Yvonne

'Black?'

I looked up at his weird direction of questioning, that was until I noticed the mugs in front of him, which he was filling with what I considered to be my lifeblood some days, what helped me get through all the dally stresses which being a leading officer on the Holby police force often presented. Coffee.

He continued to look at me with an amusing glint in his eye, which despite myself I found oddly attractive. I had no idea why though as he wasn't my usual type at all. Then again there was that saying that opposites attracted, not that I ever believed in stuff like that. I was a police officer, we dealt in cold, hard facts and statistics, and we didn't have time to think about silly superstitions that was until I met Nick Jordan after that I was convinced I could believe almost anything . Little did I know it then but my life would be forever changed from meeting this charming, annoying, confident and ambitious man.

Usually I hated those types of men. Men who thought they were God's gift and used it to their advantage. So why didn't I feel the same about Nick? Even I didn't understand the reason why, I just didn't.

Okay it had now gotten more than awkward as it dawned on me that I still hadn't answered his query. His brow had become arched with ever so slight impatience. I quickly pulled myself from my thoughts and answered in the affirmative, however I'm sure my tone sounded more distracted than I had intended.

When he passed my mug to me, I briefly felt a stirring of something I hadn't felt for a long time. That feeling was something that resembled pleasure. Before my wayward thoughts drifted again I took control of the situation

'Sugar?'

'Oh yes, sorry'

The sachet he handed me was nowhere near enough to satisfy my sweet tooth, nothing was. He gave me a look of disapproval when I asked for more. On discovering this still wasn't sufficient I leant forward to get just a smidge more and his expression flattened into one of compete medical judgment, and I didn't like it. Not one little bit. He might have been able to appear all high and mighty with his patents, but he was playing a whole different ball game if he was thinking he could do the same with me.

'Oh don't go all doctory on me, and anyway it is brown sugar '

To break the tension that was building between us I looked around the small kitchen for anything that resembled a spoon and didn't find one. Then I spied a pen out of the corner of my eye and when he next turned his back to me I swiped it and quickly stirred my overly sweet drink. But I wasn't quite quick enough because he turned and caught me. I must of looked a little guilty as his eyebrows rose, intrigued, at my odd behaviour. However he didn't say anything, he just picked up the discarded pen and plonked it into the bin, the look of disapproval threatening to return.

'Ah look I'm sorry it's just in the force that's what we call a Scotland Yard teaspoon'

He looked at as if I was one penny short of a pound, which I was and I still don't why but I had this overwhelming urge to impress him. Then a wry smile lit up his features, making his turn from still waters into sparkling sapphires, which made me all jittery, inside and out. The only time I remembered feeling like that was when I really liked someone. But that must have meant... No it wasn't possible, was it?

'No Nick I'm not doing it'

'Oh come on love please, I'm begging you here'

'I'm sorry I can't'

Oh no tears fill my eyes and I automatically roll over as they begin to overspill and create a small pool on my pillow, making it damp to the touch. All of a sudden I feel Nick lean over me and his voice is warm as it hits my ear, both in sentiment and from physical closeness.

'I won't love you any less you know. In fact I fall deeper and deeper in love with you every day so not loving you is just not an option for me. '

The softness with which those words are spoken, make my sobs increase until I am crying loudly, but I don't care. The idea of losing my independence downright scares me like nothing else ever has. It means I will have to learn to take orders from other people, something I need to accept. That will be the hard thing, acceptance. I nod my head ever so slightly knowing but hating the fact that I will not be able to change my situation, just enough so Nick can see.

'Thank you for letting me fix you, I love you. I'm just going to step outside and tell them. I'll be right back and remember be nice, they are just trying to make it easier.'

He learns forward and places a soft kiss on my forehead, before going outside and talking to the physiotherapists who want to take me downstairs for my first session. I'm so scared; I haven't seen myself since that night. I haven't even taken a look at myself in a mirror. I'm too frightened at the thought of what I might find. At that moment the curtain is pulled back and in walk two bright eyed, young people, a man and a woman, who are each wearing white polo neck t-shirts and a pair of navy blue trousers. The woman speaks first, a wide false smile spreads across her face as she talks, her voice overly bright and sweet. It makes me realize the only thing I like sugar in is my coffee.

'Hi Yvonne, how are feeling? I'm Christine and this is Mark, we are your physio's, we will be working with you to regain your strength after the operation, now we w- '

'No you won't be because I have had both my legs amputated if you hadn't noticed, so excuse me if I'm not quite sure what the bloody point of anything is anymore! Now I need to talk to my partner so if you would please leave I would really appreciate it. Thank you.'

'Yvonne please, all of us are only trying to help. The wheelchair doesn't necessarily mean-'

At the sound of that word, a deep rooted ache begins in the pit of my stomach and snakes all the way around my heart, making me feel dog tired and my muscles hurt with an almost physical pain and the force of which I feel it, shocks me. I don't see much after that and everything I do see mists over in a fog of red, which oddly reflects my mood. Depressed and angry. Now I lose it, my dam breaks, my emotions are unleashed.

'I SAID GET OUT'

At the sound of my voice rising voice Nick comes bursting back in, a steaming hot cup of coffee in his hand, with up to four sachets of sugar in the other. He smiles at me when he sees the expression on my face, which only fuels to anger me even more. He comes and sits by my side and cups my face in his hand as he wipes my stray tears away with his thumb.

'I knew it would be difficult to get you to do anything as I know you are so headstrong. It's one of the many things I love about you, so I thought I'd bring a little incentive...'

He indicates the coffee cup, which is now warming his hands. I watch the steam as it curls up and vanishes into the air. I have to admire his efforts; he certainly knows how to push my buttons. Just the sight of it makes my mouth water in delicious anticipation. But I am not going to let him see how much it affects me. If he thinks he can bribe me like some stupid little kid he has another thing coming. I can't be bought that easily, although that being said... I turn my head away, shake it stubbornly, even though all I really want to do is roll over, snatch it from his grasp, and drink down the heavenly liquid, and try to remember what life was like before it all happened and my life changed beyond all recognition.

'What Yvonne Rippon refusing coffee? Now I really have seen everything! Oh alright if you're going to be like that I'm sure there are plenty of people who would appreciate it. Excuse me-'

I grab his arm and pull it roughly, almost upsetting the coffee all over the bed.

'What?' He is almost lying on top of me. He gazes down at me, giving me his best shot at mock innocence. It makes me smile, seeing him so happy. There was a time, not so long ago, where I questioned whether I would ever see his smile again.

'You know what. Give'. I hold out my hand expecting him to pass me the cup. When he still refuses, I try to lean forward and take try to the coffee from him and I find I am not strong enough. I look at him, it's clear he wants something else before he gives me what I so desire. I sigh resignedly and look at him.

'Come on Yvonne, just come with me and look at it. It might not be as bad as you-'

'How can it not be as bad I think? It's a wheelchair, Nick I'm scared'

'I know you are love, but I am with you. I love you and we will get through this together. I promise.'

'Alright, alright I will come. Can I have the coffee now?' My last words are eclipsed however by Nick's lips crushing against mine in a passionate kiss, so all consuming that I am scared that it will take my breath away.

'Thank you love it will all okay now, of that I am sure. This is just the start for us. A new beginning, before I forget I think you have more than earned your incentive. Here you go'

He hands me the coffee cup, after emptying all four sugars into it. I am just about to lift it to my lips when Nick interrupts again

'Aren't you forgetting something?' l look all around me, don't see anything and look back at him, still none the wiser to see the smile from earlier spreading across his. He takes a used biro from his jacket pocket, smile still in place.

'Your Scotland Yard Teaspoon, madam'