A/N: Wow! Okay, I've been getting email alerts like crazy regarding this story. I can't believe how many of you added this fic to your favorites. Thank you so much! Please enjoy this new chapter!

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Chapter Eight: Despair

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It was warm in front of the fire, but I tugged my blankets closer around me. No matter what I did, I couldn't rid myself of the coldness that seemed to be rooted deep within me.

Things had been different ever since Kagutsuchi attacked me. From that night on, Sesshoumaru had rarely let me out of his sight. He'd told me that no one could fend off his brother save for himself, so naturally I would be safest at his side.

It made perfect sense, and I was happy to spend so much time with Sesshoumaru, but I still wondered . . .

How long could this go on?

Sesshoumaru couldn't spend every moment protecting me from Kagutsuchi. He had obligations and responsibilities. Ensuring my well-being was costing him, and I hated being a hindrance.

"Kagome?"

I tipped back my head to see the god that currently occupied my thoughts. It was astounding how easily he could sneak up on me. "Hello, Sesshoumaru-dono."

He frowned. "Are we back to formalities, Kagome-san?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry." I managed a smile. "I suppose it just slipped out."

Sesshoumaru nodded and took a seat next to me. "What's troubling you?"

I blinked at him. "Nothing at all. Why would you think that?"

"Kagome." He stared solemnly at me, his golden eyes brooding. "I believe we have already discussed your incapability of lying." He reached for my hand and grasped it gently. "Tell me what has you so upset."

I sighed softly. "I . . . I'm not sure how to put it into words. I just . . I do not understand why I am here. I know I was sacrificed so the people of my village could live but . . ."

"You are wondering why a god would want a human bride."

I looked at him, relieved he understood. "Yes. There are so many beautiful goddesses here. You could have easily chosen one to be your wife."

Sesshoumaru seemed to contemplate this. Then he said, "Have you ever thought, Kagome, that perhaps I did not want a goddess for a bride? That I wanted a human?"

"Well, yes. Otherwise I would not be here." He was still holding my hand, and his touch was making it difficult for me to think. "What I don't understand is why. What's so special about a human?"

Sesshoumaru shook his head, his silver-white hair swinging with the movement. "Not just any human, Kagome. You."

I knew I was gaping like a fool, but I wasn't sure what else to do. "What are you talking about?" I tried to pull my hand back; I might as well have been tugging on a stone statue. "Do not tease me, Sesshoumaru."

"Have you learned nothing about me during your time here?" He chuckled and, to my utter surprise, pulled me closer. "I do not tease, Kagome."

"Well, then stop whatever it is you're doing." I was practically in his lap now. "It makes no sense for you to want me. I am nothing. You are a god.You will be here long after I am gone."

For some reason, this upset him. "Do you think I have not thought of that? Do you think I have not contemplated what my life would be like if you were to die?"

This baffled me. "If? I am going to die someday, Sesshoumaru. You would have me for a short while, but then you would be left alone." I lifted a hand and, ever so gently, touched his face. His skin was unbelievably soft and smooth. "I couldn't do that to you."

His incredible eyes closed at my touch. "And if I were to tell you it would be worth the pain?"

"Sesshoumaru . . ." I didn't understand where our conversation was headed. "You're talking as if you love me."

When he didn't answer, my heart skipped a beat. "Sesshoumaru?"

Slowly, his eyes opened, and the look on his face spoke volumes. "The first time I saw you, you were seventeen." The fingers of his free hand pulled absently at the ends of my hair. "You were so beautiful. I honestly didn't think you were human." His other hand released mine and reached up to cup my cheek. "You were doing laundry in the river. The sun was shining off your hair, and I remember thinking I had never seen hair so black. You were the most breathtaking thing I'd ever seen."

I felt myself flush. "You can't be serious."

Sesshoumaru's lips curved into a smirk. "Indeed. Perhaps it was because I had found something so pure in such a corrupt world. Whatever the reason, I couldn't believe my luck."

While I tittered over his flattery, his voice suddenly turned dark as he continued his story. "But then, when you had finished, you walked up the hill to your house . . . and your father met you at the door."

I stiffened. I knew exactly what day he was talking about. One of my father's shirts had had a stain I couldn't wash out and when I told him, he'd gotten angry.

Sesshoumaru's palm was still holding my cheek. "I wasn't able to hear what was said, but when he backhanded you . . . I've never wanted to kill someone so much in my life."

I smiled. "It's all right. My family life was better than most." I was downplaying the incident, of course, for him. My father was a monster, but I saw no reason to tell Sesshoumaru this. It would only infuriate him.

"That does not excuse him, Kagome." He pulled me closer, wrapping me in his long arms. "For the next week, I watched him abuse you until I could no longer stand it. I started the drought."

"Sesshoumaru . . ." I was speechless . . . and shocked. I had no idea what to say. A god had punished my entire village all because of my father? "Why would you do such a thing? What were you hoping to achieve?"

Silence reigned until he finally replied, "I knew you would be of marrying age soon. The day you turned eighteen, I sent a revelation to one of the village elders. I promised I would end the drought if they provided me with a bride. The most beautiful girl they had to offer. Unsurprisingly, it was you they chose to sacrifice."

I wasn't sure how to feel. Part of me was appalled that he had plagued us with a drought for months just to spite my father. But the other part . . . the other part was amazed that he had gone to such lengths to protect me.

I stared up at him, touched and happy and just a little terrified. "You know, my father didn't attend the marriage procession. He was too preoccupied drowning himself in sake."

Then I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed his lips to mine.

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