Anger Management

by Nina

Summary :

After the Thor, Lord of Thunder affair, Jane and Erik went to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. Some would have thought Darcy would follow them to the end of the world. But unfortunately for her, as soon as she got her credit, she was kindly thanked and sent back to New York. Now working as a waitress, living with a blonde flat mate, she tries to pay her bills and survive. There is so much rage in her she feels she could go green any minute.

So when she meets the jolly green giant in a park, trying very much to smash the ducks in the pond, she can actually relate to him.

Notes for this chapter:

I still do apologies for English isn't my native tongue and I still might butcher the Bard's language.

So this Darcy is still very influenced by Kat Dennings' role in 2 Broke girl$. Yet, this is still not a crossover.

Of course this is a non-profit story. If fan fiction was lucrative, how many of us would be multi-billionaires?

This chapter ended up sooo much longer than I thought it would. And with more drama than I first intended. But with Brucie here, what did you expect ?

Also, rating is for the language. And safety ?

SHIP DARCY WITH ALL THE THINGS! (especially the green ones)

Reviews:

First of all, I thank all of the readers of this fic very much, and all of you that bookmarked/pressed the [follow this story] button. And those who put it directly in their favourites... Wow. Thanks so much! This is my second fanfiction in english, and i'm glad I started writing again. Even if it's in the middle of my exams period, I do enjoy it very much. Your comments were very much appreciated too, and helped me seing things in a better angle.

Bad Hero : I like my hulk green and brainy. Well as brainy as he can be. I hope what follows answer your expectations! ^o^ Thank you for your encouraging review. You made this chapter happen!

Soaringphoenix86 : thank you for your feedback! I am just following the movieverse but happen to be aware that he does get Banner's intelligence back at some point ( they share the same brain after all) .

Even if the big dude is still quite"feral" and raw, and that he doesn't compose sonnets ( but maybe he does, I don't know what he does in his "Inner Banner time") doesn't mean the guy is stupid.

For his deductive skills, maybe he is a secret fan of Sherlock (bbc) and like his role model, learned how to observe instead of just seing (do you think he cried in front of The Reichenbach Fall ? Naaaah. I'm sure he just smashed the tv and swore to kill Moffat).

For the "Boobs" part, it made me laugh, plus I was overdosing on too many "2 Broke Girl$" jokes on Max's chest. So this happened.

Addy : I am glad you liked it and hope to know soon if you enjoyed this new chapter as well. I do say, there is so much fluff potential with these two. Hopefully Bruce won't be too depressing and they will be able to frolick in the park killing ducks time as much as they want.

Chapter 2 : Taï-chi/ meditating boring

Introducing a 9 foot tall bundle of muscles to stone skimming may have seemed a good idea at the time. But now, Darcy isn't so sure anymore.

The green giant is furious. All the pebbles the tiny human is giving him were crushed by his fingers as soon as he tried to hold them correctly. The small rocks felt like sand in his hands. And when he got angry and took the big weird looking human shaped rock from the center of the park to throw it, it just sank in the water like….. Well like a rock.

" Dude, it should be gliding on the surface of the water. Barely touching. Like this."

She puts her small small hand on his arm, trying to show him the right move. He shivers violently. How something so small and pitiful can be so warm and soft? It could almost be… nice? But as soon as she touches him, she's gone. She's counting the ripples made by her rock. She said something about the rock being flat, and… gliding? He looks around. There are no rocks left after he threw the…. What did she call it? Statue? In the pond, creating a mini tsunami in the process and flooding the path were they are standing. He looks around for something… something flat… and… round. He smirks. This is exactly what he needs.

The screeching sound of metal being bent and ripped apart makes Darcy turn back. The Hulk is standing on the bank, his bare feet covered in mud. In his hands seems to be the rest of… well a sign post. Just before she can actually say something, the green giant throws his home made pebble that perfectly skims on the water. But unfortunately, the Hulk's strength can hardly be measured and the deadly metal crepe rips through the air, decapitating a couple of ducks on the way and finally disappearing between the bushes on the other side of the park.

A sound of crashing cars and broken glass, followed quickly by angry honking comes from the scene. Darcy grabs the Hulk by the elbow and whispers.

" Run! We can't be found here! Let's go!"

And they run.

There's a sort of bubbly feeling building up in Darcy's chest. Something she hasn't feel in a long time. The green… man (?) in front of her seems angry, like he does on those tv reports showing Thor throwing Mew-Mew on different targets, or Iron-Man and that guy that looks like the captain America action doll her brother had. Yet, she is not afraid.

They hide in the bushes and suddenly she's got the impression of being five years old again, hiding from her parents because she broke a vase…. Except that she's 23, and she's in a park, hiding with a 9 foot tall man that looks like he's made of…. Brawny broccolis? That is too much for her.

The Tiny Angry Woman's shoulders are shaking so violently the Hulk wonders what's going on. She doesn't smell like she's crying. Maybe she's angry with Hulk's poor throw. She showed him the right moves but he couldn't get them properly done. He was sloppy. Maybe she'll get angry and shout at him. He is not sure how to respond to the anger of this tiny little thing. He is quite surprised when she starts laughing. She laughs so hard she actually fells on top of him.

"Dude… I can't believe… You literally killed two birds with your stone. You couldn't get any more litteral than that."

The Hulk doesn't know what she's babbling about but her little body pressed against him is one of the most pleasant things he ever felt, even more pleasant than smashing the god of thunder and his puny brother in their last encounter.

"Did you see that? And yeah, too bad the statue just sank like that, it could have been fun. Now, I hope no one recorded this, or we'll get into biiiiiiig troubles. And I hope nobody died. That would be a shitty death. "Death by a ricochet". Lame. Could be a "Dead Like Me" kind of death. Not as sad and ironic than a toilet seat from the Mir space station, though…."

The Hulk looks at her like she suddenly grew a second head. She wonders what he is thinking. She's getting quite nervous now that she started to realize the possible consequences of her actions. And when she gets nervous, she can't seem to be able to shut up.

"Angry Darcy talks too much."

Darcy crosses her arms in front of her, vexed, and closes her mouth. Who does he think he is? The Hulk lets out a rumbling sound, making his chest tremble and Darcy realizes that she's laying nearly on top of him. He is… laughing? He's not mad at her?

"Well… I suppose that wasn't a pretty clever idea. The rock skimming, I mean. It was really fun, and all, yet, it didn't really work. I'm still angry at my life, and you still look like you could smash something."

'Hulk, smash." The giant confirms.

"Guess we'll have to find something else. Do you have any idea?"

In the end they don't think of anything else to do. They just stay there for a while, talking. Well, Darcy talked. He listened to her or maybe he didn't, but still grunted from time to time, to show her he was still awake.

And when it's time for her to go home and bake her four batches of muffins for the next day, she goes, full of regrets. He accompanies her to the edge of the park.

"So... It's time to say goodbye. I had a great time, thanks."

She gives him an awkward hug and smiles. The Hulk mimics her somehow, giving her a terrible impression of someone with stomach pains and the urge to skin you alive. It would be creepy if she did not spend the last 3 hours talking to him, cradled against his massive green chest.

She walks away and when Hulk is pretty sure he'll never see her again, she runs back to him and draws a pen from her pocket.

"That's my number, in case you want to hang out again. I'll see you around, buddy."

And then she proceeds to disappear in the noisy streets of the city.

°0°0°0°0°0°0°

A month passes and Darcy never gets the phone call she never thought she would... well, yearn for. She guesses giving her number to a grammar challenged bundle of muscles was quite a shitty idea in the end. The guy seemed to struggle with a simple sentence, so maybe introducing to numbers and a mobile phone was a bit…

Sometimes she imagines he tried to call her, but the device in his hand was so fragile and small he would actually crush it every time he tried. Sometimes she thinks that maybe he washed his arm before he wrote down her number, or that maybe blue ink isn't really visible on green skin. And sometimes, when she gets really mad at everything and nothing in particular, she cynically thinks that even a green radioactive giant with anger management issues doesn't want anything to do with a stupid looser like her.

When she reaches that stage, she's waitressing in the diner. It has really been a crap day. It has been raining for three days now and she constantly has to clean the floor that those fucking hipsters keep covering in mud. No, going into a park to do whatsoever weird communion with Mother Nature when it's fucking raining is not normal. Definitively not normal. And their body odors are actually so much worse than normal. For fuck's sake, did nobody ever told them never to wear wool when it's raining, and that when it's wet, it actually stinks? And those very "ethnics" Peruvian hats they adore make them reek like old ratty llamas… or "alpacas" like they love to correct you.

It's the fifth time she cleaned the little pool of muddy water at the very feet of a twenty something little rich hobo wannabe that thinks he's almighty because he just saw "On the Road" with "that chick from Twilight", ignoring it's been a book before, written on toilet paper, paper full of crap like him.

"Darcy! In my office, right NOW!"

She was about to strangle the guy with her dirty mop. She was actually going to strangle him, or stuff his mouth with…

Her boss interrupts her musings and let her confound herself in excuses. In the end he lets her go with a lecture and words of advice that she should "stop whatever she's taking because it is not a nice thing to see, and if she's not taking anything, well she might consider getting a prescription from a doctor or something. Consulting might be a good option, too".

That's how she finds herself in front of a tall building guarded by dangerous looking men in suits. She could swear, if Men in Blacks existed, they would exactly look like that: S.H.I.E.L.D agents in business suits. She flashes him her Visitor Badge she got after the Battle of Manhattan. Even if they did not give her a job after her internship, she knew she would hear from S.H.I.E.L.D again. And when Jane came back from whatever secret place they sent her, she insisted Darcy should have this pass. Curiously, this demand was endorsed by mister I-pod stealer, Agent Coulson.

"Eyh Dude, totally digging the Wall Street look. I'm here for the class."

The man doesn't blink and the only thing that proves he has heard her is him stepping back to let her go through.

After the "Diner Debacle" she did the only thing she could think of, that is calling the only part of common sense she ever possessed: her ex-boss. After a long explanation and the conclusion that hipsters suck and that she needs a hobby, kind kind jane tells her that there's a Tai-chi course going on in the main building that she should maybe attend. The bonus is: it is free for the many badge holders. Now Darcy doesn't particularly consider herself as a material girl, but let's face it. She is broke, and these three little words sound like magic in her ears.

She follows the long corridors of the highly guarded building and ends up in a long room with a wooden floor. One part of the wall is covered in mirrors. It's the kind of room that haunts her childhood memories, when her mother wanted her to take ballet lessons and she ended up boxing the face of one particularly nasty girl. Not a good first impression.

The room is half-full already and everyone is chatting quietly, they all seem to avoid the back of the room, pointedly ignoring a single man. Of course, being who she is, Darcy goes straight to the back.

She sits down next to the man. In his early fourties, he does look quite attractive. He seems to be meditating, completely ignoring the rest of the room. She tries to copy his position, making abstraction of all the weird glances sent in her direction. Does she stand out that much?

At first, it's the smell that raises something in him. It is more subtle than a perfume, vaguely familiar, like a memory. Yet, he can't remember where he smelled it before. He tries to concentrate harder. It was Fury's idea to make him attend this class, so he could have a… hobby. A hobby that didn't involve changing color and smashing people. He tried to refuse, the safety of all these people was at risk, especially now. The other guy had been restless, trying to go out, splitting his head in half with pain when Bruce tried to control him. Finally, Bruce won, but He was still there, buzzing angrily at the back of his head, raging more than ever. And Fury did not listen. So in the end he had the choice. And what a choice! Being still sensitive, he either could stay in the lab, getting more and more annoyed by Tony's incessant non-sense, or he could well, not socialize per say, but "try to build up a resistance" to social interactions. Not that he really needed to, but anything was better than a bored Tony trying to make him go green.

So he complied to the order with a heavy heart. And anyway, Tai-Chi had always calmed him down before.

He interrupts his meditation when the teacher appears. As always, everyone is taking their distances with him. That is good, and it doesn't hurt as much as before.

Something in the corner of his eyes takes his attention. There, just a few feet from him, stands a girl. No, not a girl, a woman. No, she's really just a child, too young to be a S.H.I.E.L.D agent, really. Actually, she is too colorful to be a S.H.I.E.L.D agent. Who comes to a Tai Chi class with bouncing curls and painted lips? He can't help but notice the curves of her body. Not a child, then.

She smiles at him like she doesn't know who he really is. Maybe she doesn't. What is a civilian doing in the tower?

"Eyh! It's my first time here, but you look like some kind of meditation king. Do you mind if I tag along? Everyone seems to give me the cold shoulder. Maybe it's a good idea I didn't get a job here. Except for the good wage and social security. I've heard you could get a good dental cover. Meh."

The woman doesn't wait for his answer, she continues to talk to him and stand by his side. He wants to tell her that it's not okay, that he doesn't want her to "tag along", it's dangerous and stupid to even attend this class, even with a bunch of agents trained to react to his transformations. Actually, cross that out, it is even more dangerous to let him in the same room with over trained agents.

"… And that's how I ended with you. Not cool, right?"

He has no idea of what she's talking about. She looks at him with an earnest expression. She is pretty. Very pretty. A small brunette with the same kind of beauty as Betty albeit more… rock n' roll? He's not sure he ever understood fashion before but now it is even more confusing. She smiles and he feels something in his chest tighten. He hasn't answered yet.

"oh, right…er, not cool. Indeed."

"So, you're working here, that's right? You don't seem like the kind of guy that likes to wear a suit…. Are you a scientist?"

"Lucky guess?"

"I'm observant. Plus you still have you badge on your shirt. Here you go…. Doctor Banner."

She leans toward him to read his clip-on ID badge. She is the source of the perfume. Her hair tickles his arm and he shivers violently. She steps back, looking a bit offended, but doesn't say anything. The Teacher's voice luckily interrupts them and they start with a series of Qi Gong exercises that let the girl next to him perplex. She looks quite lost and sends him panic signals. He sighs and whispers instructions to her. The smile she grants him makes him blush a little. He hasn't blushed in years. After the accident, no one ( with the exception of Betty, but then again, there was always so much sadness in her eyes ) looked at him like that anymore.

They spend the next hour executing exercises after excercises. When comes the time to do Pushing Hands and they have to pair up, Bruce slides back to his yoga mat to do some meditation. He needs that. But the girls has other plans. She decides to ignore the not-so discrete attempts to keep her away from the good doctor and takes him by the arm.

"So Herr Doctorrrrrr... Don't run so quickly from me. You really thought you could escape ? Tutututu... Help me with that, would you?"

Bruce glances discreetly around them. Everyone is holding their breath, waiting for something terrible to happen. He focuses back on the girl and gives her instructions.

She doesn't concentrate. She really can't. The man is yummy, for sure, but that's not the issue here. She feels claustrophobic under the stares of so many, well, hostile people. It's like they expect her to turn into a monster any minute from now. That's rude. They are rude, and the teacher barely gives her attention. That's not how you treat a newbie! And even if doctor yum-yum guides her, she feels like this is dull and repetitive. Her mind is still free to think. And her thoughts piles up until she can't take it anymore.

"BOOOOOORRRIIIIIING! I'm bored. This is definitely the most boring class I ever been in. And trust me, I followed a loooot of courses. No offence, Doc, but this is rubbish. It was supposed to help me calm down, and it doesn't help at all."

Bruce smiles indulgently.

"Maybe it's not the best conditions for learning..."

"No, but come on! Tai Chi Masters was a cool movie, but we just look like to old people fighting. Like a bitch fight but in slow motion. Except it's not slow motion, we're not old people and definitively not in a movie. Can't they just mind their own business ? Raaaah, i'm so bored."

"You are quite an infuriating young lady, you know ?"

A gasp make them turn around. Everyone is looking at them. The sound came from the nearest pair, and they are looking warily in their direction.

"Seriously ? What's wrong with these people ? Nobody told you it's rude to stare ? Okay, enough, come on, Doc."

She takes her bag and Bruce by the arm and storms out. He is a bit shocked by what's happening. The least he can say about the girl is that she is... spontaneous. They nearly run through the corridors, earning them half panicked looks and Bruce is pretty sure someone already sent a "code green" alert to Nick Fury. Hopefully they did. They stop in an empty corridor, next to a coffee machine. She starts laughing and he must admit, it is quite contagious. She holds out her hand looking at the selection of coffee.

"Do you have any change ? I'm broke."

He is still so astonished by what happened that he just gives her what she asks. Soon he finds himself sitting in a corridor like he's 18 again, sipping an awfull cup of coffee that tastes like dishwater and listens to this pretty girl that looks like she is 18. When did that happened?

" Did you see the look on their face ? Priceless! Still, Do you think they stared so much because I was not S.H.I.E.L.D ? Do you think that could be counted as racism ?

The girl is unbelievable. She is the most... random encounter he ever experienced. This is surreal, this girl with a great love for flashy make-up, flashy attire and flashy behaviour, breaking in one of the most guarded place of New-York and running away with someone that could easily crush her with his fingers, and yet she thinks they were avoinding HER ? Oh, Tony would have a field day!

She smiles at him and puts her hand on his arm, and he doesn't know why this gesture seems so familiar.

"At least I made you laugh, Doc. "

She is so different from the women surrounding him. Younger, also. Miss Potts is full of grace, and soft, with a velvety voice. Yet She is made of iron, running the Stark industries in the shadows of her boss and … partner ? He doesn't know what these two are, but how fitting they seems together. An Iron lady for the Iron Man. He doesn't see much Maria Hill and Natasha is just a cold wind that comes and go in the tower. She's still wary of him, and he wouldn't have it any other way. He nearly killed her, and still blames himself for that. He should have kept control of that... monster in him.

And then, there's Betty.

He hasn't seen her in years. She sends letters sometimes, when she knows where he is, that is. To keep up. She is married, now, to that other doctor he saw on the campus that day. She went on with her life, and that's good. That's very good, even if it hurts like hell and fuels the other guy's anger sometimes. Betty was the most clever and kind woman he ever knew. She was the most beautiful also, in his eyes. Once he thought he would end up marrying her, and in his dreams, they would have had it all. Even the kids, as scary as it seemed at the time. But now...

"... And I knew your name seemed familiar! You are the infamous Bruce Banner!"

The husky voice brings him back from his thoughts. When he processes what has been said, he can't help but feel the dread that grows in his stomach. She knows who he is. It's over, she's going to stand up and run, scared of the beast he really is. He doesn't know why it bothers him so much, he just met the woman -damn, the girl, she is but just a girl- and he should be used to the horror and disgust.

But she's not running. No. On the contrary, she looks at him, with stars in her eyes.

"Yes you are! Oh man, that's pretty cool!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You did this paper on genetically modified flora that had been exposed to gamma rays, a few years ago, that helped me for a paper during the two months of biology I did in college. See, I majored in political sciences, but I changed my major so many times I actually think I broke a record or something... "

A college student -graduated college student- She's a student that knows him for his first research papers, not his passion for destroying buildings and army properties. He wonders if he should be glad or annoyed by that fact.

"...And then Jane and Eric took me in New-Mexico for "Einstein-Rosen Bridge hunting"."

"... Einsten-Rosen... You know Jane Foster and Eric Selvig ?"

"Well, yeah... I was their assistant for a while, and then we found Thor. I even tazed him, you know ? Well, Jane run over him twice with the van, but I still tazed an alien norse god. How do you think I ended up with a pass, huh? By the way, you work here, right ? So you must know the avengers too ?"

"They don't sign autographs, if that's what you want..."

"Of course they totally do. I saw Captain America on tv the other day. A real star. But, no, I don't."

"You don't... what ?"

"Want an autograph. So... Do you know if they are here?"

Is she one of those bloody fangirls that try by all means to enter the tower? They've been quite a lot of them recently and he can't help but feel a little bit annoyed.

"I won't help you sneak in to steal the Cap's boxer shorts if that's what you expect."

"Now that would be fun, but no. I want to talk to the Hulk, actually."

"You WHAT ?"

He's flabbergasted. This woman – girl! Is completely insane! He stands up, his cup rolling on the floor. Anger flows in his veins like a cold fire. Doesn't she know what the Hulk really is ?

She calmly look at him. He seems agitated, furious even, but she can't help to find the situation quite funny. Of course she knows who he is. She's not stupid. She connected the dots when she saw his nametag. After her paper, she tried to read more of his researches. But couldn't. The whole bunch was classified. She got one of her friends from IT to try to hack it, but even then, they couldn't find anything. She managed to find informations much later, and completely by surprise, when Eric told her about Banner. And then later, just before Agent Coulson stole her i-pod and computer. The Gamma researches, the accident that nearlly destroyed the whole of Harlem, The big dude in the park. She knows they are all linked. And this man with the fluffy hair is her only clue.

"Yeah, do you think I should get an appointment?"

He chokes. Now, that's quite entertaining, he looks like he just swallowed at least a dozen lemons. He flushes, then turns pale, and she thinks for a second he's going to faint. He manages to control himself, with difficulties. He hasn't had any accident for 32 days, now, but the other guy has been restless, and it's like he is 6 years back, struggling to keep his calm. What is happening ?

"You... want... to get an appointment ? With the... with Him?

"Well, yeah. I gave him my number but he never called me. I'm Darcy Lewis, by the way, maybe he told you about me?

The name is familiar... but he can't place it. Is this girl saying what he thinks she's saying ? Something warm grows inside him, expanding quickly, growing hotter and hotter. And then, his hearts is pounding in his chest and he fells on the ground. The girl rushes at his side, but he knows what is going on, he does'nt know why, but he manages to growl something before everything goes green:

" RUN!"