(Hi everybody, so I know this is late but I was having so much fun on Twitter, Tumblr and reading everyone else's fanfic that I seriously put this on the back burner, although I had several ideas I toyed around with in this chapter. Can I just say that Tony Goldwyn continues to mesmerize me and control my thoughts? I really think it's starting to be unhealthy for me:) Anyway as I mentioned on Twitter, the support and encouragement from this fandom is amazing. Believe me I would not have the motivation to continue writing if it was not for all of you. I thank you and I appreciate you...As always I would LOVE your feedback on this chapter, there's a lot here so hopefully you don't tire of reading:)
Dating Rule: 'I'm FINE' doesn't mean 'I'm FINE'
"So what do you think?"
Fitz skimmed the paperwork quickly. It was straight-forward, not too many details, very little legal jargon and nothing to really be concerned about, besides he trusted his friend and he believed in the project.
"I think its great Linc. I can't believe you got it up and running. I admire you for sticking to it and getting it done," Fitz said smiling as he signed the end of the page.
Lincoln West was a childhood friend. He and Fitz immediately bonded as children growing up in similar environments – the entertainment industry – and experiencing the same challenges, namely dysfunctional families. In their youth they were reckless and irresponsible but one accident sobered them immediately and changed their lives for good. Both of them thankfully escaped with their lives, although Lincoln's girlfriend did not. And while Fitz' wounds were internalized, as a remnant from the accident, Lincoln's scars were exposed for the world to see; he had a prosthetic leg.
Looking at his friend now, Fitz didn't know if it was guilt, obligation, admiration or a mixture of it all that moved him to come whenever Lincoln called or do whatever he wanted. This time, though, it wasn't a favor to Lincoln, Fitz viewed it as something he needed to do; he wanted to help.
"Yeah well, it helps to have the right sponsors and donors. Everyone wants to help the cripple guy right?" Lincoln joked; Fitz hated when he did that. He never viewed Lincoln as a disabled, probably because from the moment they amputated his leg and fitted him for the prosthesis, Lincoln was aggressively pushing himself through therapy, determined to live a normal life. Now it was barely noticeable that he walked with a slight limp.
Lincoln openly acknowledged his disability and was comfortable enough to openly joke about it. He thought it helped people finally stop treating him like an invalid. Fitz thought it also helped that Lincoln was handsome and wealthy.
"Gerry was supposed to help," Fitz said, thinking it was the least his father could do – donate money for a tax write-off.
"Yes and he did, generously. He wondered why you as my silent partner didn't ask him yourself but I made up an excuse…I even told him we would name a room at the center after him. The Grant Room is a study hall towards the back. He's going to christen his namesake at the ribbon cutting ceremony. So the only thing left to do is get the right people to volunteer their time to come and teach the kids. I've had a lot of support but I left a class open for you; two Saturdays and one Thursday a month. I thought you might want to do your creative writing course. Might give you the incentive to finish that book you've been working on forever," Lincoln prompted.
Fitz was thankful that he only told Lincoln about his dream of writing his own book. The desire to write hit him in waves – sometimes he was desperate to put his thoughts on paper; typing furiously like he was possessed but then he would hit a roadblock and instead of working through it, he would give up and doubt himself.
"Hey, you don't have to sell me on it. I want to help. I've wanted to do something like this. What other classes do you have open?"
Lincoln looked down at his paperwork and said, "Well most of the spots have been filled but several of the parents have suggested some dance classes. Its hard finding people willing to volunteer for that; I'm still searching and then there are a couple of other sport activities that I'm still considering. But everything will be up and running within 2 weeks. And by the way, the honorary fundraiser dinner is next week, black tie, chance for you to dress up and bring a date – something that's not too hard for you to do," Lincoln said and then laughed at Fitz' frowning expression. His friend's love life must not be going all that well.
"These days, I'm lucky if I can get her to answer my phone calls," Fitz said realizing that while Lincoln probably thought he was joking, he was in actuality telling the truth.
XXXXXX
"Anuptaphobia…..it's the word for the fear of staying single or being alone forever. 2 in 5 women suffer from it. They actually made a word for it. Can you believe it?" Michelle said as she took another sip of her drink.
Alexis laughed at her friend's comment; it was just like Michelle to throw out random facts about things. Her favorite Twitter page was Uber Facts. Alexis found it amusing. "Michelle you are not going to end up old and alone, stop it, you're giving off negative vibes and any guys remotely interested in you will be completely turned off, right Liv?"
Olivia was zoned out, not really paying attention to her sister or her sister's friend, whom she really didn't like. She thought Michelle was pretentious and immature. Abby's bump to the arm startled her, "What? What did you say?"
"Never mind, where are you tonight? This was supposed to be a fun evening, just the girls, you know, but your mind is a million miles away," Alexis said.
"I know I'm sorry….But I'm fine….So what were you saying?"
Michelle spoke up, "Do you think guys see me as a negative person? I don't think I am but what do you think?" Michelle never missed an opportunity to question Olivia about relationships. Little did she know, Olivia could barely handle her own relationship problems. But judging by the events from last week's dinner party and Olivia's despondent attitude ever since that night, Abby and Alexis knew it.
"I don't think Liv wants to get into that right now," Abby offered, seeing the look of distress on Olivia's face.
"Yeah let's just drop the subject," Alexis agreed. She shot Abby a look of helplessness. Neither had any idea what happened between Olivia and Fitz; all they knew was that they were in the kitchen one minute and within moments Olivia was practically kicking everyone out of her home. Neither of them could get Olivia to open up about the incident since that time.
Olivia knew she wasn't very good company but she didn't really care. She didn't want to go out and she definitely didn't want to come to this bar. Abby's persistence had become irritating to the point that Olivia thought it easier to just go along with the plan for the evening.
She had already seen Jake twice this evening but thankfully he was busy working and barely had time to speak to her. She was concerned about the mix signals she could be giving him because he kept asking her out and she kept declining. She didn't tell him about Fitz, figuring that there was not much to tell but now she felt like she was cheating on Fitz by even being there.
"So I got a tattoo," Alexis said, shocking everyone at the table.
"What!" Olivia said, practically shouting.
"Calm down Liv, it's just a small one, right at the small of my back…Actually me and Harrison got tattoos. He already had a couple but he wanted another one and I went with him and decided to get my own. What do you guys think?" She stood up, lifted the back of her shirt and slightly lowered her waistband. It was a small, feminine tattoo of an Asian symbol.
"I think it's hot…what does it stand for?" Abby asked. Michelle was already on her smart phone googling the ratings on local tattoo shops. She tended to imitate Alexis sometimes to the point of nausea.
"Eternal love," Alexis said smiling.
"So this thing with you and Harrison, is it serious?" Olivia asked with an attitude. Her face was anything but pleased about the relationship. Alexis tilted her head in confusion; she had no idea why Olivia wouldn't approve of the relationship. Harrison was a 100 times better than the last guy, who happened to be on the down low.
"It's getting there, I mean we haven't mentioned the love thing yet but I'm meeting his family this weekend at some birthday party for his cousin. So I'm excited about that."
"I'm happy for you Lexi. Harrison is a good guy," Abby said sincerely and kicked Olivia under the table.
"Stop kicking me Abby, Lexi knows I only want her to be happy," Olivia said.
"Do you?" Alexis questioned suspiciously.
The silence was uncomfortable. Olivia and Alexis stared at each other; shooting daggers across the table.
Abby cleared her throat. "Michelle, can you come with me to get another drink from the bar?" Michelle opened her mouth to protest but Abby quickly grabbed her from the chair and forced her to leave the table.
"What the hell is your problem Liv?"
"Hey, don't talk to me like that," Olivia said censuring her sister's tone.
"Then what is it? Why are you never happy for me? For someone who makes a living giving people dating advice you suck at taking it yourself. Anyone looking at you would think you didn't know the first thing about men and women and relationships. It's pitiful."
"Shut up Lexi. Just because I'm not like you, spreading my legs for any man that shows me attention, doesn't mean…"
"Maybe you should and dust off the cobwebs down there. God knows you're about to shrivel up and die…"
"I just can't believe you were sleeping with Harrison while dating the gay guy…what kind of person…."
"You think you know all about love but you don't know shit…" Alexis started but then stopped mid-sentence and almost kicked herself as she looked upon Olivia's triumphant face. It was a rule among the Pope girls – whenever they got into an argument, the first person who used a curse word automatically lost. Their father always told them that curse words were for people who didn't have the intelligence to find the right words to express their feelings.
"I won," Olivia said with a victorious smile.
"Yeah but you know I was right….Seriously Liv, what is the matter? Talk to me."
Olivia sighed and said, "I…I'm falling in love with him." She cringed when she heard herself say it out loud. She was jealous. Everyone was happy in love but her – Quinn and Jesse; Alexis and Harrison; Abby and David. All of them were ecstatically thrilled about being in love but not her – she was miserable in love.
"Fitz? Fitz? Wow, well it was only a matter of time," Alexis said smiling. "I mean you two are like the most beautiful people on the planet, it was inevitable that you fall for each other."
"I said I'm in love with him, I didn't say that he loved me," Olivia said sadly.
When Alexis gave a look of confusion, Olivia explained what happened in the kitchen at the dinner. She expected Alexis to sympathize with her and take her side, instead she laughed at her. And now hearing herself recount the event, Olivia now found it hilarious too. She didn't think it was a funny at the time and she still wished it had happened to someone else but as she swore Alexis to secrecy, she joined her sister in laughing at it.
"Liv, if that man didn't love you he would have jumped you in the kitchen. You would have been peeling your sweaty, naked ass off the counter."
Olivia laughed and then said, "I saw Edison."
All merriment instantly drained away from Alexis' face. She never hated another person as much as she hated Edison. "Oh Liv, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, Fitz was with me, thankfully. I ended up telling him everything, which makes it even more shocking that he would want to be with me."
"So wait, you saw Edison one night, unloaded all your ex-boyfriend baggage on Fitz and the very next day you proposition Fitz to sleep with you?!" Alexis asked smiling at her sister's antics.
"Well when you put it like that, it does sound ridiculous….I'm so embarrassed. I've ignored Fitz for almost 2 weeks. I'll only talk to him when I'm forced to at the office. He's tried talking to me but I keep pushing him away…I need to get it together, fast…I don't want to lose him, Lexi. I want him…real bad…"
Alexis smiled at her sister. Olivia was tormented but this was good. She had never fallen this hard for anyone, not even Edison. Her sister was finally starting the road to recover from the toxic relationship she had in the past. She was finally letting someone in and allowing herself to love him back. It was gonna be great.
XXXXXX
She had been waiting and by her watch, it had already been 7 minutes. She sat alone in Cyrus' office waiting for him to show up for the early morning meeting. Quinn warned her that he was running a little late but asked that she continue to wait. So she continued to wait.
Cyrus came in the office with two cups of coffee, one of which he offered to Olivia. "Thanks for waiting."
"Sure no problem," she said dispassionately.
"So, how are you doing kiddo?" Cyrus asked as he took the seat behind his desk.
"I'm fine Cy. Are we waiting for Fitz?" She tried not to sound too hopeful but she hadn't seen Fitz in days and she wanted to talk to him. She couldn't go another day without resolving their problems. Her anger and embarrassment had quickly faded into fear and anxiety that Fitz would tire of her neurotic, insecure, indecisiveness and decide that she wasn't worth the effort anyway.
"No…I already updated him. He won't be back around until Monday; some family issues. He's available by cell and email if you need him though."
"No it's fine," she strangled out.
"Alright, well the details about the photo shoot have been emailed to you and you'll need to report to the site first thing Monday morning. I'm told it will likely take all day and…."
Olivia only vaguely heard the rest of what Cyrus said. Her stomach dropped and she literally wanted to cry. Was Fitz now avoiding her? Had he had enough of her ignoring him? Had she lost him? She had an urgent feeling to run out of Cyrus' office and find him to explain, apologize; to do anything that would make him understand how much she wanted to be with him. She suffered through the meeting and as soon as she exited, she went to her office and picked up her phone to send him a text message. She paused, not quite knowing what to say. How do you express your feelings through a text message? Before she lost her nerve and talked herself out of the message all together she typed a simple text: Fitz, I'm sorry...Olivia.
She watched her phone continuously almost willing it to chime with a responding text from him. The wait and the silence were unbearable. Was this how he felt when she was ignoring him over the past 2 weeks? Now she felt even worse for what she had done and how she had treated him. Hoping to communicate with him telepathically, she whispered a chant to her phone: Please call. Please call. Please call. But by the end of the evening she realized the awful truth; he wasn't calling her back. This relationship-thing was harder than she thought. She sighed as she realized that it was going to be a long sleepless night of wine, tears and sad music.
XXXXXX
"This is a surprise," Olivia said in the friendliest voice she could conjure up. She was the last person on earth Olivia wanted to see but admittedly her curiosity was piqued at what precisely would move Mellie to come to her office in the middle of the day.
"Is it really?" spitefulness, venom carefully masked behind a delightful smile – Mellie's trademark.
"Should I have expected you?" Olivia asked as she resumed her seat behind her desk. It struck her that Mellie picked the perfect day to come here; Fitz was gone so therefore there was no danger of him popping in unexpected. Knowing Mellie, she probably planned it this way.
"No, not really. I hope you don't mind, Quinn was nice enough to let me wait for you in here," Mellie said sweetly. Olivia did mind but she was determined to politely endure the conversation and be as cordial as possible.
'No, of course not. So how can I help you?"
Adversaries, with one man standing between them. One woman loved him and the other wanted to control him. Smiles plastered on their faces and looks of innocence did nothing to hide the contempt each felt for the other.
"Olivia, I'm not here as some 'crazy-bitch ex-girlfriend' looking for revenge. Contrary to what you may think I'm totally fine with the break-up; I'm not angry at Fitz and I'm not angry at you. I thought you might want to know that."
"Mellie, your break up had nothing to do with me."
Mellie chuckled, "Please Olivia, do not insult my intelligence. Fitz was fine…he was happy…until you came along. Then, he changed. But as I said, it's okay…I put two years into our relationship and he just walked away but that's fine…Anyway, I'm sure you will be able to help him more than I could…I was getting tired of indulging him."
"What are you talking about Mellie?" Olivia knew as soon as she asked the question, she wouldn't like Mellie's answer. She wished she could pretend that she already knew whatever it was Mellie was talking about but her curiosity got the best of her.
"He didn't tell you?" she asked with a show of great concern, "Of course he didn't…Well Olivia, it really isn't my place to tell Fitz' personal business but I will say that he has had some serious trouble in the past with his family and with the magazine. One more screw up and the magazine may find a way to terminate him."
Olivia frowned and wondered whether she should trust Mellie. She had lied to her before; Olivia was sure she would do it again. It didn't sound at all like Fitz to her. What kind of trouble was he in? What happened with his family? What happened with the magazine? And why hadn't he told her?
"Well obviously you two have a lot to talk about. So," Mellie sighed and stood from her seat, effectively accomplishing what she wanted, "I wish you both the best. And don't worry Olivia, Fitz is a good guy, he just has…issues. But then again, don't we all," she ended with a light-hearted chuckle as if she had just told a joke. She wished Olivia a good day and left the office; Olivia could have sworn she practically skipped away.
XXXXXX
Olivia's hand reached out from under the comforter. Keeping her eyes closed she felt around until she located her cell phone; the incessant buzzing from the incoming text disturbing the last few minutes of her slumber.
Through squinted eyes, she read:
Meet me in the Palisades, Sunset and Los Liones Drive – Fitz
Olivia groaned and put the phone down, ignoring the text. It was 7AM on a Saturday morning; too early to be sending text messages.
After several minutes, the phone buzzed again.
Stop ignoring me. I'm not going away. Get up and get dressed – Fitz
She was irritated as she typed a responding message.
Leave me alone. I'm sleep – Olivia
You are not sleep, so get up. It's important – Fitz
It took Olivia 5 minutes of staring at her bedroom ceiling to finally decide to get up and get dressed to meet him. She toyed with the notion of ignoring him all day but that would do neither of them any good. She was more than a little upset with the fact that he never responded to her message and thought this would be an opportunity to let him know how wrong he was for treating her that way. So she shoved the covers aside and went to shower and dress.
XXXXXX
Fitz couldn't tolerate it any longer. Her icy demeanor and distant attitude had persisted for the past 2 weeks. He had indulged her tantrum for far too long. He tried not to pressure her to talk to him, hoping that eventually she would come around but she hadn't and now their work relationship had been affected. They still produced good work but Fitz knew it was sub-par; they could do better; they had done better, in the past when they were getting along.
Even Cyrus had asked on multiple occasions if they were doing okay. Her response was always the same, "I'm fine", "We're fine," which he knew meant that the she was anything but 'fine'; she was Freaked Out-Insecure-Neurotic-Emotional.
He thought by now she would have understood his response in the kitchen; he had explained himself enough times that it should have been implanted in her brain. He was honest and told her that as much as he wanted her, he didn't want to sleep with her on a dare – she was daring herself to be adventurous and risky and he didn't want their relationship to be her test subject. When they got together, as he was confident that eventually they would, it would be when she finally realized that he was not like Edison or other men; when she finally learned to trust him enough to give herself to him. She had a very low opinion of men in general, which he understood, but she needed to know that he didn't fit into the same category.
No matter how hard he tried to explain, she only pretended to understand. Her ego was bruised and as a result she kept him at a distance. At the office she kept herself secluded behind closed doors. But from his office, he could hear her pacing the floor almost daily. Whenever he tried to discuss the questions for their next article, she kindly suggested that he come up with his response in his office and just email it to her – her preferred method of communication.
It had to stop.
And then to receive her two-word text message irritated him even further. The fact that she thought two words were sufficient to placate him after 2 weeks of silence was ridiculous.
It was 2 ½ hours later when she finally arrived at the destination. He had only arrived 30 minutes earlier, already estimating that it would take her a while to finally appear. He was leaning against his car when she pulled up next to him. She wondered how he could look so incredibly sexy this early in the morning. It irritated her that she couldn't control the earth-shattering attraction she had for him. She turned off her engine and remained in the car.
He opened the car door for her but she didn't get out.
"Get out of the car."
"No! And I don't appreciate being summoned here on a Saturday morning. I was sleeping Fitz. I was resting." She met his chilly reception with her own.
"Get out of the car."
"No," she was digging in. She crossed her arms over her chest like a stubborn child.
"Get out of the car," Fitz temper was rising. She was being deliberately obstinate.
"No, just tell me what you need to say so I can get out of here."
He yelled at her, "Get out of the damn car Olivia!"
His tone shocked her. She had never seen him so angry and never expected to hear him talk to her like that. She got out of the car and let him lead her to an empty bench. "Sit down," he said. Olivia could see his jaw clenching and a vein exposed in the side of his neck. She had never seen that before either. He must really be angry, she thought.
He went to the trunk of his car and retrieved a pair of hiking boots. He came back and kneeled before her. Without a word he began removing her shoes and replacing them with the boots. Olivia watched him in wonder – it was an incredibly intimate gesture; he handled her feet so gently. She watched his hands, his face and his mouth, instantly aroused by the care and attention he showed toward her. He caught her watching him and she looked away, embarrassed.
"If you would have told me what we were doing I would have dressed for it," she said. He remained quiet.
The day was not going as he planned. He intended to show her his favorite spot. The hiking trail ended at a cliff with a magnificent view high above the Pacific Ocean; on a clear day you could see as far as Catalina Island. He could sit there for hours just basking in the warm LA sun and letting the crisp air hit his skin. He intended for them to be able to sit and talk; resolve their problems and if he had his way kiss and make up. But her stubbornness derailed all his good intentions.
Fitz was angry to be true but he also found pleasure in being so close to her. To be able to touch her again after so long meant everything to him. Her feet were so soft, dainty, delicate; he couldn't help but enjoy the moment. He was falling in love with this woman and her stubbornness was not going to deter his craving to be with her. When he was changing her shoes, he wanted nothing more than to pick her up and carry her away to be with him but he had not forgotten the past couple of weeks and her repeated attempts to push him away.
He wouldn't give her the satisfaction of being soft; he wasn't going to let her get away with her childish behavior. He was still decidedly irritated with her, which was evident by his near attempt to cut off all circulation in her feet by forcibly lacing up her hiking boots nearly too tight.
When he finished he stood up and began walking away from her. He turned around when he realized she wasn't following. He gave her a stern look, silently commanding her to follow him, but she returned with a look of defiance. "Where are we going?" she asked him from her seat.
"We are hiking, come on," he directed. His voice still had not softened. But he was inwardly pleased when she got up to follow behind him, although she had a difficult time catching up.
"Why are you walking so fast?" she asked.
"I'm not walking too fast. Your jeans are too tight and you can barely keep up."
"Your legs are a lot longer than mine and my jeans are not tight," she called out, countering his argument. He said nothing else but kept walking in front of her.
"What is your problem?" she asked.
"I don't have a problem."
"Then why am I getting texts early on Saturday morning telling me to suffer through LA traffic to get here."
"Because you need to get over yourself and learn how to communicate with me," he spouted, still refusing to slow down to allow her to catch up.
"You're angry because I haven't been talking to you!...I'm the one who should be angry. I was the one who was humiliated and embarrassed in my own house," she was getting breathless, struggling to keep up with his pace.
"You know that's not what I wanted…you know that. You know why I said what I said and how I feel about you and you still give me the silent treatment for two gotdamned weeks Olivia!"
She felt bad. She knew she had been unreasonable; she had closed herself off from him because her ego was bruised all the while admiring him for preventing them from making the mistake of pushing their relationship too far too fast. She was conflicted and instead of talking about it with him, she shut him out.
"Fitz, please," she barely managed to say. The emotion in his voice was unmistakable. After two weeks of ducking and dodging, all she wanted to do now was talk to him.
He suddenly stopped, turned around and faced her. He slowly walked back to her until he was so close she could see the ferocity in his blue eyes, "And your taking Jake's calls again. Is he the one that you want to be with? Is he the one you want? Will he adore you like I do?" His accusation surprised her. She had only spoken to Jake a few times in the past couple of weeks and in the last conversation she was honest and told him that she could not pursue a relationship with him.
He didn't give her a chance to respond. He turned and walked back towards the hiking trail. He was about to walk away again.
"Stop walking!...Stop!...Walking!" she yelled after him and he immediately stopped. She was hurt. How could he think she would want Jake? She hadn't said it yet, but couldn't he tell that she was in love with him? And he was the only one she wanted to be with.
Fitz turned around and saw her teary expression, realizing that it matched his own. He waited for her to say something but even when she opened her mouth no words came. They were both too overcome with emotion to speak.
His stride back to her was quick. He reached her in practically two steps. He pulled her close to him and kissed her with an intensity that threatened to bruise her lips but she didn't care; she pulled him even closer. She missed him desperately; an emotional mess – needing him close, yet day after day pushing him away. He backed her up against a tree, never breaking the kiss. It was fierce, aggressive almost savage. She moaned as she felt him move to her neck and nibble and suck at her neck. It would leave marks, which thrilled her even more – she never had anyone leave marks of possession on her body. His hands began wondering over her body; moving from her stomach and raising to the point of caressing her breast through the thin shirt she wore.
They were lost in each other; forgetting they were in a public place. Ignoring the fact that other hikers were starting up on the trail. It wasn't until they heard the cat-calls, whistles and someone suggesting that they 'get a room' that Fitz finally raised his head to end the encounter. He could barely breathe. He never released his grip on her waist but rested his forehead against the tree next to her until his breathing returned to a normal pace. "You're killing me Livvy, you really are."
"I know…I'm sorry Fitz," Olivia panted out. "So…so can we stop hiking now?"
XXXXXX
"Tell me what you want Livvy," Fitz said as he watched her over the breakfast table. She had been fidgety, unable to relax, and him staring at her intently only made her more nervous. She tried looking everywhere except in his eyes, making small talk about menial subjects that he didn't want to speak of and avoiding the real issue.
"Nothing I'm full, thanks," she ventured knowing that food was not what he meant. She sighed, "I know that's not what you meant…but you have to know how hard this is for me."
His eyes softened as he understood her reticence. "Livvy, look at me," he waited until she complied before continuing, "Why are you afraid of me?"
"It's not you…well it's not just you…but it's what I feel for you that scares me. It's too intense and I've never felt like this before. Sometimes I get inside my own head and I can ruin things before they even start. I don't want to do it this time, not with you Fitz. I want to try, that's if…if you want to."
He had no idea how this gorgeous woman could feel insecure or doubtful in the least. There was no question of whether he wanted her. He wanted her from the first moment he met her. And judging by what he felt right now, he would always want her.
He smiled reassuringly and said, "Dear Fitz and Olivia, I know personal relationships with co-workers are difficult but I want to start dating a woman I work with. We really like each other. But she's had a bad relationship in the past and that makes her afraid to trust her feelings and take the risk. What should I do?"
Olivia laughed at him. But he insisted, "Well Livvy, what should he do?"
"Ok, I'll play along…mmmm…let me think….Definitely don't give up on her. Most of us have issues, problems in our past that have shaped who we are today. If you really like her, like you say you do, then fight for your relationship. If she sees you fighting for it, she will do the same. She will see you as someone who really wants to be with her despite her fears and she will trust you. She'll have no choice, especially since she's in love with you."
He was quiet, touched by her words. She was used to him always having something to say so his silence made her doubt her openness. Maybe it was she who scared him this time. "Fitz, I…"
"Livvy, I'm in this with you…we're in this together. I want this just as much as you do, if not more."
She was elated at the possibility of the relationship; excited about the newness of it and eager to prove to herself that she could love him. She could allow herself to be vulnerable and open to something new and, come what may she would enjoy the ride. Even now being with him in public was different. She was felt free to really BE with him – no hiding and no pretenses. He was no longer tied to Mellie and she was detangling herself from her past and her toxic feelings about men.
She watched him as he spoke about his weekend, which was filled with friends and family obligations. He wanted to spend it with her but he had already committed himself. His hands were so big and expressive, had she not noticed that before? The way his mouth moved, the smirk he would put on, which as just as adorable as it was sexy. And his voice…she swore she could listen to him speak forever.
"Livvy?...Livvy?...Did you hear what I said?" Fitz asked.
Olivia shook her head at her own fancifulness. "I'm sorry Fitz…what was it you said?"
Fitz smiled and said, "I asked if you would go with me to this fundraiser my friend is giving next Friday. Its black tie and I'm sorry for the short notice but he just reminded me of it."
"Of course I will. You know I will."
"So what was it you were thinking about a minute ago…you looked dazed…what's going on?"
"Nothing…it's nothing…just….," she paused, gathering the courage to speak her mind, "I was just sitting here waiting and wondering when you're going to ask me out on our first date."
He liked it when she told him what was on her mind. She still wasn't completely comfortable with honestly expressing herself to him but he knew it would come in time. The anticipation and the eagerness on her face bordered on comical and he couldn't help but laugh.
XXXXXX
Exhilaration, excitement and rising sexual arousal was a dangerous combination when it couldn't be released properly. And these weren't ideal circumstances to indulge fleshly sensations – surrounded by cameramen, photographers, directors, stylists and on and on. Still the setting, the intimacy and the penchant for a passionate response was unmistakable. It was almost surreal, as when a fantasy suddenly becomes reality.
(CLICK-CLICK-CLICK) The noise from the camera shutters would continue to remind them to stay in focused on the present.
"Do you know how beautiful you are?" he said as he gently kissed her shoulder.
She was weak in the knees but hazily followed the cameraman's direction and slowly climbed the stairs higher and higher to the bridal suite. She, the imaginary bride, dressed in a long, white, sleeveless dress and he the groom in his well-fitted charcoal grey suit.
She felt Fitz' hand snake around her waist and stop her ascent as he came up from behind to pull her even closer to him eliminating any glimmer of spatial light that could peep between their bodies. He was only one step beneath her. His hand was so warm, so comforting; soothing her nerves but doing nothing for her arousal. And by the feel of the bulge pressing against her ass; his arousal was coming to the fore as well. "I guess you're feeling it too," she turned around to give him a half smile and was delighted to find him so close and at eye level where she could gaze into the deep blue sea. A slight moan escaped but neither could tell who it came from – the feeling was mutual.
"Ok let's go in to the garden…we will need to do another wardrobe change before we get to the bedroom shots," the photographer advised.
Fitz was trying desperately to clear his mind. This photo shoot was becoming more difficult than he previously estimated. He had done photo shoots alone and with his family before; usually long, tiring and drawn out always trying to get that perfect shot. But this was different – this time he was with the woman he was falling in love with and trying desperately to hold out on sex until she trusted him enough to love him back. Being this close to her was not helping and with their "chemistry" being the theme of the shoot, he had a feeling that this was not as close as they were going to get.
The garden setting was beautiful – perfect for a wedding or an engaged couple's photo gallery.
She had been teasing him all day about how she was going squeal over his gorgeous pictures. She did her best imitation of a fangirl scream of his name, which earned her a playful squeeze from him, "What?" she asked laughing. He threw his head back in laughter, telling her to "Stop it." He ended up kissing her shoulder again, lingering in the kiss resulting in a giddiness that Olivia could no longer contain and the bliss between them was marvelously captured on film.
(CLICK-CLICK-CLICK) The photographer and cameraman gave each other a knowing look both extremely pleased with the personal and intimate shots they were getting with little to no direction. The obvious sexual tension between these two would almost certainly be a subject of continued conversation among the crew after the shoot ended.
Fitz holding her from behind was becoming her favorite position – if only there were no clothes between them. She moved her hands to intertwine with his fingers; such large, strong masculine hands. Following direction, she moved her head to the side and felt him bend down until his lips were inches away from hers. Even when holding her breath she could smell the aura about him and it was enveloping her. He inhaled and his slow exhalation of warm air graced her lips as he nuzzled against her cheek. She might have breathed his name, Fitz, but could not recall.
The second wardrobe change was more casual and Fitz hoped that this setting would allow him to control his feelings but he doubted it very much. He was relieved to find that Olivia had been dressed casually as well. He figured there weren't many suggestive photos they could take with them dressed so casually – but he was wrong.
They were on the balcony waiting for the photographer to set up for the next shot. Olivia's back was on the railing with Fitz was standing directly in front of her – trapping her with his arms. "Oh wait I think my shirt is wrong, my bra strap is showing," Olivia said without thinking and to herself mostly. She reached up to fix it. "Here let me help you," Fitz offered and began adjusting her bra strap and her shirt. By the time they realized what they were doing, Olivia's head popped up too quickly and her lips landed on his. They pulled back immediately recognizing where they were. Olivia gave him an apologetic smile, "Sorry."
(CLICK-CLICK-CLICK)
He moved closer and closer; pressing her body against the railing; staring down at her while she looked away. She could feel his eyes burning against her face; digesting every aspect of her profile. Suddenly she turned and allowed him to hold her from behind. It was a serious shot and she tried to contain her smile; feeling the pleasure of him pressed against her body was making her flustered. Then she felt his hand come around her and grasp her stomach. He brought his head to her shoulder and they were cheek-to-cheek. They both instinctively rubbed their cheeks together and she stifled a purr at the feel of the soft caress.
The bridal bed; a four-poster bed with feather white bedding – perfect for a newly married couple. But that was not them, Olivia counseled herself to focus on reality. He sat on the edge of the bed and she stood between his legs. He leaned into her chest and she cradled his head, moving down to his broad shoulders. The photographer called their names and they both turned to look for the intimate shot.
"This is a beautiful room," she said trying to make small talk as they waited for their next direction.
"You could imagine that this is our room," he teased, smiling as he looked up at her; watching as she moved her hair away from her face.
She laughed and it was infectious; he laughed with her. She relaxed in his arms as she felt his hands move closer to her ass and she followed the direction to rest the side of her head against the top of his.
(CLICK-CLICK-CLICK)
The last shoot of the day took the longest in preparation. The theme changed to old Hollywood Glamour. Olivia spent considerable time in hair and makeup. The dress they had for her was more beautiful than the last and it was extremely sexy. The corset top of the dress clung to her petite figure and dipped enough to accent her breasts. The crowning touch was a split in the satin night gown dress that reached all the way to the top of her thigh.
When she walked in the bedroom she caught Fitz eye as he gave her a full smile of admiration. He immediately walked over to her. "Amazing," he said as he hugged her.
She smiled in appreciation but she thought he looked more enticing. When she saw him the first thought that came was the affinity he bore to James Bond 007 – provocative, mysterious, tantalizing, all perfect descriptions for him.
Another bedroom – larger and classier than the last; more like a hotel presidential suite. A couple shots of them embracing each other, then as directed, he began slowly unbuttoning the back of her dress. 5 buttons undone and most of her back was exposed to the feel of his hand grazing, massaging her back. Suddenly there were just too many buttons for him to get through and she wanted to tell him to rip the damn dress off…
She felt like prey. He sat in a chair watching her. It was completely unnecessary for the photographer to direct him to keep his eyes on Olivia; that was the simple, automatic part. His eyes could feast on her beauty all day, any day. The hard part was restraining himself from going over, picking her up and flipping her down on the bed. She was 10 feet away from him but he swore he could make it to her in one stride. He was fine as long as they didn't have to touch each other.
He should have known that would not be possible. Not only did they take the photos with him sensually embracing her but he was now lying beneath her half-dressed with her hand caressing the soft, fine hair of his bare chest. Lying between his legs, surrounded by his protective arms was creating a flurry in her heart and inferno in her blood. She was somewhat relieved to feel his heartbeat pacing at an accelerated rate underneath her hand. His hand moving over her ass was the point of no return; she surprised herself with the pool of wetness developing between her legs – good thing she wasn't wearing underwear, which the movement of his hands allowed him to now come to that realization as well.
"Mmmm, this thin dress is the only thing separating me from your lovely ass. So close…" he whispered seductively in her ear. She shivered despite her dire need to maintain control.
(CLICK-CLICK-CLICK)
"Ok everyone that's a wrap, great job," the photographer said and everyone clapped and cheered for Fitz and Olivia, embarrassing them both.
XXXXXX
When Olivia immerged from the dressing room she was happy to see that Fitz waited for her. She gave him a smile of appreciation and affection – not really knowing how to proceed in their relationship or what to expect from him. All she knew was that, after today, she would want him even more, if that were even possible. But she was reluctant to initiate anything, fearing rejection again.
She eagerly accepted the invitation to dinner at his place. And told him she would meet him there after going home to check on Josie. When she finally arrived, she was shocked to hear voices coming from his home; she assumed that they would be dinning alone. She raised her hand to knock but the door swung open and Olivia was surprisingly greeted by a beautiful older woman, tall, blonde with grey eyes and a remarkable resemblance to Fitz. She immediately thought her to be Fitz' older sister, Lily.
Lily was just as surprised to see Olivia standing on the doorstep, but she soon recovered and smiled brightly as she extended her hand to pull Olivia inside. "You must be Olivia. Fitz was just kicking me out so that I wouldn't be here when you arrived. I'm so glad you came before I left. It's so nice to meet you, I'm Lily."
Olivia returned the smile. "It's nice to meet you too Lily. I'm sorry you feel you have to leave on my account. You can stay if you like."
Fitz yelled from another room, "No, she has to leave right now. She came without calling and now she has to leave."
"Fitz that is no way to treat your only sister. I can't believe you," Lily yelled back in a hurt voice.
Fitz walked into the foyer and greeted Olivia with a kiss on the lips before addressing Lily, "Don't play like you're hurt…you know you're not…you only came to tell me about Gerry's thing and you could have done that over the phone, which means that Tommy told you about Olivia and you came here trying to get more information."
Lily smiled at her brother when she noticed the affection he showed towards Olivia. He had never treated a woman like that in front of his family and it was telling. Her little brother was changing for the better. Already, she liked seeing him with Olivia.
"Ok, Ok, but don't ever say I never come to see you baby brother. It was very nice to meet you Olivia," she said as she gave her a brief hug and then she gave Fitz a hug saying, "Bye Fitz, love you."
"Love you too."
XXXXXX
Olivia was stuffed; she felt like she was waddling from the dining room table to the couch. "That was so good. I'm so stuffed, I feel like I need to unbutton my jeans," she said jokingly as she watched him refill her wine glass.
"Whatever makes you feel comfortable, I don't mind," Fitz said teasingly.
"So what did you think of today?" she asked as he sat next to her. The TV was on but the volume was low and neither really paid attention to whatever was being played.
"I think you looked amazingly beautiful and the pictures should turn out great. I still can't believe they want a photo spread of us in the magazine. It's practically unheard of; we aren't celebrities or anything, it seems unnecessary."
"It must be Cyrus trying to sell us on another level. You know him – he's gonna keep pimping us out until he can squeeze us for the very last dollar," Olivia said laughing.
Fitz laughed at her comment but knew her estimation was pretty accurate. "So how did you feel about it?"
She gave him a serious look before answering, "Honestly?" and when he nodded his head to encourage her candidness, she continued, "I felt extremely turned on…like cold shower kind of turned on."
He smiled at her, "You know I'm really enjoying this no hiding, honest and open side of you. How can I get more of that?"
"If you kiss me I'll tell you," she said and held her breath waiting for him to kiss her. She told herself that she wasn't going to do make the first move but being with him made all rational thought disappear.
There was a low rumble of laughter from him before he leaned in to kiss her; thankful that she initiated the intimacy. He gently pecked her lips, running his tongue over the outside and then tasting the inside of her lips. She was so sweet, so intoxicating that it didn't take long for him to seek entrance into her mouth and she willingly, eagerly complied. The kiss magnified to a burning, passionate joining as she squirmed beneath him, trying to push them farther and farther along.
Olivia sought and found the opening to the back of his shirt; she needed to feel his bare skin; run her hands over his back; press his body closer to hers. When she reached her goal she moaned into his mouth, roused by the feel of him. Fitz followed her lead and did the same, except the treasure he found was the feel of a lace bra covering her breasts. He adjusted their position so that he was no longer on top of her but they both lay on their sides with his back against the couch. Never breaking the kiss, he unbuttoned her blouse and removed it; with one hand he unhooked her bra, using his mouth to form a trail down her body. He inhaled the scent of her between the mounds of her breasts before diving in to feast himself by licking, sucking teasing her nipples.
Olivia thought she was about to lose her mind. She was shattering inside, full of sensations each more powerful than the last. She moaned his name over and over again; delighting in the feelings he was giving her and never wanting him to stop. He wouldn't stop in the middle of this would he? No, he wouldn't be that cruel. Just in case he thought it, she whispered, "Don't stop".
Fitz' hand moved down to unbutton her jeans. "Lift up a little for me," he said and through her haze she heard him and complied. Before she knew it she was practically completely naked underneath him and he had on all his clothing. She wanted him naked with her and went to undress him before he stayed her hand, "Not yet," he said.
She almost said something in protest until she felt his hand stroking her; teasing her with a feather light touches before using his finger to rub circles on her clit. He brought her leg on top of his to give him greater access before resuming his position of driving her crazy with need. When he inserted his finger, she bucked off the couch, grabbing his shoulders just to hold on. He was moving at a rhythm that increased her frenzy causing body to jerk and move to meet his finger.
He wanted to capture her moans within his mouth so he reclaimed her lips while he continued the magic he worked with his fingers. He knew she was ready to release and trailed kisses down her neck, encouraging her to let go and scream as loud as she wanted to. And she did; she exploded, loudly.
Her eyes remained tightly shut as her body continued to hum in delight. She had felt something with Fitz that she had not felt with any other man; it was passion, carnal, wanton desire. She didn't care whether it was ladylike; it felt good, damned good and she wanted to do that over and over again but next time with him inside her.
"Livvy?"
She opened her eyes to see him staring intently at her. Bringing her hand up to caress his face, she smiled at his look of concern. "That was incredible, Fitz…but what…what about you?"
He kissed her forehead. "Something to save for next time….It's a little late and you've had a lot to drink…Stay here with me tonight?"
When she smiled in agreement, he kissed her again. Olivia thought it was the most sacrificially loving thing for him to do. To allow her to get used to him, to know the pleasure of being with him, what intimacy meant with him, before taking them to the next stage. She was so thankful and full of love for him at that moment but she refrained from saying anything that might scare him off or ruin the moment they shared.
In the early morning, Fitz awoke with a start as he heard a scream and glass breaking. He jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs in the direction of the noise. His beating heart only calmed when he finally found the source of the scare: Dressed only in one of his shirts, Olivia was standing his kitchen, a broken glass at her feet and a look of remorse on her face. Standing before her in the middle of the room was his brother Tommy, clad only in his briefs.
"Tommy put some clothes on now!" Fitz yelled to his brother, who started to put on his pants.
Careful not to step on any glass, he grabbed Olivia and hugged her to him, "Livvy, baby, are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah Fitz I'm okay. I just didn't expect him to be there; I just got spooked that's all. I was a little jumpy. Sorry I woke you."
"No don't worry about it. It's okay," he said as he kissed her cheek.
She could tell Fitz had words for Tommy, so she quickly excused herself. "OK well I'm going up to get ready for work," she said as she walked away from him to the stairs and began the climb back to his bedroom.
When she was out of earshot, Tommy grinned at him and excitedly said, "Fitz, man I am so sorry about that. I didn't expect you to have a girl here and much less HER. That is so cool. Congratulations, man."
"Shut up Tommy, get your clothes on so you can leave," Fitz said and as he walked back to the stairs he called out and said, "You're cleaning up the glass AND you're giving me my key back." Kicking his siblings out of his house was becoming a regular habit with him.
XXXXXX
"I brought you this…thank you for last night," Olivia said as she sat a cup of coffee on his desk in front of him.
"Why are you thanking me?" he said eyeing her suspiciously. He knew something was coming afterward that he needed to brace himself for.
She sighed dramatically. "I want to make sure you understand why I may be a little different at work than I am with you at other times. I have to be more reserved and professional here…I don't want people to know about us, not yet at least. I don't want to go through the comments, gossip and insinuations that you got me this job because I slept with you…I don't want that. I'd find a way to leave before I had to endure that."
Although he couldn't imagine anyone drawing that conclusion, Fitz understood her concern. She had worked hard for her career and didn't want it all tarnished by rumors of sexual favors being given. Still he didn't like having to hide their relationship either. He knew that things were different between men and women in the workplace, while he wouldn't have to worry about the negative feedback; she would – it was unjust, sexist and stupid but it was reality.
"I understand Livvy, everything at work is professional, above board, I promise. What happens after work though I can't promise the same," he said with a half-smile.
She smiled back, "I wouldn't want you to."
A knock came to the door and Cyrus poked his head in. "Hey you two, Liv, can I talk to Fitz for a minute."
"Sure, no problem, I will see you both later," Olivia cast one look back at Fitz before leaving.
"What's up Cy?"
Cyrus took a seat and began, "Listen Fitz, you know I don't beat around the bush, I'm very direct, so I'll just tell you," he took a deep breath before continuing, "I got a call from HR, they have this ethics violation complaint they are investigating and your name came up…Now I'm sure it will all blow over as some type of mix up or mistake but in the meantime, you need to be prepared to be called into an interview with an employee investigator."
Fitz chuckled nervously; this had to be some type of joke. "What are you talking about Cy? What kind of ethics violation?"
"A sexual harassment complaint has been filed against you. The accuser alleges that she was told that if she slept with you, she would be guaranteed Liv's spot on the RAWW articles. She says she slept with you but you still gave it to Liv and now she feels like she was used by you. It was classic quid pro quo."
"That's a damned lie Cyrus and you know it. You know that's not me, I would never; I could never do something like that. Who is it? Who is saying it?" he was furious, trying to think of who would say that about him. He wanted to face his accuser; to confront this ridiculous accusation and shut down the investigation with the truth.
"Fitz, it's Amanda Tanner….and…..she claims that she has proof."
(OK I admit this was really long and a lot of things happened in this chapter. I toyed with the idea of breaking it up into two chapters but I thought that would be no fun. So I hope you liked it but even if you didn't, I hope you will tell me what you didn't like about it:))