I Do not own Glee, if I did, things would be done very differently!

Chapter 3: Bound4Broadway

After dealing with the all the bullying of the last few weeks, talking with Blaine and hanging out with him has been really good for me. I know that I have been neglecting Mercedes, but Blaine knows what I am going through cause he has been through it too. Plus the fact that he also happens to be gay it a big plus. Now don't get me wrong, I love my girl Merc. But having another guy to talk to about this stuff has been really helpful. There really aren't a ton of role models for guys my age. I mean there are some, but a lot of the 'stars' and television characters that are gay are really just a bunch of stereotypes. I know that I fit into a few of them, but I am still a guy, not a girl. And having Blaine treat me like a guy and not an honorary girl is really nice.

So after postponing our bowling night, and getting Miss Holiday to sub for us in glee, where she performed and amazing rendition of 'Forget You', I find my self at Taco Bell with the rest of the glee club where we are all having fun thinking of songs that we can sing at sectionals. When we get back to school for the last period of the day I am shoved into the locker again by none other than Karofsky. He lingers a little and then turns and heads for the boys bathroom.

Collecting myself, and putting on one of my many indifferent masks, I slowly follow. When I get in Karofsky is scaring some freshman out.

After the poor kid leaves, and making sure there is no one else in here, I lock the door, and then I turn to face my bully. "So pushing me around isn't enough is it? You have to go and yell at innocent bystanders."

"What ever Homo." he turns to the sink to wash his hands, but the look on his face tells me that he is uncomfortable and maybe even a little scared.

"You know you don't have to get violent. Even if you aren't ready to accept yourself doesn't mean that you have to go and take it out on everyone else."

"What would you know about it?"

"I know plenty. I know that it is hard to tell others. I was being picked on for being gay before I even knew what it meant. I deal with it everyday and I have never once lashed out on someone else because of my own personal problems. I find that talking about them to some one else helps immensely."

"Yeah well I am not telling anyone, and you better not either." His voice rises at the end of the statement that turned into a command.

"I won't tell anyone. I think that you should do that at your own pace. But I do believe that you should talk to someone. There are hotlines and chat rooms. They are completely anonymous, and you can start to get the help you need. If you won't talk to me, at least talk to someone."

"Like I said," he takes a few steps closer to me, "I am not telling anyone, and you better not. Not if you know what's good for you."

He pushes against my shoulder and makes me turn sideways in order to keep my balance, and goes to the door and unlocks it, slipping out into the still crowded hallway. He has to come around eventually…

That afternoon when I get home, I decide to take some of my own advice. Talking to Blaine has been great and I want to keep his friendship, but I also don't want every time we hang out to be me complaining about everything that goes on at school. So I go to check out some of those chat rooms I was talking about. Who knows, maybe I will be able to find someone who can give me another point of view on the situation.

After searching for a fifteen minutes I finally find one that looks promising. It has different chat rooms for all fifty states and a few other countries. I could find someone out of state to talk to, and I move the mouse over New York. But then I think, are there other gay kids in Ohio? I mean of course there are. But I could talk to someone who is going through the same stuff, at the same time I am.

After taking time to make a small profile, but not filling in too many details, I have to pick a screen name. I am not really sure what to pick. There are so many things I could say with this. As I look around my room for inspiration my eyes land on some of my original Broadway posters. Turning back to the screen I type in: Bound4Broadway.

When I enter the chat room there aren't very many people in there. And before I even have a chance to type anything all but one person left, Guest64. Taking a deep breath I type the first thing that comes to mind…

Bound4Broadway: Hey.

Lame I know, but surprising enough I get a response fairly quickly.

Guest64: Hey, how's it goin?

Bound4Broadway: Not bad. How are you?

Guest64: I've been better.

Bound4Broadway: Really? What's up?

Guest64: I am not sure that I am ready to talk about it…

Bound4Broadway: That's ok. Why don't we start with something easier. Are you really from Ohio?

Guest64: Yeah, u?

Bound4Broadway: Yes, born and raised.

Guest64: Me 2.

Bound4Broadway: So what kind of stuff do you like to do? Movies, sports, music?

Guest64: Well I really like older movies, like Casablanca, Singing in the Rain, and Gone with the Wind. But most people who know me would just assume that I like violent action movies, no one has bothered to ask.

Guest64: I listen to all kinds of music, but I love crooner music. Anything like Frank Sinatra or Michael Buble. But again most people who know me would probably assume that I am all about country music, or some kind of rock.

Guest64: As for sports, well I like them.

Bound4Broadway: But…?

Guest64: But nothing, I like them and I play them. They aren't all that define me.

Bound4Broadway: I never said they did. But maybe others do?

Guest64: Sometimes. I play for my school, and everyone sees me as the Jock, but I am more than that. It's just no one chooses to see that. I get mostly A's and B's, I like to read, and sometimes I even write. But no one knows.

Guest64: I admit that I hide some of it. I am not out. And sometimes its just too easy to use the 'Jock' as a barrier to hide everything that could potentially make me seem less, well less straight.

Bound4Broadway: Ok, so are you comfortable with who you are. When you look in the mirror are you okay with who you see?

There is a long pause. I almost think that he has left, but Guest64 is still signed in. I am about to say something when I finally get a response.

Guest64: Before, yes. Now….

Bound4Broadway: Well then you have a chance to change that. You are the only person who gets to decide who you are. If you choose to change, you will. I know it won't be easy, hell, its going to be hard. But if you are willing to you can.

Guest64: Maybe. I'm just not sure that I am ready.

Bound4Broadway: You just have to go at your own speed. Take your time. Until then if you like we can continue to talk.

Guest64: I think I would like that. But I do have some obligations so when can we talk next?

Bound4Broadway: I also have some after school activities, How about Wednesdays. I am usually free after 4:30.

Guest64: Works for me.

The door upstairs opens and I hear my dad calling for me.

Bound4Broadway: Well, I would love to stay and chat some more, but I hear my dad calling, so I will talk to you on Wednesday.

Guest64: kk

Guest 64: Thanks

Bound4Broadway: Anytime. J

So I am not sure what to expect from this glee gathering in the auditorium. Neither Rachel or Miss Holiday are here yet and no one has any clue what is going on. How I found myself in between Quinn and Finn I will never know. But Finn and I have not talked too much since the whole Lady Gaga thing. I know that we are friends (kindof) and that our parents are dating but there really isn't a whole lot of conversation there.

But surprisingly Quinn and I have been talking for a little while now. After a short lull in the conversation…

"Kurt, are you okay?"

I am a little taken aback by this. Someone has actually noticed that things are not perfect, even though I try to act as though nothing is bothering me.

"I am fine Quinn, why do you ask?"

"Well for one, you can't bullshit a bullshiter, and two, you haven't been quite your self for the last few weeks."

I try to come up with something to say, but I am lost for words. Not even my best friends noticed that something was wrong. But here is Quinn, runner up to my ice queen act, looking at me all knowingly.

"Its okay if you don't want to talk here, but stay back with me after whatever Rachel is going to do. I think its time you and I had a chat."

With the look she gives me I know that she wants to help, and that I will not be escaping this conversation. Its going to happen whether I like it or not.

So after an amazing performance from Rachel and Miss Holiday I find my self up on stage with Quinn trying to avoid eye contact.

"So Kurt, what is going on with you? Has Finn been harassing you again? I thought you guys were over that?"

"Its not Finn."

"Then who is it. I know that someone has been doing something. Is it that kid from Dalton?"

"No, Blaine has been wonderful actually."

"So are you guys together?"

"What! No!"

"Sorry, I just thought-"

"Thought what? That Kurt finally found a gay boy and is going to instantly hook up with him?"

"That isn't what I meant. Look I know that we have never really talked and you have no reason to trust me, but Kurt, I can see the pain that you are hiding. I know that something happened to you and that you are holding inside. I know because last year I did the same thing. I didn't handle that situation the right way, I hurt people I cared about and I paid the price for it. I didn't have a whole lot of people to turn to and I know what it feels like to keep a secret locked away. And in the end, it only brings hurt. Mostly to you but also to the ones who care about you. So if you don't want to tell me, then tell Mercedes, or your dad. Just talk to someone."

Its funny. Yesterday I gave the same speech to David. And here is Quinn giving it to me. I know that I can't tell her everything, but I do need to tell more people. Only Blaine knows. But he isn't here all the time.

She starts to walk away, but I run up to her and grab her arm to stop her and turn her around.

"Someone kissed me."

"What! Who?"

"I can't tell you, its not my secret to share."

"Kurt?"

"I'm ok, or at least I will be."

"Why are you so shaken by all of this?"

"Because… he stole my first kiss. The first kiss that really mattered."

Before I know it Quinn envelops me in a hug. She doesn't say anything, she just holds me as the silent tears start to fall from my eyes. This is what I needed, what Blaine wasn't able to give me. Silent assurance. Assurance that everything would be okay, and that even though my first kiss was with some one too scared to be himself, I would be able to move on and possible find someone to give me a proper kiss.

We stand there for about five minutes before I move to pull away. I quickly hide my face in my hands and wipe the tears away. She grabs my chin and pulls it up and gets the ones I missed.

"Better?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"So do I have to kick someone's ass or are you going to be okay?"

"I will be good, I really needed that."

"Okay, well from now on when something happens just know that you can come to me if you need to."

"I will." She starts to turn away again "And Quinn, I am sorry that no one was there for you."

"I got the help I needed eventually. I was a spoiled brat and I acted like it. But this year is a new start for me. And contrary to popular belief I really like being in Glee club."

"Well if you need someone to talk to, you can come to me as well."

She smiles and walks out the door leaving me on the stage alone. But for the first time in a while, I don't feel completely alone, but at the same time…

Talking to myself and feeling old

Sometimes I'd like to quit

Nothing ever seems to fit

Hanging around

Nothing to do but frown

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

What I've got they used to call the blues

Nothing is really wrong

Feeling like I don't belong

Walking around

Some kind of lonely clown

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Funny but it seems that I always wind up here with you

Nice to know somebody loves me

Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do

Run and find the one who loves me

What I feel has come and gone before

No need to talk it out

We know what its all about

Hanging around

Nothing to do but frown

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do

Run and find the one who loves me

What I feel has come and gone before

No need to talk it out

We know what it's all about

Hanging around

Nothing to do but frown

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Hanging around

Nothing to do but frown

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Song- Rainy Days and Mondays by Emmy Rossum

AN: So here is another Chapter. As per my notes before, I like to change a few things. I have been thinking for a while that I like Quinn and that she and Kurt would be good friends. I have read a few fics where they are friends and I like just about all of them. I think that they can relate to each other on a different level. Also as of late, I am liking Blaine a whole lot less than I did when he first came on the show. I would like to keep a Klaine friendship but I am debating it. Thoughts? And as for the song choice, well I LOVE Emmy and this song is amazing, I highly recommend listening to everything she has on her album! You will probably be seeing more of her work later on. Also I am trying to think a head a little bit, Kurt is going to get a solo at sectionals, the only thing is I have no idea what I want to have him sing. I need suggestions! And Please Review! I really have no idea how I am doing with this and all comments and criticisms are very much appreciated!