Dating Dilemma: The Question of Monogamy
"Open the door Liv…come on, open up." Fitz pleaded through the door.
"No….go away Fitz!"
"Come on Liv….open up. Let me in. I've been standing out here for almost 30 minutes."
"I don't care….and you're interrupting me. Go and find something to do. Just go away and leave me alone!" Josie yelped and whimpered in response to her harsh tone.
"You're scaring Josie."
"I am not!"
"You are too!...I'm not leaving until you open the door."
"Then you're going to have to just stand there because I'm not opening up until I'm ready. And for the last time I'm not ready!"
"Don't be like this Liv…..Liv….Liv."
He stood there watching the closed door. He felt like an idiot but he refused to move. When she didn't respond after 10 minutes he leaned against the opposite wall and sunk down to the floor. Josie immediate jumped into his lap. The minutes ticked on and Josie fell asleep. He could fell his eyes dropping too.
He heard the knob turn and suddenly the door opened. He looked up at her tear-stained face. She sat beside him on the floor and let her head drop to his shoulder. "I didn't expect him to die at the end…He dies….I couldn't stop crying. It was such an amazing story. I love it. I really do."
He released a long breath. He valued her opinion; her opinion was the only one that really mattered. Waiting for her final review of his book was like a slow, drawn out torture. After his constant interruptions and unsolicited commentary, she threw him out the room and insisted on reading the rest of the book in private.
"You don't have to say that if you don't…"
"Are you kidding me? That book is beyond anything I could have expected. I knew you were a great writer but it was just….Wow." She paused before asking, "How….how much of it is you?"
"Too much," his sadness touched her.
It was the story of a man growing up with privilege and money but his involvement in the entertainment industry led him to a lascivious lifestyle of drugs, alcohol and unprotected sex. His life spiraled out of control until his tragic death. As Olivia read, the image of Fitz kept popping into her head.
"You've got to have this published Fitz…It's too good for you to hold back on it."
"I don't know Liv…"
She tugged on his arm and put it around her neck so she could snuggle closer to him. "I get it Fitz. You don't want to let your father or Mellie win. You don't want them to feel like that have won or they had some control over you and your decisions."
He was silent, yet thoughtful.
She continued, "But you're already giving them power over you by letting their talk enter your head. This is only about you….just you and what you want to do. No one who writes like you can be content co-writing a two-page dating article in a second-rate magazine. You're too good for this….I know you're worried about the whole writing tour thing but don't…Don't let our relationship cause you to hold off on pursuing your dream Fitz. And don't pretend that you're not the least bit interested in running your father's publishing house. It's a dream opportunity and you should take it.
"I know I was the one who was against it in the beginning but that was before I knew you and before us. I trust you Fitz….I trust us and I trust our love. I want you to pursue this. I want you to do it."
He listened but he didn't respond. The decision was not as easy as she made it seem.
XXXXXX
He gave her credit. She put up a good front. All through dinner she gave him polite smiles and tried to join in the conversations he initiated but he knew her better than that. Something was wrong.
"So how was your shopping day?" Fitz asked casually. He knew if he could just get her talking freely eventually what was on her mind would surface. He continued to put the dishes in the dishwasher while he waited for her reply.
She poured herself another glass of wine and reached in the refrigerator to hand him a beer. "It was good….nice….great. I enjoyed spending time with Lily. I'm glad she invited me to go shopping with her. It was fun."
Lincoln was having a Holiday Party in three days and Lily insisted on taking Olivia shopping for a new dress. It was also a good opportunity for her to buy gifts.
"What did you come back with? What did you get me?" he teased, knowing she would never show him.
She didn't respond and when he turned, he noticed the far off look; she was somewhere else. "Livvy, are you okay?"
She looked at him strangely. "I think we should go away together," she suddenly blurted out.
"What?" the turn in conversation confused him.
"I was online the other day and I saw these great vacation offers. We could go anywhere. Hawaii is great in December. Or we could go to the snow. Do you like the snow?...Let me get my laptop and we could look for something together." She talked a mile a minute and almost skirted past him in a rush to get her laptop but he stopped her.
"Woah….wait. Where did all of this come from?"
Instead of answering his question, her eyes squinted suspiciously. "What…you don't want to go away with me? I thought you would like the idea. I thought it would be fun." Then her tone changed to disappointment. "Nevermind, forget I said anything. I'm going to bed. I'm tired."
Again she tried to move away and again Fitz stopped her. Her mood was shifting too fast and his brain began to hurt. There was so much happening in this conversation that he couldn't quite understand. He couldn't follow her train of thought and everything seemed to lack logic and reasoning. He grabbed his beer and still holding on to her hand, he led her back into the living room. "Sit with me for a minute."
"But…" she began to protest.
"Just a minute Livvy; just a minute."
"Fine." She wasn't pleased by the idea.
He had no idea how or why she became so irritated all of a sudden.
He took her wine glass and sat it on the table and before she could move to sit beside him, he pulled her into his lap. He stared at her, while she kept her eyes focused on the buttons of his shirt.
"So tell me what's really bothering you?"
"It's nothing. I just thought you would like to go away for a little vacation together. I didn't count on you hating the idea."
He kept his voice even and calm. Something told him that they had yet to start the real conversation. "I don't hate the idea, in fact I love it."
She paused. "Great then it's settled." She tried to get up but he held her in place. She sighed in frustration. She wasn't going to get out of this conversation without telling him the truth.
He resumed the soft strokes on her thigh. "Nope. It's not settled because there is something else on your mind and I want to know what it is." She opened her mouth ready to deny it but he cut her off. "Don't say it's nothing. I've been watching you all evening and you're different. I know you and I can tell when something is off. So why don't you just tell me."
After a few minutes, she exhaled and finally said, "I met Christina today…She recognized Lily and came up to us. We had an interesting conversation. She asked about you."
"Oh you met Tina today….OK?" Fitz remained expressionless but somehow he knew that he was headed for something akin to a nuclear fallout.
In the silence, Olivia waited for Fitz to say more and he waited for her to explain.
"So you're not going to explain? You're not going to say anything else to me but 'OK'? Is that it?" She was getting worked up and he still had no clue what he had done to upset her.
"Explain? Explain what?...And I need you to speak in more than one sentence. Talk to me as if I have no idea what's going on in that pretty little head of yours." He tried to keep the conversation lighthearted but she mistook it for him joking and being insensitive to her feelings. It took him by surprise when she jumped up off his lap and she moved too quickly for him to catch her.
She sat on the opposite end of the couch and glared at him. "You want me to say it? Fine…Christina or Tina, as you call her," she mocked, "was your fuck buddy, right?"
"My what?...Who told you that?" It was a combination of a delay tactic and an attempt to change the topic. He didn't want to go down this road; it wouldn't end well for either of them.
"No one had to tell me that Fitz. I can tell when a woman has had an intimate relationship with a man. It was clear when she asked about you and spent 15 minutes talking about how much she missed you; how she needed to call you so you could catch up on old times….yadda…yadda….yadda."
He continued to look at her in confusion.
"Are you saying it's not true?" she demanded.
"It depends on how you define "fuck buddies"."
"Oh come on Fitz. Don't play me with words. I'm not an idiot. We agreed to be honest with each other and I'm asking you to be honest with me. What was your relationship with Tina?" Every time Olivia said her name she wanted to cringe. Tina looked like a stripper; everything about her screamed "fuck me".
Fitz knew he couldn't win; there was no way to salvage this conversation. No matter what he said, the truth or a lie, Olivia would be hurt. She would take it personal. Normally, he would avoid discussing his past relationships but he wanted Olivia to trust him and he knew if that if he didn't tell her the truth she would continue to be suspicious of him.
He put his hands to his face, almost as if he was praying for divine intervention. "Tina and I met a long time ago. We never had a formalized relationship; there was no commitment on either side. She was just….fun to hang around. And when she was available and I was available we would hook up from time to time."
There was a fleeting look of disgust on her face but before she could correct it, he saw it. He closed his eyes, knowing that this was the moment; this was the beginning of when she would start to look at him differently.
The interrogation continued. "This was before, during or after Mellie?"
"Before and during. You are the only one after," he said without hesitation.
"Was Tina the only one?"
"No."
She visibly flinched. "So….so let me get this straight. While you were in a committed relationship with Mellie, you were still screwing around with multiple women?"
When she phrased it like that, the realization hit square in the face. He saw himself through her eyes and it disturbed him. He could only imagine what she was calling him in her mind; 'man-whore' was likely at the top of the list.
The question was rhetorical and didn't require an answer.
"I remember you telling me that you didn't use women; when you were in a relationship, you were IN a relationship. I understood that to mean that you were committed to Mellie and you didn't cheat on her. Was I wrong to assume that?" her tone was accusatory. No matter what she personally thought of Mellie, how Fitz behaved during their relationship was telling of his moral character.
Fitz blinked. Of course she had to remember that conversation. He ran his hand over his face because he would have to go into details about his relationship with Mellie. At the time he had no problem with it but now, knowing Olivia, looking at Olivia, watching her disapproving eyes, he felt cheap.
"Let me explain. Mellie and I….we had an understanding. We had an agreement. Mellie was never in love with me and I wasn't in love with her. We both understood our baggage. It was like we found comfort in how screwed up we were….There was never the expectation of fidelity. Each of us could carry on in our personal lives as we saw fit as long as we were discreet; meaning at no time was it supposed to be flaunted or thrown in each other's face.
"I never used any woman. Whomever I was with understood my relationship with Mellie and accepted it. I never offered more than I could give."
Olivia just stared at him. And how was she supposed to believe that all of a sudden he didn't want another relationship under those same terms? Was she supposed to believe that all of a sudden he was ready for a committed, monogamous relationship? Fitz had never been a monogamous relationship in his adult life. She was one of many women that Fitz chased while in a relationship with Mellie. Or had she wantonly chased him? It was no longer clear.
"Have you been tested?" She felt stupid. Why didn't she ask him this question before they started sleeping together?
"Yes I have; more than once. I'm clean Livvy…I would never put you at risk like that. I promise."
"I'm just….I know we never talked in detail about our pasts but I don't know…this was more than I expected and I just need to process it." She was thinking about all the different women he had been with, what they looked like, did she know any of them, were they good in bed and on and on.
"My past is my past Livvy. Please don't hold it against me."
She heard the plea in his voice and knew she was being unfair but she couldn't turn her brain off. "I'm not….I mean I'm trying not to….it's just," she paused and smiled – a fake smile – before continuing. "If I hadn't come along would you still be with Mellie?"
He shrugged in disinterest. He didn't want to discuss his relationship with Mellie. But it didn't seem like he had a choice. "To be honest I never gave it much thought. I never gave Mellie much thought. She was just someone who was….there. The relationship meant more to her than it ever did to me. I do feel bad that she put up with my shit for so long. It was her choice to keep holding on but it was also my fault for stringing her along. The relationship was toxic from beginning to end. I hope you can see that."
Still she said nothing. She looked away, her brows creased in concentration.
"Liv, help me out; I feel like I'm missing something here; like I did something wrong or I'm being penalized for my past."
She couldn't explain because she didn't really know the answer herself. All she knew was that, fair or not, she was starting to doubt Fitz's ability to commit to her long-term. She didn't want him for a moment, a year or two, she saw them as lasting but she could no longer feel confident he could live up to her expectations.
"You didn't do anything wrong Fitz….I'm…I'm just tired. Let's go to bed."
He wanted to press the issue and continue the conversation. He didn't like going to bed with so much unresolved. His past was still upsetting her and he didn't know what to do. How do you fix the past? It was frustrating. He felt helpless as he wordlessly followed her to the bedroom.
Every night they stayed together they made love, but not tonight.
"Goodnight Livvy, I love you."
"Goodnight Fitz, I love you too."
As they resumed their favorite spooning position, they held each other close as was now their custom. But each realized that although their bodies were physically connected, they felt emotionally distanced. If they had seen each other's faces they would have noted the tormented expressions that prevented them both from sleeping well that night.
XXXXXX
She was beyond beautiful. Everything about her – inside and out – was amazing. He adored her – mind, body and soul. She had become his professional partner, his best friend and the love of his life.
"You're stunning Livvy. I am so thankful to have you in my life," he said as he kissed her cheek and escorted her to the car.
"Thank you Fitz," Olivia replied easily. He looked and smelled gorgeous. Her body was automatically responding to his nearness as it had grown accustomed to. But for the past three days, she had been maintaining a safe distance.
They were friendly and cordial at work; nothing appeared out of the norm. But at night, when they would normally have dinner together and stay the night was when she feigned illness – a headache or general tiredness. Eventually, though, she told him that what she needed was space. She needed time and space to sort out her feelings and process everything. Of course, he had no idea what that meant but she admitted that she could not explain it to him either. Fitz honored her wishes, although he remained confused on the standing of their relationship.
Now, though, he was merely thankful that she allowed him to be her date for the party.
"Liv," Fitz began as he broke the silence on the ride to the party, "I don't want to get into a long discussion about everything right now….I mean I know now is not the time but….I have to ask, where are we headed? I mean are you thinking about breaking up with me or what?"
She was genuinely shocked by the question. She knew she had been pushing him away as of late but that was because she needed clarity and she couldn't think when he was near. Him being near meant soul-stirring sex and sex didn't allow her to think; it complicated and muddled her thoughts. "Oh gawd Fitz no…I'm sorry if I made you think that. I don't want to break up with you….I mean unless… unless YOU want to break up…is that what you want?"
"Hell no! That is not what I want. But we haven't talked in days and I'm worried." He alternated nervous glances to her and paying attention to the road.
"I know and I know it's frustrating for you. I'm sorry. We will talk I promise….I want us to be together. I really do. But tonight let's just have a good time together, okay?"
He nodded in agreement. He reached over, grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. He continued holding on to it.
Olivia was quick to change the subject. "So this is a bar….will your sister be okay here?" Lincoln was hosting the party at The Rooftop Bar in Downtown LA.
"Lily knows that she will always be an alcoholic for the rest of her life. She also knows that she has to live her life as normally as possible. She can't continue to avoid places and events because alcohol is being served. But believe me, if she thought it was too much to handle or if it wasn't a good time for her, she would not come. She has learned her limits over time."
Olivia was happy that Fitz made up with his sister. She could tell they had a special relationship and didn't want to see it damaged just because she was dating Lincoln.
When they arrived and Fitz helped her out of the vehicle, he held her back from going inside. On the curb, in public view, as the valet was about to park their vehicle, he turned to her and took her face in his hands. "I love you Livvy. I will always love you…I know we aren't in the best place right now but please hear me when I say: every single part of me belongs to you and only you."
He placed the most chaste, innocent, romantic kiss on her lips and Olivia felt it within the deepest part of her.
XXXXXX
"Olivia…."
Olivia cringed as she recognized that saccharin voice. "Mellie, how are you?"
"Fine…WE are doing fine," Mellie gushed as she brought Jake closer to her side.
Olivia thought they were pathetic. Especially since she knew first hand that their relationship was not all that it seemed being that she and Fitz saw Jake out with another woman at the movies about two weeks ago.
"Great…that's good to hear," Olivia said dismissively, hoping that would be the end of their conversation. But of course it wasn't.
"Jake, would you be a sweetheart and get me a Vodka Cranberry from the bar?" Mellie asked Jake.
"Of course…if you will excuse me ladies," Jake replied but not before giving Olivia a lustful overview that practically made her skin crawl. How had she found him attractive before?
When he was completely out of earshot, Mellie began, "So…tonight you are going to see it all first hand."
Olivia didn't respond; she merely continued to nurse her drink as she looked at the crowd.
The delightful tone in Mellie's voice told her that she wouldn't like what she was about to say anyway. "You are going to see firsthand what it is like being Fitz's girlfriend. What it is like watching more than one woman press their bodies close to his and whisper in his ear begging him for complimentary fuck for old time's sake. You are going to know what it feels like to have women smile in your face while disrespecting your relationship by reminding Fitz of all the fun they had together. You are going to know what it feels like to have a man pretend he's committed to your relationship while looking for the next woman to hook up with after he drops you off at home….That's what it's like being Fitz's girlfriend. So….dear….I sincerely hope you enjoy it. After all you worked so hard to get him."
Mellie took off before Olivia could get a word in edgewise. Although she literally had no words to say because as Mellie was talking, Olivia's eyes went in search of Fitz and low and behold, while he was talking to Lincoln, two gorgeous women came up to him for hugs, kisses on the cheeks. One of which whispered something in his hear and slipped a piece of paper in his pocket. To his credit, Fitz shook it off and, unfazed by the interruption, continued talking to Lincoln.
Olivia looked down at her drink and figured she needed something stronger than the one she had.
XXXXXX
Fitz felt like the Universe was aligned against him. It was clear that he was being persecuted by his past.
When he got a good look at some of the women in the crowd, he took the first opportunity available to pull Lincoln into a private conversation.
"Fitz, I promise if I had known Olivia would have a problem with it I would've been more careful with the guest list. But these are all our friends; practically the same people who come every year."
"Yes but last year I wasn't with Olivia. I was with Mellie and you know Mellie didn't give a rats ass about who I hooked up with….She had hers on the side too."
Fitz took a deep breath and continued, "I'm sorry Linc it's not your fault….it's just bad timing. Olivia is going through this thing where my past keeps being thrown in her face and….I can feel it….She's pulling away from me"
"Why? She knows you have a past. What's the big deal?"
"She knew general information, nothing specific….no details besides Mellie. That is until she met Tina."
"Oh shit….not Tina! Of all women to meet, Tina is the worse. She would make any girlfriend go ballistic." Lincoln remembered Tina vividly; she wasn't the type of woman that you ever forgot. But Tina didn't get invited to functions like these. On more than one occasion she had incited a riot with the women who couldn't trust their boyfriends around her. "And now she's about to meet…This is going to be horrible. I'm sorry Fitz….What do you want to do?"
"There's nothing I can do…I just have to face it and try to convince Olivia that I only want to be with her. That's what people in relationships do, don't they?"
Lincoln shrugged. "Hell if I know. We're in the same boat….committed relationships are new to both of us. Your sister is actually….."Lincoln stopped talking when he noted the scowl forming on Fitz's face. He concluded that the last thing Fitz wanted to discuss was his relationship with Lily. "Well never mind, forget that last part."
XXXXXX
Olivia had never been so happy to see Abby in her life. Alexis and Harrison couldn't attend the party due to a previously scheduled event and Olivia needed reinforcements. She and Fitz danced one time all night. After that, any time they tried to spend together was continuously interrupted. One old male friend of Fitz's after another kept competing for his time; wanting to catch up on one thing or another. Olivia, being the understanding girlfriend, encouraged him to go.
Fitz was hesitant to leave until he could ensure that Lily would stay by her side. But soon, Lily, too, had to momentarily step away for a check-up with her sponsor.
Unfortunately, alone she was open prey for Lisa, Lisa #2, Lisa #3, Becky, Theresa and Michelle who initially congratulated her on convincing Fitz to break free from the "Ice Queen Mellie". But then the conversation turned to subtle and not-so-subtle insinuations about their respective sex lives with Fitz. In the course of these unsolicited discussions she learned how they were all great distractions for Fitz while he was stuck with Mellie.
And when they weren't around, Olivia had to fight off men, including Jake, hitting on her, trying to buy her drinks and take her home for the night.
She was almost drunk, frustrated and irritated with Fitz, who was now nowhere to be found. Her mind started conjuring the worse possible scenarios. Maybe he had rekindled something with one of his old hook-ups.
"Are you drunk?" Abby teased as she asked the bartender for another drink of her own. She was more than happy that David was out of town. David could be a bit of a stiff and she was ready to have a good time.
"I'm getting there, you want to join me?"
Abby laughed out loud. It was rare but she loved it when Olivia was ready to go off the deep end and let loose. "Abso-fucking-lutely….It'll be just like college…."
Fifteen minutes later Abby and Olivia had taken over the dance floor with more than a few guys pressed upon them. Olivia was so buzzed she didn't care who she was dancing with; whose hands were stroking her ass or who she was backed up into. This wasn't her; she couldn't remember the last time she acted this way but it was freeing. She was carefree and she didn't want to think about anything but having fun.
The song changed and everyone shouted in delight; it was a party favorite. Through the crowd, the waitress handed Abby the drink she ordered; she took a gulp and handed the glass to Olivia, who then downed the rest. Olivia rarely ever got drunk and she was reveling in the buzz. Her body almost felt like it could float away.
She was in a zone, enjoying herself immensely until she felt a strong, familiar, firm hand grab her away from the crowd and drag her down the hallway to the manager's office. She struggled to keep up with him in her 5" heels.
Fitz pulled her into the office, closed the door and locked it behind him. His friend was the owner of the bar so Fitz felt safe that he wouldn't be interrupted.
He was so angry his face was flushed red. He couldn't believe he found her in the middle of a group of guys near drunk and dancing like she was.
"What do you think you're doing Fitz? Why are you manhandling me?" Olivia said breathlessly as she tore away from him and retreated to the other side of the office.
"Me!...What am I doing? What the absolute fuck are YOU doing? I come back from meeting with Lincoln and find my girlfriend on the dance floor letting random strange guys grind on her, press their hard-ons on her ass and she's enjoying every minute of it!"
"Calm down Fitz, it was nothing like that…you're exaggerating." Olivia walked over to the manager's refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water. She took a long gulp from it.
Her lack of remorse fueled his anger. "What the hell is the matter with you?"
She slammed the bottle of water down on the desk and matched his anger with her own. "There is nothing wrong with me! I'm fine. I'm perfectly fine. I was fine being left alone practically all night by my boyfriend while six different bitches came up to me. giving me a play by play of their sex-capades with you. By the way, all of them enjoyed fucking you and would appreciate the privilege to do it again. Matter of fact I'm sure we could get one of them in here for you right now, if you like."
"You're being disgusting," he snarled.
She scoffed in disbelief. "I'm being disgusting….I'm being disgusting. You are so full of shit! You knew this party would be filled with all your former fuck-buddies and you still left me alone. You still left me wide open with no warning. So I had my own party; I had my own fun. You had better things to do so I made my own friends," she paused before getting another jab at his ego, "I told Jason I would meet him in the pool in about 10 minutes or it could have been Tony, I'm not sure or maybe it was…."
"You want to stop mentioning names to me right now Olivia," he warned menacingly as he advanced upon her. The look in his eyes and the tone of his voice silenced her momentarily. She knew she could only push him so far but she continued to press the limits.
He cornered her against the wall but she wouldn't back down. She looked up in his eyes and dared, "Or what…what are you going to do?"
Without another word, Fitz captured her lips for a scorching hot, kiss. She pushed against him for all of twenty seconds. She was still mad at him and didn't want to give in so easily. But when she felt his tongue invade her mouth she melted against him. She grabbed a fistful of his hair into her hands, giving a sharp pain to his scalp. He held her face as he pressed harder against her lips, bruising them, not letting her break free or come up for air.
Her moans filled the room as he began sucking her neck and behind her earlobe. There was anger in his touch and it reflected in his voice. But anger was only one emotion removed from passion. "You wanted me to be jealous didn't you Livvy? You wanted me to see them men touching what's mine, didn't you?"
"I…I didn't," she protested through gasps as she felt his hands reach under her dress and roughly pull down her thong panties.
"Don't lie….you did." He toyed with her wetness. She lifted her hips for more but he wouldn't give it to her. At a slow, agonizing pace, he inserted his finger inside her. He nipped at her earlobe before whispering, "You want someone else to touch you like this?…..Tell me!"
"No….please…." Olivia didn't know if it was the alcohol or the intensity of the moment but she had never been so turned on in all her life. She was already circling her hips against his finger and they hadn't even done anything yet. The build-up within her was agonizing and she needed the release. She brought his lips back to hers and kissed him again; wrapping her arms around his neck she held him close, fusing his hard body to hers.
Fitz withdrew his finger and picked her up, bringing her legs around his waist. He backed her up to the desk. With one hand, he cleared the desk of all its contents. She thought he would lay her down on it but was surprised when he lay down on top and brought her knees to the sides of his face. "Don't take your eyes off of me Livvy. If you do I'll stop. Do you understand?"
She bit her lip; speechless in anticipation.
Fitz's tongue went inside her folds and glided up and down one time. Olivia closed her eyes to the bursting sensation; she was throbbing with need. It felt so good to her that she never wanted him to stop, but he did. She opened her eyes to find him staring at her; his blue eyes sparked with fire. "I told you…eyes open….look at me. Do you want me to finish?"
"Yes…..please….Fitz….don't….don't stop."
This time she did what she was told as she felt Fitz push her knees wider, giving him greater access and the clear, unobstructed view was beautiful. He gripped her thighs coercing her into a riding rhythm on his face while his tongue expertly licked, swirled and tasted every inch of her. She couldn't stop the sounds that came from her as she forced her eyes to remain on him. She was loud, very loud but she couldn't hold it in. It was too much to contain.
He stopped two more times when she closed her eyes and she had to shamelessly beg him to continue.
When she could keep the rhythm of movement for herself, Fitz moved his hands to her ass, rebranding her as his, eliminating the touch of strange men. He then inserted two fingers inside her while his tongue swirled and sucked at her clit. He was creating a pattern with his tongue and her body jerked in response. When his tongue delved inside, she whimpered and whined. She watched his pink tongue disappear and move in and out of her velvet center; it was one of the most erotic images she had ever seen. Staring at him heightened her passion; it was as if they were sharing their souls and the magnetic energy transferred between their eyes.
Her body was starting to convulse. She thought she couldn't take anymore and then his tongue went back to feasting on her clit while his fingers dived in and out of her. She shattered.
"Oh…..fuck…Fitz…Fitz….Fitz…..ahhhhhhhh!" She came twice, back to back.
Fitz reached down and unbuckled his pants. He worked his pants and briefs down until his erection sprung free. He then moved her to straddle his torso. In one movement, he impaled himself inside her. Olivia felt like he was deep enough to reach her gut.
His thickness filled her completely, creating a delicious pressure she never experienced with anyone else. She bent down to his face and licked the remnants of her wetness on the side of his mouth. She traced her tongue against his lips. "mmmm, I do taste good, don't I?" she said seductively. Her orgasms had calmed to slight tremors through her body but she was still on a high.
Fitz held her against him, furiously moving in and out of her. He was going so deep he thought he might lose his mind. This time his moan filled the room. "Oh shit….aggggghhhhhhh", he bellowed as he spilled his seed inside her.
She collapsed and sprawled out on his chest, trying to calm her breath to a normal pattern.
XXXXXX
He lost her again. They split up briefly to go to the restrooms to clean up and right their appearance but she must have finished before he did because after asking someone to check for her, they came back and relayed that she was no longer in there.
The party was still going strong. The music was blaring. The drinks were flowing. But Olivia was nowhere to be found.
He went to the open-air area. The fire from the heat lamps and the dimmed lights cast a romantic glow on the outside. Despite the coldness, the rooftop heated pool had a number of guests playfully enjoying themselves. He looked over once and saw Jake cornering a blonde girl named Sarah in the pool. Fitz shook his head but continued his search for Olivia.
When he didn't see her outside, he went back inside. Before long, he felt Mellie press up against his side.
"Fitz," she pouted.
He removed her hands from his person and calmly replied, "Yes Mellie, what do you need?"
She giggled prettily behind her hand. "Oh I can guarantee you don't want to know that. It might hurt your 'precious Olivia's' little feelings."
Fitz sighed in irritation. He didn't have the time or energy for Mellie's games. He started to walk away. She detained him. "Wait!...I need your help getting home. I can't find Jake and I can't drive myself. Can you help me get home, please?"
Fitz rolled his eyes. This was the last thing he needed. He scanned the room for Olivia again and came up empty. Where was she?
He knew he couldn't leave her stranded. "Sure, I'll help you. Let's go."
Mellie was overjoyed. She grabbed his arm and walked out with him.
"Wait right here," Fitz told her as he walked over to the valet attendant.
When he walked back to Mellie, he asked, "Ready?"
She beamed. "Yes and thank you for taking care of me tonight. I'm so thankful to have you."
Fitz led her to the cab on the curb. Mellie thought it strange that they were not getting in his car but figured maybe he was bit intoxicated and didn't want to risk driving himself.
He opened the door for her and escorted her inside. He closed the door behind her and walked around to the other side. Instead of getting in, he gave the driver Mellie's address, gave him a couple of bills and told him he could go. The taxi pulled off and he could see the shocked expression on Mellie's face as she looked back at him through the rear window.
He smiled, feeling good that he outsmarted her. He would be dammed if he gave Mellie any ammunition to further sabotage his relationship with Olivia.
His phone vibrated with a message:
Abby drunk. She was about to go home with a random. Had to leave and get her home safely. Will let you know when I'm home. – Liv
OK but don't text me. CALL ME – Fitz
OK - Liv
XXXXXX
She was laughing hard. And it was the most alluring sound he ever heard. He could spend a lifetime listening to her laugh.
Fitz relayed the incident with Mellie and they both thought it was hilarious.
"I can only imagine the look on her face when she realized you weren't going home with her," Olivia said through her laughter.
"She was pissed," Fitz said easily as she continued to laugh with her.
When the laughter subsided, Fitz spoke again through the phone. This time in a more serious tone.
"I'm sorry about tonight Livvy. I shouldn't have left you alone. I got wrapped up in a conversation with Lincoln and Tommy. I thought you were still with Lily. But still I shouldn't have left you."
"I understand Fitz…I just felt like I had a bulls-eye on my back for all your former lovers. As soon as they found out who I was, I became their target and they couldn't wait to get in my ear about you."
He could only imagine how horrible that was for her. He could understand her anger.
"Do I even want to know what they said about me?"
"No and I don't want to repeat it."
"I know I've said it before but I was a different person back then Liv and I'm never going back to that. I don't want that."
They were both silent; listening to each other breathe through the phone.
"Liv?...Just so you know, I will never be okay with seeing another man's hands on you. I was very close to starting a bar fight over you."
She soaked in his words, a warmth flowing over her body as his possessive tone.
"Fitz…Are you sure you don't know Jake from somewhere?"
"I don't think so why?"
"It's just some of the things he says that makes me think he has it out for you….like he wants to get back at you for something but maybe it's just me overreacting."
"When I was looking for you I saw him in the pool about to hook up with another woman."
"Are you going to tell Mellie?"
"Not my place….so, No."
She paused. "Mmmm, Fitz we need to talk. Not tonight. I can barely focus tonight. But still….."
"Can I see you tomorrow?"
"I'm sorry but I'm going to my Dad's for family dinner."
Fitz said nothing. He wondered when they would get to the stage of their relationship when she would invite him to come with her to the family dinner.
Olivia wondered if Fitz would ever feel comfortable enough to want to come with her to the family dinner.
"OK then I'll see you on Monday….Goodnight Livvy, I love you."
"Goodnight Fitz…I love you too."
XXXXXX
She jumped once, jumped twice, a third jump and then she leapt. Perfect form, lithe body; she plummeted in to the deep recesses of aqua blue liquid coolness.
When Olivia felt the rush of water gliding across her skin everything in her world suddenly righted itself – even if it was only for the next 30-45 minutes.
She didn't have to think about what to do, what routine to follow; her body instinctively knew how to move through the water; when to press forward, when to release, when to push off and when to pause for air.
The water blocked out all sound. She knew other swimmers were in the Olympic-size pool but everyone followed the unwritten rule to stay in their lane.
Something about the water stimulated her brain cells and she had clarity. The fog that had been building in her head about Fitz was finally starting to dissipate.
"Are you following me?" Fitz said jokingly.
When she saw him, Olivia smiled brightly. She chuckled as she saw him walk upon her, toweling himself off. Apparently, they had the same idea for Monday morning – get in a vigorous swim before work.
"I could ask you the same thing," she teased.
"Did you see the photos?" Fitz asked as he continued to towel dry his hair.
"I did….What did you think?" The photos from their shoot were released and teaser pics were up on the magazine's Facebook page and Instagram with links on Twitter.
"I thought you looked incredible, unbelievable." He wasn't exaggerating; he lost track of time just staring at her picture.
"I don't know about that….All I saw was you," she countered genuinely.
They stood on the side of the pool staring at each other; so much to say that silence and facial expressions could never fully communicate. But what they knew for certain, what was always glaringly transparent was that they missed each other. Olivia's hands itched to touch him, run her hands down his bare chest. Fitz longed to kiss her, send his tongue through her slightly parted full lips. Neither made a move.
"Well, I guess we better go…." She started to walk toward the dressing room.
He caught her arm. "Liv…if you had known everything up front….if you had known about my past, would we have ever gotten together?" It was the question that afflicted him repeatedly on Sunday.
She looked away. Sadly, she couldn't truthfully give him the right response. On paper, if all the facts about Fitz's life were revealed to her from the beginning, he definitely would not have been her type. In fact, she would have avoided him like the plague.
"I….I don't know Fitz. I wish I could say yes but I just don't know."
XXXXXX
"Charlotte McGee but please call me Charlie. It's very nice to meet you. And you are Olivia and Fitz." The middle-aged woman with bright red hair cheerfully greeted both of them as they came into the conference room.
Olivia and Fitz tentatively walked in and sat across from the woman. They had no idea why they were here. Quinn relayed a message from Cyrus to meet in the conference room first thing in the morning.
"So...I've read your dating column and while I thought it was good it was the pictures that sold me. The photo shoot of you two was beyond beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off of it…simply breathtaking. Brilliant idea to put your faces out there; it would be a waste not to take advantage of such a beautiful couple. Sex is what sells and you two scream nothing but sex. So…tell me are you dating each other; a real couple? Is it a secret? Does the magazine frown on that? People can be such prudes with all their rules and restrictions on sex. Don't you agree?"
She spoke so rapidly, they had no idea what to say in response.
"Ms. McGee," Fitz began.
"Charlie…I insist you call me Charlie," she corrected eagerly.
"Okay…Charlie. Excuse my rudeness, but Olivia and I have no idea who you are or why we are meeting with you today. We were told that we were meeting Cyrus."
"Cyrus is running late. And I was here early. So….It's no matter. I can explain. I run an adult website called "Stolen Moments"," noting the shock on their faces, she quickly clarified, "Not a porn site but a dating website. It is for adults, married or committed adults, who are looking for other committed adults with matching sexual desires. Desires that cannot be fulfilled with their life-partners."
Once again Olivia and Fitz were at a loss for words.
Charlie smiled and continued. "So, Cyrus called me up and asked me to do a sit down with both of you. I can give you some background information about my site and figure out what we want to write for the magazine. Does that sound good?"
"So….let me get this straight. You….or your site helps people cheat on their partners?" Olivia tried to sound neutral but she was failing at it. She didn't want to offend the woman but the entire idea was preposterous.
"In layman's terms….yes. Many people find comfort in knowing that each person is already in a committed relationship and therefore the expectation of a continued involvement is lessened or non-existent. People can be who they want, what they want, without judgment, consequences and repercussions."
"But that's only because their partners don't know about the cheating, right?" Olivia challenged.
"True…but we pride ourselves on the protection of anonymity."
"And how many people are signed up on your site?"
"Last count was approximately 15,000 across the country but we are growing by leaps and bounds daily. Word is really getting out," she concluded proudly.
"I'm not trying to offend you but I have to ask, what is so wrong with monogamy?"
Charlie laughed. "I don't believe in it."
Olivia scoffed. "You don't believe in it. What does that mean?"
"It means that I think monogamy is unnatural and abnormal….Look, I know this may come as a shock to you but the idea of being with only one other person for the rest of your life is unreasonable, not to mention boring."
Fitz groaned inwardly. It was confirmed, the Universe was definitely aligned against him. How in the hell did they get this assignment?
"I can see you are still having difficulty with this concept and that's okay. Society makes us believe that having one life partner is the moral standard that we must all achieve. But they are wrong. All relationships require a level of openness. It allows for our sexual freedom to explore pleasures that other people can possibly give….Humor me for a moment, let's test out my theory. Close your eyes….both of you, close your eyes for me please."
Olivia and Fitz looked at each other before complying with her request.
"Now think back to the coffee shop you went to recently, that bar, that party you went to with your friends or any other random place. You saw someone there you never met before, a perfect stranger. They were attractive, extremely attractive and you could feel your body react to their presence. Think about it, focus on that person." She waited several minutes before saying, "Now open your eyes."
Charlie smiled. "You see how quickly you can fantasize about an attractive stranger. Its fine, we all do it. It just means that we all need to be able to feel a connection with a variety of different people. It proves that monogamy is not natural. And it hinders our sexual growth."
Charlie read their expressions and inwardly squealed in delight. This was going to be fun.
(A/N: It's back! LOL. Thanks for all who sent personal messages to me requesting this comeback. It helped. I hope it lived up to your expectations. Would love to hear your thoughts, predictions and feedback. The Scandal motivation is slowly creeping back...YAY. Thanks again for reading and most of all thank you for your patience.)