A/N: I realize it has been a while since the last update, for which I'm sorry. I'm leaving for a research trip to Vienna pretty soon (tomorrow), and because of that I had to finish some other work. Suffice to say that even the best planning has no meaning when some experiments fail and have you go through all the work a second time. But, here's chapter 15, finally.

Thanks to dantemalfoy and Lineia for providing comments!

As always, I'd be thankful for some reviews to hear your thoughts!

Warnings: no warnings

Chapter 15: Second chances

Edward was sitting on one of the comfortable chairs in the warm living room of Brad and Angela's house. Winter was progressing steadily, even though it hadn't really snowed as much since that dreadful night. Edward huffed. That was about three or four weeks ago now. Fascinating how time flies sometimes.

He glanced up from his book, looked through the big windows overlooking the front porch and front garden. He had never quite taken an interest to the house or the surroundings, having been so obsessed with his problems all the time. First it was dealing with the initial shock of being thrown out the house, and then it was all the turmoil concerning Jacob.

Right now, though, Edward was feeling surprisingly calm. The sun was shining, and golden rays stroked the soft skin of his face. He closed his eyes, feeling the warm radiance heat his cheeks. A few clouds dotted an otherwise pristine sky; you'd almost think it was spring. He lay back in the chair, putting down the book softly on his lap. He let his head fall back slowly onto the soft headrest of the chair. In that position he savoured the glow of the sun. His eyelids shutting him off from the world, his thoughts went elsewhere.

Four days ago was the last time he had seen or heard from Jacob. He could still hear his booming voice, how he proclaimed he'd call him soon. When would that be, he said; a day or two later, at the most? Four days had gone by, and he had heard nothing. At first, every time Brad's mobile had rung, Edward had jumped up. Like a dog expecting a juicy bone, he had stood aside Brad, hoping it was his boy – and every time, Brad looked back at Edward with a sad smile. Slowly shook his head: I'm sorry Edward is what Brad's eyes were always telling him. Edward would then shuffle back to his chair and slump down onto it.

As the days went past, Edward's enthusiasm for the ringing phone decreased. He was sure Jacob would call at some point – he never abandoned that hope – but he did become less hopeful that it would be anytime soon. As he went over recent events, it became increasingly clear to him that he might have taken things too far, too quickly.

Frankly, he had been surprised but how easily Jacob had submitted to him. It's not a trivial thing; giving over control is something many people find frightening, and for good reason. You need to be absolutely sure that your partner has the best intentions at heart for you. You need to be sure he won't abuse you, won't hurt you without your consent, will respect your safe word; will respect your boundaries. They had never talked about any of these things beforehand. If anything, it only underlines Jacob's inexperience, but he wasn't to blame. No, Edward, as the more experienced party, should have been the one to call Jacob back from his enthusiasm; should have been the sane one. Instead, his horniness and inferiority complex had lurched at the chance for intimacy with this untimely hot boy. Now, he paid dearly for his mistake.

Trust is paramount. Without it, Dominance and submission doesn't work – ever. If the submissive can't trust his Dom, or Master, then that's the end. What reason had Edward ever given Jacob to trust him? Jake had said it himself: hot sex is not a reason to trust somebody, yet that was the only act of kindness Edward had given the young native. As a Dom, Edward had to stand strong, protect his sub from all manner of injury. That's both emotional and physical.

Edward had let Jacob get hurt twice. Both physically and emotionally; the car accident and the argument with Billy.

Edward had failed miserably. His failure was so huge and irrevocable, that he wasn't even sure why he still maintained hope that Jacob would ever call him again. He felt sick in his stomach, a sense of dread pervading his bones.

It occurred to Edward that he had been going about his Dominance in entirely the wrong way too, and as the thoughts milled around in his angry head, he realized some rather important things: the concept of respect.

Edward dug deep in his memories. He had always found Jacob startlingly beautiful. Thinking of his muscled back and bulging biceps, he could feel his cock twitch in excitement. The head nervously bumped against the fabric of his baggy jeans as it tried to break out of its textile prison. Edward produced a strained moan as he touched his dick carefully. Fortunately he was the only one in the living room; otherwise he'd have to run upstairs for a moment. Be it as it may, his mind was not into sex; he wasn't horny at all and frankly he was annoyed by the speed with which his cock went into erection. Battling his arousal he produced vivid imagery of broccoli: usually it helped in deflating his rigid wood, and this time was no exception.

Yes, both his mind and his body had a particularly sensitive reaction to Jacob's form, but he only now realized that he hadn't truly considered anything more than just that. Edward sighed as he looked over his book and out the window. It was exactly as the pup had said: there was no love here, only lust, and lust is not enough to fuel anything but the occasional hook-up. Frowning he shifted his gaze back to the book, but all he saw was a blank page; he really couldn't concentrate on those words now.

Reminded by what Billy had called Jake and him, he had searched around Brad and Angela's house. When he couldn't find the particular book, he asked Angela, who quickly managed to find it: Romeo and Juliet, a beautiful, gold-adorned edition from 1923, given to her by her grandfather. She recalled how he had told her about it when he gave it to her as a Christmas present, back when he was alive. She had shaken her head sadly, but smiled when she saw Edward's eagerness to read the famous play.

Now here he was, several days later, at page 20 of god knows how many. Every time he attempted to read, the chiselled face of Jacob swivelled through his vision, deflating his thrumming heart with sad anxiety.

That had been the root of the problem, Edward finally appreciated: he had used Jacob. Used that beautiful ass, enjoyed that warm and damp mouth; benefitted from every inch of skin and every ounce of body weight that had lain squirming and wailing at his feet, those few nights ago.

Edward sadly shook his head while deep in his thoughts, for he had taken so much from the native, without giving back enough. If only Jacob would call, at least he could talk and explain; make him understand that he appreciated what he had done wrong, and would do better in the future! And now, of course, Jake was with Embry, fishing together with his father. Edward could already picture the two of them, sitting in the boat…

Jake at one end, Embry at the other. Jake stands up, making the boat wobble as he carefully shuffles to a picnic basket in the middle of the boat. He stumbles, almost falls, but regains his balance and makes it to the basket. Takes out a sandwich, throws it to Embry; he misses. Pouting, Embry sees his food end up at the bottom of the lake. He stands up with a mischievous grin. Walks over to Jake, punches his shoulder. Jake grins foolishly and punches Embry's back. Like two young wolves, they jostle childishly in the unstable boat and the boat topples. Drenched, they resurface, smiling innocently, laughing, making gurgling sounds from the water in their throats. They make eye contact. The forest is silent, save for the birds.

And Jacob is happy.

Edward shuddered at the thought. No way he could let that happen! He would fight tooth and nail to get his pup back. He'd go to the end of the world to get that ass again, and…

Edward stopped himself. I'm doing it again, he thought, eyes widening in the grasp of his own embarrassment. I'm thinking only about myself again. He looked back at the book, realizing his gaze had aimlessly wandered back to the void outside the window.

Romeo and Juliet: they were truly in love. He blinked a few times, cupping his chin thoughtfully, trying to understand his feelings for the native. 'Love is something one develops', his mother always told him. The physical attraction between him and Jacob was undeniable, but was there love? It was a silly question though: how could they even love each other? They had had sex twice now, but had never taken the time to learn about each other, taken the time to appreciate what they had, or perhaps could have. Maybe a relationship, in whatever form it was, wasn't even feasible. They'd have to wait and see, but first and foremost, they'd have to –

Edward's thoughts were interrupted: somewhere in the house Brad's phone rung. Unlike all the standard ringtones, Brad had opted for chirping birds. Edward didn't understand it. Sure he loved the sound of birdsong, but not all day, every day. The stereotypical, quasi-nature imitation had started to strain Edward's patience with every time it imposed itself on his hearing. Part of the problem was that the song became more and more associated with disappointment. For how often had he now heard the song without it being Jacob? How often had he trudged back to the sofa in an icy silence, to continue reading his book?

Edward's thoughts were disturbed when he heard the creaking floorboards of the stairs. A heavy thud announced Brad's arrival downstairs, and with a squeak the living room door opened. In it stood Brad, holding his mobile. His face was one of pleasant surprise. His eyes twinkled as he stepped towards Edward. Edward meanwhile had stared at Brad with much less than enthusiasm, but as he saw Brad walk towards him, phone in hand, he couldn't do but get excited. He feebly pointed at himself, nodding at the phone with disbelief pervading his face.

Brad nodded.

A smile immediately breached Edward's face, and soon he found himself lurching out of his seat, pacing towards Brad as he tripped over the carpet and nearly fell onto the floor, face first.

"Be careful!" Brad almost jumped forward in an effort to catch Edward, but he regained himself quickly from his stumble. Eagerly he gripped for the phone, and fortunately Brad was not eager to tease him.

"Jake," Edward whispered into the phone, as if not believing that he'd finally be in contact with the beautiful native again.

"Hey, Edward," came Jake's smooth voice through the receiver. He sounded a bit hesitant, much to Edward's dismay. "How have you been?"

"Fine, fine." Edward sounded hoarse, his croaky voice battling its way out of his arid throat. "You?"

Jacob remained silent for a moment, probably choosing his words carefully. "Been okay," he finally answered, obviously trying to sound casual. Any semblance of informality was thrown out of the window, however, during the awkward silence in which he had picked his words. Through the receiver came a soft sigh.

"Okay Edward, this is not going to be easy, so I'm just going to say it. We need to talk things over. How about I come over to your place?" Edward's heart jumped up: I'm getting a second chance!

"No it's fine, I'll come to the reservation. It's the least I can do."

Jacob mumbled something incoherently, but it sounded like an apathetic "okay". Made Edward feel like he was battling an uphill fight, but he'd try anyway. "See you in a bit, then," he added hesitantly, awaiting Jacob to say anything more. He merely replied with an awkward "Yup", though. They bid each other farewell, and Edward hung up. He turned around to hand the mobile back to Brad, when he saw that he hadn't left the room; he had stood by Edward the entire time. His expression was stern and unimpressed.

"Giving you a hard time, eh?" Brad balanced on his right foot, folding his arms. Edward avoided his piercing gaze. "Yeah, and I can't blame him," he answered wistfully.

"You can't, no, after what happened," Brad admitted rather bluntly. While the comment hurt, Edward liked that about him, though. You never get anywhere with people that only want to please; that lie in order to please you. Such yes-men just stand in the way of perfection.

"So you need a ride, Edward?"

Edward shook his head. "No, it's okay, but thanks. I'll walk to the reservation.

Brad raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You sure? It's an hour's walk, quite a distance and the weather was predicted to turn for the worse later today."

"Nah, it's okay," Edward admitted, and added: "I need some time to think, and the fresh air will probably do me good too."

"Feeling tense about meeting him?" Brad unfolded his arms, only to wrap them around himself, as if he was hugging himself. He frowned at Edward.

"I am a bit, yes. It's just…" He paused for a sec as his head drooped. Lifting his head to look back at Brad, he raised his arm to scratch his forehead casually. As he did so, he raised his eyebrows, carving deep wrinkles in his handsome forehead. He sighed deeply.

"To tell you the truth, I don't know where Jake and I stand. And I'm scared that he is with another guy now."

Brad raised his eyebrows at that. "There's somebody else in his life?"

"I hope not," Edward admitted, shying away from Brad's gaze. He turned around and slumped to the window, eyeing the few clouds that floated meekly across the blue ocean sky. Sighing, he followed them on their trek along the horizon, before looking to see where they were coming from. Noticing the rustling leaves, the wind was coming from the north. Looking in that direction, he saw what Brad had been on about earlier: darkness was coming. Thick clouds, no doubt bearing rain, were drifting slowly towards Forks.

"You see the clouds?"

Startled, Edward rotated to find Brad had come to stand next to him. He was pointing listlessly in the general direction of the moody weather front before grinning at Edward.

"Sure you don't need a ride?" Edward merely shook his head. "Nah, if I get wet it's what I deserve for being such a dick towards Jake," he spoke, and once again sighed a heavy sigh. Brad patted him on the back.

"Oh come on, don't drown in self-pity." He remained silent for a moment before resuming. "I don't exactly know what happened between you two. Frankly, it's none of my business, but I feel Jacob wants you to be strong, though in a caring way. Give him that."

Edward weighed the words as relief washed over him. It all sounded so simple when Brad spoke the words. Probably because he was the strong, caring type himself. And he, Edward? Much more the weak, floundering type. He sighed wistfully.

"You make it sound so easy, man." Brad merely looked him over a minute before he returned his gaze to the dark clouds lining the horizon, setting his hands on his hips. He sighed.

"Look, Edward, these things are never easy. One way in which you definitely won't get what you want is by giving up."

Edward immediately rose to attention at that comment, gazing at Brad with accusing eyes. "I haven't given up on him!"

Brad snorted sarcastically before looking at Edward. "You don't give that impression. You stand here like a sack of potatoes. How is that going to reflect on you, you think?"

Edward returned his gaze guiltily to his feet, fiddling nervously with the buttons of his shirt. Brad started to face Edward. He sighed briefly while he looked the boy in front of him over with a wisp of guilt.

"That was uncalled for Edward, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to convince Jacob that he can trust you." Edward remained quiet for a moment, meanwhile letting go of his shirt's buttons. Brad continued. "I'm not even sure why I have to stand here and lecture you like this, because it seems to me that you are a strong person at heart, and you know damn well what you want. So what are you waiting for?"

Edward couldn't do but feel that Brad was right. He had battled himself out his initial depressions and fears, only to find himself stuck in the mud yet again. What on earth he would do without somebody like Brad now and then he didn't know; somebody to give him a firm push, so he could go on his way again.

That was the hard part: knowing how he had betrayed Jacob's trust, he wanted to make sure that this time he would make now further slip-ups. He needed to be strong; needed to be there for his sub. For he, Edward, was going to take the control, if everything went as he hoped. At that point, he would be responsible not just for his own life, but also that of his sub's. Truly, owning a sub, or slave, was not a trivial pursuit at all, and ownership of a sub or slave should not be taken lightly!

These thoughts had crowded Edward's mind more and more tightly over the last two days, and it made him nervous as hell. He was falling back into a pattern of dependence on other people, which was exactly what he had vowed not to do. How could he care for Jacob if he couldn't care for himself first? Perhaps he ought to stay at home, and not go to the reservation.

Precisely when his thoughts were threatening to take a dark turn, he felt Brad's warm hand weighing heavily on his shoulder. He looked up to see Brad's stern smile, heard him say: "Come on, cheer up. I'll drive you."

Edward merely smiled. With Brad's moral support to have his back, they both walked to the car leisurely. A calm though cold wind made the firm trees sway lightly as the last white tufts of cloud passed by, the threatening darkness of rain on their heels.

Edward stood alone on the deserted sand path to the reservation. He started walking, curiously eyeing the chirping birds that fluttered from tree to tree. With every step he took, he could hear his heart thud louder in his chest, anxiety clutching at his throat.

He was so engrossed with his thoughts that he didn't notice how he had already reached the Black residence. The area was completely quiet, though. Slightly nervous he walked up to the door and knocked, though there was no reply. He knocked again, hoping to hear the heavy steps of Jacob behind the door – Nothing.

Finally Edward stepped back, down the ramp that led up to the front door. He turned around and eyed the door suspiciously before ruffling his hair, looking around in vague disorientation. He decided to walk around the house, maybe he'd find a clue to the place's desertion, but after two rounds he still knew nothing. Seriously disappointed he sat down on the ramp, leaning with his head heavily on his hands.

Quiet laughter suddenly reached him from an edge of the forest, to his right. Immediately he stood up, for he recognized Jake's low bellow, though he wasn't sure whose was the other voice. It was higher pitched, though manly.

Edward stumbled forward, ears pricked in an effort to identify the disquieting second voice. When he approached the house's corner and peeked around it, he saw two guys approaching the house. Both of them wore no more than cut-off pants, the cotton fibres that lined the rims, through which their muscular legs poked out, lazily swaying in the calm winds. Jacob was one of the guys, the other one was…

Embry. A stone dropped inside Edward's stomach that nearly made him tumble backwards with a feeling of sickness. He slouched back to the ramp, waiting for the two guys to confront him in his misery.

Misery?

The word echoed in his head. He shouldn't get into that train of thought yet again. Convincing Jacob was not going to be done by giving up. He ought to keep fighting, prove his worth over that of Embry's. This had been a recurring problem of his, to immediately slump down into thought-blunting negativity that, time on time again –

"Hey, Ed," a voice suddenly spoke next to him. It was heavy and low, but smooth as silk. Edward looked up.

"Jacob," he gulped. The big native, bulging muscles and all, stood right in front of him. He cast an eerie shadow over Edward, making him feel small and insignificant. Next to him stood Embry, looking a little awkward, probably feeling exposed. After all, they were wearing nothing but their cut-off pants. Damp spots on the cold winter earth surrounded the two boys.

They are drenched, Edward thought to himself as he remembered his unwelcome fantasy from earlier.

"You two are drenched, what happened," he asked as innocently as he possibly could, gazing up at the wet body of Jacob. His hair was glistening sensually in the warm sun.

"Cliff-jumping," Jacob answered casually, but threw a candid grin to Embry, who smirked mischievously in return. "Embry thought I wouldn't dare jump in the cold water," swatting Embry boyishly as he spoke. Embry chuckled, evading Jacob's lazy swing with ease and sending a fist flying to Jacob's shoulder. His knuckles hit their target, followed by a quiet groan from Jacob, his mouth curled into a smile at the forceful touch of his peer. Edward merely cleared his throat, causing the two boys to quit their horsing around. Finally Embry took a few steps back as he spoke:

"Right then, I suppose you two have business." He smiled at Jacob, but he couldn't do but have his innocent beam fade away when he set his eyes on Edward, sitting on the ramp and gazing at him moodily. He didn't make the gesture, but Edward could read in Embry's eyes the words: I'm back in the game. His eyes darkening, he intently stared at Embry until Embry swivelled his lean back and set to run off, back to his home.

When Embry had taken his leave, the soft pawing of his shoes in the murky sand fading away amongst the sounds of the forest, Edward and Jacob turned their attention towards each other. Jacob's smile had waned somewhat. He crossed his arms and stared at Edward for a short while. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air, thick and heavy.

"You look good," Edward finally spoke, hoping to sound friendly. His mouth was dry and the words came out croaky. He cleared his throat; "sorry," he said.

"I guess I'm a bit nervous. I'm not entirely sure what to say," Edward admitted. He watched how Jacob tilted his head sideways, raising an eyebrow as he considered Edward's words momentarily.

"I think you know exactly what to say, but you're afraid it will come out wrong." Jacob impaled Edward's thoughts with those disarming words. His stare pierced Edward's heart and soul, and he felt lost in those dark glistening pools that were Jacob's eyes. He shuffled to and fro nervously, not sure where to look. So, he lowered his gaze, shifting his gaze alternately from his fidgety hands to the soft sand at Jacob's feet.

"Jacob, I…" Edward paused. "I don't know where to begin, Jake, there's so much to say."

Jacob scoffed, smirking sarcastically as he laid his eyes on Edward. He was sitting still, enveloped in Jacob's long and dark shadow.

"Indeed there is," Jacob spoke ponderingly. "So I'll start." Edward looked up at him, slightly taken aback by Jacob's initiative. Plus, he thought Jacob would have wanted him to explain himself first. Apparently it wasn't so. He nodded, and kept silent.

His arms still crossed, he drew lines in the sand with his bare feet, head drooped to look down upon them. "My dad made it rather clear to me that he thinks that you are bad news." He shifted his gaze back to Edward, laying his penetrating stare on Edward's pale face. "I don't agree with him, you know." Edward sighed in relief, and a small smile curled his lips.

"Don't look so smug just yet," Jacob retorted, any sign of pleasantness immediately removed from his boyish exterior. Edward returned to look mildly worried.

"Edward, we're both to blame here." He sighed nervously. He had drawn all manner of lines in the sand by now, but no pattern was emerging at all. It was just a confusing jumble of nothingness.

"But it was all my fault, Jake. Why are you denying it?" Edward's words came out rather pathetically, sighing under the heavy weight of guilt.

"See, that's your problem right there, Edward," Jacob answered, his tone of voice harsher than before. "You are rather self-obsessed. All things positive and negative, for some reason everything is always about you in some way or another."

Jacob motioned with his arms in annoyance, his words cutting deep into Edward's soft flesh. He winced at Jacob's retort, seemingly trying to avoid the sharp edges of the blades that were being flung at his head.

"You have to get it into that thick skull of yours that things aren't necessarily about you, and in this case, I carry as much of the blame as you." Jacob crossed his arms again, gently leaning on one leg so that his posture was rather slanted. He looked Edward over with a disapproving glare before he huffed, relaxed his tensed muscles and started pacing back and forth thoughtfully setting his hands in his hips.

"I can tell you what went wrong," he finally spoke. He stopped his pacing and shot a burning gaze to Edward, who in turn stared back at Jacob.

"I know what went wrong," Edward started. "I disrespected you." Guiltily his glance travelled back to the sand, and the jostled lines that Jacob had drawn in it.

"That's certainly part of the equation, yes," Jacob immediately admitted. "It's certainly not all though." He cupped his chin, supporting one arm by leaning it on the other. "I'm the other component. All of this should be based on mutual trust and respect."

Edward nodded, affirming Jacob's statement, who continued: "However, we had neither. We had no mutual respect. You disrespected me, true, but the only reason you did was because I gave you no good reason to respect me."

Edward's ears pricked at those words. He looked at Jacob with a surprised stare. Was the boy now blaming himself?

"What?" Edward looked Jacob over, raising his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Yeah, Edward…. Without even talking anything over, I submitted to you; with the snap of a finger, basically. I completely let myself go in the fantasy. Drowned in it without thinking about it."

Edward considered the words. There was truth to what Jacob said, but it didn't sit well with him. "Perhaps Jake, but that's no reason for me to take advantage of you the way I did.

I walked all over you, taking what I wanted without making sure you were okay along the way." He paused momentarily, sighed sombrely.

"I was no Dom, nor a Master. To be that, you need to not only be firm, but also caring, and I didn't take care of you. Not really, anyway. Sure, I told you to use a safe word, and I hugged you at the hospital, but truth be told, I did that because it felt good to me, not necessarily because I was thinking about making you feel better. I revelled in the feeling of you melting away in my arms." Edward sighed deeply.

"I was only too happy to take a piece of a beautiful ass that was presented to me on a golden platter." He heard Jacob huff in embarrassment and annoyance at those words, but Edward continued nonetheless.

"You know, I was surprised at the ease with which you submitted. I knew you were new to this, and still I just took you. I didn't even think about it that much, my greed veiling my eyes with the red hue of pure lust." Edward sighed and shook his head.

"I should have sat you down, hold you tightly in my arms, and tell you that you were taking it too far, too quickly. I should have told you that you were drowning in your fantasy and you didn't even notice it."

Edward looked up when he noticed Jacob's shadow enveloping him once again. The muscled stud stood right in front of him once again. He crouched down to stare Edward intently in the eyes. "Couldn't have said it better myself," he spoke softly.

"It's entirely true, every word. You should have protected me, Edward, and you didn't." Jacob sighed briefly.

"But then again, you're new to this too, best not forget that." He looked up at Edward with sad eyes and a wry smile. "I think you were probably just as much caught in the fantasy as I was. That's why I'm saying that we're both at fault here, and don't you dare take all the blame."

Edward nodded wearily; spoke "Perhaps." He huffed as he stared up at the sky.

"It's true, Ed. We both didn't really know what we were getting into. We fell for it head over heels, and on top of that you have all this other personal stuff to deal with. I guess you merely wanted to escape real life, search for happiness in this fantasy."

Edward smiled at Jacob's words. They rang very true, and he felt relieved at Jacob's forgiveness, but his smile waned quickly when he remembered the things he had done.

"I guess that I craved control over you because I felt that I had no control over my own life," he mumbled.

"You're right, Jacob, but…" His voice faltered for a moment. "You were there for me, Jake. Knowing the hate your people have for my family and me, you still rushed down to the diner to greet me, to talk to me. That's more than I ever did for you." He sighed mournfully.

"On top of that I crashed your car with you in it, and then I forced you to come out to your dad. Had I been the responsible Master, I would have made sure that none of that would have happened to you." Edward's head drooped as he fidgeted nervously with his hands. Thinking it for days was one thing, but admitting it openly to Jacob was a different thing. Still, it was weirdly quieting to finally let it out.

Jacob snorted softly, a glint of irony pervading his fleeting smile. "Really, what I needed protection of is you, Cullen." His voice was imbued with a heavy irony. He frowned, as if deep in thought, letting his gaze linger on the sand at his feet. Above them a swallow chirped, letting it be carried gracefully on the soft winds.

"You're right, for without me nothing bad would have happened," Edward spoke, sighing heavily at that conclusion. For all the versions he had in mind, waiting for Jacob's call, this was not the version of the talk that he had hoped for. The conclusion was damming.

"Jacob, I'm really sorry for it all. Like you, I had time to think also. I committed the biggest sin possible when it comes to BDSM: I gave you every reason to distrust me."

Jacob sighed. "You are taking all the blame again. Didn't it occur to you that you could put a different spin on this? True, you should have told me that I was going too far, too fast, and thus you probably failed in your protection of me. But that doesn't necessarily mean I need protection from you. It can also mean I needed protection from myself."

Edward cocked an eyebrow: indeed he hadn't thought of it that way yet. He was quite suspired by Jacob's willingness to see things his way, even if it gave Jacob a disadvantage. Jacob's deep sigh brought him back from his thought and he looked at him inquisitively, waiting for him to continue.

"This brings me back to my point about mutual respect. It's not enough that you respect me; I need to respect you and your authority."

Edward huffed. "You don't respect me?"

"Why should I," Jacob asked. "I already said it, man: you often enter this sulking mood in which you blame the world on yourself. You did it again just now. You were all too eager to accept my potential bullshit and shoulder all the blame once again. It really doesn't inspire much confidence." His gaze pierced Edward's for a moment.

Jacob snorted. "You just said it yourself: you lost yourself in the fantasy because you craved the control which you didn't have. But why then, if you wanted it so much, didn't you take control over your life?"

Edward kept silent, Jacob's words churning in his consciousness. "I have no idea, Jake," but when Jake looked at Edward's face, he noticed a glimmer of recognition, as if the sun had breached a layer of clouds that had darkened Edward's mood for a very long time.

Edward continued, a wondering shine emanating from his wet eyes. "This will sound stupid, but I don't think it ever occurred to me to do that; to take control I mean. I just let myself be dragged with life, I guess. I then took control over something that gave control to me willingly. It was easy, there was no struggle." Edward placed his head in his hands, mumbled pathetically: "God, what a wimp."

Jacob patted him on the back softly. "And the sad thing is, you have it in you to take control: you hit your father. You took control in that matter, remember? Just as long as you stop sulking."

Edward nodded wistfully, said: "Yeah, I suppose you are right." Edward huffed: "Brad told me things along much the same lines, you know? I'm sorry, that's –"

"Well damn it, you're doing it again!" Jacob erupted in a bout of irritation when he saw Edward sink back into his usual sulky business, yanking him out of his state of negativity. "Quit apologizing for everything and anything; instead apologize for the things that are actually your fault."

Jacob sighed softly. "Don't you see what you are doing to yourself?" He looked at Edward as he spat out the words. "Jeez man, even now you look at me with those impressed puppy eyes. Man, are you just going to sit there and take this from me? Aren't you angry?"

The words hit home, that was for sure. Edward guiltily ducked Jacob's gaze, remained quiet for a moment, then lifted his stare and muttered: "You're correct about everything. Why would I get angry with you for speaking the truth? I…" and his voice wavered under the construction of new conclusions: "I see now that I don't have an attitude that garners much respect…."

Jacob sighed. "I'm sorry to be so harsh on you Ed. All these points… because of them I'm not sure how to continue with you."

Edward looked at Jake. "You mean you still want to try?"

Jacob gazed back, locking onto Edward's brilliant eyes. Those dark pools mirrored his own image, where he saw a young, native boy without an idea of the world. Meanwhile, Edward saw himself in Jacob's eyes; what he saw was the image of pathetic, self-obsessed wimp. Brad had been right in every word, and Jacob had no reason whatsoever to give him a second chance. Jacob's sigh drew him away from pondering his lowness in the face of the discussed facts.

"Yes, I might, but we need to take it calm and slow, for both our sakes." He sighed again. "There are some conditions that will apply." Edward nodded, feeling relieved.

Jacob pondered his words for a moment, but then he spoke. "First of all, openness all the time, honesty at all costs. We need to talk things through, put the details of my submission and your dominance on paper perhaps. I read that it's normal to make contracts, so I want to draw one up for us."

Edward nodded. "Yeah, I think that might be good." He couldn't do but feel that this approach was rather clinical, but if it would set Jacob's mind at rest, it was worth it. Plus, he would have somewhat of a guide to go by, perhaps restraining his more primitive urges if need be. Jacob continued.

"Good, glad you agree. Top priority is to get trust back in the game." He paused for a moment. "And on that note… there's Embry."

Edward felt a coldness pervade his stomach. With all this talk, speaking of second chances and what not, he had forgotten about Embry. The corners of his mouth glided into a frown. Jacob noticed it, but chose not to speak of it; his eyes betrayed his thoughts though, and he was obviously annoyed by Edward's reaction.

"Thing is, Edward, that in those days…" He stopped short for a moment, finally sighed briefly. "I've gotten to know Embry a lot better. He's a sweet guy, big heart. He's funny, cute, and certainly not a bad sight to behold..." His thoughts wandered off, the sentence hanging aimlessly in the silence that hung between them. He smiled weakly, his gaze fixed on the memories of the drenched boy of an hour ago. A moment passed before he regained himself and cleared his throat.

"What I said still holds true, and that's why I'm giving you a chance now: Embry is terribly sweet, but he's never going to dominate me like you can. He's just not that kind of guy, much more of a romantic than anything else. I doubt he's into BDSM, and if he knew I was into it he might even freak out at the thought of me getting hurt. I think he'll be a great lover, a wonderful, kind-hearted guy for that soft sweetness that I, frankly, do like very much." Jacob let a moment pass before he resumed, and Edward didn't dare interrupt him.

"But that's not enough." Here Jacob assertively switched his gaze back to Edward, who gulped at the sudden confrontation with those dark, glistening eyes. "I can't deny it, Ed. Ever since I tasted a whiff of submission I can't get enough of it. It's transforming into somewhat of a physical need, though I don't understand how it works and why it makes me feel so good."

Edward looked down upon the crouching form in front of him and smirked. He knew exactly what Jacob was talking about. It becomes a bit of an addiction, for submitting can get you into very much of a high. Jacob's continued words interrupted Edward's train of thought though, demanding his attention once more.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to submit to Embry. He's too nice. Which brings me to the other thing." His voice became softer, his prying eyes trailing Edward's hairs to his brows and finally back to those dark pools. "I'm not sure you'll like this," he admitted softly.

"What is it," Edward inquired nervously. Jacob coughed softly.

"I want this thing that we might have to be open. I want to keep seeing Embry, to see what it may become. I know that Doms and Masters usually don't like to share their submissives, so I can appreciate this might be hard for you."

Edward gulped. "Well, you're right about that. I indeed am not that fond of the idea, but if you need it to trust me, then that's what we'll do." He tried to smile, but failed mostly. The corners of his mouth lifted only halfway, so that his beam faltered quickly. Jacob on the other hand seemed most pleased.

"Thanks, I'm glad you understand," he said softly.

"So what happens now?" Edward looked up at Jacob as the latter stood up from his crouched position.

"Well, I should change my pants and dry up a bit. Though the sun has kept me warm, it's still quite cold out here." He walked up the ramp and went to open the door. Before he did so, however, he turned around and stared at Edward, who had also stood up. "I think I should be off then, it's going to rain and I'd like not to be caught in the middle of whatever shower is heading our way."

Jacob smirked. "I can see in your eyes that that's a lie, you know." Edward turned a bit red at the words, for it was absolutely true what Jacob said. Of course he'd rather stay with Jacob; stand outside throughout the night if it changed anything.

"You show restraint. Glad to see you're taking our talk to heart, Ed." He opened the door, but didn't go in yet.

"You free tomorrow?" Edward nodded, and asked "want to look at that contract tomorrow?"

Jacob nodded in reply. "Yeah, if you have the time?"

"That's fine, shall I be here sometime in the afternoon?"

"Yeah. I'll see you then," Jacob spoke.

They greeted each other softly, and Edward turned to walk down the sandy path that would bring him back to the main road. Their talk had been a good one; things seemed clearer now, and it was obvious Edward had work to do; work that began when he arrived at Brad and Angela's.

Edward closed the door with a heavy thud. "Edward," it came calling from the living room. Edward gave an affirmative shout as he slogged to the source of the shout. Inside he found both Brad and Angela, both of which looked at him with a hopeful stare. He recognized it from when they had sat next to his bed, hoping he would tell them about Jacob.

As he stepped inside, they looked at each other, and Brad stood up. What's this all about, Edward thought to himself while he treaded further into the room. Whiny jazz music was coming from the radio.

"Edward, Angela and I have been thinking," Brad stared. Angela nodded in affirmation of her husband's words. "What's up," Edward asked with worry in his eyes, to which Brad merely smiled.

"We would like to invite you to stay with us, for as long as you need."

Edward was stumped. "What? Are you sure?" His voice was a bot hoarse at the surprise of Brad's message.

"Yes, Edward, we'd be happy to have you. The house can feel somewhat empty, and we like having you around," Angela interjected before Brad could speak a word. Her eyes danced with a tinge of happiness and hope.

"Wow, I'm not sure what to say," Edward mumbled, taken aback by this hopeful news. The words of Jacob still freshly imbued in his mind, he wouldn't simply, accept the offer though; not this time. It was time to gain control over his life, time to get things sorted for himself.

"Man, at least let me do something in return, let me pay some form of rent, perhaps?"

Brad looked at Angela with a curious stare. Angela did the same, and she was quick to answer: "No Edward, we want nothing from you. You've got it bad enough the way it is."

And then it finally hit Edward: self-pity.

Something snapped inside Edward's haunted brain as he recognized the downward spiral of self-pity in which he had been trapped for so long: that was the reason that he lost Jacob's respect, the reason that he felt an ever-lasting feeling of paralysis that shut down his will to fight, his will to take control. In all his misery, Jacob had always been his anchor point, and through his depression he had longed for the stud of a native. And now he understood why – he had practically said it himself already: it was the only thing that he could control, the only thing that he knew he could master. Ironically, only because it hadn't put up a fight.

After countless conversations with Jacob and Brad, he finally felt it, as he heard Angela's words. I'm not weak. I'm not poor. I'm allowed to take control, and I can take control if I want to. I just need to…

dare.

The same vigour that brought him back from his depression, that allowed him to see the light previously and had him punch his father in the face, now returned to him. He turned to Angela.

"I'm sorry Angela, but I will not take your offer just like that, not for free, even though I'm eternally grateful for such far-going hospitality. Let me do something in return."

Brad smirked as his gaze travelled from his wife to Edward. He took a few steps forward, laying his heavy hands on Edward's shoulders. He pulled him into a short but rough hug before letting go of the stumbling boy: Edward was a little disoriented. He shook his head and clutched the wall to regain his balance. Brad then spoke, a laugh curling his lips.

"Edward, my man. You'd be most welcome to contribute to our household."

Brad rebalanced himself on his other foot as he grasped Angela's shoulder tightly with joy, shushing her weak verbal rebellion with a motion of his hand. Looking at Edward with piercing gaze and cocking his chin at the boy, he spoke the words that Edward hadn't heard in weeks:

"Welcome home, Edward."