The Something That Ate My Homework

Laven

Chapter Three: I Have Deduced That I Want To Kill You All

Kanda flipped through the pages of one of the hundred books surrounding him. He was researching. Kanda had left the kid on Lavi's dining table. Lavi had something to say about that, but Kanda wasn't really listening. Nor did he really care. He'd have to move the kid, maybe tie him up, when he awoke. What a bother. But he needed the moyashi awake for this…

What was 'this' exactly?

Not even Kanda knew that for sure.

It had taken Timcanpy a longer time than usual to reform.

It must have been person who stepped on him. Tim had sensed odd waves of magic coming from that foot.

It was a rather nice foot, but it stepped on him.

Timcanpy would get revenge from the human whose foot crushed him.

Tim's 'mouth' stretched into a sharp-toothed grin. Revenge.

Oh, and he had to find his human pet too. But Tim's priority was revenge.

Revenge on the foot.

All Timcanpy's against crushing feet revenge quest begin.

Now to find the human and his kidnapper. The foot crusher. With long hair. Timcanpy assumed the kidnapper was female. That helped a bit. And she was wearing all black. She also had an extremely small chest.

Timcanpy flew out of the smashed (from when he was running away from a rather large cat) window, and out in the cold air. Since it had taken him this long to reform, they could be anywhere by then.

But luckily Tim placed a homing device in his pet when they had first met. He didn't want to disappoint Cross human by letting him disappear.

Timcanpy flew towards Allen human, looking down at all the non-pet humans. It was late at night, so few were out, but he didn't watch for too long. These human were boring. It was better when he and Allen human were out shopping, those humans were more interesting. Or at Allen human's school.

Allen human's school was especially interesting; lots of interesting but still dumb humans there. Like that long haired gender confused human. The one with that sword that had chopped him in half plenty of times before.

Though that human friend of Allen's was a rather pretty human.

Even though it was annoying.

Allen awoke, in the boot of a car. Again.

This was getting old. Really old.

He tried to move, but this time he was tied up… And blind folded. And he was still hungry.

This was cruel.

He was hungry enough to eat a whole herd of horses… But he wouldn't, because they were horses. Though he would be willing to eat their weight in food. Perhaps a herd of horses worth of mitarashii dango. Oh, wouldn't that be wonderful… Allen tried to imagine that large an amount of dango. He nearly passed out, then and there.

Such an amount of delicious was unimaginable, heavenly, the sight Allen's mind conjured was amazing, and his mind was rather horrible at these sorts of things. Allen reminded himself to pay his mind a lot for being his mind. The job was difficult, after all.

But then Allen thought again. He realized that was stupid. He'd be paying himself his own money when he was dead. Ludicrous.

But this didn't solve the hunger issue. His stomach growling could probably be heard for hours around; it was that loud… It was a constant reminder, that…

Allen.

Was.

Hungry.

He was so hungry he was about to die. Literally. He could faintly hear the music those sweet food delivery-truck-things played. That means it must be about five am… Allen had been asleep for a while. That means he had been hungry for a while. And being hungry for a while meant bad things. Very bad things. Allen could starve himself to death like this.

Allen did not want to die yet, he was too young, and he wouldn't have died for a noble cause. Starving to death in a car boot, kidnapped by his own classmate? Or was his kidnapper the red head…

Allen didn't care. Either way he would've been kidnapped by odd untrustworthy men with odd hair.

Kanda and the man with red hair both had a strange air about them.

Like they weren't human.

That was impossible, obviously, but still.

Anyway, back to more pressing issues, Allen was hungry. And that mitarashii dango was far away. VERY far away. So far away he probably wouldn't have that much dango in his life; what a depressing thought. And he was still hungry. Great, now he was hungry, confused AND depressed. Just wonderful, really. He just wanted to go home, curl up with a nice quadruple-decker nutella sandwich, and do his homework with Tim resting on his head and eating his hai-wait. Tim. Where was Tim? The last he'd seen of Tim was back at his house. When he had passed out. Had he passed out? It was fuzzy. He was getting up to feed (oh my GO-GOSH I am so hungry…) Tim and then everything seemed to be a blur… He vaguely remembered falling to the ground, but…

Why couldn't he remember?! Allen huffed and tried to think of something else for a while. He ended up thinking of chicken. Oh, chicken. Oh, fabulous, chicken. Beautiful chicken. What Allen wouldn't give for just a PIECE of chicke-WAIT. Allen smelt chicken. Well, he couldn't really smell much of anything right now, but he definitely smelt chicken. It… Was outside.

Allen somehow had to get outside. Whilst being tied up, blind folded, and gagged. Hmm. This may be difficult. He could chew through the gag; it didn't seem that hard… But it tasted disgusting. Allen didn't want it anywhere near his mouth. But then again, it was already in his mouth so what was the point… It was all for the chicken. All. For. The. Chicken.

It had taken Allen a few minutes, but with his strong teeth, he had chewed through the gag, and gotten the god awful thing out of his mouth. Then, he began to yell. He yelled as loud as he could. Why?

Because…

Allen.

Wanted.

Chicken.

And he had to have chicken, NOW.

Lavi jumped. There was a sudden loud noise from the boot of his best friend's car. Even though his best friend refused to be considered a best friend, Kanda was still his best friend, and this was still his car.

Lavi edged away from the car boot and stared at it.

And stared some more.

The noise was still persisting. It sounded like yelling…. Was it music…? Lavi wasn't so sure. If it WAS music, it was horrible. It sounded more like an animal in pain. A few moments of staring went by until Lavi finally realized that inside the car boot was an actual person.

Kanda had kidnapped someone.

Again.

They really had to have a talk. This 'hobby' of kidnapping the humans was really getting out of hand. It was the third this week. Lavi might have to threaten to take away Mugen…

He continued staring at the car lost in thought of plans of keeping Kanda away from the humans, perhaps setting a few abandoned buildings on fire.

The banging continued and Lavi frowned. He hid partly behind the car and began the spell for the human guise. He was tired, and a little hungry after that drive. He wouldn't be able to keep up his disguise long. A few moments and a slight haze of red smoke later, Lavi was now able to be seen by the human eye; but his appearance was different than the form he usually took. It was similar, but different enough so that he was unrecognizable.

He swept his now dark brown hair off his face and stepped out from behind the car. By now the screaming was accompanied by banging, probably the human's head.

Lavi swallowed at hesitated before opening the boot.

A/N: I'm so sorry this is slow, but some major horrible shit happened over at a durarara role play site I'm on, and I have been attempting to coach my friend for catching up with his friend who he wants to go to college with, but he doesn't want to 'hold his friend back' because his friend is like really smart and stuff. To be honest his friend creeps me out. Too nice. And polite. But I'm just rambling now. I'm surprised that you are even reading this. If you are you're a ninja. A shadow cat ninja. Or something. But I'm sorry this took so long ;w; I'll finish up the next chapter as soon as I can and upload it. Hopefully in a week or so. And I'm surprised people even LIKE this story… And also really happy because I like writing this story but surprised because what I expected for this is just a review or two and that's it. But hooray it's liked.

So continue reviewing, and I'll continue writing~