Authors Note - Hello darlings, thank you for all the wonderful reviews/follows and so on, also a big thank you for being so patient. Cranking out 11,000 words per chapter is time consuming! Here's a little bit of info for some of you that don't understand where the story is going. Basically all of these chapters are leading up to present day Brittana, the main story has yet to be revealed, it has been hinted at throughout the chapters but you'll have to keep reading to see where we plan on going with this. This story will most likely end up being the first installment in a trilogy. Follow the breakingdownandcomingtogethe r tumblr for exclusives, information on upcoming soundtracks and pictures to go along with our story
So without further adieu, here it is. Chapter 5.
Chapter 4 Recap
Brittany & Santana graduated
We were introduced to Kurt & Blaine
Brittana Kiss!
Brittany is in New York, but Santana doesn't know
Until Brittany walks up behind her in the cafe, reciting her coffee order
New York City - November 2008
Santana's POV
It was a crisp November morning in New York, I was still getting used to the bitter cold wind and the 2 feet of snow that had glued itself to the ground since October. I had been in New York for a total of 3 months, though it seemed like a lot longer. Kurt managed to get me the job with SVU and I couldn't have been happier; actually that's a lie, yes I could have. It didn't matter that I lived in a beautiful city, had a great job that paid well and was finally accomplishing my dreams. None of it mattered, not without Brittany. September 7th, 4:15pm. That was when I received the phone call that broke my heart. I should have seen it coming, but for some reason I chose not to pay attention to the distance that continued to tear us apart.
She attempted to contact me several times after that phone call but I couldn't bring myself to reply; that was how I worked. The only way to move on from someone and continue with your life was to break all ties and ignore all attempts to contact, or at least that's what I thought. It was two months later and she was still on my mind constantly; I couldn't shake the memory of her or the overwhelming feeling that I should have fought harder. My heart ached the most during the evening, at work I could push the thought of her out of my mind but at night her radiant smile haunted my dreams. I had accepted the fact that even though I'd never see her again, I would never love anyone else like I did her. She was one of a kind, she would always be my Brittany.
I left my apartment at 6:30am on November 13th. I had my first trial that afternoon and I wanted to head over to the precinct early to review the notes on the case. Rachel Berry or, 'the troll patrol' as I liked to call her was my sad excuse for a boss. She nit-picked every single thing I did and hovered over me like a fly for the first three months I worked for the NYPD, making sure I was ready for this day. For once she was going to let me do the talking, unlike every other time in court where she would cut me off mid-sentence and take over the prosecution all on her own. She was a controlling, loud mouthed mother fucker and I suspected she would continue to be the bane of my existence for the remainder of my career.
The precinct was only 5 blocks away from my apartment, but that didn't stop me from driving there. If my hair spent more than five minutes exposed to the cold it would be a static nightmare and God knows I couldn't deal with that today. I parked my Honda across the street from The Bean Street Cafe and grabbed my heels from the back seat before heading inside. Heels were a part of my signature look; being taller intimidated people and being 5'3 didn't exactly help me out in that department. I made up for being vertically challenged by adding heels to every work outfit and sporting a quick-witted tongue that impressed even the most seasoned lawyers and detectives. I could talk circles around most of the attorneys in this city, outsmarting them with my wealth of knowledge and knocking them off their pedestals with my abrasive verbal bashing at the drop of a hat. I'm almost positive that's why I was hired so quickly, along with Kurt's recommendation of course. The Captain wanted someone ruthless and persistent, which described my personality perfectly, but it's a whole different story if you're tactfully ruthless and that's how I stood out. All I needed was a year to prove myself, then Troll Berry would be the one taking orders from me.
As I walked through the cafe door, I inhaled the familiar aroma of roasted coffee beans, something I would never get tired of. Coffee was part of my daily routine. It had been that way for the past 8 years and it wasn't going to change anytime soon. The only thing was that now, every time I ordered it, I couldn't help but think of a certain blonde barista who screwed up my simple order over 3 years ago. That cup of coffee was the worst thing I had ever tasted, but it was my favorite cup anyone's ever made for me.
I walked to the counter as I ran my fingers through my messy dark curls. My hair had never been this long before but I was growing to like it, even though it was a bitch to dry in the morning. I stepped up to the barista, ready to place my order, when I heard a chillingly familiar voice speak from behind me.
"Columbian Blend, one sugar, no milk, extra strong."
I hesitantly turned around and was met with Brittany's piercing blue eyes. Stunned didn't even begin to describe how I was feeling, she smiled at me as she scanned my face for a reaction.
"Miss? Miss! Do you want to order or not?" The barista called out impatiently as a line now formed behind us, leading towards the door.
I whipped my head around to look at the source of the rude interruption. My glare was enough to scar the teenage boy for life, but I felt that words were a nice cherry to the top of the proverbial cake. "Calm your tits, Pizza face. You're here to serve me, remember? You'll wait as long as I need you to, damn it!" I spat out, staring him down with my signature bitch glare.
Brittany walked past me and handed the boy a $5 bill. "Here, just take the order I gave you and keep the change," she said politely before turning back to me and guiding me over to a table. I still hadn't said anything to her, mostly because I was convinced I was dreaming, but also because in my heart I was still angry with her. Despite that anger, I managed to pull myself out of my haze before we sat down. I reached for her arm and pulled her into me engulfing her in a bone crushing hug.
"Brittany, I never thought-" I held her tighter and tucked my face into her neck, breathing in the sweet lavender that had been absent from my life for far too long. I felt like an addict that had relapsed after being in rehab; Brittany was intoxicating in the best possible way. "How are you here right now?"
I pulled away to take in her features, recommitting them to memory, not wanting to ever look at anything else ever again. She snaked her hand into my own and looked at me the way she did on graduation day, with eyes full of indescribable love and hope.
"I live here. I've only been in town a little while but I got offered a job with SVU. Tana, I've missed you, more than I can even tell you and I'd be lying if I said I came out here just for the job." Brittany inched closer to me, looking between my eyes and parted lips. People were probably staring at us but at this point I couldn't care about anything that wasn't the love of my life standing in front of me. Did I hear her correctly? She's working in the same unit as me and she already lives out here? Wait, what was that about not just coming out here for the job? My mind was exploding with questions but before I could think to ask one she closed the gap between us and pressed her lips against mine.
Her kiss breathed new life into me; soft lips molded with my own and parted them, allowing our tongues to dance gracefully together for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. I could feel all of the emotions bubbling up inside of me, the one's I had felt during that last day at school. It was out of my control, everything was flooding back. It was like she'd come home; she was back in my arms where she belonged.
November 13th, 7:15am was when my heart started beating again.
We reluctantly broke the kiss and sat down at a table by the window. I'm not sure if the barista ever brought over my coffee, but I do know that It didn't even matter if he did, I wouldn't have cared. We stared at each other for a while, our hands locked tightly together; I think we were afraid of the loss of contact. I was the first one to break the silence.
"I'm sorry. I'm still trying to process this whole thing. You're telling me, you're living here, in New York AND you're working for Special Victims?" I looked for confirmation, still not quite grasping the magnitude of the conversation. She nodded her head and smiled genuinely at me, squeezing my hand even tighter.
"I wanted to tell you sooner but I thought-" She stopped, looking down at the ground solemnly. It was like a ghost had just passed through her. I could see the color drain from her face as she recalled the events of the past few months. A twinge of pain plucked at the strings of my heart and I couldn't help but interrupt her.
"Hey, look at me," I said, searching for her eyes to meet my own.
"I never stopped." I paused for a moment trying to find the courage to continue.
"Remember the day we were studying and you flipped out on me because I had trash everywhere? First of all, you're lucky I didn't go balls to the wall on your ass-" Brittany laughed, appreciating the fact that I'd lightened the mood a little.
"Secondly," I continued, taking her hand firmly between both of my own.
"That was the first time I told you I loved you, Britt. And since then, I haven't stopped...I haven't stopped loving you." I looked down quickly, suddenly feeling shy and vulnerable at my confession. I couldn't help it, I did love her. No matter what had happened over the past few months, my heart still craved her love and I couldn't deny that she made me happier than anyone ever had.
She looked up at me through tear-filled eyes and kissed my palm before holding it to her cheek. "I love you too, Santana. I've loved you all along. I'm sorry about not keeping my promise. It was just so hard, being away from you hurt so much and then we stopped talking and-" I cut her off before she could work herself up too much more.
"Listen, you're here now okay? We're here now. Let's just start over; clean slate?" I cooed, looking up at her with hope.
"Start over? But I don't want to be your friend. I can't go through 3 years of pretending not to love you San, I just can't!" Brittany huffed and shook her head violently at my suggestion. I chuckled lightly at her misconception. I had missed how cute she looked when she panicked.
"Come on Britt Britt, you know me, I couldn't do that either. I mean let's start over from where we left off at graduation. Like, how about I take you out on a date?" Her face lit up at my suggestion and I gave myself a mental high five for being so smooth. Brittany always helped me learn new things about myself and I was definitely not the romantic type, but when It came to her I was willing to be anything she needed me to be. I wanted to be someone she deserved.
"I'd like that, a lot," she beamed, leaning over to capture my lips in a kiss once again. A feeling of contentment wrapped me up in a warm blanket and we fell into a comfortable silence, just staring at each other and grinning like teenagers. It wasn't until I glanced at the clock that I remembered where I was supposed to be.
"SHIT!" I yelled, jumping out of my chair. "Britt, I'm late for work! It's 8:40! I gotta go. Fuck, the court case is in a few hours!" I fumbled around looking for my purse and cell phone, internally scolding myself for losing track of time. "Shit, Rachel is going to have my ass on a platter!"
"Oh my God, Beiste is going to kill me! I'm late too!" She cried, scrambling to gather her things just as I did. "I'm going to get fired before I even get to play with a corpse!"
"Hurry up Britt!" I called out, opening the door for her as she ran out of the cafe towards the precinct. We sprinted inside the building, greeting the security guards and brandishing our badges before rushing over to the elevator. The down arrow flashed, signaling that it was time for her to leave me. She looked over and beamed me her award winning smile before stepping inside. "I'll see you later?" she asked nervously. "Definitely." I replied grinning wildly back at her as the door closed and we were separated once again. She had been out of my sight for less than 10 seconds and I already missed her. I continued to press the elevator button furiously as I impatiently waited for my lift. My arrow finally chimed and at the same time so did my phone.
Text from Britt: Tomorrow, 7:30pm. I'll be ready and waiting at 36 Cooper Square for you to pick me up for our date.
Text from Britt: Ps. I miss you already too (:
I smiled brightly as I typed out my reply, readying myself to kick ass on the case I had waiting for me. Still, with court on my mind and a full work day ahead of me I couldn't help but dwell on one particular thought.
I knew she'd keep her promise.
Brittany's POV
My head was swimming. I woke up completely ready to take on my training day and in one life altering moment my attention was zapped. I didn't even hear the ding of the elevator or see the doors open to the long stretch of hallway that lead to the Coroner's Office. I was glued to my spot as my mind flashed back to what I could only assume was a surreal daydream brought on by lack of sleep and inner yearning. I closed my eyes and the doors did the same; I was being lifted higher even though I already felt like I was floating. All I could think about was Santana and a morning graced by the gods.
Out of the millions of people in this city, she waltzed into the same coffee shop that I was lounging in. Fate laid a hand, and I wasn't turning my back on it. Her temper was as easily stoked as ever, but it stemmed from shock and disbelief and not from actual malevolence. I defused the situation with my natural ease and guided her away to cover us in our own bubble of privacy. When Santana's eyes locked on mine, something within me caught fire. It was like the little flame of my adoration for her blazed with the strength of a thousand suns. Seeing her face, hearing her voice, touching her skin, all brought that searing decadence back into my body. I was instantly charged by the electricity between us and I couldn't focus my attention on anything, except her. Her hair was longer, her skin a shade darker, and her eyelashes were doubly thick, but she was still Santana. I couldn't tear my eyes away and the urge to taste her was overwhelming. Our kiss literally filled me with whatever it was that had been missing for those five months we spent apart; it was like satisfying a craving I'd had for a lifetime. I grasped onto her as if she'd dissipate like a fine mist and reveled in the sweet melody of her reassuring voice.
The second time, the chime of the elevator ushered in a crowd of New York's finest and I was jostled out of my trance-like state. Slightly confused, I rode the lift to the second floor and once again found myself alone in the small compartment when the men and women in blue took to their posts. I was about to hit the SB button to take me back down to the sub-basement exam room, but my hand trailed upward and punched the number 3. I had to know if the morning was only in my mind or if Santana was really here, just four flights above me.
My stomach flipped when I exited onto the stone floor that soaked up the muffled sound of my soft-soled sneakers. No one was at the main desk so I wandered down the hallway of my own accord. I had no idea where her office would be, or if it even existed; I was still in a mental state of denial and overpowering hope. Halfway down the corridor a tall, lanky mail clerk pushed his cart into the hall without looking and ran over my foot.
"Ow!" I yelped, jumping away from the blindsided attack and lifting my foot into the air, rotating my ankle.
"Oh man, I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you? Do you need ice or something?" His dopey face contorted with worry as he reached forward to steady me.
"No, I'm fine." I was about to breeze by him when a thought light bulb beamed. "Wait. You're the mail boy, right? Do you know where Santana Lopez's office is?" My words squeaked out with excitement and hope and I wrung my hands together in anticipation.
"Mail clerk," he corrected, puffing out his chest, allowing me to read his ID badge.
"Oh, right. Sorry…Finn." I addressed him by his name to stroke his obviously fragile ego and repeated my question with an underlying sternness to my voice; I didn't have time for his haughtiness. "Santana Lopez's office?" I urged.
He looked me up and down slowly and thrust his thumb over his right shoulder. "Last door on the left. Can't miss it; it's the one with the constant flow of cuss words." He backed up his trolley and let me pass, muttering a soft, "good luck" as I power walked down the hall.
Finn's description of 'foul-mouth central' made me giggle and I was already beaming by the time I reached the glass-paned door. This is real, I thought to myself, tracing my finger over the black script of her name that labeled the glass. I opened the door without knocking and closed it behind me with a soft click; her back was to me as she rifled through the manila folders in her metal filing cabinet.
"I told you I'd bring you the updated brief when I was finished, Berry. Fuck. Just give me a damn minute," she huffed without turning.
I crossed the room in five fast strides and whipped her around to face me. Her hand shot out to defend herself, but I could read her reaction in an instant. I grabbed her wrist before she could smack me and crashed my lips against hers. I let go of her wrist and her hand shot back to tangle into my hair that I had yet to fasten into a pony tail. I wrapped my arms around her middle and pulled her into me. She was my height in her crazy heels so I didn't have to lift, so I used my strength to pull her body flush against mine. She tugged on my hair as our kiss deepened with need and longing and I lost myself in the coffee tinged taste of her mouth.
My mind was starting to swirl as the lack of oxygen to my brain took effect; even my lungs burned angrily. I broke our kiss and stared at her swollen lips while breathing hard, drawing sweet relief into my aching chest, which spread to my head. "I couldn't…I had to…" My words came out in broken pants and my brain and mouth couldn't agree on what to say. She stared back at me, her hot, labored breaths mixing with my own. She said nothing and before I could catch my breath fully, her lips were molding to mine slowly. Our kissing, once fiercely passionate, morphed into a slow, deep burn that told me everything I needed to know. She missed me, just as I had missed her, and that alone was enough for me to forgive all the unanswered texts and her brutal way of cutting me out.
We broke apart slowly and I kept my eyes closed so I could remember the way she tasted for years to come. This kiss. This was the kiss I would tell people about when they asked how I knew Santana was the one for me. I fluttered my eyes open and delved into her loving gaze before sharing a soft smile with her. "36 Cooper Square," I breathed against her lips softly, never breaking eye contact. She nodded silently and I pulled away from her. I felt whole for the first time in months and with the knowledge that this was indeed happening, I could once again feel the invisible cord that tethered my heart to hers.
Santana's POV
I had been sitting outside her apartment for 15 minutes. I was a little early, actually I was half an hour early. Her brownstone looked impressive from the outside but I couldn't shake the persistent curiosity that tugged away at my chest. I wanted to know what the inside looked like; more than anything I wanted to know if she had our pictures on display anywhere. My apartment was on the other side of town and was nothing like what hers seemed to be. It was fully furnished and on the 10th floor; it was a beautiful place but it wasn't exactly a home. I had the rest of my life to find a house to call my own, so in the meantime I decided to live in style.
I plugged in my iPhone and turned up the music as I waited for 7:30pm to roll around. I skipped through the overplayed top 40's hits and settled on a more calming song, one that reminded me of a certain blue-eyed blonde. I couldn't help but sing along with Adele's impeccable voice.
"Daydreamer with eyes that make you melt. She lends her coat for shelter. Plus she's there for you when she shouldn't be. But she stays all the same, waits for you, then sees you through."
My performance came to a screeching halt when I saw a text appear on my screen. I read the words several times over and felt all the heat in my body rush to my cheeks.
Text from Brittany: I don't know what you're singing right now, but I just wanted to tell you that you look beautiful. I'll be right out. ;-)
I couldn't find the words to reply so instead I sat there, wallowing in my embarrassment and cursing the fact that I parked so close to her building that she could see me. When she revealed herself, the embarrassment vanished and a wave of excitement crashed over me; it left me feeling dizzy and wanting more. She smiled at me shyly and walked around to the passenger side door, sliding into the seat with ease. She reached over and grabbed my hand as she leaned in to kiss my eager lips, pulling back just moments later.
"This is what we should have been doing three years ago." She said softly, squeezing my hand a little tighter.
I laughed and shrugged my shoulders, trying to act nonchalant. "Well maybe if you'd gotten my coffee order right, I would have asked you out." I winked at her playfully.
"That's not fair." She pouted and pulled her hand away from mine.
Normally I would have tickled her into submission, but I didn't know how much coffee she'd had that day and I didn't want a repeat of the caffeine pill incident, so I settled for a few kind words. "Who am I kidding, that coffee order is the reason I'm here with you right now, Britt. You had me before you even said hello."
I could see a smile on her face in the reflection of the window, even though she was still turned away from me. I started the ignition and rested my hand on her thigh as I pulled out of the parking spot. Her hand found its way underneath mine to lace our fingers together again and she reached for my phone to turn on the music; instead she saw her text message to me.
"You have a heart next to my name in your phone." She breathed out softly, barely loud enough for me to hear.
I felt my cheeks burning for a second time and I nodded slowly, keeping my eyes on the road. She didn't say anything else, she didn't need to, she just smiled and closed the text before scrolling through my playlists until she found a song she liked. Kiss Me Slowly was the one she settled on; to my surprise she knew every word. Her voice gave me chills; it was so pure and light, just one more thing to add to the 'things I love about Brittany' list. She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her texts, stopping on my name.
"I have a heart next to your name too," she said, placing her phone next to mine in the cup holder so I could see it for myself. It was official, she never stopped loving me either; I knew it.
We spent the rest of the evening indulging in Italian food and one another's company; it was our first real date and it was perfect. I'd forgotten how intoxicating Brittany could be. I wanted nothing more than to be selfish and keep her all to myself for the next week just to make up for lost time. As unrealistic as that was, I could feel she wanted it too. By the end of our date, we had closed the place down. We were the only two people left in the restaurant besides the staff and I tipped them generously as we left. One thing I'd learned in my short time living in the city, always over tip restaurant staff; they'll remember you.
I drove Brittany home and walked her to her door, still fighting the urge to invite myself inside. I pulled her close to me and let my heart take over. I pressed my lips against hers, slipping my tongue into her mouth immediately. I felt her hands reach under my shirt, drawing circles on the small of my back. I moaned at the contact I'd been craving all evening, but pulled away knowing it was the right thing to do.
"You can come in, if you want." She said, her eyes dark with a lust that matched my own. That only made it that much harder to deny the one thing I wanted the most.
"I want to Britt, but do you think it's a good idea? I mean, we only just saw each other again yesterday. I don't want you to do anything you don't want-"
She cut off my words with another passion-filled kiss. There was no turning back; she had me up against the front door before I could protest again. She skillfully rifled through her purse for her keys while still keeping our mouths attached. Within two minutes we were inside the apartment and this time I had her pinned up against the wall. Three years I'd been waiting to do this.
Brittany's POV
All evening I couldn't bring myself to look at anything or anyone else besides Santana. She literally took my breath away from the moment I saw her belting out some tune in her car and all night long my lungs burned for more oxygen. I was playfully running my hand along her inner thigh at the restaurant when the busboys started stacking the chairs on top of the tables and throwing us curt glances. I whispered my worries to Santana and she nonchalantly packed up our leftovers, signed off on the check, and left a hefty tip for their troubles. The car ride home was achingly long and the walk to my door had butterflies swarming in my tummy. When Santana's mouth met mine, my lips parted willingly and her tongue slipped into me as if finding its original home. I moaned my approval into her and slid my hands beneath her coat and shirt, relishing in the warm, smooth skin of her lower back. The moan I received in return kicked my libido into high gear and all I wanted to do was ravage her. It had been three years in the making and there was no way I was letting one more day come between me and the tension pulling at my lower abdomen. Her politeness and respect made me beam, but the heat between my legs overpowered my romantic side. I wanted her, and I wanted her right then and there; if I hadn't found my keys, I surely would have indulged in sex on my front stoop, come hell or high water. Luckily, I was able to get the door open, but my own sexual aggression was overpowered and I was shoved back against the hallway wall as the door slammed shut.
"I want you," she growled before biting down on my neck, causing a low moan to rumble through me. It stung beautifully and I turned my head to the side, exposing more of my sensitive skin. My hands, which were clenched into the lapels of her coat, yanked at the heavy outerwear. She pulled back enough to shrug off her coat, but she came back with full force, lapping up my neck to tug on my earlobe. I couldn't stand it anymore, I needed her skin against mine; I needed to feel her direct heat. I shoved her enough that she stumbled back with a shocked look on her face.
"The fuck, Britt?" she crowed, her brows furrowing in frustration. I wordlessly pulled her closer before gripping the material of her long sleeved button up in both fists. With a hard, lust-fueled yank I ripped her shirt open and buttons littered my hallway floor. She looked down at her shirt and then up at me with wide eyes, clearly in shock of my actions, before forcefully "helping" me out of my own coat and pulling my silk top over my head impatiently. My mouth was watering as I took in her black lace bra and I slipped my hand between my legs for just a split second as she shed her ruined top. The attempt at friction was denied as she gripped my wrists hard and, before I could utter a single word, pinned both of my arms to the wall; for someone so petite she was incredibly strong. "No," she demanded, nudging my legs open and fitting her upper thigh against my center.
"Oh, fuck, yes," I groaned loudly, rolling my hips forward and finding the much needed friction against her leg. I hardly ever swore, but I was wound tighter that a pin spring and I was hungry for release. My own aggression, which had been so rampant, keeled over for the chance to be thrown into orgasm. I gave up my fight and submitted to her every movement. When she felt my struggle cease, she released my arms and slid her left hand beneath the waistband of my black skinny jeans. I knew I had already soaked through my underwear, but the easy gliding of her fingers through my folds made me groan in utter need. "Tana," I begged, pushing my hips forward as her thumb grazed over my clit.
"You are so damn wet, Britt," she countered as she used her free hand to effortlessly unhook my bra. The pink satin slipped down my shoulders and she tore it from my arms before I looped them around her neck. I dug my fingernails into her upper back and she thrust two fingers into me while simultaneously biting down on my lower lip. My back arched from the sudden intrusion and I gasped out in a high pitch. She picked up a steady rhythm and I rocked against her while our tongues wrestled for dominance. Once again she won out and I was completely filled by her. I let deep moans roll through me and into her and she responded by stroking my bundle of nerves in fast, tight circles. I was on the brink of ecstasy when she slipped out of me and broke away from our kiss. I whimpered at the loss of contact and opened my eyes to find her dropped to her knees. She undid my pants, pulled them, along with my underwear, over my hips and down my legs before wrenching off my boots and peeling both garments away from my damp skin.
"What are you…" My question was cut short as she pulled my left leg over her shoulder and steadied my body with her right hand. While looking up at me she dipped her head between my legs and slowly dragged her tongue along my folds. I reached out and grabbed a fistful of her hair and my right leg trembled, threatening to give out. I lowered more of my weight onto her shoulder and bucked my hips forward when she plunged her tongue into me.
"Oh my God," I whined, already precariously close to climax. She swirled her tongue inside of me and I lost all control of my body as heat flooded through me and down through my center. My hips jerked involuntarily and I could hear her moan in approval, but I was riding out my orgasm in utter, long-awaited bliss.
"So good," she cooed as I tried to regain my senses. My right leg felt like jello and I was slowly sliding down the hallway wall. She supported me enough that I didn't come crashing to the floor, but I soon found myself staring at the ceiling of my entryway, panting out breaths through a smile wide enough to split my face in two. Within moments she was back on top of me, having discarded the rest of her clothing, and she tangled us in a knot of damp, naked flesh.
Our bodies writhed together on the hardwood floor and I found myself lost in the aroma our mixed scents.
"Bed," I groaned, imaging her hands grasping my black silk sheets.
"Later," she returned, keeping her hips rocking a steady rhythm as her wet center rode against my upper thigh. I pulled her in close, kissing her deeply, as she twisted her body into positions that gave her the best friction.
We eventually moved to my bedroom, both of us shaking in aftershocks, and we continued our sexcapades until the early morning hours. We were both exhausted and panting, sated by our marathon of pent up urges by the time we both crashed into mini comas. It had taken us over one thousand days to reach this point in our relationship, but it was worth every second.
April 2009, The Confession.
Brittany's POV
The roller coaster weather that plagued April in New York was frustrating me. One day it would be bone-chillingly cold and a day later people were walking through Central Park in shorts and flip flops. I'm all for variety, but if I forgot my coat on a sunny day, I'd be shivering as I walked to my car at night, the temperature having plummeted while I was underground in what was dubbed "the dungeon." On this particular day it happened to be rather cold outside, but the tiny heater in the morgue office had broken and instead of being unable to turn it on, we were unable to turn it off. It was sweltering in the little box-like room and I swear even the filing cabinets were ready to melt into a puddle. Shannon was fanning herself with a file folder and downing water like she had been lost in the desert for years.
"How can you stand this, Britt?" She groaned, swiveling in her desk chair to face me. "I feel like a hog with arthritic joints and no hooves."
I furrowed my brow in confusion and tried not to picture such a depressing animal.
"Beiste, that doesn't make any sense." A cold, harsh voice made me snap around to face the doorway. "You think this is bad? Try living with Crohn's Disease during Menopause, now that's heat," Sue barked, lowering her eyes to my supervisor. "Now stop moanin' and groanin' like a cat in heat and get to the exam room. We've got another body for you to slice and dice." With that, Sylvester turned on her heel and marched down the hallway. "Chop chop, lazies!" she yelled over her shoulder, garnering an eye roll from my larger counterpart.
"Is she always so …crude?" I ventured, standing up from my chair and pulling a fresh report slip from the drawer.
"Afraid so, Punkin'. Instead of internalizing, she externalizes. This job ain't easy for no one." She patted me on my shoulder, took a last swig from her giant water jug, and led us back down to the autopsy room.
My palms were balmy and I could feel the cool breeze on the back of my neck where a trail of sweat had weaved its way down between my shoulder blades. The drop in temperature between the office sauna and the refrigerated exam room made goosebumps erupt across my body like little mountain ranges. I followed Shannon to the side bench to snap on gloves and I retrieved the standard medical tray that was used for dissection. Once I had everything set up, I pulled the plastic-lined paper sheet down, exposing the body of a teenage girl with boot marks stamped across her collapsed ribcage. After months of examining homicide victims I had learned how to swallow the bile that always crept up my throat. There were some seriously sick people in this world.
I turned on the spotlight above the table and positioned it so the body was immersed in bright light; her skin was a pale purple and the nearly black bruises made my stomach lurch. Shaking my head slightly, I flicked on the microphone used for autopsy account records and began the preliminary examination.
"Case number G7835. Victim is a Caucasian female, mid to late teens, brown hair, hazel eyes, beauty mark resting on right zygomatic process. Height is five feet six inches, weight is one hundred and fifty-six pounds." I trailed my gloved hand over her arm softly and searched her body for evidence that could help us put her abuser behind bars. "No visible lacerations. Trauma to all ten digits of the hands as well as extensive bruising along the ribcage, spanning ribs eight through twelve. Fingernail scrapings being collected and sent to Forensics." I scraped under what was left of her fingernails and sealed the evidence bag before setting it aside. It took me nearly an hour to go through the external examination, noting and collecting any significant markings and fibers and tagging the evidence for the SVU detectives. She hadn't been raped, which at least let my stomach unclench a little, but it didn't change the fact that she was cold as ice and her family didn't even know she wasn't part of their living world anymore. I switched off the microphone and let out a huffed sigh. "All yours, Dr. Beiste," I offered, giving her space to move in toward the body. She looked at me and smiled while shaking her head softly.
"Not today, Britt. You're riding solo on this one. I'm just here to supervise," she explained, giving me a look full of pride and admiration.
My jaw dropped open slightly and I blinked rapidly. My first solo autopsy. Holy Moly! I looked back at the girl lying on the metal table and gave a curt nod. "I'll do good by you," I whispered, turning away from Shannon and once again flicking on the overhead microphone. I picked up the scalpel and looked over my shoulder at my mentor before starting. She gave me a nod of encouragement that settled me into professional focus. "Beginning internal examination," I stated, pressing the sharp tool to rigid skin and slicing a large Y across her chest and down to her navel. This is it, I thought, this is what you've worked so hard to do. I set the scalpel aside and continued with the obduction, my voice ringing out clearly in the silent chamber.
Once I had washed up from the exam and all of the evidence and records were cataloged, I walked back into the searing office and collapsed into my chair. Shannon had given me a hug for doing such a great job and I felt dazed by the fact that I had actually done something on my own, something that could help heal a family with closure and bring justice to the girl taken too early from this world. I had just closed my eyes in peace and breathed out a sigh of relief when someone knocked on the door, waking me from my respite.
"Hey there, Superstar." I didn't even need to see her to know it was Santana; her voice was unlike any other in this world and it set my heart fluttering. "I ran into Beiste in the hall. She told me about your one-woman show. Way to go babe!" she gushed, walking into the office and closing the door behind her. I pivoted the chair smoothly and gave her an exasperated look.
"Thanks! But if you close that door we're gonna melt into goo," I teased, rocking back slightly and giving her a playful grin.
She ignored me and flipped the lock so no one would barge in. I lifted my brow and watched a devilish smirk flash across her face.
"It is awfully hot in here," she purred, peeling off her blazer and unbuttoning her blouse as she walked towards me. My eyes widened and I swallowed thickly at the sight of her cleavage. We'd been together as a couple for five months and this was the first time either of us had instigated sex outside of the safe walls of our apartments.
"Let's celebrate your achievement," she husked, straddling my lap with her heel clad feet planted firmly on the ground. She tugged my head back using my high ponytail and I let out a guttural moan that made her roll her hips into me. "You're hotter than this fucking office," she cussed against my lips before crashing her mouth against mine. I was spring-boarded from arousal to full blown lust as her coffee infused tongue roamed my mouth. I slid my hands over her bare abs and up to cup her breasts, pawing at the lace that impeded my direct contact with her skin. She hummed into my mouth in approval and I pinched her hardening nipples lightly, making her buck her pelvis forward instinctively. The wheeled chair we were sharing slid backward with the force and we collided with the far metal cabinet. We were hungry for each other and our impatience led to our inability to keep quiet. I was slipping my hand just beneath her trouser waistband when her mouth broke away from mine and she let out a moan that made heat pool between my legs. While it was enough to send my hand shooting south, it was also enough to garner a knock at the door.
"Britt, you okay in there honey? Did you forget how the lock works again?" Shannon's sweet, concerned voice broke through my lustful daze and I watched as Santana's eyes widened in shock. Obviously we had thought there'd be enough time for a secret rendezvous, but we were both horribly wrong.
"Just don't answer," Santana whispered, nipping along my jawline as she threaded her hand under my scrub shirt and massaged my right breast. I closed my eyes and was about to slip back into bliss when a nagging thought finally made itself clear as a key was wiggled into the old, sometimes infuriating, lock.
"I'm fine!" I blurted out loudly, Santana's hand still making my body squirm as her lips trailed the length of my throat. "I spilled coffee and I'm changing scrubs, be right out!" My heart was racing and I could feel Santana's evil grin against my neck.
"Quick thinking, Doctor," she teased, placing one last kiss on my damp skin before sitting back to look at me.
"Do you have any idea how badly I want you right now?" I countered, helping her button her shirt grudgingly.
"I have a pretty good idea, B." She leaned in again and kissed near my temple. "I'm so wet for you," she groaned into my ear quietly, before standing up and smoothing out her outfit. I just watched her as the knot in my lower abdomen cinched tighter. "We're continuing this tonight. My place." Her tone was firm and unrelenting and it made me smile and nod in submission.
"As you wish," I agreed, surveying her body one last time before getting out of my chair. I walked to the door as she picked up her blazer and the rush of cool air that swirled around the room made me mewl with relief; I hadn't realized how humid and hot the room had gotten in such a short time.
I watched Shannon eye Santana as she strutted out of the office, offering a polite wave goodbye. I blushed deeply as her kind, motherly eyes fixed on me.
"Some coffee that was, huh Punkin'." She winked at me before coming into the office and laying down her folders.
"My favorite flavor," I joked back, both of our laughter filling the tiny, heated space.
Santana's POV
I begrudgingly crossed the threshold out of Brittany's office and made my way towards Rachel's. I decided to take the long way to give myself enough time to cool down and allow the painstakingly obvious glow of mischief to rid itself from of my face. Rachel Berry was a pain in the ass, but she was no idiot. She was also unapologetically intrusive and I wasn't going to be caught dead discussing my sex life with that hobbit.
Brittany and I had been together for about five months, though to me it felt like a lot less than that. I didn't want time to fly by so fast, but I was excited for summer to arrive. Warm weather meant more time outside and less clothing, and Brittany in less clothing was something I supported wholeheartedly. Tonight would be a milestone in our relationship; I had a special evening planned for us and I'd been worried all week about it working out perfectly. I was more worried however, that it would change our lighthearted and 'head over heels' relationship; that was the last thing I wanted. I planned to take her to Washington Park to walk around and talk. The downside to both of us working with the NYPD was that it didn't exactly give us a lot of free time to explore or make plans. It would be impossible for me to count the amount of times we'd had to cancel on each other over the past couple months. It was tiresome, but it was better than being hundreds of miles away; at least I could see her at work. That was another reason I was so nervous about the date. If she did start seeing me differently, or worse treating me differently, I wouldn't be able to escape it. Brittany knew me better than anyone, but there were still a few bones in my closet that I needed to expose to her.
I glanced at my watch, noting that I had 15 minutes until I had to meet with Rachel. Luckily, the rolling clouds of worry alleviated the nagging pressure in between my legs from my rendezvous with Brittany. The meeting wouldn't be as painful now that I had regained my normal color. Hopefully the hobbit would leave my personal life alone. Instead, she would nag me for countless excruciating minutes on being prepared for a case and having the right 'attitude' with the other attorneys. The elevator bell chimed and I walked out onto the main floor, stopping by the break room to grab a cup of coffee before visiting my favorite security guard.
"What's up Crip?" I teased, walking by the security desk. I stopped and leaned over the counter, purposefully resting my chest in his direct line of view."
Artie covered his eyes and waved his hand in the air. "That is another level of not okay!" he proclaimed before reaching for his crutch, playfully pretending to whack me with it.
Artie was probably my favorite security guard. His sarcasm rivaled mine and he was good to Brittany. He always kept an eye on her for me and even though I'd never tell him, I appreciated it a lot. Back in March, he tore his ACL playing basketball with some of the detectives, which left him on desk duty for the next 3 months. I, of course, decided to take every opportunity I could find to ridicule him for it. He was in the middle of telling me about his suspicion that two detectives in our unit were more than just partners when I abruptly changed the subject, seeing that Chief Sylvester was coming around the corner.
Sue briskly walked by us. She was almost out the door when she saw Artie chewing on something behind the desk. "What the hell is this?" She asked, obviously appalled at the plate of donuts in front of him. "You get one little injury and now you're going all obese rookie cop on me, Stubbles? You're letting yourself go and I can smell the shame wafting from your sugary clogged pores." She threw the donuts and the plate in the trash before putting on her sunglasses and strolling towards the door. "I won't have fat people on my team Abrams, security included! I need fit and healthy not McFatty and McChunky!" With that, she exited the building and I was almost in tears with laughter.
"Don't even pretend like you wouldn't be all up on this if you had the chance." He challenged, crossing his arms over his stomach and leaning back in his chair.
"You seem to be forgetting that I do have the chance. If I told you to meet me in the bathroom in five, I'm pretty positive you'd be right behind me." I flirted, trying to keep my best bitch face on.
He looked at me with wide eyes and his mouth agape. Before he could say something my facade diminished and laughter erupted from my chest once again. "I'm joking you ass! Calm down, I don't want you getting all excited over there. No one wants to see that."
"No one wants to see what?" A voice interrupted. Detective Puckerman strolled up to the desk and stood next to me with one hand in his pocket, leaning into the wood casually. "Lopez, Abrams." He greeted, winking in my direction and blatantly giving me the once over.
I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head, giving Artie the familiar 'here we go again' glare before answering. "First of all, you need to be more careful with your leering. I can feel you undressing me with your eyes. Secondly, we were just talking about how I don't want to see any dicks today, but unfortunately here you stand."
"Well shit, she done told you," Artie snickered, leaning back in his chair again, waiting for Puck to make his counter attack in our verbal war.
Puck caved quickly and chuckled at my quick-witted insult as he pushed my shoulder. "Calm your tits, Lopez. I'm just appreciating what's in front of me. I know the rules, look but don't touch. Brittany knows how to use a scalpel and I prefer to keep my balls attached." He said placing a hand over his crotch.
I nodded my head proudly and flashed him a genuine smile. "You're damn right she does. Glad to see you've learned your place." I finally returned his wink and nodded over to the doors, wanting to talk to him privately for a moment. "I'll catch you later Artie, don't forget to remind Brittany to leave work on time," I called out as Puck and I moved closer to the doors.
"You got it mama," he replied, waving goodbye.
Puck and I made our way through the double doors and towards the stairwell. I only had a few more minutes before I needed to meet with Rachel and I wanted to find out more about the Ruhlman case. Harvey Ruhlman was arrested for the rape and murder of a 14 year old girl on the East side. He had been a suspect in three other murder cases but the prosecutor that had worked with SVU before me had tampered with evidence letting the bastard walk. The Captain also found out he had been working with other criminals and cutting deals to put specific people in prison. When something like this happens, it not only ruins the reputation of the Unit it can also ruin the 5 years of hard work the detectives have put into catching these fuckers. When internal affairs gets involved in something like this, the criminals we put away can use our indiscretion as grounds for an appeal. In other words, it's a shit show and you don't want it to happen.
"Alright, let's cut the shit for a minute and get down to business," I said firmly, receiving a nod from him in return. "What do you have on Ruhlman?"
"We found the girl and Beiste finished the autopsy report last night. There were traces of semen still inside her and we have the murder weapon with his prints on it. This should be a fucking cake walk, San. We just need to make sure everything is above board. If I see this mother fucker walk again I'll lose my badge for killing him myself." Puck clenched his fists, gritting his teeth. The thought of seeing Ruhlman walk again made his blood boil; there was no way he nor I would let that happen.
"I've got this one, Puck, trust me. I'm a crafty bitch but I do everything above board; you can count on me." I gave him a reassuring smile before reaching the third level door. "Alright, I've gotta go meet with Rachel before she returns to the shire. I'll call you later."
I headed down the hall towards Rachel's office, watching Puck walk towards Quinn's, recalling Artie's suspicion about a certain detective duo. I was almost in Rachel's office, but I turned on my heels when I heard Puck call my name.
"Lopez!" He said, peeking his head out of Quinn's office door.
"It's good to finally have someone on the team that knows what they're doing," he admitted. It was a rare thing, hearing Puck give out a compliment like that. He and Quinn had worked with the NYPD for over 10 years; both of them worked their way up from the police academy to detectives. They were skeptical of new blood, rightfully so, but luckily Brittany and I seemed to mesh well with everyone in the unit. Words couldn't describe how thankful I was for that. After so many years of keeping to myself and not getting involved with many friends or people in general, it was nice to have a core group of people I felt comfortable with. It felt even better that Brittany weaved her way into the group as well; it felt like my life was finally beginning.
My meeting with Rachel lasted two hours; two very long, coma inducing hours. I was convinced at this point that Rachel's ability to talk my ear off was how she won her court cases. She would either talk the Jury to death or bore the Judge into ruling in her favor. With that part of my day checked off my list there was only one thing left, Brittany. I forgot to bring a change of clothes to work that morning so I had to drive home to change before heading over to the park, it was a good thing I lived so close to work. I decided on a dark wash pair of skinny jeans and a white v neck shirt; pretty simple, but that's what Brittany liked. It was a wonderful feeling, knowing that she wanted me even without the heels and make up. I never had to pretend or put up a front with her; Brittany knew the real me and that just made me love her more.
I arrived at the park just as the sun was going down and sat on a bench near the fountain. This place was beautiful and I was proud that I found it, with a little help from Google of course. I pulled out my iPhone and dialed Brittany's number. I couldn't help but let the impatience take hold of me; I wanted her with me hours ago. I huffed and slouched down further in my seat when the ringing in my ear eventually turned to the sweet greeting on Brittany's voicemail.
"You've reached Dr. Brittany Pierce. I'm unavailable to take your call right now, but feel free to leave your name and number at the tone and I'll return your call shortly. If this call requires immediate medical assistance, please hang up and dial 911. If you need to be put in contact with the police department, do the same thing! Have a lovely day! Bye!"
I laughed, hanging up the phone instead of leaving a message. Brittany had the most intricate voicemail I'd ever heard but I loved it because it was all Brittany. I felt a pair of hands cover my eyes and I swear if it wasn't for the sweet smell of lavender, I would have backhanded who ever dared to touch me.
"Guess who?" Brittany cooed, kissing my cheek.
I didn't need to guess. The feeling of ease that washed over my entire body alone was enough to know that Brittany was here. This is it, no turning back now, I thought to myself. Showtime.
Brittany's POV
After the double dose of adrenaline rushes, the first being my solo autopsy and the second being Santana's frisky endeavors, I was wired. I felt like pure caffeine had been injected directly into my bloodstream and my body was tingling.
Santana texted me midday and told me to meet her in Washington Park when I was done with my paperwork. From 2pm to 5pm my reports were constantly being interrupted by thoughts of Santana's earlier actions. I was sitting in the very chair she had straddled me on and that in and of itself made my muscles clench with want. When I had finished and signed the last page of the report and filed it into Beiste's accordion folder, I raced to my locker, shimmied out of my scrubs, and tugged on my boyfriend jeans and a loose sea foam green V- neck. I shrugged on my tan cardigan, shoved my feet back into my KEDS, and slammed my locker shut after tossing my purse over my shoulder. I was itching to see Santana and the day seemed to drag on forever; I wasn't going to waste another moment that I could spend with her.
I got to the park a little after 6:30pm when the sun had slipped below the treetops. I scanned the yard and a smile broke across my face when I spotted Santana's petite form perched on a bench on the other side of the fountain. I hastened my way over to her and kept my footsteps light when I got into her hearing range. She was distracted by the soothing visual of cascading water, so I was able to sneak up on her easily.
"Guess who?" I hushed, leaning in to peck her cheek softly. Her body, which had stiffened when I had covered her eyes, relaxed back into my touch. I rounded the bench and plopped down next to her, taking her hand in mine and lacing our fingers. "I love this place. You always know where to take me to make my day better. Even if my day has already been like super fantastic," I gushed, grinning at her with childlike awe. "So, now what? Are we gonna stay until the stars come out and try and count them? I've tried that before and it's really hard, but maybe it'll be easier now that there're two of us." I squeezed her hand tightly and brought it up to my lips for a soft peck. The day was turning out to be quite miraculous.
Santana's POV
I'd learned to appreciate Brittany's odd sense of humor over the years. At first it was confusing, but after a while she had me wishing I could see things through her eyes; it was charming and made her even more attractive. With her hand still wrapped in mine, I tugged her off of the bench and started walking down the concrete path towards the Washington Arch, caressing her hand with my thumb as we walked.
"I wanted to do something different, not just dinner or a movie or something like that. I know you love nature and being outside and I'm kind of an ass in the winter because I hate the cold, so I thought here was perfect," I confessed easily. Her smile was bright enough to light up the entire sky as if it were midday again. Knowing that I was the cause of that smile made my stomach do somersaults; Brittany made me feel things I'd never imagined. It was amazing to think that I'd only known her for about 4 years. What was my life without her? Pointless, empty, colorless. Those were three words that came to mind immediately.
As we reached the arch, I released Brittany's hand and walked up closer to it. It was stunning; the rough stone had been crafted into something beautiful, but it was still just as strong, just better cared for. That's exactly what Brittany had done to me; over the years she'd made me a better person. I turned around to face her and opened my arms for her to wrap herself up in me. She skipped forward, squeezing me tightly and I closed my eyes as I held her close, wishing that somehow our hearts would tether themselves together, eliminating all fear that they could ever break apart.
I reluctantly pulled away, taking a step backwards. "I want to talk to you about something. Actually, it's more like I need to talk to you about something. You and Kurt are probably the most important people in my life Britt and there's something that I've been keeping from the two of you. It's actually something no one knows about me, but I love us together and I love you and I think I need to share this part of my past with you."
Brittany's POV
With Santana's hand firmly anchored to mine, my feet felt like they were hovering above the ground. Walking with her felt more like floating and no dance move could come close to the fluidity that our synched stride held. I listened intently as she explained her choice in venue and my smiled widened with each passing second. I loved that she put time and effort into this impromptu date and didn't just settle for a typical dinner and movie followed by one of our routine sleepovers.
When Santana slipped her hand out of mine, I felt the ground hard underfoot and sighed happily knowing that she was the one who could make me transcend the ordinary. I watched in awe as she glided up to the magnificent arch and placed her hand on the cool stone. Her movement was rife with grace and I marveled at her beauty as she slowly turned to face me. She held her arms out to me, beckoning me forward; I hesitated only to take in the image of her opening herself up to me so willingly. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her, burying my face into the sweet citrus of her neck, whispering a soft "hello" just below her ear. We stood wrapped in each other, sharing warmth that settled in my center like I had just swallowed hot chocolate. She pulled away from me again and my heart sank lightly in my chest. Being close to her felt like Christmas and my birthday and the last piece of pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving; she was joy and excitement and comfort all wrapped into one and I couldn't help but sigh as those feelings wafted away with the increase in our bodily distance.
At first my heart hammered. When couples say they need to talk, it usually ends with one broken-hearted and the other shrugging away the remnants of a once fulfilling love. I grasped her hands in nervous desperation and she soothed me with her words that were soft like angel food cake. My heart quieted and I stroked my thumbs over her knuckles lovingly. "You can tell me anything, Santana. I want to know everything about you," I informed her, looking into her eyes so she'd see my genuine interest.
Santana's POV
Despite the fact that my nerves were playing pinball inside my ribcage, I felt a little better. Hearing the confirmation fall from her lips was the push I needed; Brittany helped me to understand that I could trust her. Her desperate attempt for contact after my announcement further affirmed this. I led her under the arch and down the path that weaved through the forest of trees, wrapping my arm around her waist as we walked together under the crimson sky.
"Britt, you know that I didn't exactly have the best childhood, that's no secret. I grew up in foster care and that alone could explain for how I am or I suppose how I used to be, but there's more to the story than just that. My mother did die when I was nine but it's was because-" My breath hitched in my throat; I could feel the lump forming and my airway closing up. Brittany stopped walking and brought her free hand to my face, stroking it gently before placing a kiss on my cheek and nodding for me to continue.
"My dad killed her Britt." I paused momentarily, silently praying that she wouldn't let go of me. When her grip tightened, I continued.
"He raped and killed my mom and I'm the one that found her." The words started to pour out of me, flowing out effortlessly like they'd been trapped for centuries.
"I don't remember much before that day. All I know is what he did to her and that the police found his remains in his car on the side of the road. The car had been set on fire; no one ever told me if he did it or if someone else did and really I didn't care. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, I suppose."
I choked back tears and continued on; I needed to get everything out before Brittany could respond. I didn't think I'd be able to talk about it again after this so, with a deep breath I resumed once again. "I lived in many different foster homes and I didn't get along very well with any of the families. I wasn't social enough or I wasn't a good fit; there were tons of reasons that they gave for moving me from family to family. There was always something wrong with me, so after moving around so much I stopped caring about other people. I had no reason to trust anyone and I learned to accept that. So basically, I paid attention to school and work and nothing else; I didn't need anyone because no one needed me. Undergrad is where I started talking to more people; becoming friends with Kurt and Sam helped a lot and then when you came along you changed me completely. You changed me for the better."
We had walked the circle around the park and were coming back up towards the arch. I stopped walking and looked up at it again before turning to Brittany.
"I'm like the arch, Britt. The tough stone exterior… that's me. I was stoic and solid my entire life, but you took the time and crafted me into someone beautiful. You make me feel beautiful Brittany. I'm still strong like I was before, but I'm better cared for now. Having you by my side and you taking care of me over these past few years has helped me accept that not everyone is like my dad, or those foster families. Now that I know you're not going anywhere and that this-"
I put my hand on her heart and hers on my own, allowing the tears to finally flow.
"This thing with you and me is real, I want you to understand me better and know why I am the way I am sometimes and why I really decided to become a Lawyer. Britt, I love you so much. You've done so much for me and I've never been able to thank you for it. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you before, but I needed to do it in my own time. I really, really hope you can understand all of this." I looked down at the floor, teardrops trickling down my face and onto the darkened pavement. I couldn't bring myself to look up and allow my eyes to meet hers. I was afraid of what I'd see, or what I had possibly lost.
Brittany's POV
My chest unclenched when Santana looped her arm around my waist and guided us down the worn path around the park. The sun was just peeking over the horizon and the sky was streaked crimson like the blood oranges we loved to snack on. Whatever she had to tell me was definitely important, but by the way she was acting, it was as if she was more afraid of my reaction than anything else. As the wind picked up I pulled her closer and shared a bit of my cardigan with her. Before we were even ten feet from the arch, she started weaving her tale.
She and I are so different and yet we fit so nicely; I'm the type of person who runs wildly and cannonballs into the pool while she takes each step hesitantly, allowing her body to acclimate slowly to the change in temperature. It's the same way in which we talk; I tend to blurt things out haphazardly, letting my thoughts babble forward in messy streams while she plots out what she wants to say, down to the verb. She started out slowly, testing the waters, making sure I wouldn't burn her or turn her to ice, and I had to be the one to coax her forward. I stopped us mid step and turned to her; she needed to know that nothing she told me would ever make me stop loving her. I squeezed her hand that was linked with mine while placing my free palm on her cheek. I brushed my thumb along the angle of her cheekbone and followed the trail with light kisses. Her muscles didn't relax, but she let out a soft sigh before releasing a confession that rocked me to my core. I could see that she was unleashing an inner darkness that had saturated the infrastructure of her life, so I held her tightly to assure her that if anything, I would be the last pillar standing to hold her up.
Her story turned from a drizzle into a downpour as she was finally able to admit the secrets of her past. I remained silent and allowed her the chance to rid herself of every last drop of inner turmoil. We had just gotten back to the arch when she pivoted towards me and filled me with words that made my chest ache. Just when I thought my heart would split itself in two, she guided my hand to her heart and placed her own hand on my chest. I could feel her erratic heartbeat under my palm and it made my own heart thump wildly. When the confession rain ceased, she cast her eyes to the ground, but our hands remained glued to their spots.
I watched, stunned, as the woman I had fallen in love with over that past 3+ years cracked open, revealing the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. I knew Santana was set in her ways and that she had a troubled past, but I could never, in a million years, have guessed at the horror she had endured. The tears that stained her cheeks made my throat constrict and I dropped my hand from her heart in a flash. I cupped her face with both of my hands and guided her eyes to meet mine. Her gaze was swimming in fear and I slowly shook my head to tell her silently that I was there and I wasn't leaving. I slid my hands down her neck, over her chest and around her waist as I pulled her close to me, willing my touch to send waves of healing energy into her. My own tears had started to fall and I wanted to use them to wash away the sins of her father, releasing her from a past as black as coal. I kissed along her jaw, tasting the saltwater and bringing her darkness into me so she wouldn't have to bear it alone. I couldn't think of anything comforting to say, so I let the truest words fall from my lips and land upon her nervously aching heart. "I love you, Santana. No matter what, I'll always love you."
- to be continued -
klikeszombies - Brittana is always endgame :)
nayalove - Santana couldn't find another Brittany, even if she tried.
forblueskies - Hope that by the end of this chapter you are happy, you got some small preview of angst (spoiler alert, next chapter get ready for it) and some character interaction and fluff! Kurtana and Pezberry sass is coming, don't you worry!