Sorry, very long update. I know... i've been very busy with college and when i found a little time for myself i discovered 'fiction press' and i've started a story there. By the way if you are curious you can check it out. I have the same pen name "supergirl waiting for reamonn" and the story is "Punk and other love song".

-ItsShuhei, saiya-jinPan140, ra7matigorti2,teshichan, Hekka, Rndd, B000097z, tituslepetitlion, andyantopia thank you for the reviews.

Enjoy!

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Rukia

or the choices that change our lives

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Rukia got up and looked at Ichigo who was sleeping next to her. Then she looked at their clothes, spread around the floor. Now that the moment of folly and magic was gone and she found herself in an awkward situation.

Slowly as she was regaining her rationality, the image of only one man kept appearing in her face:

"Byakuya…" she whispered.

And then she looked again at Ichigo and at her naked body. The hour was late, but she knew that it was one of the moments in which she had make choice… one that was going to change the rest of her life. The moment was important and somehow it was reminding her of the day she entered the Kuchiki clan.

"Byakuya…" she whispered again and turned her face away from Ichigo.

"When Ichigo came inside me I felt like something was slicing me open, looking lustfully and desperately to undress me from all my secrets. I've never let anyone to get that close to me before, because it scared the thought of being discovered. So I yelled since it was so painful to give away all my barriers and all the walls behind which I felt safe. Lonely, but safe. I yelled so much, but then Ichigo came into me and my screams were cut off. With Ichigo being part of my body and my soul, I was no longer alone. I was no longer sad. My world was no longer grey. There were no walls built from my misery to protect me anymore. It was only Ichigo. It was only him and his warm body…

This is what I thought when I made love for the first time: It's a lot easier when you are no longer alone. Being with someone allows you to give in. It gives you the right of being week.

His arms around me seemed to tell me: " You no longer have to try so hard to be strong, because I am here to protect you."

His lips on mine were like whispering: "You don't have to name your feelings because I know them so well. They're mine as much as they are yours."

Him, inside me was like a scream turning my skin into goose bumps: "You know everything about me, because now we are one!"

That's how I felt Ichigo when I made love for the first time.

And that made me think in my life it all happened with a reason.

Maybe Hisana was married to Byakuya so he could adopt me into his clan and arrange me to enter in the 13th Division. I supposed to be assigned under that squat so I can meet Kaien-dono. I was needed to care about him and never allow myself to forget the way he died so when I was supposed to meet the orange haired teenager that was looking like him, to not let him sleep through my finders.

All that happened in my life was like a web of events meant to lead me into meeting Ichigo. I'm sure of it, because after that, all my life was more or less about him. I guess I must have loved him before I knew I was in love…

Now that I can finally admit this, I fell like reliving myself from a heavy burden. Now that I'm finally admitting this, I must also make a choice…"

"Byakuya…"

"Kuchiki Byakuya fascinated me from the beginning and feelings would have blossom in my heart if he would have noticed me, before Ichigo came into our lives. I could say that for a while i waited for him to pay me attention, but when Ichigo opened his eyes it was already too late. I already found in Ichigo all that Byakuya couldn't offer me.

And yet… when Byakuya bowed in front of me and asked me to be his wife, I said yes. In that moment I was heartbroken, thinking that Ichigo was marrying Inoue and I needed consolation. Yet none of these reasons made say "yes" to Byakuya. The truth is that even though I knew it was too late for us, I was still fascinated with his character. There was a part of me that was still yearning to be near him. It was that part that felt at ease around him. It was the calm and rational side of me. When I accepted Byakuya's proposal, Ichigo was far away and without him around, I really wanted to marry Byakuya.

So this is the ultimate truth and curse of my heart:

I love Ichigo, but I love Byakuya, as well. The only difference is that I can control my feelings toward Byakuya while I can't do the same thing when it comes to Ichigo. Even though it's folly, Ichigo and I, we were supposed to happen and the fact that I'm laying naked next to him is the proof of this fact. I guess that if Ichigo didn't existed, than I would have madly fall in love with Byakuya and only Byakuya…

With this, I officially turned and disgraceful and trivial person, but lying to myself it became a burned I can no longer bear. I can't have them both nor play with their feeling just because I'm not able to make the right choice!

But what is a right choice and who makes it? The heart? The sense of responsibly?

My heart calls for Ichigo, my duty calls me back home, next to Byakuya… Which one should I listen, when all my life I was raised to obey the rules? "

Rukia looked again at Ichigo. This time it was an intense glare. It lasted for a couple of seconds then she got off the bed and dressed quickly.

"My life before meeting Ichigo was about obeying the rules and not letting my feelings transpire in front of the others. My life after meeting Ichigo was about breaking systematically all the rules, while dealing with uncontrollable feelings.

Today I have to deal with the rules and my feelings once more."

She put her zori slippers on approached the table on which a notebook and a biro with the label of the hotel were put. She ripped one page of the notebook and begun to write…

"While writing the note, I stopped for a second and looked at the electronic watch on the bedside. It was almost 5 o'clock in the morning. I wondered myself, why does all my awkward moments concerning Ichigo happens always around this hour?

5 o'clock in the morning. For sleeping it might be too late, while for waking up it might be too early. Such an ambiguous moment… just like my relation with Ichigo. We were always too early or too late, but never on time. I guess now I have to stop all this."

She took the note and left it on the bedside, next to Ichigo. After that she silently headed to the door.

"This moment it's one of those meant to change my life. Somehow it reminds of the day I was adopted by the Kuchiki clan. Back then I never thought I would live to see the day I will the Kuchiki manor, along with its name, but apparently I did…"

Rukia closed the door, leaving behind only a note in which it was written:

"Don't worry, I'm not gone. I just have some urgent matters to deal with. I'll be back before noon so I'll see you at home. Soon!"

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Rukia shunpo-ed as fast as she could. She was full of adrenaline and determinations so she wanted to end it this story before she'll start having second thought.

It was 5 am. Byakuya usually wakes up at 6 and he's serving breakfast around 7. She could speak to him after breakfast. That meant 7.30. She will wait for him in front of this study and the conversation will not take more than a few minutes. She knew Byakuya very well and he was not a man of many words. After the hardest part will pass it will take her around half an hour to pack all her belongings. Her estimation was that she would be able to leave the manor and head to the 13th Division's headquarters around 8.30.

Once arrived at the office it will take her 15 minutes to write her resignation. Dealing with her Ukitake on the resignation matter … somewhere between 2 and 3 hours. Waiting for a hell butterfly, another hour. All in all she was planning to be back in Karakura around 12. With a little luck, given that Ichigo usually wakes up at noon, she could have returned before he'll wake up.

So she had to end this quick!

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So she finally made her choice. Now let's see how she will deal with Byakuya... and if she will be back in time...

Merry Christmas everyone!