Nick

The first day I met her started out as any other normal day. We were treating a patient called Joseph Brooker who had come in after being accidently caught up in a cross fire between two rival gangs. I remember thinking what a travesty it was as he was only five years old. I didn't want police involvement but unfortunately because of the severity of the situation they had to intervene. It wasn't that I didn't like the police but the police and my emergency department had never really seen eye to eye on things before, especially on cases like this one involving the youth of modern day Holby. When she first walked in to the ED she had another male officer with her and being the Pratt that I am I automatically presumed that he was her superior. I walked over to them and introduced myself to the male officer; I will never make that mistake again. The gaze she gave me could have melted ice. I still remember the first thing she ever said to me:

"Actually I am Detective Inspector Yvonne Rippon."

She held out her hand to me to firmly shake it and I responded by automatically reaching out to shake it back and as I was doing so I felt a little electric pulse of electricity flow through me making my whole body tingle and something I suspected was nerves as I always get nervous in the presence of a pretty woman regardless whether I feel I had romantic connection to her or not. I can't remember the next thing I said but I think it was something like I didn't think she looked old enough to be a DCI. At that moment I knew I had made a total idiot out of myself and probably looked that way as well. But then she smiled at me and quickly excused herself to start her investigations, telling me that if she needed me, she would just follow the line of swooning nurses. I remember thinking from that moment on I didn't think my world would be the same again but I just didn't know how much she was going to affect the rest of my life...

I must have dropped off, (not that I sleep very much these days anyway) because when I come to, it is pitch black all around me. For a millisecond I wonder what has woken me. Then a blood chilling feeling engulfs me as I realise that the usual reassuring and comforting beeping has been drowned out by Yvonne's voice, moaning and crying in her sleep.

'No please. Don't. Hurt me please. Nick... Nick... Where are you? I need you. I love you. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me '

It's so horrible that without thinking I slide out of the hard plastic chair and couch down by her side.

I stoke her cheek tenderly, wanting more than anything to banish the images that plague her dreams. I watch as her crying softens to gentle sobs. I climb onto the bed next to her, wanting to comfort her further and cuddle her close to me, as well as I am able. Yvonne is still somewhere in that place between sleep and wakefulness, her eyes are closed and her muttering has quieted considerably but is still there, under the surface. I find myself unable to tear my eyes away from her; she looks so adorable I can't believe how lucky I am. She drifts back into a calm state of rest, her hand resting against my heart.

I drop off again because the next thing I know I am being woken by a nurse who looks slightly disgruntled at the fact I am half lying, half sitting on Yvonne's bed.

"You do know that these beds are not made for two people don't you?"

At the tone of her voice instantIy feel my cheeks redden with embarrassment. There is no doubt her presence intimidates me but I am a doctor for God's sake I should be used to pretentious nurses talking down to me. Not that the nurses ever do speak down to me, it is usually the other way around. As I get carefully off the bed I hear Yvonne softly mumble in her sleep. All the while the Ward Sister is staring at me with a look of disapproval on her face. Why this woman made me feel so uncomfortable I have no idea. I now knew what it felt like to be one of my own patients and briefly promise myself I will change my bedside manner once back at Holby. This woman's stare makes me feel like an errant child.

"She was just having a bad night. I thought if I got in next to her it would calm her down a bit and it worked, see?"

I indicate Yvonne's peacefully sleeping form and what I suspect are the beginnings of a smile twitch at the nurse's mouth. But when I look again the expression has gone back to one of passive indifference.

"If I find you in Miss Rippon's bed again Mr Jordan, I shall have to call security". She carries on to check Yvonne's obs and busies herself with the relevant tasks like checking Yvonne's chart, all the while I can feel the essence of that scrutinising stare as it follows me around even when I'm not doing anything. It reminds me of the eyes of the Mona Lisa that follow you around the room.

"Call me when she wakes up."

When she is gone I breathe a silent sigh of relief. I don't know why but that nurse reminds me of my mother and she has been dead for about thirty years. But no matter how much this woman freaks me out I am not going to be moved from Yvonne's side. She is my priority now, my family.