I... I'm alive. Sorry for the slow update. I just haven't had the motivation to write even though I had it all planned out...

And now it's back to school so updates will be even SLOWER. Sorry. I'll try my best though! *fiery determination*

Oh, and I did have a great holiday. Haha~

Vocaloid belongs to Yamaha

The Schoolgirl and the Past

Rin stared wide-eyed at the boy, whose gun was still aimed just above her head. Curiously enough, she didn't feel the slightest bit scared… at least not as scared as she was about the sudden twist of events and realisations.

"Wh-what do you mean, your job?" she asked with a trembling voice.

Len lowered his arm and sighed. He sat down on the edge of his bed. As he spoke, he refused to meet the girl's eyes, "Sit down and I'll tell you a story."

Rin stayed standing, reluctant and frowning.

"Come on. I won't bite."

"Oh, really," the girl whispered.

Len laughed shakily, "Dogs bite. Cats scratch. Stereotypically."

Reluctantly, Rin did as she was told and sat down on the bed, though keeping her distance from Len. His blue eyes had a faraway, almost nostalgic, look, as he stared at the gun in his left hand.

A mobile's ringing broke the silence. Len snapped back into reality and grabbed a mobile phone from the folds of the bedcovers. With an angry expression he answered the call, "What?"

There was a pause before he shouted, "Shut up! I do what I want!" And he promptly switched the phone off, throwing it to the other side of the room, where it smashed against the wall, landing in pieces beyond repair. Rin only gawked, speechless.

Len breathed in deeply, calming himself. His eyes were closed, and when he opened them again, there was not a single trace of anger left. Again, it was silent.

"So…" ventured Rin carefully, "Wh-what about the –"

"Oh. Oh, yeah, I was getting to that," chipped in Len. He tilted his head backwards and gazed at the ceiling and, with a cheerless smile, began his story.

"Now, how do I start this? Heh. As far as I can remember, I lived in an orphanage. I had no idea who my parents were. And I never knew, either. Every day was tough. Every day was the same. The orphanage was a poor one, and it barely had enough facilities for half of us, never mind all of us. We all had to work for our keep, otherwise… they'd just throw us out. Just like that," he paused. Why? Why was he telling this girl his past? What was it about her that made him… trust her?

Rin stared intently at Len. Her eyes peered into the depths of his heart. Under normal circumstances, the boy would have been able to stare back, but this time, he looked away, feeling… he didn't know what he was feeling. Nevertheless, he continued with his tale.

"I never knew much. I never learnt much. The orphanage didn't teach us much."

"About what?" asked the girl quietly.

"About family. And love… that sort of stuff," Len laughed softly. "So even now, I don't know love."

"Did you like the orphanage though?"

Len shrugged. "I guess I'm… grateful, I think. But…" he trailed off.

"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue?" Rin attempted a joke.

Any other time Len would have glared at whoever made such a joke like that, but he wasn't in the mood to intimidate people. He glanced at his digital clock. They still had some time left.

"Anyway," he continued. "There was a day. One fateful day. The night before, we had all gone to bed as usual, with a bit of fussing about. The next day, I woke up. Everything was in ruins. Everything."

Len's eyes took on a melancholic expression, as blue as sadness itself. His voice shook as he carried on again, "I was the only one left. The house was demolished. Broken furniture was scattered all across the floor. Glass had been smashed and rubbish covered the few dirty carpets. I was scared. So scared. Dead bodies of all my childhood companions littered the ground, bloodied and broken… it was horrible. I just… I just couldn't do anything.

"Before I could take another step, I felt something against my head. It was cold. And had an air of murder about it. It clicked and I heard a man's voice. He said to me, 'How are you feeling?'

"I couldn't speak. My throat felt tight. It hurt. I replied, 'Horrified.' One word summed it all up. But then, I heard the man's finger on the trigger. It frightened me even more." He laughed nervously. "I guess I am just a scaredy cat. But back then, I also felt something else. I had no idea why I told that man though. But I did.

"'Thrilled.' And that word changed my life. I don't really know why I felt that way. It felt like I was under some sort of spell. But after that moment, the cold air shattered. It happened in a blur of motion. I had no idea how it happened… it's like my reflexes took over. Within seconds I had managed to knock the gun out of the man's hand. Sent it flying and caught it myself. It surprised me just as much as it surprised him. I found myself pointing it at the man with shaking hands."

Len stared at his hands and softly laughed again. "See? They're shaking even now."

"Who was he?"

"Whoever he was, I was grateful, somewhat. He was part of an organisation. They took me in. I was an orphan, but they gave me something as close to a family as I could have ever wished for. They gave me what I had always wanted – freedom and a life. My own life. But… nothin ever comes free. I was part of their organisation now and I had to do as I was told, else they'd simply kick me out. And then I'd have no-one to turn to, nowhere to go."

"Wh-what sort of jobs did you have to do?"

"Jobs that dirtied my hands – dyed them red. I didn't like it at first, but it soon became… normal. I couldn't care less."

"Y-you… killed?"

Len smirked half-heartedly. "Hmph. I prefer the term skilfully assassinated."

"B-but… In cold blood? You killed people you didn't even know!"

"So what? All the better if I didn't know them. Makes the job easier. Besides, everyone dies sooner or later. What should a few lives mean to me? I also did a handful of other jobs: kidnapping, couriering, stealing, 'escorting', protecting…" He counted them out on his still-trembling fingers.

"And I'm just a part of one of your assignments."

Rin's voice was tinged with hurt. But that meant nothing to the boy. He winked.

"Yup."

"But why me?" protested the girl. "What's so special about me?"

"I think you know anyway," sighed Len. He picked up another phone from somewhere. Click. Click. "Ah, here it is… Let's see… Client: Father. Wants –"

"Shut up!" screamed Rin suddenly. Even Len paused, with a hint of surprise on his face… or was it amusement?

He pretended to yawn. "Well, I'm tired. Why don't you talk? Humour me."

"I think you know anyway," Rin shot back.

Len wagged his finger at her. "Tsk. Tsk. I want to know whether my information was correct, see?"

Rin stared at the floor, her eyes sad and watery.

She gave in and began her tale. "My parents were rich. I had everything I wanted as a child. Everything except attention. My parents didn't have much time for me, due to their jobs and things like that. Although occasionally, we did have holidays together. A trip to the beach or something simple like that. It was never much. It got to a point where I was ignored for weeks on end. Even months. Eventually, I couldn't take it any more, so I ran away from home. I stayed with my best friend, Miku, and she was more than happy to take me in. We live in an apartment together, as you know already."

"And seen," commented the boy blankly.

Rin nodded. "We're quite happy together on our own. Her parents are fine with it and so am I. Father tried to take me back at first, but he soon gave up, seeing it was hopeless. I like this life and I want to keep it this way."

Len gazed at the blonde girl, incomprehension in his blue eyes. He would never understand things like this.

Rin smiled, almost ruefully, and said, "I guess he wants me back again."

It was silent again. Silence like a terrified animal, prepared to flee at any moment.

There was a resounding knock on the front door. It echoed through the empty hallways.

Rin turned to Len, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks. She knew what was coming.

"Please," she whispered. "Please don't make me go back."

"It's not my problem," Len smirked. He shrugged and added, "Just doing my job."

"Please… if you ever cared about me…"

"Mmm… nope," answered the boy without a care.

Rin shook her head as the stairs creaked under the heavy footsteps.

"Please," she begged, "I thought… I thought you loved me."

"I told you," sighed Len with a dismissive wave of his hand, "I don't know how to love."

Well... maybe getting a bit cheesy here. I don't know. Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!