Disclaimer: I don't own Bones. I'm not making any money off of this. No copyright infringement intended.
Jenheir1: I've tried to tame down my super heroic tendencies that my characters have. Glad it's working =). Ha still working on writing that conversation ;-).
ArielBrennan: LOL Techie asked he just got the answer from a different source =D.
AngelBach: Yeah it's strange...the Simpson have been around so long that you use them without even thinking about it =). The tongue thing was really weird. I was cruising Youtube and it came up on the sidebar. I couldn't resist. He's not really writing the men's frame of mind per se, he's just making sure I don't make them all girlie lol. Interesting about Big Ben...something else I now know that I'll probably never use.
Silver Maker: I would usually name the song but I couldn't pick one ). Chocolate body paint is too normal for them but there will be something coming up you'll like ).
Guinnesshero: For your next send off I'll make sure you get a proper one =P
Yenyen76: I love when a chapter has a little of this and a little of that.
Nertooold54: Yeah, it's kind of hard to deal with something like that until you've done it for the first time at least.
Thank you guys for your reviews. They really do make my day!
Chapter 35 – Jerk Nuts
Michelle sat down in her class, pulled out her laptop from her backpack, and scowled as it booted up. Rachel sat down next to her and looked over at Michelle.
"You okay?" Rachel asked, looking at the scowl on Michelle's face.
"Hmm, yeah, just not looking forward to the next two weeks," she grumbled.
"Yeah, midterms suck," Rachel agreed.
Michelle snorted and rolled her eyes. Great, her best form of stress relief was gone for two weeks, blech.
"Something is telling me you're not cranky about midterms," Rachel said, probing.
"Josh left for two weeks," Michelle grumbled.
"How come I've never met this Josh guy? I mean I am one of your good friends right? We could double date," Rachel said.
"Rachel, in order to double date you'd have to have a date. You've never met Josh because we spend most of our time in his room naked," Michelle mumbled. Rachel squealed in laughter but stopped abruptly when the professor entered the room.
•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•
Legates sat back in the seat on the plane and took a trip down memory lane. Techie watched a glazed look enter his friends eyes, a smirk spread across his face. Laughing, Techie snapped his fingers in front of Legates' face.
"Hey! I was happy where I was," Legates grumped at him.
"Oh, I know you were," Techie laughed.
Legates immediately looked down at his lap then snatched his head up when Techie burst into laughter.
"I'm going to my happy place," Legates said, closing his eyes, he slipped into a Michelle filled world.
•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•◊•
Michelle saved her notes, closed her laptop, and packed everything up. Rachel followed her out into hallway.
"So, he's left for two weeks. He'll be back," Rachel assured her.
"This time," Michelle blurted. Her eyes widened at the thoughts that ran through her mind.
"What do you mean this time?" Rachel asked, following Michelle across the plaza.
"I mean that they could," she sighed as she gave voice to her thoughts, "send him to Afghanistan, again, at any time. Last time he went, it was for a year."
"Are you going to keep seeing him if he goes to Afghanistan for a year?" Rachel asked, curious as to how attached Michelle was to this supposed guy.
"Uhhh, yeah, what kind of question is that?" Michelle asked, flabbergasted at Rachel's question.
"Well, you know it'd be kind of hard," Rachel told her.
"Yes, it would but all good things have a little difficulty," Michelle told her.
"Well, I'm off to Economics," Rachel said happily.
"Have fun," Michelle said, waving and happy it wasn't her going to Economics.
Rachel left halfway across the plaza and Michelle continued on to her Chemistry lab. An hour later, she was walking across the plaza again trying to get that funky smell from the labs out of her nose. She just had Physics left for the day and then she was done.
She had tried to set her classes up so she had them for the first half of the day and pretty much every afternoon free. It worked for some days but not others. She was halfway to Rome Hall when her phone rang. Grunting, she pulled it from her pocket and answered.
"Hello," she said.
"Hey," Legates said, smiling warmly on the other side of the phone.
"Josh, shouldn't you still be in the air?" Michelle asked, looking down at her watch.
"No, sweetheart, we've been off the plane for hours now," he said, gave a throaty chuckle when she heard voices behind him teasing him, calling him sweetheart.
"Are they being mean to you, Honey?" She asked in a sympathetic voice that was over the top.
"Nah, they're just jealous. They're the graduates. They made us bunk with them and most of them haven't seen a girl in so long their balls are black," he told her, his voice laced with fake empathy. Michelle was still walking and laughed at his comment.
"Awww, poor babies," she mocked.
"HEY!" She heard bellowed.
"Josh, did you put me on speaker phone, you butt monkey," she growled at him.
"Yeah, sorry, sweetheart. I needed my hands and besides it's fun to torture the guys," he said, laughing.
"Baby, you haven't been gone long enough to need your hands free while I'm on the phone with you," she purred. There was a moment of silence.
"Give them a minute, Michelle. They're just trying to get over that voice. They'll laugh in a minute when they actually figure out what exactly it was that you said," Techie said, choking out the words.
"Maybe I should repeat that then," she said, pausing.
"Wouldn't matter, sweetheart. You had their attention and had them at attention when you purred," Legates said, disassembling the weapon he'd been given for the games.
Michelle smirked then sat down on a bench under one of the trees. The breeze whistled by and she shivered just a little. Then to Legates' and his unit's astonishment, she drawled the sentence this time sounding like she'd fallen out of a Tennessee town.
"Baby, you haven't been gone long enough to need your hands free while I'm on the phone with you," she purred with a southern drawl.
"Ahh, home," one of the guys called out.
"Sorry, can't do Georgia. Don't have anyone around here that has one of those," Michelle said, silently laughing.
"Michelle," Legates said, warning her while biting back his laughter at her intentional jab.
"What? I have a guy from Tennessee in my Physics class. I spend a lot of time talking to him," she said, shrugging and struggling not to laugh.
"Reeehhhheeeaaallllyyyy," Legates said, stretching the word out.
"Grow up, Josh," Michelle said.
"Are you two married? Because if you are, you should know he's not wearing his ring," a voice called out. Michelle jerked her head back in surprise and shook her head.
"Shut up, dipshit," Legates said. Michelle could hear Brown laughing in the background.
"When's your next class?" Legates asked, as he started cleaning pieces.
"Forty minutes," she replied automatically. Legates' eyebrow rose when he heard a bike whiz by where she was sitting.
"Baby, are you sitting outside?" He asked her, knowing darn well she was.
"Yep," she replied.
"Why?" He asked, curious as to why she was sitting outside.
"Meh, I was here, there was a bench and my voice won't echo out here," she said. She saw Tanya walking up and mentally groaned.
"Uh, oh," she said.
"What?" Legates asked, his attention suddenly on high alert. Then he knew why.
"Hey, is that the Greek god?" Tanya asked, sitting down.
Legates chin dropped to his chest as he struggled with his embarrassment and laughter. Michelle sighed and grunted. Hitting the speaker button, she set the phone down on the bench between them so their legs were blocking the wind.
"Hi, Tanya," Legates said, picking up another piece of his weapon. She heard a whooping noise and jerked her head back.
"He's in the barracks with a bunch of blue ball graduates. Apparently, he needs his hands free for something," Michelle said, waggling her eyebrows and grinning.
Tanya snickered and Legates sighed. There was a sudden whooping noise in the background and Michelle heard a loud ruckus in the background.
"Josh, what is that?" Michelle asked, her eyes going wide.
"They're pining rank of Specialist on Perkins and Goodman," Legates said, snickering at the sight of Perkins getting the crap punched out of him.
"What is that?" Michelle asked, squinting her eyes as she strained to listen to the commotion in the background.
"It's a military thing. Perkins and Goodman made Specialist and now," he chuckled almost evilly, "we're pinning their stripes on."
Michelle winced and tried to ignore the sounds coming from the phone and focused on the good part. Two of the men in the unit had made rank.
"Aww, congratulations Cupcake," Michelle said, smiling, "you too Goodman. I think the whole pinning thing is just a way for you guys to touch each other."
"Is your mind always in the gutter, baby?" Legates asked, scared of the answer he was about to receive.
"You should know, you're the one who dragged it down there," she said, laughing.
"Oh, no you didn't go there. Haven't we had this discussion?" Legates asked her, smiling at the memory from the day before.
"Yep, and you couldn't prove your statement then either," she told him.
"Unexplained bacon," he muttered. Michelle giggled and raised an eyebrow.
"You keep doing stuff like that and I'll tell Martinez," she threatened.
"Aww, sweetheart, you said you wouldn't," he semi-whined. She laughed and shook her head.
"Can I tell Tanya? She'll appreciate it," she asked. Legates hung his head again and shook it.
"Alright, alright, but if it gets back to Martinez both of you are going to die," he muttered towards the phone. Tanya looked up at Michelle expectantly.
"Later," she told her.
"Oh that reminds me, I have to order some hot sauce," Michelle said, digging out her laptop and booting it up.
"Wait, your girlfriend orders hot sauce? What don't they carry it in stores there in DC?" One of the guys asked Legates, with a look of disbelief on his face.
Tanya bellowed out a laugh at the guy's comment. She was looking over Michelle's shoulder.
"Holy Crap the price went up," Tanya gaped at the sixteen dollar price on the hot sauce.
"Hmm, yeah there was a frost and a lot of the peppers didn't make it," Michelle mumbled. Legates looked over his shoulder at the guys and smirked.
"Oooohh, they put in a snack section," Michelle said gleefully.
"Oh, shit," Legates muttered.
"So, she likes spicy snacks," the same guy said, shrugging his shoulders. Techie bellowed out a laugh as he put together what she wouldn't tell Martinez.
"I don't think you quite understand how spicy she likes stuff, Williams," Techie said, biting back his laughter.
"Order an extra bottle, sweetheart. Martinez is possessive about his hot sauce," Legates told her.
"I ordered a case. Easier that way," she said.
"Oooo, look at that. You know how much fun that could be?" Tanya squealed, pointing to the page.
Michelle's eyes read the description and she smirked and added three to the cart.
"You're going to order-" she fell silent when Michelle's hand clapped over her mouth.
"Baby, should I be afraid?" Legates asked, scared again at the answer.
"Afraid wouldn't be exactly the word I would use," Tanya purred and Legates' eyes shot to the phone.
"Hey, look, Jerk Nuts. Maybe we should order some to send to those poor guys down there at Benning," Michelle said, laughing. Legates' head dropped back and he started chuckling.
"Oh, order me some of those and I'll pay you back," Tanya said, pointing to the wasabi peanuts.
Michelle stuck one in the cart then checked out. Legates looked at Techie with mock scared expression on his face.
"I'm very afraid," he told him. Techie shook his head and laughed.
"Aww, Legates, are you scared of a little Tabasco sauce," Williams taunted with a laugh. Michelle snorted and rolled her eyes.
"No, I'm afraid of Mongoose sauce," he grumbled.
"What the hell is that?" Williams asked, looking at Legates.
"It's a hot sauce that would make your pucker hole burn," Michelle replied.
"Excuse me?" Williams barked in irritation that she thought he wouldn't be able to handle it.
"She's not kidding," Legates muttered, picking up the barrel of his weapon and looking down it.
"Three million Scoville units. Google it," Michelle told Williams with a smirk in her voice then looked down at her watch with a frown.
"Ehhhh, I don't wanna go," she whined.
"Aww, physics?" Legates asked, already knowing that was the class she hated this semester.
"Uh huh," she whined.
"Come on, Michelle, physics isn't bad," Goodman said, smiling.
"Shut up, Goodman," she said, frowning. Goodman just laughed at her. Michelle glared at the phone and flipped it the bird.
"Put that finger down, sweetheart. I'll do it by proxy," Legates said, turning he flipped off Goodman.
Goodman laughed and the men around him laughed at him. Michelle heard a clank of metal hitting metal.
"Baby, what are you doing?" Michelle asked, wondering what the hell he was doing.
"He's playing with his gun," Addison yelled, laughing.
"Honey, should you let those little boys watch you do that? They might get a complex," she said, smirking.
Legates shook his head and grinned at her comment. The men behind him hooted and hollered.
"Yeah, they might not like bologna," Tanya said, looking over at Michelle with a wink.
Michelle, Tanya and Legates burst into laughter and the men just looked at each other in confusion.
"The lovebirds are so weird," Perkins muttered.
"Shut up, Cupcake," Michelle said, grinning. The men burst into laughter at her nickname.
"I'm cleaning the weapon that they gave me to use for the next two weeks," Legates informed her.
"Ahhh see that's not what Addison said," Michelle replied.
"I know," Legates shot back.
"You'd better behave or you won't get your surprise," she cooed. His eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened.
"Ruh roh, Michelle is being sweet. Somethings up," Techie muttered.
"Hey, I resemble that remark," Michelle said in a hurt tone. The guys awwwwed and Legates shook his head with a smirk.
"She's the master," he murmured.
"You'd better believe it, Baby," she purred and his eyes narrowed.
"Shouldn't you be getting to class?" Legates asked, glancing at his watch.
"The door to the building is five feet in front of me. Then I turn left and walk two doors down. Tadaa, I'm in class," she said smugly.
"Besides we're having fun screwing with ya'll," Tanya said devilishly.
"Oh, hell," Legates muttered. Michelle giggled and waggled her eyebrows at Tanya.
"Oh you are bad," Tanya said.
"Excuse me?" Legates asked with his eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"Not you, her," Tanya clarified.
"That I knew or rather I found out," he said, laughing. Michelle sucked on her teeth and sighed while shaking her head.
"I do believe that's a 'you ain't seen shit yet' look on her face," Tanya told him.
Legates looked at the ceiling and crossed himself.
"Sweetcheeks, you're not Catholic," Techie sputtered out between laughs.
"Yeah, Sweetcheeks," Michelle murmured.
"Please don't call me that, Baby," Legates requested.
"Okay, sweetie. But why?" She asked, confused as to why he wouldn't want her to call him that.
"Because the guys call me that and I'd rather think of other things than them when you're talking to me," he explained.
"Like what my boobs would look like covered in chocolate and bacon?" She asked innocently, looking around.
"Exactly," Legates agreed over the stunned silence behind him. Techie, Perkins, Wilson, and Goodman kept the silence for about ten seconds then burst into laughter.
"Okay, Honey, I have to get gone or I'll be late," Michelle said sweetly.
"'Yup, I'll call you later tonight," he told her.
"Okay, I should be back from the gym around threeish so anytime after that," she told him.
"Got it and now I have lovely images," he muttered.
"Bye," she said, stuffing everything into her backpack.
"Bye," he answered then heard the line go dead.
Reaching over, he hung up the phone and returned to cleaning his weapon. The hum of voices started up behind him and he remained silent.
Michelle grunted, stood up and headed into her Physics class with Tanya one step behind.
"Where is he?" Tanya asked, rushing behind her friend.
"Georgia," Michelle said, scowling.
"Ooohhh, tough luck. How long?" Tanya asked, following Michelle into the class room and sitting down next to her.
"Two weeks," Michelle said with a sigh.
"It's not that bad," Tanya said with a grin.
Michelle thought about poking her friend in the eye. Sitting down, she pulled out her laptop again and turned it on. She scowled at the screen then went surfing on the internet and stopped when the professor walked in. Tanya had been watching over Michelle's arm and smirked at her friend.
An hour and a half later, Michelle shut her laptop down and closed the computer. She really did hate physics.
"Remind me to see if I can talk to Zack," she muttered.
"Yes, ma'am," Tanya said, shooting Michelle a strange look.
Michelle set out towards the gym and hoped there was an elliptical open. With her music blasting in her ears, she climbed on the elliptical and drifted off to her happy place. No nightmares, no bad memories, no panic, naked Legates and a smile spread across her face. Jeanie watched from the desk with a smirk on her face.
Michelle was in outer space in some very nice place and didn't notice the guys using the equipment around her. Jackie saw Michelle's phone vibrate on the stand in front of her. Getting up, she walked to the elliptical and waved her hand in front of Michelle's eyes, getting her attention. Michelle gave her a nod and Jackie pointed to her phone. Pulling her earbuds out, Michelle smiled.
"Thanks," she said, picking up the bluetooth and hooked it in her ear without breaking stride.
"Hello," she said, slightly puffing.
"Michelle?" Legates asked, slightly unsure if it was her, she sounded funny.
"Yep, what are you up to?" She asked with a slight smile on her face.
"Sitting here in the corner on the other side of the room from everyone else, talking to you," he said in a low tone.
She chuckled and suddenly noticed that there was a lot of men around her. Groaning, she slowed down and began her cool down.
"Baby, why are you huffing and puffing?" Legates asked, worried that something might be wrong.
"Still on an elliptical," she huffed. Legates looked at his watch and frowned.
"Sweetheart, it's three thirty. How long have you been on the elliptical," Legates asked, her his brow furrowed with worry.
"Eh, about an hour," she mumbled, finally coming to a stop.
Picking up her iPod and phone, she climbed down. She wiped down the machine before heading to the locker room. Jeanie snickered and watched as the men turned to watch her leave.
"So what are your plans for the evening?" He asked with a sly smile on his face.
"Going to change and go home to shower. Maybe get some studying in or maybe do something else," she said in a teasing tone.
"Arrgghh, you are evil woman just plain evil," Legates growled through gritted teeth.
"Are you going to start reciting monster stats at me?" She asked with a devilish grin spread across her face.
"I just might have to," he said, breathing deeply.
She chuckled as she entered the locker room and walked to her locker. She spun the dial and quickly opened it. Legates closed his eyes and listened to her as she pulled her clothes off.
"Woman, are you trying to kill me? Do you realize the mental pictures I'm having here?" He asked in a gruff tone.
"No, but if you give me few minutes I might be able to talk you into a heart attack," she smirked.
"Hooboy, maybe I should go for a walk," he mumbled.
"Maybe you should," she snickered, "because I was looking up all kinds of interesting things on the internet in the five minutes before class started today."
"Ohhh hell," he gulped, standing up and walking out the door. Techie watched his friend go and shook his head.
"She's going to kill him," he muttered.
"Oh but what a way to go," Perkins sighed.
Every man except for Legates turned and looked at him.
"What? I mean, get killed by a beautiful woman," he muttered.
Legates walked out into the cold evening air.
"And what kind of interesting things did you find on the internet?" Legates with an interested yet slightly apprehensive tone.
Michelle let out a low chuckled after she pulled on her shirt. She wiggled into her jeans and Legates groaned as he heard her zipper.
"Not helping, really not helping," he said gruffly.
"Awww, baby, are you having a bad trip? It's only your first day and you still have thirteen more to go," she teased.
"Don't remind me," he grumbled.
"Are you always this grumpy when you leave?" She asked, pulling the shoulder straps of her backpack onto her shoulders.
"Nope, it's all your fault. You made it so there's somewhere I'd rather be," he told her honestly.
"Oh it's my fault?" She asked in a fake snarky tone. He grinned on the other side of the line.
"Absolutely, all your fault," he told her.
"I should hang up on you," she said.
"I'll just call you back," he told her.
She was chuckling as she walked past Jeanie. Jeanie waved and Michelle returned the wave. There was a light sigh across the gym as Michelle disappeared.
"You can let your guts out now guys," Jackie said with a smirk.
Michelle shivered as the cold air hit her skin.
"Shit, it's cold," she chattered.
"Baby, it's forty here in Georgia I can't imagine how cold it is up there," he told her.
"One block, one block," she chanted with chattering teeth.
"Until?" He asked in a perplexed voice, knowing her dorm was more than one block from the gym.
"Metro," she said between clenched teeth. He heard her moving then a swish and a moment later he heard her sigh.
"You know this sucks don't you? I've gotten used to you being around," she whined. He chuffed out a laugh and looked up at the cold Georgia sky.
"Tell me about it. Even better, they stuck us in barracks which means we're on standard beds. For my own safety I have to sleep curled up. By the end of the games my back and my nuts will hurt," he grunted.
"Awww, Baby, we'll have to get you a bed you can fit on," Michelle said. He snorted out a laugh and rolled his eyes.
"The only bed I can stretch out on is a California king," he grumped. Michelle grinned and tucked that bit of information away.
"Nothing to say about that?" He asked in surprise at her silence.
"Nope, just means when I buy a bed I gotta buy a humgenormous one," she said, smiling.
He laughed at her word and sent a silent prayer of thanks heavenward. Michelle sucked in a deep breath as the metro slid to a stop at her station. Getting off the train, she high tailed it up the steps and into the night air. She hustled down the block and up the steps to her building. With the wave of her wallet the door clicked open and she rushed into the entryway.
"Better?" Legates asked with a smug grin.
"Yes, smartass. And now I'm going to take a shower because you know I'm a stinky chick," she said sarcastically.
"You going to let me go then," he said hesitantly, half hoping she would half hoping she wouldn't.
"Nope, I have every intention of taking you with me. If I start to make weird noises it's me getting electrocuted," she laughed.
"Now don't go doing that," he said. She giggled as she stuck her key in the door.
"No, phone has speaker phone. You should remember it's what clued you into my tingling lady parts," she laughed. He grinned at her through the phone.
"You are in an ornery mood aren't you?" He asked, laughing at her playfulness.
"I'm just excited for your surprise to get here," she teased him.
"Aww, come on. Tell me what it is, pllleeeeeaaaaassssseeee," he begged.
"Nope, but I'll show you when you get back if you're a good boy," she promised.
"Show me? Hrmm is it lacy?" He asked, trying to get her to give a hint.
"God, I hope not," she muttered, giggling.
"Is it silky?" He asked, having way to much fun with this.
"Hrmm, yeah, you could describe it like that," she said, grinning as she moved through the living room. She waved at Brittney as she walked through the room.
"Can you wear it?" He asked, his eyes lighting up at the mental images flashing through his brain.
"Umm, I'm not sure if you are supposed to but I plan on wearing it," she said, a mischievous tone coming into her voice.
"Oh Lord. It's not edible underwear is it? Because those things are nasty," he told her.
She stopped mid-stride in the middle of her room, pulled her phone away from her ear and looked at it.
"Absolutely not," she said, putting the phone up to her ear.
"What was with the silence?" He asked, having the sneaking suspicion she had in fact bought edible underwear.
"I was looking at the phone wondering a. if you'd lost your ever loving mind and b. where the hell you'd eaten edible underwear. Then I realized I didn't want that second question answered so feel free not to," she told him. He started laughing and men trickling outside the barracks for a smoke looked over at him.
"Lets just say, they're not all they're cracked up to be," he said.
"LALALALALALALALALA," she sang loud and off key while putting a finger in her opposite ear. Legates burst into rolling laughter at her singing.
"You just offended my virgin sensibilities," she told him in a serious guys standing near the door stepped closer to Legates, trying to hear what was making him laugh so hard he was hunched over.
"Sweetheart, if you still have virgin sensibilities I haven't done something right," he said between gasps of laughter. A smirk spread across her face and she did a happy dance around the room.
"You just openly admitted that I had virgin sensibilities until I met you. Therefore, I was a good girl until you came along," she sing songed at him. Legates smacked a palm to his forehead and shook his head back and forth.
"Yep, you're going to be the death of me no doubt," he laughed.
"I do what I can," she laughed, walking to her bathroom.
She turned off bluetooth and hit speaker then set the phone down. She began pulling her clothes off and Legates was quiet on the other end listening with a grin on his face.
"Yo, Legates, what the hell are you doing that has a shit eating grin plastered on your face," Addison yelled.
"Nothing you want to hear about," Legates called back.
"Awwww, man," Addison said before disappearing back into the barracks.
Legates chuckled as Addison disappeared into the building. Legates heard the shower start and he closed his eyes. Images of her in his shower jumped to the forefront of his mind.
"So what exactly are these war games?" She asked him as she grabbed her bottle of body wash.
"Uhh just tests to show the guys what kind of situations they could run into. They have to find the bad guys and such," he told her.
"And you are there why?" She asked, confused as to why the unit was down there.
"Because at least seven of the next fourteen days, we'll be the bad guys," he said, grinning.
"Ohhh, bad boy. Tut tut," she teased.
"Woman, you are being evil," he said in a gravelly tone.
"Okay, okay, I'll behave. Can't have you sporting wood for two weeks," she murmured just over the sound of the shower.
"Too late," he muttered back.
Michelle giggled then sucked in a breath as a pain shot from her lower abdomen to her back. With a groan, she fell to her knees with a whine.
"Michelle?" Legates asked, having her heard her fall but not the whine. Michelle breathed in panting breaths through the pain.
"Michelle?" Legates asked a little louder starting to get worried.
"Just a minute," Michelle snarled in pain.
She breathed through the cramp and crawled to the front of the tub and turned the water off. Using the edge of the tub, she levered herself up and out of the tub. She sat down gingerly on the mat on the floor.
"What's today?" She asked as another pain ripped through her body.
"Uhhh, the seventh, why?" He asked, scowling at the phone.
"Fuuuccckkkkk," she whined. She couldn't believe she'd lost track of the days.
"Baby, what is going on?" He asked now really worried.
He could hear her panting breaths through the phone. After the pain passed, she sucked in a breath ready to deliver what she needed done before the pain hit her again.
"Call, Cam, please. Tell her I forgot to get my shot and I need the really good stuff. All the way around, everything," Michelle rushed out before she started panting. Legates walked quickly into the barracks.
"Hey, gimme your phone," Legates called to Techie.
Techie's eyebrow rose when he saw Legates had one phone up to his ear already. Shrugging, he tossed Legates his cell phone.
"Gimme her number, sweetheart," Legates said calmly.
Turning his back on the people in the room, he walked back outside the barracks. He heard Michelle spit out the numbers in rapid fire succession. He'd almost think she was angry but he would be clueless as to what he'd done to cause it. He shook his head as he dialed. He heard the other phone ring and put his phone on his shoulder as he waited for Cam to answer.
"Dr. Saroyan," Cam answered her phone.
"Dr. Saroyan, it's Legates. I have Michelle on the other line and she's not sounding too healthy. She told me to tell you that she didn't get her shot and to bring the really good stuff. All the way around, everything," he repeated Michelle's statement to Cam.
"I'm going to kill her. What the hell was she doing Friday that she couldn't get her shot," Cam grumbled. Legates whistled and looked at the sky and tried to be invisible.
"Dammit, then you need to keep a calendar," she grumbled.
"Of what? I have no clue what's going on," Legates said completely confused. Cam sighed and rolled her eyes as she gathered her supplies.
"I'll let her explain it," Cam said, hanging up on him.
Turning back to his phone, he hit end on Techie's phone and carried it back into the barracks.
"She's on her way, Baby. You going to explain what's going on? I'm really confused here," he said, handing Techie his phone.
Techie watched in surprise as Legates spun on his heel and headed back outside again. Techie squinted mentally calculated and burst into rolling laughter. Goodman looked at Techie and gave him a questioning look.
"Poor, Legates, he's about to be introduced to the she devil that is Michelle," Techie said, snickering.
"Oh damn, really?" Wilson asked, shaking his head and snickering.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Williams asked, fingering the cards in his hands.
"He did get off lucky though," Wilson said, dealing out a card, "I mean he's not going to be there. So it's not like he's not already celibate."
"Wait, why are we talking about this? Unnghh it's Michelle," Techie said, shivering and making a disgusted face.
"Be that as it may, she's still a girl," Wilson said, grinning at his cards.
"Awww man...why...unngggh...that's gross," Goodman said.
Legates moved outside and let out a huff of air, waiting for Michelle to answer his question. He could hear her moving around and breathing like she was in labor. He heard cabinets opening and closing then he heard her pick up the phone. Some more silence then he heard her whine as she crawled up on the bed.
"Baby, I can tell you're in pain but what happened? Is this from spending an hour on the elliptical?" He asked worried that she'd overexerted herself.
"No, sort of, dammit I don't know," she snarled in frustration, tears gathering in her eyes.
"Okay, calm down and tell me exactly what his going on?" He said in a soothing tone that made her glare a the phone on the pillow next to her.
A/N: Tomorrow we have more boxes to pack...oh wait... that's real life sorry about that. Michelle and Legates have...heat, super monster bitch, Demerol, peanut sacrilege, an obstacle course, bustiers, Black Friday plans, UK 103, Michelle to the rescue, falling down, a door, sharpie markers, post it notes, tears, and explanations.