Hello everyone! I´m back and this time with an EPOV. I wrote a few more but you will have to wait hehehe This is what happened with him after Bella ran and she had the accident. Now you won´t want to kick him :)

Thank you Jo as always and thank youuuu for your reviews!

Twilight belongs to SM and LOTR is mine. Enjoy!

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Chapter 12 EPOV

Seeing Bella run away, crying as she was and never looking back, made me feel like a total dick. How could I let her go? How I could stay here after that? For the first time in my life I had found someone who understands me, who wants to help me, who wants to try, and I just let her go? I found someone who loves me and now I've screwed up everything. Bella loves me. My Brownie Eyes loves me and I let her go. How am I going to fix this? I love her too and I bet she hates me now. God. I love her. Why did I have to fuck up everything?

"Fuck!"

"Doctor Cullen?" I heard and turned around. I was in the middle of the hall, right in the place where Bella had left me. I sighed. "You don't have a patient until fifteen minutes from now," Mrs. Coope said.

"Thank you." When I walked into my office, I thought I saw my sister or was I hallucinating? No, definitely not. Alice was here speaking with a nurse and didn't notice me. I changed direction towards her.

"Alice, what are you doing here?" I saw her surprise and I could hear a damn it.

"Errr, I..." she was looking at the doors.

"Are you ok?" Alice seemed like she was freaking out.

"Yeah, I´m fine. I needed a doctor, actually Jasper had this headache that won't go away. I forced him to come here and see some professional. Maybe it´s something he ate or it´s a cold or some kind of problem with his neck."

"Alice, you are babbling too much. What are you hiding?"

She froze. "Why do you think I'm hiding something?" She put her hand on her hips.

"Easy. I know you and you can´t stop looking at the emergency door."

"Damn it," she sighed.

"Alice, I´m waiting." Alice put down her head.

"She made me promise not to tell you." Then she looked at me and pouted.

She? "What happened to Bella?"

"Nothing."

"Alice!" I yelled at her, feeling my anxiety growing more and more.

"She had a car accident."

"How? When? Tell me she is fine." Again, it was happening again. I was going to lose her. I'm a loser. It's all my fault.

"Edward, take a deep breath, please." Alice grabbed my hand trying to relax me. "Bella is fine. It was just a bump, nothing more."

"I have to see her. I need to see her. Mrs Coope, please cancel my patients. Try to make new appoinments with other doctors."

"Sure, Doctor Cullen." I took my things and tried to close the door. Alice was in the middle right in my way.

"Alice, where is Bella?"

"I won´t tell you."

"What? Are you out of your fucking mind? I will find her." Alice pushed me to the wall.

"Bella doesn´t want to see you, Edward. She is scared of you."

"Why?" I looked at her.

"She thinks you are going to believe it's your fault."

"It is my fault."

"No, it's not. You need to calm down, please. Bella can´t see you like this. You're shaking."

"It´s happening again."

"No, Edward. It´s not the same. Trust me. First, try to relax and second, let´s do this; go home, wait for me and you will see her later."

"Alice..."

"Bella can´t see you now. Go home. She is leaving soon."

"I can´t leave her. Not her. Not Bella." I felt my body breaking into a thousand pieces. I needed her. I needed Bella. My Bella, my Brownie Eyes. I leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths, my hands on my knees. It was a familiar feeling, the palpitations, my hard breathing and I was shaking and feeling cold. How many times had I been in this situation? How many times was this story going to repeat itself? Why me?

"Edward, please, calm down." I heard Alice beside me say. "Bella is fine. You need to control that feeling. She is not Jane."

She is not. Definetely not her.

"I know," I said breathlessly.

"If you know, then don´t let her win. You need to take control before it´s too late." She was right. Bella was right. I couldn´t let my fear win. I couldn´t let Jane win again. I took deep breaths, and felt my body relaxing.

"How do you feel?" Alice put her hand on my shoulder.

"Better. Something to tell to my therapist, I guess." I ran my fingers through my hair. "And something to tell Bella, too."

"That´s good, you could control the panic attack, Eddie." I looked at her, feeling relief, very calm. I was able to control myself. I didn´t let her win this time. For the first time, I felt in control. I understood finally that it wasn´t my fault. She wasn´t the one who made me chose again. I'm not hiding anymore and I was stronger thanks to Bella. She pushed me. She wanted to help me and made me realize that without confronting my fears, I would never be free.

Bella. I stoop up, seeing Alice with me. "I need to see her, Alice."

"But she doesn´t want you..."

"Please, Alice."

"Damn you, Edward. No puppy eyes with me. Bella is going to kill me." She sighed in defeat. "Fine, but don´t let her see you. Bella didn´t want you to know. She didn´t want you freak out." We started to walk down the hall. "She has some bruises and a cut on her head, but she's fine."

Bella was sitting on a table and she had some blood on her shirt. She seemed more pale than usual and there was sadness in her look. "It´s my fault." Alice punched me.

"How many times do I have to tell you it´s not your fault? Bella was driving, not you. Stop thinking, go home, take a shower-"

"I need to talk to her." I cut her off.

"As I was saying..." Alice rolled her eyes. "Go home, take a shower and I will let you know when Bella is leaving. Then you can talk her, okay?" I nodded without taking my eyes off Bella. "Good."

Bella was alone. I had to stop myself from opening that door, running to her, wrapping her in my arms and never letting her go.

"She's fine, Edward." I heard Jasper´s voice behind me.

"I think if I hear that again, I will punch someone."

"You need a ride?" I turned around placing my hand on his shoulder.

"No, I will take the bus... for now."

"As always."

"Take care of her, please."

"I will."

"Both girls."

"Just go man. You'll see her soon." With that promise I left the bulding. I wanted to see her, but I had to wait. I took the bus like everyday, but not feeling like it was just another day for me. Finally I could open my eyes. I could see myself thanks to Bella. Even if I still have issues to work out, finally I was feeling free. Her love had set me free.

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See? Edward loved her too. Men need to be pushed sometimes lol Next chapter Pouty Lips and Brownie Eyes get dirty... wonder why?

See you soon! and write me your thoughts! 333