes. He was really all I knew. It was like I didn't really know my life apart from him. You know what I mean? You're with someone for so long that it becomes just a matter of fact that you will stay together.

"Anyway, we moved in together; started trying to plan our lives. We had a road map; in this many years we would buy our first house; in this many years we would have our first child; then wait this many years and have another and on and on and on. I was fine with it all. Was I deliriously happy? No. But, I was content and I knew we could have a good life together. Then one night I had to work late and when I got home I could tell something was off; the apartment felt different, smelled different. I didn't know what it was. Then I heard the noises coming from my bedroom. I heard him and her. I went in and saw him with another woman in my bed; our bed. I don't remember but I must have gasped or made some type of noise because they looked over at me. She at least had the decency to look embarrassed but he….he just laughed. She tried to move off the bed but he wouldn't let her. He just kept staring at me as if it was something I should have accepted or been used to. I turned around and left. I didn't cry…I didn't get upset. I just picked up my purse and left." Amazingly, she was able to recall the event as if it didn't happen to her; she was disconnected from it, at least momentarily.

"The next day I came back when I knew he was at work. I got all my things from the apartment and moved out. At first I didn't tell anyone why I had called off the engagement. I didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted it to all go away and be over. But one day, he came to my father's house, trying to talk to me. It caught me off guard but I was expecting him to beg my forgiveness, something like that but he didn't. As it turns out, him cheating was all my fault. I had become unaffectionate, unloving and just cold. He said he didn't know if I had it in me to love a man the way he should be loved because I was too distant and reserved. It wasn't his fault; he had tried to love me all these years but he now knew the love of a real woman and it felt good to be with someone like her. He told me that I needed to change or I would end up alone. But he was willing to give me a second chance if I could prove to him that I could be more…loving. It was laughable. Of course, I refused to see him again but it affected me more than I cared to admit it at the time."

"Liv you have to know that he was an asshole."

"Agreed. But when you've been with someone most of your life, their opinion of you matters. If he was the only person I had ever been with and he thought all those things about me then maybe it was true, at least partly. Maybe that's who I am….."

"You're not that person Liv."

She chuckled. "You don't know that Fitz. We've known each other for what? A little over a month? We don't know each other that well. You don't really know me."

"Maybe not as well as I would like but what I have seen is nothing like the woman he described…nothing Liv. Listen to me, men mess with women's minds all the time. It's usually done to justify their own bad actions."

He smiled before continuing, "I'm revealing some trade secrets and I could get my man's club card revoked for this but here goes…..Men get off on messing with women's minds; they make women believe what they want them to. It's a method to get control, the upper hand, over the relationship. If he could make you believe he had no other choice but to cheat on you because you were so cold or didn't give him none in week or whatever, then he gets to feel better about himself. He's no longer the cheater but the victim and it's now about you being unfeeling or not giving him enough love. Men play that game all the time and it amazes me when women like you, who have everything going for them – beauty, charm, intelligence – fall for it."

She silently reflected on what he said. Of course, it was something she already knew but her heart still refused to let her be free of the influence Edison's words had on her. She still doubted herself; doubted whether she could attract, hold on to and truly, deeply love a man.

"It's just sad…sad that the memories of what's said and done…they never die….they just fill your head with why's and why not's," she said reflectively. She felt better; felt like she unloaded years of repressed heartache on him. But she hadn't considered how it would make him feel. "I'm sorry Fitz, I've gone on and on about my problems and ruined your whole evening; I shouldn't have unloaded on you like that…I don't like 'pity parties' and I usually don't tell people about my personal woes," she tried to give him a smile of reassurance but it was shaky at best.

In one evening, she had broken a countless number of her dating rules. If someone had wrote in about this exact scenario, she wouldn't fail to unleash heavy criticism on her for being so stupid. Men don't want to hear about all the baggage of failed relationships; it's dating suicide, the quickest way to end a relationship before it even started. She took a gulp of the last part of her wine and prepared herself to hear some lame excuse for his quick exit.

"Stop it, don't apologize. I wanted to know what happened and I'm thankful that you trusted me enough to tell me….Liv, I know I haven't known you as long as this Edison guy but what I've seen is a beautiful, caring, loving woman. You are sexy as hell and I refuse to believe that you are anything but an even more passionate woman. Nothing is wrong with you. He was the failure. Haven't you ever considered that he was the problem?...Maybe it wasn't you being cold but him unable to make you desire him like a woman should desire a man."

His words brought silence from both of them. That word - desire - they both felt it, from the moment they first met but all sorts of reasons were given to force them not to act on it. But now, no one could seem to recall one single reason, not one excuse, good enough to make them forget what they felt.

He stared into her eyes…pools of warm brown cinnamon, holding him spellbound with dancing flecks of honey light. He was unable to move, unable to speak and unable to walk away. He watched for any sign of rejection or hesitation and he saw none. All he saw was her welcoming him; willing to allow him in her heart.

They wouldn't recall who moved in first and it wouldn't be about who took the final step to bring their lips closer. What would matter; what would forever be recalled was the sensation of their first kiss and the feeling of love that came with it. The power they felt when their lips touched and the gentleness that followed. Both reticent, unwilling to push the other past the point of comfort; unsure of each other; wanting more but daring to find out what they could take.

When Olivia deepened the kiss, allowing him to taste her, Fitz instinctively brought his hand up and to caress the back of her neck. He had to keep her there with him; he couldn't let this be a fantasy, dream or cruel trick of fate. As long as he could touch her, hold her and feel her – it was real, what they felt was real. Olivia's heart was hammering and there was a rushing sound in her ears; it was like angels beating their wings, fluttering in the night sky. She wanted to bring him closer to her; to mold his body closer to hers. She knew it would feel almost heavenly to lay with him and inching closer, she almost thought it was possible, almost until…

Josie….

Josie yelped and barked as their closing bodies threatened to squish her tiny frame on the couch. She jumped down and sauntered off to her bed, obviously perturbed by their lack of consideration to her being there.

Olivia and Fitz pulled apart and laughed. They did forget Josie was there. Fitz rested his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes, reliving the intense moment they shared – she had truly never felt this way for a man before. She never desired anyone like this.

"Livvy, are you ok?"

She smiled. "No one has called me that since I was a child."

"Good then it's only reserved for me." He liked the fact that he had a name for her that no one else would claim.

"Fitz, this is wrong…" she breathed as reasonable thought began to return.

"Why is it wrong?"

"Because you are with someone else and I won't be the other woman and I won't be the reason behind your break up. Whatever it is between you and Mellie has to be resolved on its own. It should have nothing to do with me."

They moved away from each other. "I broke it off with Mellie," he said resolutely.

"When? Why?" she asked genuinely surprised, stifling any measure of happiness she felt inside. From what she knew of Mellie, she didn't appear to be a woman who would go away quietly.

"After Quinn's party….It wasn't going to work, I didn't love her and I knew…I knew that I needed to break it off with her if I had any chance of being with you…Jake was pushing in too fast."

She smiled at him. She hadn't realized that he knew about Jake. It made her feel good to know that he was jealous.

"Jake has called and he has asked me out but I can't seem to say yes to him…every time I try to, I only see….you," she admitted. He smiled at the assurance that she felt as much for him as he did for her.

"But," she cautioned, "I think we are moving too fast. You just broke it off with Mellie and you need time from that relationship before jumping into another."

"Livvy, I don't need…"

"Please Fitz, for me…Before we start this I just need to be sure that it's just me and you, nothing else…no one else...not to mention how this will affect us at work. Can we just go slow and see where things take us?"

He raised an eyebrow, his mind immediately rejecting the suggestion but the look of panic on her face made him accept it. He had no idea what 'go slow' meant. They were already moving at a turtle's pace. How much slower could they go? He had a feeling he was about to find out and whatever she had in mind, he wouldn't like it.

XXXXXX

By the following day, it was clear that Fitz and Olivia were on two different pages when it came to 'going slow' in their relationship – Olivia wanted to completely ignore their attraction, while Fitz, although willing to be subtle in his affections, did not.

"Why are you pretending like nothing is between us?" Fitz asked in frustration. He had been trying to speak to her alone all day and she kept dodging him. She had Cyrus send her out to speak to sponsors for the magazine; which was clearly not in her job description. She stayed away most of the day and he was sure by her cool attitude that she had arranged it on purpose.

"I'm not Fitz. I'm just trying to maintain a professional relationship. I don't need to be the subject of office gossip and neither do you. Already, that Amanda Tanner girl has been watching me like a hawk, no doubt trying to spy for Mellie," she said as she tried to gather the paperwork on her desk for a last minute meeting with Cyrus. She sighed and concluded, "Look I just think we need to maintain some distance; the attraction is there, it's undeniable but I refuse to feed the rumor mill with whispers about my latest fling."

"A fling? Is that what you think we are…some type of fling?" he was hurt by the low opinion she had of their relationship and obviously of him.

She looked up and realized what she said out loud and how she hurt him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way..I'm sorry."

"Livvy, I'm not trying to jump you in the copy room or anything but you draw more attention to our situation by refusing to look me in the eye or even say hello. You're the one acting different; I'm not."

Quinn knocked on her door and peeped her head in, "Cyrus is ready for you guys," she smiled and left quickly, sensing the tension in the room.

"Come on Fitz, let's go, Cyrus is waiting for us," in truth she was relieved to have the diversion. She didn't want to talk about their relationship in the office. She really didn't want to talk about it at all.

XXXXXX

"So what do you think?" Liv asked Abby in the kitchen as she helped her fill desert bowls sorbet and mint.

"Wait where's the apple pie you promised me?" Olivia had bribed Abby with homemade apple pie to get her to come this evening. She needed her opinion of Alexis' boyfriend Chris.

"I didn't have time to make it…I'm sorry….I'll make it another time…now tell me what do you think? Something is off right?"

Abby rolled her eyes, looking at the sorbet and feeling thoroughly unsatisfied. She sighed and said, "Yes there is something wrong with him…he's gay or bi or whatever…but he goes both ways."

"What?No...that can't be it," Olivia said.

"Can't be what?" Fitz asked as he came in the kitchen with dishes from the guests to put in the sink.

"Abby think's Chris is gay or bi-sexual..she's crazy right?"

Fitz smiled at her and said, "She's right, he is." He laughed at Olivia's shocked face.

"How do you know? You could be mistaken…you thought David was gay."

Abby was appalled, "Wait my David…no not my David he is not gay….your radar is off because my David is the farthest thing from gay…I mean when we are together…."

Both Fitz and Olivia stopped her, "Abby!"

"I'm just saying, my man is not gay, but Lexi's man…he is."

"Yeah he is and I know because…he slipped his number in my jacket pocket," Fitz took out the white piece of paper as proof.

"Oh my god…Lexi's boyfriend is attracted to you…this is….this is…"Olivia couldn't finish her sentence, so Fitz did, "Awkward". They all laughed.

"But who you should be interested in is your sister with Harrison. Why did you invite him by the way?" Abby asked.

"He came to my office unexpectedly, asking what me and my sister were doing tonight…I guess he sort of invited himself…You think he likes Lexi?"

Abby and Fitz looked at each other and laughed; Olivia could be oblivious to things going on around her at times.

"What…what are you laughing at?"

"Livvy, they more than like each other…Have you seen the looks, I'd bet their sleeping together," Fitz explained.

"Yeah and I'd bet your sister is really enjoying it too. She hasn't stopped smiling at him since he walked through the door. She can barely put two sentences together. He got her tongue-tied."

Olivia couldn't believe it; Harrison and her sister. And why didn't her sister tell her? And why would she show up with Chris if she really liked Harrison? Was she dating both of them? Well after tonight, she could definitely push Chris aside but Olivia didn't know how comfortable she was with Harrison dating her sister.

"Well I better get back out there…can't leave David alone for too long…Chris might hit on him," Abby joked but then looking at Fitz and Olivia's face, she corrected herself, "But David is not gay! He's not!" She said as she exited the kitchen with the deserts for the group.

"So what are you thinking?" Fitz asked her as she straightened up the counter.

"Honestly, I'm thinking my sister has a better love life than I do. I guess it has always been that way. She is more open, trusting and less reserved than I am. She lets people in, while I push people away."

He was experiencing that first hand but he decided not to say it out loud. "Well you've had different life experiences so that would account for her being more willing to take risks than you are. It doesn't make you a bad person or anything…it just means you're different."

She threw the dish towel down on the counter. "I take risks!" he gave her a look of disbelief and she repeated, "I take risks! I do…you don't know but I do. I can be as open as the next person and I can prove it to you." She was tired of being the old conservative, reserved, cautious Olivia. She wanted to be the person who took chances and leaped for love. She wanted to have a great time in life.

Fitz thought she was cute. He laughed at her tantrum. "Livvy, you don't have to prove anything to me. I believe you. I'm sure you want to be less cautious and everything else you said and it will come in time."

"Now you're patronizing me…you think this is a joke. It's not…it's my life."

He stopped laughing and hugged her too him. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry I was being insensitive, of course you are adventurous Livvy. I believe you. You don't have to prove it though."

She pulled back and could see that he still did not believe her. She would show him. She pulled his head down and kissed him hard and deep. She opened her mouth to take him in and then swept her own tongue inside his mouth to taste him. She felt his hand go down to her ass to raise her up and bring her body closer to his own. She then felt him lift her to sit on the counter so they could be eyelevel. She liked that. Now she could run her fingers through his curls and let his silky fine hair play over her fingers. She had wanted to do that since the day she met him.

They were both unyielding, relentless in their assault, no concern for the room full of people waiting on them. No apprehension about someone walking in on them in a compromising position. They were equal in passion, compatible in their fervent desire for each other.

She pulled back, satisfied that they were both breathless and panting. She gave him a half smile and said, "You're staying with me tonight." She was proud of herself…she never initiated sex. She was never brazen or bold in her affections for the opposite sex but she wanted to be. She wanted to take what she wanted, do what she wanted without embarrassment and shame. She wanted to let go and tonight she would.

He smiled back and said, "No I'm not."

She assumed she heard him agree and kissed him again. It wasn't until her mind registered what he said that she realized he declined her offer. What the hell!