Chapter 3 – Comfortable Silence
Authors Note - There are two separate flashbacks in this chapter, the switch between the two is notated with a date stamp. Thanks for all of the follows and reviews :) It means a lot. xx More reviews = faster updates :)
(July 2006)
Santana POV
I was already 2 months into my 2nd year at BU and time was flying by. Last year was turbulent to say the least. I had never experienced such a heavy course load, nor did I expect it to be so difficult. I suppose I should have though, law school wasn't meant to be easy. First year classes were designed to give students all of the necessary tools and information we needed for the rest of our careers, or at least that's what the professors told us. Personally I thought it was bullshit. Sitting down and memorizing facts and laws was necessary, I totally understood that, but cramming it all into the first 12 months was torture. Thank God Sugar dropped out in the beginning of first year, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to survive the stress of cramming all that crap into my brain and having her annoy the shit out of me every day.
Those first few months with her may have been more of a mind fuck than my entire time spent in law school so far and that was saying something. She was infuriating; I often daydreamed of ways I could exterminate the little cockroach. My favorite had to be the one Brittany helped me come up with. We decided that we could hire a hit-man, possibly Nicholas Cage, but we weren't opposed to Angelina Jolie either. We would have our hit-man kill Sugar and then we'd take over from there. To hide the evidence we would sneak her body into the science building and since Brittany had spent the past year shadowing various medical examiners and surgeons, she could embalm her before I hid her in a wall.
I remember the look on Brittany's face after we, well mostly I, came up with that little plan. She looked like I had just run over her puppy. The playful smirk that had graced her face was now replaced with a mix between fear and sadness. She started babbling on about how she didn't know how to embalm someone and was worried that maybe she'd missed a class or forgot to write something down. She was adorable when she got flustered. After I spent a good 30 minutes calming her down and promising her that the Ancient Egyptian ritual was not a prerequisite for Med School, her addictive bubbly personality appeared once more. We spent the next few hours after that studying and helping each other stay focused on our course work. Brittany also spent that time making me repeatedly swear that I wouldn't harm a hair on Sugar's 'pretty little head.' Her words, not mine. It was these biweekly study sessions that allowed our friendship to blossom throughout the year and from there we started spending a lot more time together. By the time second year rolled around we were significantly more comfortable with each other. It was nice; having Brittany in my life made each day a little brighter. I don't know what it was about her that enthralled me so much, but, whatever it was, it wasn't going away anytime soon. Brittany was definitely something special.
It was the second week in July and I had just arrived home from my first ever trial. Adrenaline was still coursing through my veins and my heart was beating like I had just run a marathon. "My first trial ever," I spoke aloud to myself, letting out a satisfactory sigh. I had been stressing about this case for over a week and today was my chance to prove myself. The second I walked into that courtroom, the nerves that had plagued my existence vanished and I immediately felt at ease. I knew my prosecutor, the witnesses and the defendant, and I knew exactly what I had to do. This was what I came here to do; not paperwork, not stupid little bullshit projects. This. I came here to fight for justice. And more importantly, I came to win. Today had been an amazing day and the first thing I wanted to do was tell someone about it.
My heart ached slightly when the first person I thought of was my mom. Every now and then it snuck up on me. She'd been gone for years, I didn't even know her that well, but sometimes I would just get an overwhelming urge to call her up and tell her everything that was going on in my life. It didn't take very long to pull myself out of the fantasy and focus on real people that I could actually talk to; I didn't like to dwell on things. I thought about calling my oldest friend Charlie, but I doubted that he would appreciate it. His line of work consisted of stacking shelves in a local grocery store, so I was sure that telling him about my success would just rub him the wrong way. I started browsing through my contact list, searching for someone to share my joy with, when I heard a knock at the door.
Still surging from my adrenaline injection, I leapt off of the couch and ran to the door. I forcefully yanked it open and there, standing in front of me, was Brittany. It took me a few moments to register her presence; we never really spent time at each other's apartments and her dropping by unexpectedly just added to my already stellar day. I pulled myself out of my drunkenly giddy state and invited her in. She closed the door quietly and quickly turned back around, pulling me into a bear tight hug. I felt myself mold to her, it was a perfect fit. When she released me I couldn't exactly recognize the expression on her face, and it troubled me slightly.
"What was that for and why are you looking at me like that?" I asked, laughing nervously to distract from my blushing.
"I'm proud of you silly! It was your big court case today, right? I wanna hear all the details San! I already know you kicked ass but I need to hear it from you directly," she paused for a moment to take a breath. She always spoke a mile a minute and sometimes she forgot to breathe. Even that was charming.
I watched the rise and fall of her chest carefully. It was amazing how Brittany managed to make something as mundane as breathing seem impressive. I looked down at the ground shyly, smiling inwardly to myself.
"Oh and by the way, after we have story time, I'm totally taking you to see a movie to celebrate," she announced. Her smile alone would have been enough for me today but no, she wanted to take me to a movie and she wanted to hear about my trial. I had to stop myself from choking up, it wasn't very often that anyone cared about what I did, unless I was threatening them to listen to me. It also wasn't very often I cared about what other people thought, but for some reason Brittany made me care. Her words had the ability to impact me and it was absolutely terrifying.
I looked up from the ground and smiled slightly, nodding my head. My cheeks were warm and my head was spinning. "Okay Britt. I'd really like that," I said genuinely, shortening her name into one syllable.
Brittany POV
When I was accepted into the M.D./Ph.D program at BU, I was both ecstatic and terrified. It was going to take major dedication on my part, but when you're passionate about something, the workload doesn't seem as daunting. Because I started in the EMSS program, I knocked out a few of my core classes early on in undergrad, so the first year of the medical program wasn't as full for me as it was for most of the other students. I had already taken my Gross Anatomy, Physiology, Biochemistry, Cell Biology, and Genetics classes, so I was able to focus on the more social aspect of the medical field, primarily Clinical Medicine and Public Health. Having a lesser course load first year, however, spoiled me. When second year rolled around, I was inundated by the research aspect; I spent the bulk of my time in the same study room that Santana and I had reserved during first year. Going there made studying at least partially enjoyable; I'd take five minute breaks and read over the little blurbs that we had graffitied onto the worn wooden table. Lots of them were inside jokes and some of them I couldn't even remember, but I'm sure that at the time they were written, we were howling.
Santana brought out the best in me. I was her sunshine and she was my rainbow. I could make her day brighter, but she was the one who always led me to the pot of gold, whether it was good advice or harsh truth. We believed in each other when we didn't have the energy to believe in ourselves, and that was how we worked. It was symbiotic. And it was beautiful. Though our time together was cut a bit shorter due to both of our increased workloads, it made seeing each other that much sweeter. We tried to text or email on days we knew we couldn't be face to face, but there were also those nights when one of us would show up randomly to the study room bringing gifts in the form of caffeine and snacks. Those nights were some of my favorites because we knew then that we had a mutual investment in each other.
I had started my rounds in first year and I absolutely loved them. Well, I loved a particular set of them. I became enthralled with pathology and by second year I was determined to become a medical examiner. It was like being a crime-fighting doctor. How much cooler could you get than that? Well, besides a superhero that is. Since red capes weren't exactly my thing, I stuck to my plan and gained a shadow position in the medical school's morgue. It may seem morbid, but the bodies didn't scare me. It was the people who were alive and capable of hurting someone to this extent that made me shake with fear. That's another reason I was Santana's number one fan. She wanted to put the bad guys away, and I wanted to help her do it.
In mid July, Santana had her first in-court trial. She had briefly mentioned it the week prior and my jaw had gone slack with wonder; I knew she'd do a stellar job. I may not be the best at remembering certain holidays or even birthdays, but when it came to Santana, I could remember everything, just like her coffee order. I was in the library, again, writing out the last dozen pages for my research paper on muscle contraction when I checked my computer clock. It was 12:30 pm and Santana had been in court for at least two hours already. I smiled to myself, shifted in my seat, and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and sent good vibes out into the universe, hoping maybe she'd feel my spirit there with her. I opened my eyes a few minutes later and focused my attention back to actin and myosin and the simplistic ratcheting cycle which allows our muscles to move. I shook my head slowly and picked up where I left off, describing the affects of rigor mortis. I took a few more of my five minute breaks, but every time I did my mind went straight to Santana and it became harder and harder for me to concentrate back on the task at hand; I finally gave up on taking breaks and worked straight through until 5:30 pm.
My brain felt fuzzy and my eyes were strained from looking at the computer screen all day, but I had finished my paper which I would edit later. I packed up everything and raced out of the study room. I hadn't texted Santana because I didn't know whether she'd have her phone on her and God forbid it go off in court. Unsure as to how long her trial would last, I took it upon myself to congratulate her in person, no matter how long I'd have to wait on her doorstep. For being as close as we were, I had been to her apartment only a handful of times, but the library was our mutual home anyway. When I got to the complex, the elevator was out of order and I groaned inwardly at the thought of Santana's small room on the 7th floor. It didn't matter. I'd climb all the way to heaven for her if I had to. I took the stairs two at a time and shuffled to her unit nearly breathless. The front door was thrown open within seconds of my knocking, and Santana's beautifully surprised face eased the burning in my lungs. I crossed the threshold, closed the door behind me, and pulled my closest friend into the tightest hug I could manage. My body felt ready to collapse, but I used her strength and excitement to keep us upright. When I pulled back away from her all I could do was stare. I was so incredibly proud of her that my heart was ready to burst. All it took was her simple nervous laughter and the rosy hue of her cheeks to send me into a verbal tizzy. My words spilled out like liquid and I could see them wash over her like summer rain. I couldn't contain my most radiant smile as I watched her ride out the emotions waging war inside. She was excited and pumped and proud and nervous and perhaps even a little embarrassed, and all of those faces looked so incredibly stunning on her. I waited patiently until she brought her shy gaze to mine.
"Okay Britt. I'd really like that," she hushed, her complexion still tinted a pale pink. Her words filled me with a tingly feeling that was warm like peppermint and it made my own features blaze with heat. She led me to her small sofa and her excitement once again poured out in waves. She described everything, down to the last detail, even the pattern on the defendant's tie, and when she finished she sat back breathless, her eyes wide and her smile beaming. My smile matched hers and we sat there like two grinning fools for a good five minutes. She shook her head then and let another nervous laugh bubble up.
"Now that I've verbally written my day in novella form, tell me about yours," she said, her eyes catching mine which made my throat constrict slightly. I looked away in mock concentration.
"Mine? Oh, well compared to yours, it was boring. I was in our study room all day writing about how ATP conversion to ADP in the myosin cycle allows…" I looked back at her and her eyes had glazed over which meant she didn't understand anything I was saying. She was still listening though, and that alone made my heart soar. "I had to write about muscle movement and stuff," I explained, shrugging my shoulders and giving her a soft smile. "But now that my paper is done and your trial is over, we can have a little fun, yeah?" I reached out and lightly shoved her shoulder before getting off the couch and stretching out my limbs. "I really wanna see Deep Sea in 3D IMAX. It'll be like we're mermaids!" I turned back around and placed both hands over my breasts. "Only, we won't have to wear those shell bra things," I giggled, giving my breasts a slight squeeze before dropping my hands to my sides. "Come on. Let's go get our Ariel on." I grabbed her hand and pulled her off the couch. She was groaning and mumbling about not wanting to spend that much money on a stupid documentary, but my mind was made up. No amount of Santana grumbles were going to prevent a night of pure relaxation.
Santana POV
We arrived at the theater 30 minutes earlier than we needed to. Brittany insisted that we did so in order to get the best possible seats and no matter how many times I tried to tell her it wouldn't be a problem, she refused to listen. This was the first time she and I had gone to a movie together. To most people this would have seemed strange, but Brittany and I were a different breed of friends. We didn't have to go anywhere or do anything to want to hang out with each other. We were perfectly content just sitting together in silence, which would be just as fun as a movie. That's what I thought at least.
Today I was introduced to a different side of Brittany and I loved every minute of it. Going to the theater brought out a childlike innocence in her that was completely foreign to me. I didn't really spend a lot of time at movie theaters growing up. When you don't have a real family, seeing movies isn't exactly on the top of your to do list. I did however see the occasional movie here and there throughout the years. I would usually go on my own though; it was my little escape from the world. Now I had the pleasure of sharing that with Brittany, or I guess I should say a 10 year old in Brittany's body.
After spending so much time over the past year, listening to her talk about the procedures to identify dead bodies and all the different ways to determine causes of death I was fairly confident that she was the smartest woman I'd ever known. I admired her passion and I enjoyed her quirkiness more than anything. This new side of her was just something to add to the ever expanding list of things I loved. She was Brittany and, to me, she was perfect.
I finally managed to get us into our seats after returning to the concession stand three separate times. The first was for drinks, the second for popcorn and the third for candy, just for good measure. The IMAX stadium was the size of 4 regular movie theaters. I'd never been to one before and I didn't understand how I would be able to watch the whole movie; I couldn't even see the entire screen without moving my head on a swivel.
We sat down together in seats 5a and 5b. I tried to position the snacks around her so she could reach everything, but I failed miserably. She chuckled at my attempt and told me that it was a valiant effort. It seemed like creating little trays of snacks to orbit planet Brittany probably was out of the question. The theater started to fill up quickly and I silently prayed for the seats in front of us to stay vacant. The last thing I wanted was a whale ruining Brittany's underwater experience. I chuckled to myself, noting the unintentional joke I just made in my head. This, in return, earned me a quizzical look and a lighthearted giggle from Brittany. I needed to learn to limit the conversations I had in my head.
Brittany squealed and clapped her hands as the previews started. I glanced over at her and couldn't help but smile, I was basking in the glow of her happiness while simultaneously admiring her existence. I knew at this point that I wouldn't be able to see another movie alone again. The Brittany experience was so much more enjoyable. It continued to amaze me how comfortable and happy she made me, without even doing anything. People say that when you're hurt or angry or sad that you should find your happy place. Well, I was starting to believe that Brittany was my happy place. She was the closest friend I'd ever had.
About half way through the movie, there was a section dedicated sharks. Ever since I could remember, I had a fear of sharks. It's actually pretty unreasonable. I'd never been in the ocean, I'd never even seen one up close, but they still managed to scare the living hell out of me. My nails were digging into the fabric of my chair and I tried to make it seem like I was looking at the screen when really, I had my eyes glued shut. I listened to the sound of the narrator's voice, paying close attention so I would know when I could open my eyes again.
He was describing the different types of sharks and where they originated from. I had to admit that it was actually pretty interesting with my eyes closed, open I would beg to differ though. I loosened my grip on my arm rest as I lost myself in his soothing voice and felt a hand reach out for mine and intertwine our fingers. My eyes shot open instantly and I looked down at Brittany's lap. Our fingers were interlaced together like a carefully woven quilt, resting gently in her lap. I looked up at her, searching for her eyes to meet my own but they didn't, they just stayed fixated on the screen. I turned my head back towards the movie; the sharks were gone but I was even more terrified now than I was when they were there.
I felt Brittany's thumb stroke my hand softly before squeezing a little tighter. My heart was working overdrive to keep up. She kept her eyes on the screen as she leaned over to me and whispered, "I just wanted to make sure you didn't float away with the sharks." My lips curled up into a satisfied smile and I held her hand a little tighter. I didn't want to say anything back to her mainly fearing the loss of our newly acquired contact. So I just sat there and smiled. I think in my heart I knew that this was one of those moments that didn't need words; our actions said it all. I sat there in a blissful silence for the next hour, watching the movie and enjoying Brittany's company. It was official, Brittany S. Pierce was my best friend in the entire world.
Brittany POV
Going to the movies was never just something to do when I was a kid. It was more like a mini vacation. We'd pack our purses full of candy and drinks and sneak them into the theater so we didn't have to pay the outrageous prices for the same items at the concession stand. Unfortunately, I only remembered this family trick once Santana and I had arrived at the theater, both purse-less. It didn't really matter anyway, she probably would have given me her haughty look of disapproval before listing off all of the laws I was breaking. I always enjoyed listening to her explain different facets of the justice system, but sometimes her vast knowledge of the law was irritating, like the week before when she chastised me for J- walking. But, a movie just wasn't a movie unless there were snacks, both salty and sweet, and something to wash them down. Evidently Santana wasn't privy to this knowledge as she had to return to the concession counter multiple times to fill our, well, my, order correctly.
With the right amount of goodies in hand, we finally made our way into the theater and took our seats. The room loomed around us like an underground cave, and I couldn't quell the excitement that bubbled in my stomach like champagne. My body was humming with anticipation and I felt ready to churn over into a fit of giggles. There was something about going to the movies that revved me into a good mood. I always loved putting myself into make believe worlds and pretending that the bad things in life could stop with just the simple declaration of, "CUT!"
I was especially excited about this movie, and not just because of the company I held. I always found documentaries fascinating, and a documentary about the ocean? It was like the best combination ever. The ocean was beautiful and dark and mysterious and intriguing, all at the same time, kind of like Santana. She was my ocean girl. At times she would be raging like a tidal storm and at others she'd be as calm as a harbored bay. Navigating those moods took more skill than any sailor could dream of, but for some reason I sailed through her emotions with the confidence of a captain.
There was hardly a time when the two of us didn't end up giggling, and trying to arrange our array of snacks was no different. Huffing lightly, we ultimately decided on creating a little candy factory line along the arm rest between us. When the previews started my excitement reached its climax, and after a few claps and a small fist pump, I settled back into my seat and looked over to find Santana beaming at me with a toothy grin. I let her smile fill me to the brim with joy before shooting her a playful wink and turning back to the screen. I held the bag of popcorn in my lap throughout most of the movie and every so often Santana would reach over and grab a small handful. Usually I can't pry my eyes away from what I'm watching, but I could see her movement in my peripheral vision and it would make me look down to watch her hand glide in and out of the bag, gracefully silent. That's what she was, graceful. Everything about her was graceful. The batting of her eyelashes, the light stroking of her tongue over her bottom lip when she was nervous, the way she flipped her hair over her shoulder effortlessly. I had to will myself to bring my gaze back to the screen in front of me; I didn't pay $12 to stare at Santana. I was lucky enough that I got to do that for free.
I could feel the nervous energy radiating off of Santana when the sharks swam across the screen. I didn't know what caused that fear, but the thought of her heart beating fast and her palms sweating made my own stomach twist. I reached over and pulled her hand into my lap, intertwining our fingers like vines. She wouldn't be able to really see my face in the dark, so instead of looking over at her, I stroked my thumb over her knuckle and hoped that she knew I wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. "I just wanted to make sure you didn't float away with the sharks," I reassured her, keeping my voice low so that the other movie goers didn't glare at us. I could feel her relax and as she squeezed my hand tighter my heart throbbed. I would do anything to protect her. Santana Lopez was the best friend I'd ever had.
December 2007 (Graduation approaching)
Britttany POV
My head was buzzing. Finals were literally leeching the energy out of me. I had never in my life had to cram so much information into my mind at once. It was a new low for me when Santana found me in the study room, my cheek plastered to my anatomy book, a tiny pool of drool soaking into the pages. She rubbed my back and woke me slowly, being careful not to startle me. Once I was lucid, she pulled a pack of little white pills from her purse and slid them across the table to me. She explained that the only way I was going to make it through finals would be to take the caffeine pills now and then crash into a quasi-coma once exams were over. I hesitated until she told me that they worked wonders for her. I knew she'd never hurt me, so I popped a pill out of the foil and swallowed it with a quick sip from my water bottle. I guess I had to learn at some point that caffeine and I, we just don't mix.
There I was, 48 hours post caffeine pill consumption and I had yet to sleep. We were in Santana's bedroom and my body was trembling slightly from the adrenaline and caffeine pumping through my veins. She had one of her huge red law books open on her lap and her legs were draped over mine so that her feet were almost touching my thigh. I peeked out from behind my note card and giggled softly as she subconsciously wiggled her toes. I took the movement as an invitation; I set my note card aside and pressed my sharpie to her skin. Phalange, Metatarsal, Talus, Calcaneus, Tibia, Fibula. I marked her body, writing the anatomical structures in their corresponding locations. She pulled her foot away with a shriek of laughter.
"What the hell Britt, you know I'm ticklish as fuck!" she exclaimed, her smile outshining her irritation. "Keep your mitts to yourself, Point Dexter," she teased, going back to her reading and slowly lowering her legs over my lap again. I couldn't help myself. Once her concentration was re-focused on her legal mumbo jumbo, I scrawled out Patella and Femur on her warm, caramel skin. She slammed her book closed and pointed her finger at me. "You. Are so dead," she threatened, tackling me and tickling my sides. I couldn't breathe. My head was spinning and my body was legitimately starting to shake.
"Santana…stop. STOP!" I screamed out as if she were jabbing me with knives instead of using the soft pads of her fingertips. She reeled back in fear and I couldn't even console her. I felt like my mind was trying to pry itself away from my body and my brain was slowly melting to goo inside of my skull. I started crying for no reason and my chest shook with my sobs.
"I'm never gonna sleep again!" I wailed, hot tears pouring out from the corners of my eyes. "That white pill had some stupid ugly black magic in it and now I can't sleep even though my eyeballs hurt from looking at stuff all the time. And then I'll be awake forever and I'll never have my mermaid dreams again and Horris will feel like I abandoned him and he'll never like me ever again." My rambling words came out in choked hiccups that made my sides ache. She stared at me with mouth agape and eyes as big as saucers.
"W-Who's Horris?" she asked, her voice drenched in apprehension and concern, navigating my breakdown to the best of her ability.
That was when I really snapped. I lost all control over my mind and body as sobs wracked through me like thunder. I couldn't even answer her. My body heaved with frustration and exhaustion and I let my wails swarm around us in angry pulsation. I could feel the shift in the mattress as she got up, but I had neither the energy nor frame of mind to follow her movement. Soft music suddenly filled the room and my heart rate instantaneously began to slow. Warm, gentle hands cupped around my face before sliding down my neck, over my shoulders, along my arms and finally coming to rest in my hands. I was guided into a sitting position, my cries having morphed into incessant hiccups, before being pulled against Santana's warm body. Her strong arms curled around me and I melted into her embrace. She rocked us slowly, matching the calming beat of the sweet melody. Even at my worst, she was there to put me back together.
Santana POV
I had never felt so guilty in my entire life. One minute we were laughing and joking around and the next we were spiraling downward into a black abyss. I had taken caffeine pills every year during finals and they never had the effect on me that they did on Brittany. When her laughter turned to panic I immediately stopped tickling her and backed away slowly. What I saw next was enough to break my heart. A fragile, sleep deprived, little girl, crying on my bed. She was trying to talk to me through muffled cries, but it was no use; I couldn't understand anything she said other than someone named Horris was going to be angry with her.
Seeing her cries worsen put me on auto pilot. I needed to stop standing there so useless and frigid and do something. I put on my Yiruma album of soft and relaxing piano music and turned down the lights. I carefully made my way over to her and sat down on the bed beside her. She was shaking rapidly and her breathing was uneven, unsure of what to do next I just decided to follow my gut.
I reached out behind her and pulled her close to me as I scooted down the bed. Her whole body curled into me as I wrapped my arms around her. I wasn't used to this; I was never this intimate with anyone, but, like everything else Brittany related, this just felt right. Her body fit perfectly against mine, connecting effortlessly like the last piece to a jigsaw puzzle. I rubbed small circles into her back and her crying died down. I leaned forward a little to reach for my blanket and she tensed up in my arms, making my body shiver knowing that she wanted to be close to me. I pulled the blanket over us and she moved further into me, her head, resting near the crook of my neck. I knew I was supposed to be consoling her, but I couldn't help but think about my own emotions. Being there with her, so close and so connected, made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. When I felt her nuzzle closer into me the butterflies took flight in my stomach and I could feel my heart warming up for the first time.
I momentarily ripped myself from my own thoughts to monitor her condition. She was breathing steadily and she had a fistful of my shirt in her left hand; sleep was finally relieving her from the turmoil. I, on the other hand, was awake and realizing that the girl laying in my arms may be the person I would have spent a lifetime searching for. She was everything good and kind in this world; she was loving, compassionate and had been my best friend for the past few years. I couldn't believe it took me this long to see it. I had fallen for Brittany. The thought brought tears to my eyes. I held onto her as I let saltwater silently flow from my eyes. How could I have not realized this sooner? It was too late now, graduation was approaching and we'd both be going off to start our lives. I didn't even know if she was attracted girls at all. I willed my tears to stop and turned my upper body so that I could have a better view of the sleeping beauty in my arms. I ran my fingers through her hair and caressed her cheek with my thumb. "Oh Brittany. I'm so sorry," I whispered before letting one last tear escape and roll down my cheek. I leaned forward to kiss her forehead but her head repositioned in her sleep causing my lips to meet hers. I pulled away quickly, gasping at the unexpected contact. She hummed contently, still asleep, and draped her arm over my stomach, pulling me closer.
The shock from the kiss subsided after a little while and sleep threatened to take hold of me. I had so many unanswered questions and I didn't even know where to begin. All I knew was I couldn't tell Brittany about the kiss; I needed to figure out how to tell her how I felt without bringing that up. Everything would be different after this. Was it really worth it to risk such a rare friendship just to see if she liked me romantically? I was too tired to think any longer and fighting sleep became nearly impossible. I eventually drifted off with one final thought crossing my mind. What if she feels the same way about me?
REVIEW :) XX
NoobNoMo: Firstly, thank you for your review, it is much appreciated! Hopefully this chapter's length is a plus haha. As far as the inner dialogue being similar, right now Brittany and Santana are in the same sort of mindset, so similar reactions and thoughts can be expected. At the end of this chapter we see a shift, which is hopefully noticeable. Rest assured, as the characters develop, they will indeed have different ways of going about things. As per your other question, the writing is split up with Becca writing as Santana and Haylee writing as Brittany. When you see dialogue in one POV, it is still written from the author of that main character, but we always ask permission or even send the paragraph to one another so that we can see how the other character would respond in the other author's opinion. We really try not to Godmod. (PS, I'm really happy you like 'brain landslide' as it was an attempt at bringing forth a bit of canon imagery)
To all other reviewers, thank you for your input and we look forward to hearing from you again! If you have any questions, feel free to leave a review or drop something in our tumblr ask box: ask
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