A.N: Again, thank you everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter! Hope you enjoy this one too!
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Chapter Thirteen: Unlucky
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After my confrontation with Kagutsuchi, I hid myself in my room for the rest of the day.
The tears wouldn't stop. They raced down my cheeks in twin rivulets, coating my skin with salt. There was no point in wiping them away, anyhow. I didn't foresee myself calming down for quite some time.
I could hardly see how it could become any worse . . . until Sesshoumaru tapped lightly on the thin screen door.
I knew it was him, even through my tears. I'd recognize that silhouette anywhere.
He'd already been by once before, worried when he hadn't seen me at breakfast. His concern was heartwarming, and I'd felt awful lying to him, telling him I didn't feel well. From the rasping tone of my voice, he'd actually believed me, and consented to letting me be when I asked him to.
Now, though, I knew he wouldn't be as easily dissuaded.
Swiping quickly at my face, I tried to make myself as presentable as possible before he slid the door open. "Kagome?"
I was sitting on my bed, and kept my back facing him. "You shouldn't be in here," I told him, my voice cracking from crying. "What if I make you sick?"
He chuckled softly; the sound made my heart ache. "Is that why you've been hiding all day?" the floorboards creaked, and then I felt his fingers sift through my hair. "You're surrounded by gods, Kagome. Human illnesses do not affect us."
I silently cursed myself. I should've thought of that! "I guess I haven't been thinking clearly," I said, and threw a weak, self-mocking laugh in for his benefit. "I'm sorry."
He lowered himself next to me, and I moved my head, using my hair as a curtain. I couldn't let him see the puffiness of my face or the redness of my eyes. "Kagome," he murmured, and I saw him raise a hand as if to brush my hair away. "Tell me what's wrong."
"I . . . I just do not want you to see me right now." I managed another small giggle. "I look rather worse for the wear."
"That's not what I mean." His palms rested on my shoulders, and I was instantaneously reminded of Kagutsuchi. I bit back another sob. "This is more than sickness."
Oh, he had no idea how right he was. "Well . . . if it's all right, I'd rather not talk about it now." It was true enough. While part of me yearned to tell him everything, the other balked at the thought.
Thankfully, he decided not to press me. "If that's what you want." He wrapped me in his arms and hugged me gingerly from behind. "I'll see you in the morning."
Morning? I risked a glance out the window. It was past dusk, and stars were beginning to wink out from the velvety blackness of the night sky. "Yes," I answered. "I'll see you in the morning."
Once he'd finally gone, I collapsed and dissolved into tears again. Before now, I hadn't been sure how strong my feelings for Sesshoumaru were. I cared for him deeply, of course, but I wasn't sure if it was love.
But now, there was no doubt in my mind.
So I cried. For him, for me, for both of us. For the pain I would cause once I was gone, and for all the things we would never have. Perhaps we would've had children: a little dark-haired, golden-eyed boy or a blue-eyed, silver-haired girl.
Either way, it didn't matter now. Lady Luck was no longer smiling on me, and all the things I'd hoped for, or hadn't thought of until now, would never come to be.
And, distraught as I was, I never saw the familiar silhouette outside my door.
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A/N: A little glimpse into Kagome's thoughts and feelings. Will she break down and spill the beans to Sesshoumaru, or do what she thinks is best and leave him behind? Guess we'll have to wait and see!
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