First of all, merry Christmas everybody and I'm sorry for taking ages to come up with a new chapter. Several months ago, my private life hit a surge when I moved from Denmark back to the Netherlands and then to exciting New York City to enter graduate school there. Ever since I've been terrifically busy studying. However, with winter break I found some time to write stuff again. I'll try to wrap up this story ASAP, but I don't want to promise anything.

Thanks to dantemalfoy for providing comments, and I was happy to read all you people's reviews. Keep 'em coming! Many of you hate Embry/Jake; I know that. I did it on purpose. It was necessary in order to get where I had wanted to go all along. Just hang in there, and I think we'll soon enough get to the end that everybody (or most people?) wants.

Warnings: gay kinky sex, drama.

Chapter 19: Back where it all began

The car skidded slightly when Jasper came to a screeching halt in front of their family's home. When Edward stepped out of the car and turned to look at the house, he couldn't do but hesitate. So many dreams had been broken here that it required quite a lot of courage to go back. He wasn't doing this for his own sake though: much to his surprise he was doing it for his mother's; for Jasper's, too. Most of all, though, he wanted to get even with his father once and for all. He had enjoyed that time in the hospital, but before he was done he had been stopped. That guard had grasped his arms and pulled them behind his back. What could he have done against him? He followed the guard's orders and let his father be.

Now, however, there was no guard. There was nobody to stop him.

The sound of Jasper slamming the car door shut brought Edward back from his thoughts. He turned around to look at his brother. He seemed anxious, and he had good reason to be. They looked each other in the eyes and they both understood that tonight their father's tyranny over their family would end.

Edward, on his side, also closed the car door and stepped away. Jasper swiftly locked the car and together they advanced on the house. The pebbles on the driveway made grinding sounds as their shoes pushed them together. It was a feeble but strangely ominous announcement of their arrival at their parent's house. One that hadn't gone unnoticed.

The curtains were drawn in front of all the windows, and behind most of them was a murky darkness. As the band of brothers approached the front door, a light flickered on behind one window. Edward involuntarily stiffened as memories from the depth of his memory made him shiver. A figure appeared behind it, a dark silhouette reminiscent of worse times. The curtain was drawn away, when the shine of a street lantern revealed Edward's sister Alice behind the glass. Edward heaved reluctantly, feeling his heart hammering in his throat with dread. She didn't smile at him, nor did he smile at her.

The light at the front door was turned on, and the door stood ajar. A heavy silence pressed on their shoulders as Jasper worriedly grasped the doorknob and pushed weakly. The door opened with an appalling creaking noise that seemed to last for ages. When the door stood halfway open en the hall seemed clear, James snuck inside. Edward stood outside, hesitating. Jasper turned around and motioned Edward to come forward until finally, with a heavy sigh, Edward set foot into his parental home.

Embry stood in front of Jacob, feeling rather nervous. That evening he had come to Jake's house. Once again his father had gone out, leaving the house quiet and empty. Or so he thought, for Jake had told his father that he'd be going to Gaya with friends. Little did he know that Jacob had invited Embry over for an experiment. And thus Embry found himself in Jacob's house, surrounded by the darkness of the night as the rain clattered on the metal roof.

"What if I try to top you next time?"

Embry remembered his words all too well as he towered over Jacob. Now that he was in the position of the Dominant, though, he wasn't entirely sure what to do. He had started by simply caressing Jacob, slapping him in the face now and again, and commanded Jacob into several positions. Jacob had done everything willingly and without much whining, but Embry saw signs of defiance in his eyes. Now, Jacob lay in front of him, on his stomach, hands tied on his back. His feet were tied as well and protruded upward, linked to the cuffs that held his arms.

Embry looked down on his prey and felt a pang of regret. He saw the muscled back, the thick arms, that wonderful neck. He let his gaze glide over Jacob's firm buttocks and powerful legs, and how it was all tied together. Observing all this he wasn't quite sure what to feel. The sight itself got him excited, but to think he had been the one to do it made him feel a bit sick.

None of this was good, it didn't feel right.

Every time he had slapped Jacob across the face, he felt how his arm had been forced to do it. He had had to focus on the movement, really make sure that it was going to happen. Every inch that his hand flailed through the air, though, he had felt the urge to stop it. And when he finally felt the chilly pang as he hit Jacob's ass cheek or his dazzlingly soft face cheek, he couldn't do but cringe slightly.

Every time he had felt the urge to stop, he had tried to hide it. Every time he winced or cringed at the sight of hurting Jacob, he tried to avert his face, as if he had noticed something interesting on the other side of the room. The only reason he continued was because he knew Jacob liked this, and, to some degree, needed it. He could see the lively twinkle in Jacob's eyes when he was slapped on the ass, and it was obvious by the shine on his face that he loved to be humiliated.

Having done all those domineering stuff, Embry could only stand and look down on Jacob. He knew Jacob didn't want it to end so quickly, and he was probably wondering why Embry had stopped. Maybe he suspected Embry wasn't feeling good about it? Maybe he was silently praying Embry would man up and continue anyway?

Man up, Embry thought. That's the problem, Isn't it?

For Embry it was as if he had found the light. He reveled in his small 'Eureka' moment when it finally dawned on him: Even when he was using Jacob like this, he was not a Dominant at all. No, he had been submissive ever since the scene started, roughly fifteen minutes ago. It seemed crazy, but it was nevertheless the truth: the only reason he had gone ahead with this 'domineering' was to please Jacob. Because pleasing is what Embry liked best, and no matter what, he'd always try to please as much as he could. Thus was the submissive's lot; or at least, the servile sub's lot was like that. And Embry appeared to be one of those.

Embry could never be a Dominant, not in a million years. He had suggested it in the hope that if he dominated Jacob, Jacob would dominate him. And maybe, just maybe, Jacob would like it so much that he would end up being Embry's Master. In turn, Embry would be Jacob's slave. Naked, collared, bound by hands and feet, on a leash and at Jacob's feet.

Unwittingly Embry dropped his hand to touch his fully erect dick, and caressed it slowly as he closed his eyes. Jacob obviously noticed the sudden movement, and smiled to see Embry's excitement. Embry slowly opened his eyes meanwhile and bore his gaze down on Jacob. He saw his smile and realized what it must have looked like. He eyes sprang wide open and he quickly let go of his pulsating limb. He crouched down and sat next to Jacob. He started to free him, much to Jake's dismay.

"What are you doing?" he whispered pleadingly. Embry evaded eye contact and kept rummaging with the cuffs. Jacob could feel how his arms relaxed at their absence.

"I can't do this Jake, I'm sorry." Embry whispered apologetically. Jacob dropped his head to the floor in response, and sighed.

"It's okay, Em. It was too good to be true."

They both stayed silent for a while longer until Embry finished freeing Jacob completely. Finally Jacob sat up, still naked, his dick deflated with disappointment. They stared at each other.

"Let's face it, Em, we're both subs," Jacob spoke slowly. Embry dropped his gaze to the floor and nodded silently. "Yeah," He finally admitted.

"I mean, I can dominate, but… not with you, and I'd rather not dominate at all," Jacob continued. He looked quite miserable, knowing he had failed his friend by this admission. Embry in turn sighed in despair at knowing he couldn't, and didn't want to dominate Jake either.

They were at a stalemate.

They remained silent for a while longer until Jacob suggested they clean themselves up and put some pants on. So they did, after which they proceeded to the kitchen and had a drink. As the evening progressed and the stars slid along the sky, they ended up talking endlessly about their sexuality. Mainly they discussed their submissive tendencies and tried to comprehend what drove them, and what kind of dominance they wanted. Although it took a while, they did reach some conclusion: Jacob clearly needed a more loving, friendly touch. He needed nurturing, guidance, teaching, and patience, mixed in with a good dose of positive support. For Embry it was the other way around. He seemingly liked things rough, he liked an angry Dom and needed to feel pain regularly.

"This was never going to work," Jacob sighed finally. He raised his gaze at Embry, who did the same at him.

"You know what we need, right?" Jacob suddenly asked. Embry looked surprised, and shook his head. "Or, at least, I know what I need," Jaocb admitted with a wince. Again Embry shook his head in surprise.

Jacob sighed before he dared to speak the name.

"Edward," he finally said softly. "Ah," Embry sighed in response. They stayed quiet for a while longer.

"Why do you think he isn't what I need?" Embry finally asked. Jaocb looked him over.

"I don't know that, but…" his voice faltered as he tried to come up with the right words. "Our styles of submission are different, and I'm not sure Edward is the Dom for you."

"Oh," Embry said. "But, you told me of how he dominated you, man… it sounds like much more my style than yours."

Jacob nodded, said "true" breathlessly. "But he changed," he finally reacted. He lamely traced the edge of the kitchen table with his finger, as if lost in thought. "He doesn't seem to want that anymore, or so it seemed when I talked to him last." Embry remained silent, and looked at Jacob.

"I think he's angry with his father. That's the source of all his trouble and frustration. If he deals with that, in one way or another, I bet he'll become a much softer person."

"Maybe you're right," Embry responded solemnly. "So what will we do?"

Jacob raised his gaze from the kitchen table edge and stared at Embry. "Tomorrow morning I will call Edward," he concluded firmly, meanwhile shooting his cellular a hopeful glance.

The wooden planks in the hallway creaked terribly as Edward set foot on them, like the door had done before. James had coaxed him in, sensing his hesitance. Meanwhile James had proceeded to the living room. As Edward had shuffled inside the house and closed the door softly, James had returned to the hallway with a worried look. At that point they heard the quiet sobbing coming from upstairs. Simultaneously they looked up. They made for the stairs and climbed them cautiously. On the landing just one door was open, and it was here that the light was turned on.

Inside was their mother. She was sobbing, just loud enough for them to have heard her from downstairs. She was lying half on the floor, her torso spread over the bed, her face hidden between her arms. Beside her sat Alice, caressing her mother's back softly. As James and Edward barged inside with bewildered looks on their faces, Alice's stare was nothing less than vicious, and her anger was directed solely at Edward.

"How dare you step in here," she hissed violently. The sudden words stirred Esme's attention. She reared her head, still audibly sobbing, and turned around to stare Edward right in the face.

Edward couldn't believe his eyes. For a moment he was transported back to that dreadful night where his father had thrown him out of the house. His mother had looked almost exactly the same. The blue dress, the pale exterior, the dark hair, and the trails of tears flowing down her handsome cheeks. Her eyes were dark and wet with sorrow. Back then, however, the sorrow was against him – now it was with him. This time, her face was not as untouched as it was back then – not the monument of resilient beauty that he remembered. A blue, black circle surrounded her right eye and her trembling upper lip was broken. A Bordeaux red blood trail flowed from her nose to her lips. Her hair was not the ordered, fashionable cut that Edward knew she was so concerned with. Instead, it was a mess.

Edward stood and watched his mother. She had changed so much since he had left. She looked so fragile, almost broken. And still, below all the sadness that was so evident on her face, he noticed an irrevocable pang if happiness stir up the moment she had set her eyes on him. Through her tears her eyes twinkled with an obvious relief and an overwhelming joy tugged on the corners of her mouth. She coughed heavily once or twice before calling out his name.

"Edward…"

The name rang through his head but he couldn't move. He didn't stir a limb.

"Edward," he heard again, through sobs. Alice was dumbstruck, the look on her face one of exasperation and bewilderment. Esme pushed herself away from the bed and made an attempt to get up, but she didn't succeed. Yelping quietly she fell back, eliciting James's first movement since he came into the bedroom of his parents. He lurched forward, missing his mother's body by a hair. She fell down next to the bed, a worrying 'thud' announcing the hit her head made as it hit the carpeted bedroom floor.

"Mother," Alice called as she came to kneel next to her. James did much the same, so that the two siblings sat alongside each other, tending to their broken mother. Edward didn't know what to do. This was his mother, right there, on the floor, but she had been so cruel to him… Yet if what James was saying was true…

"What happened here," Edward asked weakly. His utterance reminded Alice of his presence, prompting her to get up and turn around. Her vicious glare was back. She walked over to him and slapped him square in the face. For a moment Edward was hurled back to how it had all started. A chill ran up along his spine as he took a step back, the strength in that slap propelling him backward. The imprint of his sister's hand tingled sarcastically.

The noise made James turn around to come to his brother's aid. He jumped up and grabbed a hold of Alice, turning her around and yanking her towards him. Now she was the one receiving a vicious stare.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing!" he yelled at her in anger. Surprised by her brother's sudden rage, she shrieked and couldn't help a tear escaping. The contradiction of anger flowing into sudden sorrow in his sister was somewhat surprising, to both Edward and James. James let Alice loose who almost fell down to the floor as well.

"Everything has gone to hell," she sighed ruefully as she regained herself and managed to keep standing. Though soon she slumped down next to her mother, who had turned around to watch her arguing children. While she had stopped sobbing audibly, the trembling of her lip had become more violent and she was squinting her eyes in withheld disappointment, anger and grief. Alice watched her back, and together they were on the verge of crying. All were silent.

"Please," her mother finally whispered. Her eyes rolled around to find Alice's face, and when she found her, she fixed them on her. "He's your bother," she said bitterly, almost inaudibly. She coughed a few times, eliciting James to come over and hold her hand. Esme glanced over at Edward and with her free hand motioned him over weakly.

Edward, while feeling increasingly uncomfortable with everything, could not resist the look on his mother's face. He slumped down next to her, next to his two siblings. He felt a pang of regret as he looked over his mother's hurt features. This woman had given birth to him. That connection was too strong to overcome completely, Edward knew. And maybe James was right. Maybe she truly had regret from the very start. The text messages he had found on his phone were evidence of that fact, even more so than James's word. Maybe she deserved a second chance.

"Mother," he spoke softly. His mother smiled weakly through an onslaught of tears. Her lip trembled. She looked beautiful in her sadness.

"I'm sorry," she whispered almost inaudibly as the grabbed hold of Edward's hand with remarkable strength. "Don't leave again," she pleaded quietly. For Edward it became too much. He snapped and started crying, falling forward, over his mother, to grasp her in a tight embrace. Alice and James looked at them wistfully, but James seemed a lot more pleased than Alice. Still, even she smiled weakly.

After several minutes, wherein the sobbing had died down once again, Edward lifted his body up to look his mother in the eyes. While broken, she was a lot more at rest than she was just fifteen minutes ago. Weak stirrings from his stomach betrayed his happiness at seeing his mother doing a bit better.

"Your father," she spoke after a few moments. Immediately she frowned, inducing pained looks on her siblings faces. Alice looked worried as she glanced over at Edward. He had immediately regained his anger. "Where is he," he hissed quietly.

Alice laid her hand on her mother's forehead and sighed. "He rushed off," she said hesitantly. Edward and James both looked at her with surprise. "Well tell me where he went for fuck's sake," Edward barked at her.

"You're going to kill him," she spoke worriedly, "aren't you?"

"I would like to," Edward said through clenched teeth, "but I won't." Alice still looked unsure. "Even if you don't want to do this for me, at least do it for our mother," he spoke angrily.

Alice glanced back at Esme, lying on the floor, looking back at her with a pleading look. Alice shut her eyes tightly, trembling visibly.

"I hated you for pulling our family apart with your… tendencies," she spoke softly. "But, maybe my anger was misplaced," she continued as her glance met Edward's. She sighed a final time and spoke the relieving words: "Father rushed out to the Quileute reservation."

Edward looked stunned. "What? Why?" He asked in growing confusion.

"Isn't it obvious?" Alice retorted. "He is going to end the madness you started by going to where it all began."

"The madness I started?" Edward replied, unsure where this was going.

Alice nodded. "Yes. He is hoping that everything will go back to normal if only…" and her voice faltered.

"Alice?!" Edward nearly yelled, the tension breaking his patience.

"…if only that native boy you like so much is no more." Alice continued guiltily.

Edward fell silent, couldn't believe what Alice had just said. Was his father truly that crazy? Had he maybe misunderstood his sister?

"What are you saying, Alice?" Edward spoke softly, slowly, his eyes wide-open with bewilderment.

Alice shot her gaze at him with sudden resolve. "Edward," she spoke, "he is going to kill him."

Edward gulped, her words echoing in his mind. He stood up and stepped backward, before turning around and rushing off in silence. James got up also, his look as disturbed as Edward's.

Meanwhile Alice remained with their mother. She caressed her cheeks slowly, helped her sit up and drink a glass of water, sighing as she heard James's car start outside and drive off into the night.