Hi guys! Thanks for the follows and everyone who read the first chapter, please tell me what you think about it in the comments. I got this one out quite quickly because I wasn't sure when I'd next be able to write. Warning for discussion about abortion in this chapter.
Raph stared out over the sleeping city at dawn. Everything was bathed in a beautiful orange glow, quietly waking up for another busy day. His head was still struggling to come to terms with what Karai had told him. How was it even possible? He wished he could believe it was a trap, one of Shredder's plans, but there was something about the look in her eyes that convinced him it wasn't.
He couldn't tell his brothers, that was one thing for sure. He had literally slept with the enemy. Raph smacked himself in the head as he remembered that night, and how foolish he was. Him and Leo were right in the middle of a massive row at the time. Maybe it wouldn't have happened if they hadn't been. Pissed off and claustrophobic, he had gone round to Casey's and they spent the evening getting drunk. Just as he was leaving, Karai turned up, with her guard down and upset. She wanted to talk to someone, about the Shredder, her duty, about Leo of all people, and for some reason had felt he was the right person to do so with. He comforted her, and it had somehow developed into them having sex. Raph couldn't even remember much about it because he was intoxicated, and the parts he could he had tried hard to erase from his mind. He thought the best thing to do was just forget about it, and that way no-one would have to know. But now… It would be much harder to keep it from everyone. He imagined the disappointment on his family's faces if they ever knew.
How could he fuck up so badly? The fact was, although he had gotten angry with Karai, he knew it was all his fault. He was so hotheaded, act first, ask questions later, that's what Leo was always telling him. Suddenly Leo's face appeared in his mind, fearless leader, goody-two shoes Leo. Raph knew he would never be as good as him. With a cry he slammed his hand into the wall next to him, his knuckles cracking with the impact as splintering pain seared through them. Raph laughed. I deserve the pain, he thought. The worst part was, Leo loved Karai. And Karai loved Leo. She may not have said it outright that night, but he could tell from the way she talked about him. "And what do I do? I go and mess things up. Stupid Raphael who always messes things up." He said to himself.
Raph got up and began to walk back home, bracing himself for seeing his brothers again. At least he wouldn't have to deal with being a father, well that's what Karai seemed to be saying. He needed to check it out though, this abortion thing, he didn't understand how you could just get rid of a baby. Plus he wasn't sure he agreed with it, but Karai said it was her choice. She said there was no possible way she could have a baby, even if she gave it away to an orphanage after, right under the Shredder's nose. She said that for her, there was no other option, and that seemed fair enough to Raph.
As the city came to life, the hustle and bustle slowly returned to its streets, Raph slipped down into the darkness and the familiar stink of the sewers. Now to think of an excuse for being out, to lie through his teeth and hide the guilt from the most important people in his life.